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KingStone

【繁體】孩子為什麼會這樣?高效能父母學專家教你一招解決80%的教養問題

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KingStone

【繁體】孩子為什麼會這樣?高效能父母學專家教你一招解決80%的教養問題

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内容簡介

隨書贈「高效能父母這樣做」自我提醒隨身卡
養兒育女是世上最辛苦也最幸福的事！
但在「教養」這條路上，每個父母都曾遭遇這樣的挫敗：
孩子怎麼講不聽、教不會？孩子為什麼會這樣？
其實，父母面對的是兩個孩子──任性的「嬰兒自我」與懂事的「成熟自我」。
孩子令人頭痛的行為，70％是「嬰兒自我」惹的禍！
同理接納做得好，80％孩子教養問題迎刃而解！
◎8個教養應用題＋8個教養解答題＋高效能教養分析＋同理接納4大句型→教你正確面對孩子的嬰兒自我
為什麼一到睡覺時間，孩子就「毛病」一大堆？
為什麼孩子總是講不聽，愈教愈生氣？
為什麼兄弟整天吵不完，父母打罵都沒用？
為什麼孩子每天寫功課，挫折、情緒一大堆？
為什麼不讓孩子玩手機，他就化身小惡魔？
◎3大類生活中常見教養問題＋教養態度提醒＋高效能SOP教養法五大步驟＋15個親子互動案例分析表
→問題發生前：掌握教養態度，親子衝突是可以避免的
→當孩子出現行為問題……運用高效能SOP教養法五大步驟，教養問題迎刃而解
→父母該怎麼做，孩子又在想什麼？親子互動案例分析表一目了然
‧生活習慣篇
孩子一回到家，「大解放」地亂丟東西
孩子罵一下才動一下，壞習慣怎樣都改不了？
媽媽＝全能祕書？寫功課、整理書包……不甘我的事？
‧紀律管教篇
孩子學習老是三分鐘熱度，怎麼辦？
孩子調皮、在校狀況連連，真的無法可管嗎？
‧情緒溝通篇
孩子剛上幼兒園，哭哭啼啼地抓著父母不放……
和弟弟妹妹爭寵，只會哭鬧爸媽不愛他？
孩子想要的東西不買給他，就對爸媽擺臭臉？
‧父母實戰演練篇
→25個「孩子為什麼會這樣」問題所有權快速判斷法＋選擇最佳對應策略（我的訊息、合理的行為結果、反映傾聽）
本書特色
1.隨書贈「高效能父母這樣做」自我提醒隨身卡。
2.作者的第一本著作《高效能父母學》讓媽媽團齊聲說：這本書真是好、好、好……，而《孩子為什麼會這樣》會是最令父母心有戚戚焉的教養專書。
3.本書不同於目前市面上較偏向以單一教養問題解決法為訴求的教養書籍，呈現出更寬廣的思考格局，更進一步回應父母在養兒育女這條路上的內在心聲。

作者簡介

作者介紹李顯文

15年親職諮詢經驗，協助千百位華人父母解決教養難題

輔仁大學企業管理系畢業，17年諮商輔導經驗，歷任：吉隆坡關懷輔導中心、怡保心燈輔導中心諮商協助員，現任「父母效能系統訓練課程」資深領導員。

1997年開始電話諮商工作；1999年開始帶領父母效能訓練課程；2009年起在大台北地區松山、新生、仁愛、文湖、實踐、國北教實小、公館、明倫、復興等10多所國小的讀書會、老師或志工媽媽團，以及新意象美術教室、鍥而生態讀書會、媽媽play教室、關心幼兒美語教室等團體，進行父母效能課程、父母成長課程、老師輔導課程及親職講座的工作。

