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改变提问,改变人生:10个改善生活与工作的有力工具

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看点:

1. 提出正确的问题,才能找到正确的解决方法。一本教你如何正确提问的图书,通过自我发问,寻找更好的人生!

2. 对于渴望在关键对话中成功沟通的人而言,这是一本必须要读的书。

3. 世界50大管理思想家之一、《华尔街日报》排名榜首的商业书籍获奖作者马歇尔?戈德史密斯作序推荐。

Content Description

这样的问题是否常常萦绕于你的脑海,挥之不去:
“为什么我如此失败?”
“他们为什么都那么笨?”
“何必白费劲?”
当你问自己这些问题的时候,是否感到不知所措,仿佛生活中的一切都开始破碎?也许你正陷入《改变提问,改变人生:10个改善生活与工作的有力工具》所介绍的“评判者泥潭”。
《改变提问,改变人生:10个改善生活与工作的有力工具》的主人公奔也许比你的情况更糟:他在新的领导岗位上岌岌可危,同时与新婚不到一年的妻子关系越来越紧张。他曾一度觉得自己是一个彻头彻尾的输家,那绝对是个惆怅的家伙!幸运的是,在探询教练约瑟夫的帮助下,奔发现自己的问题源于错误的思维方式,这种“评判者心态”最终让他陷入了泥潭。为了逃离评判者漩涡,他试着用约瑟夫教授的“提问式思维”观察自己的想法和感受,探索达成有利结果的更好的问题。正确的问题引导他做出了更明智的选择。“提问式思维”的工具和技能不但挽救了他的职业生涯,还挽救了他的婚姻。
真正的改变永远始于思想的改变,思想的改变体现在你向自己提出了正确的问题。所谓“正确的”问题,就是那些赋予他人力量的问题,而非令人泄气的问题。正确的问题将会带你找到解决问题的方法,你的家庭、婚姻、工作、人际关系甚至人生,将因此而改变。
Author Description

梅若李·亚当斯(Marilee Adams),集高管教练、演说家及企业顾问于一身,现任探询学院院长及首席提问官。她服务过的客户包括洛克希德·马丁公司、西门子建筑技术、DHL、独立蓝十字会、多伦多总医院、布鲁克林学院、NASA Goddard等机构。亚当斯博士另著有《提问的艺术:以提问为中心的短期心理治疗指南》一书。
Comments

★梅若李的著作,是迄今为止我所见过的、对提问的力量诠释得最深刻的。千真万确:我们生活的世界,是由我们的问题创造出来的。
——戴维·库珀里德(David Cooperrider)博士
教授,凯斯西储大学Weatherhead管理学院,《欣赏式探询》的作者之一

★这是每个教练的必读之书!《改变提问,改变人生》不仅非常实用,而且发人深省。它阐释了一个深刻的真理:我们向自己提出的问题,决定了我们成功的机会,决定了我们对人生方方面面的满意程度。
——琳达·佩吉(Linda Page)博士
Alder国际学习组织的创始人兼总裁,《将头脑溶于心灵中去教练》的作者之一

★超级引人入胜。《改变提问,改变人生》不仅展示了“提问式思维”如何创造出更高效、更人性化的工作环境,同时还为读者指明了一条崭新的大道,令他们在生命中的每个领域都变得更加快乐、更加高效。
——卡里·彻尼斯(Cary Cherniss)博士
《高情商的工作环境》的主编之一

★自从“世界咖啡”诞生以来,梅若李的著作一直都是我们主要的参考资源。对于渴望在关键对话中成功沟通的人而言,这是一本必须要读的书。
——朱安妮塔·布朗和戴维·伊萨克(Juanita Brown and David Isaacs)
世界咖啡(The World Cafe)的联合创办者,《世界咖啡》一书的合著者
Catalogue

赞誉
推荐序一
推荐序二
译者序

引言
第1章 真相大白的时刻
第2章 接受挑战
第3章 选择地图
第4章 我们都是正在转变的评判者
第5章 厨房谈心
第6章 转换问题
第7章 用新眼光去看用新耳朵去听
第8章 学习者团队与评判者团队
第9章 见证奇迹的时刻
第10章 提问风暴来救援
第11章 爱情啊爱情
第12章 探询式领导
提问式思维
10个改善生活与工作的有力工具
Book Abstract

