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Jingdong book

80后新活力文丛:遍地伤花

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80后新活力文丛:遍地伤花

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《80后新活力文丛:遍地伤花》是“80后”一代知识青年的成长史,它以略带哀伤的笔墨,祭奠渐渐远去的青春,呈现了一代人在面临人生转折时恍惚、迷惘的精神状态,尤其是周克等“失败者”的形象,因承载着复杂的时代信息而令人印象深刻……

Author Description

李德南,男,1983年生,先后就读于上海大学哲学系与中山大学文中文系,获哲学硕士、文学博士学位,现为广州文学艺术创作研究院青年学者、专业作家,兼任华语文学传媒大奖提名评委、广东作协签约作家。曾在《文艺争鸣》、《南方文坛》、《海南师范大学学报》、《山花》等发表各类文章约60万字,著有《途中之镜》等。

Comments

★李德南的“80后”主人公不再流光溢彩,撒娇卖萌。相反,他们的青春心事重重,荡若飘萍,幸运从未光顾,梦想早早夭折。时代如同残忍的继母,直把骨骼未成的儿女推进命运的悲风。这是心碎的诗篇,却从加缪式的冷峻里得温暖;这是迷茫的呼告,却在忍住的眼泪里求安慰。每一个生活于此的真实之人,都会从这部小说中认出他强作欢颜的姊妹弟兄。

——文学评论家 李静

★诗意,浪漫,哀而不伤。我在李德南的小说中看到了这些优秀而日渐稀缺的文学品质。我很好奇,是什么让他如此思辨深刻、少年老成,也许答案就在他的作品中。

——作家 王十月

★融智性与诗性于一体,在消费文学所塑造的小资假面之外,重绘“80后”的精神肖像。

——作家 弋舟

Catalogue

一 往昔光影
二 小罗曼史
三 悲伤之镜
四 在边界上
五 快乐王国
六 落拓诗人
七 海滨故人
八 魂兮归来
后记:为时代的失败者造像
Book Abstract

《80后新活力文丛:遍地伤花》:
之前周克每次去看望他外祖母,她总会一次又一次地提起自己的女儿,也就是周克的母亲。
有时候想想,死亡和血缘真的是一对奇怪的合伙人,让人与人之间的感情变得错综复杂,互相纠缠,无从厘清。而血缘本身就充满神奇,可以将一个人的气质、容貌、性格,等等,以隐蔽的形式传递给另一个人,让他们彼此相像,并且为他们建立一种稳定的关系提供可能。从照片上看,周克外祖母和周克生母也是很像的,类似于巩俐和章子怡。周克外祖母在看女儿的照片时,稍不留神就会觉得是在看更年轻的自己,让她欷欺不已。也许是因为自己的一些经历,外祖母对死亡这个词特别敏感,她怕死。她曾希望能通过血缘,通过生儿育女这么一种方式来延续生命。如果她的血液仍然在另一个躯体内流动着,那么死者的一部分自我就仍然存在于生者的血肉之躯内,这多少能够部分地打消死亡给她所带来的恐惧。
不幸的是,她的两个孩子都在她之前离她而去。
年轻时的外祖母曾经有过一个儿子,他是周克母亲的哥哥。年幼的儿子在房间里甜蜜地做着梦的时候,勤劳的母亲把房门轻轻地带上了,跟着就下楼去清洗儿子的尿布。过了一会儿,这孩子醒了。他还不会走路,在地面上茫然地爬行一圈后,又无师自通地扒开了门。他出了客厅,继续往外爬,结果从楼梯上摔了下去。稚嫩的头骨撞在坚硬的墙角上,磕了个洞,鲜血像蚯蚓一样从头骨的缝隙慢慢涌出。受了这样的伤,自然是很痛的,他却只是叹息似的发出了一些很轻微的声音,就去了另一个世界。
直到血蚯蚓由鲜活变成干死,年轻的母亲才想起楼上的孩子。当时并没有不祥的预感,她很从容地把芬芳的布片晾在同样芬芳的阳光下,擦干双手,这才开始上楼。和孩子在楼梯上相遇的那一刻,她也觉得有些意外,接着便突然尖叫了一声。这般撕心裂肺和用力过度的叫喊,使得她好像一下子老了十年。
外祖母原来在大家心中有着美好的形象。自从失去那个孩子,许多人对她的看法,就开始逐渐变了。因为她有四只虎牙,便有人将她想象成一只会吞吃自己儿子的老虎。周克出世前那一年,他的外祖父又意外地遭受车祸,去世了。在众人那里,外祖母的形象又发生了一点变化:她是一只会吞食自己儿子和丈夫的老虎。
对于这些闲言碎语,周克外祖母原来并不相信。
直到接二连三的变故出现,她才开始对命运感到恐惧。尤其是周克母亲去世的时候,她心里的恐惧到达了顶峰。
周克母亲的去世,意外地切断了血缘的延续,这让外祖母悲伤极了。她在惊恐和悲伤中抓住了两根救命稻草:周克和上帝。她皈依了上帝,从此十字架不离身。说起那些和她有血缘关系的死者,她总忘不了在心里说,求上帝宽恕;而当她用粗糙的双手抚摸周克,她会说,求上帝保佑。
她用了很多时间来进行漫长的忏悔,抗拒可怕的隐喻。她的赎罪与拯救之途是从拔牙开始的,她蹑手蹑脚地走进了一家很小的私人诊所,让牙医替她拔掉了虎牙。随之而来的口腔发炎,折磨了她整整一个月。她喜欢吃果汁软糖、奶油饼干和杏仁巧克力,可能和这些习惯有关,还不算太老的时候,她的牙齿就全都烂掉了。看着空洞的口腔,她稍微安了些心,新的忧虑却随之生出——她担心上帝会听不清源自内心、却经由漏风的嘴说出的忏悔和祈祷。结果,她又在另一家私人诊所配了一副假牙。
两个孩子相继去世后,周克就成了她体内血液唯一一股幸存的支流。周克连话都还不会讲,她就送了一条带有十字架的银链给他。据说这是从一个德高望重的神父那里得来的,颇有神性与灵性,链子的做工,却未免糟糕。在十字架的一面,耶稣低垂着头,很瘦,接近周克后来在经书上所见的面目。这位受难者的大腿,却是一条粗、一条细,仿佛得过小儿麻痹症。而在十字架的另一面,耶稣的头微微上仰,胸肌发达,看上去完全不像受难者,倒像是优秀的体操运动员。可惜他的手臂又是一只长、一只短。不过不管怎样,周克是不敢随便摘下这条项链的。
外祖母经常给周克零用钱,给周克任何她觉得好的东西,讲故事给他听。这个外孙有着俊美的外貌,她希望自己能把他明珠似的托在手掌上,让他时刻闪耀着快乐、幸福的光芒。外祖母的爱,给了周克许多温暖,使得他的童年生活只是惨淡而已,却还不至于到暗无天日的地步。
成年后的周克,却不忍心继续用这位老人的钱,更不想接受这份沉重得让他有些喘不过气的爱。并没有想过要伤害外祖母,可正是他的婉言拒绝,伤透了老人的心。她一面掉眼泪,一面说:“想不到连你都嫌弃我了,我可是你外婆呢。上帝啊,想不到竟然连我外孙都嫌弃我了。”看到一双苍老的手在胸口前不停地画着凌乱的十字,周克心痛不已,只得对她百依百顺,她给什么就拿什么,她要什么就给什么。
……

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