《改变提问,改变人生:10个改善生活与工作的有力工具》:
我意识到,如果苏姗想要改善结果,她需要改变她所提的问题。当我建议她问自己一个新问题时,她完全懵了。我建议她问自己:“我可以做什么,才能让我的老板更有面子?”这个问题明显远远超出了苏姗看待老板的心态边界。即使如此,她同意试一试。
几个月之后,我遇到了苏姗和她的丈夫。她向我绽放笑容,问我是否想听听我们上次谈话后,在她的工作中发生的“奇迹”。“我不仅保住了工作,还升职和加薪了!”她骄傲地汇报着,“但是最不可思议的是,我和老板一起做了一次社区志愿者,虽然我们之前甚至都不愿在同一个房间里待着。这真是太棒了!”然后,苏姗的丈夫补充说明了积极的改变不只发生在工作场所。他笑眯眯地看着妻子说:“自从苏姗不再每晚都抱怨她的老板之后,我的生活也轻松多了!”尽管《改变提问,改变人生》是一个虚构的商业故事,但它的影响力远远超出了工作场合。正如奔和苏姗一样,你会发现,在商业情境下如此有效的原则,同样可以帮助我们极大地改善个人生活中的各种关系。
我在为《财富》100强某企业开办的探询式领导力工作坊中,有一名高级工程师学员名为泰德。他很认真地完成了我布置的作业,练习从吹毛求疵的评判态度转变为创新的学习态度。结果如何?当天晚餐时,他和16岁的儿子进行了一年多来最愉快的一次谈话。第二天早晨,泰德告诉我们:“我儿子有一种非凡的能力,很善于挑战我的极限。通常我的反应就是你们所说的‘被评判者绑架了’。但是昨晚完全不同,我没上钩,没冲他大喊,我们没像往常那样大吵一架不欢而散。”泰德说他儿子笑着翻了翻白眼,逗他说:“你是怎么了?”看得出,他对自己的表现很满意。
当出版社建议我写《改变提问,改变人生》第2版时。我觉得是个很好的机会,可以加入一些客户和工作坊学员认为颇为受益的新内容。有些章节换了新题目,也有一些是完全新增的章节:“我们都是正在转变的评判者”(你可以嘲笑这个事实——其他人也笑!)、“学习者团队与评判者团队”,还有“提问风暴来救援”。另外,在提问式思维工具部分,也增加了新的工具,收录在奔的故事之后。
在我的第一本书《提问的艺术》中,我写道:“问题好似隐藏在灿烂阳光下的宝藏。”我写《改变提问,改变人生》的初衷是要提供一张容易参考的地图,让你能够快速找到那些宝藏并将它们珍藏。我也采用了讲故事的方式,使读者更容易体会到提问式思维能给他们的生活带来什么样的改变。提问可以打开我们的心扉,开阔我们的视野和心胸。通过提问,我们学习、沟通和创造。依靠提问,我们能创造更美好的未来和更理想的结果。我希望奔的故事能以真实可见的方式让你看到,提问如何能将人们切实地带向各种可能性。
我称为提问式思维的这个领域,还蕴含着诸多重要的意义可供探索。例如,想象一下这些观点和工具如果运用于教育、亲子和健康护理领域,会产生怎样的影响力。我们甚至会想:“使用提问式思维的视角,对于我们这些渴望创造积极未来的个人、家庭、组织和世界来说,意味着什么呢?”我有一个愿景:所有的工作场所和社会,包括个人、家庭、机构和团体,都会因为探询精神而生机勃勃。我们所追求的方向,将从某个特定的观点和简单的答案转变为好奇和思虑周全的提问。这是一条通往开放心态和成功协作、通往探索发现和创造革新的光明大道,也是照亮所有人期待的未来,让我们看到真实可能性的智慧光芒。
现在,是时候请大家去会一会奔先生了。请各位与他一起去探索,改变你的提问将会怎样真真切切地改变你的人牛。
……
Introduction

从个体学习到组织学习
这是一个最好的时代,也是一个最坏的时代。
21世纪的组织面临着剧烈的变革。这种状况源于经济全球化、产品生命周期的缩短和技术平台转换所带来的技术需求、产业边界融合和战略合作扩大产生的竞争、大量管制的取消和新贸易摩擦的出现所带来的机遇,以及快速发展的互联网造就的颠覆式创新。
到2014年,组织所面临关键问题的复杂程度远远超过了过去5~10年。根据贝托尔特·迈耶(Bertolt Meyer)和沃尔夫冈·肖勒(Wolfgang Scholl,2009)的研究,问题之所以具有如此复杂的特征,其原因在于环境的复杂性、不透明性、互联性、动态性和多目标性。借用美国军队的一个术语—VUCA(易变:volatility;难以预测:uncertainty;复杂:complexity;模糊:ambiguity),可以很好地概括当下这个时代。
企业如何应对VUCA?这是一个复杂且重要的命题。在这个极富挑战性的时期,解决复杂问题成为了一种生活方式。组织成员,尤其是领导人,必须学会审时度势,既要承担适当的风险,又要利用有限的时间和资源,分析环境的不确定性,从而做出巧妙的决策,并要在深思熟虑后采取行动。现在的问题变得越来越复杂—它们不仅在一开始就很难识别出来,而且经常隐藏在其他问题之内,因此领导人必须依靠集体的力量开辟出一条道路,以便于组织在激烈的竞争之中保持充分的韧性。
如何才能依靠集体的力量,在解决复杂问题的同时持续提升组织解决问题的能力?行动学习或许是我们的最佳可选策略之一。
行动学习是在20世纪40年代由英国的管理思想家、行动学习先驱雷格·瑞文斯(Reg Revans)提出来的。自从这个概念首次在英国威尔士煤矿提出以来,它就一直有一个主要的目的:“用真实的人,在真实的时间,解决真实的问题并取得真实的结果。”从一开始,行动学习就有一个认知,即在解决问题的过程中,学习是开发突破性思维和取得重大成功的关键。行动学习是一个了不起的、高效的问题解决过程,这个过程充分利用了人类的想象力和勇气。行动学习是由一个具有挑战性的真实问题所驱动的,这一事实使得参与者在整合各自多样化的观点来集体解决问题时,学习的发生是直接的、有用的、多层面的。

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