菜媽的親職教養部落格http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/leestep2009

目錄

PART1 孩子講不聽、打不怕，為什麼會這樣？
■孩子令人頭痛的行為，70％是嬰兒自我惹的禍！
教養應用題【1】為什麼一到睡覺時間，孩子就「毛病」一大堆？
【高效能教養分析】嬰兒自我總是為了反抗而反抗
【高效能教養分析】其實父母面對的是兩個孩子──嬰兒自我與成熟自我
【高效能教養分析】先退卻嬰兒自我、再教養成熟自我
教養應用題【2】孩子講不聽，愈教愈生氣
【高效能教養分析】親子共處時，雙方嬰兒自我最容易茁壯！
教養應用題【3】為什麼孩子總是和我唱反調？
【高效能教養分析】孩子和父母唱反調，是為了凸顯自己的重要性
■嬰兒自我到底想要什麼？
父母總是想太多，孩子想要的只是「你的關注」
教養應用題【4】早就預知的結果，怎麼說都不聽
【高效能教養分析】嬰兒自我因被忽視而有危機感，會想辦法贏回注意！
教養應用題【5】兄弟整天吵不完，父母打罵都沒用
【高效能教養分析】不要搞錯教養的真正對象
【高效能教養分析】第一時間糾正「嬰兒自我」，等於鼓勵孩子的負面行為
■面對孩子強大嬰兒自我，應該怎麼做？
──同理孩子的情緒，跟他站在同一國
教養應用題【6】孩子每天寫功課，挫折、情緒一大堆
【同理接納第一步】告訴自己：嬰兒自我會有情緒與反應是正常的
【同理接納第二步】站在孩子的高度，理解他的情緒與行為
【同理接納第三步】真正的同理接納是全盤接受並讓孩子知道
【同理接納第四步】4個句型，讓同理接納變成父母的反射行為
■別讓「同理接納」變成孩子操控父母的武器
教養應用題【7】討厭坐安全座椅的孩子，總是哭鬧不休
【高效能教養分析】小心！你的回應會讓孩子再次吵鬧
【高效能教養分析】負面情緒反覆出現，父母不勝其擾？──暫停同理接納，給孩子空間更有效
【高效能教養分析】別讓孩子覺得父母該為他的壞心情負責
■正確應對「嬰兒自我」：同理接納→給予空間→親子分離
教養應用題【8】孩子玩不到手機，就化身小惡魔
【高效能教養分析】當同理接納效果有限……
【高效能教養分析】試著暫時不當父母，只是孩子倚靠的維尼熊！
【高效能教養分析】管教要挑對時機，才能事半功倍！
PART2 正確面對嬰兒自我──實踐「高效能父母學」，親子互動更良好
■同理接納做得好，搞定80％教養問題
教養解答題【1】為什麼一到睡覺時間，孩子就「毛病」一大堆？
【理解孩子的嬰兒自我】「為什麼我一定得睡覺、你們卻可以開心聊天？」
【正確面對嬰兒自我】同理接納孩子的情緒，忽視孩子的滋事行為！
【高效能父母這樣做】教養SOP五大步驟
BOX高效能父母學專家看問題
4項建議，讓孩子乖乖睡覺
教養解答題【2】為什麼孩子講不聽，愈教愈生氣？
【理解孩子的嬰兒自我】「為什麼我做不好？真討厭！氣死人！」
【正確面對嬰兒自我】不要刺激嬰兒自我，先同理接納孩子的情緒
【高效能父母這樣做】管教的關鍵──判斷問題所有權
【高效能父母這樣做】先協助孩子釋放負面情緒，再鼓勵他面對問題、承擔責任
教養解答題【3】為什麼孩子總是和我唱反調？
【理解孩子的嬰兒自我】「我可不想面對選擇壓力，只想別人來揣摩我的心意！」
【正確面對嬰兒自我】父母要有彈性，有時堅持、有時卻需要改變
【高效能父母這樣做】區分狀況，判斷問題屬於誰
【高效能父母這樣做】面對孩子總是做不好的事，愈要給予肯定
■順應孩子的選擇，讓他學到教訓、學會自我負責
教養解答題【4】早就預知的結果，怎麼說都不聽
【理解孩子的嬰兒自我】「我就是要堅持己見，你只能聽我的！」
【正確面對嬰兒自我】父母愈想改變孩子，孩子愈不會輕言妥協
【高效能父母這樣做】讓孩子做決定並為自己的選擇負責
【高效能父母這樣做】切勿利用讚賞、肯定來控制孩子的表現
教養解答題【5】兄弟整天吵不完，父母打罵都沒用
【理解孩子的嬰兒自我】「不能讓爸媽只關心哥哥，我也要……」
【正確面對嬰兒自我】為什麼孩子寧願挨罵，也不願意乖一點？
【高效能父母這樣做】父母錯誤地插手，會造成孩子學不到教訓
【高效能父母這樣做】「有你真好！」教孩子了解手足的珍貴
■反映傾聽孩子的感受，讓他學會情緒管理
教養解答題【6】孩子每天寫功課，挫折、情緒一大堆
【理解孩子的嬰兒自我】「掌控不了功課，但能掌控住媽媽也很好！」
【正確面對嬰兒自我】別被孩子的負面情緒綁架
【高效能父母這樣做】從旁協助，但要讓孩子做自己的主人
【高效能父母這樣做】讚賞肯定孩子的正面行為，扭轉他的負面感受
BOX高效能父母學專家這樣看問題
「結束寫功課」的時間才是重點！
■善用同理接納、忽視、不回應、親子分離……讓孩子學會「雖然不喜歡，但還是得做」
教養解答題【7】討厭坐安全座椅的孩子，總是哭鬧不休
【理解孩子的嬰兒自我】「這次哭鬧達到目的，下次就繼續這樣做！」
【正確面對嬰兒自我】同理接納、忽視、不回應、親子分離……
【高效能父母這樣做】先消退嬰兒自我，再教養成熟自我
【高效能父母這樣做】保持心情正能量，觀察並肯定孩子
BOX高效能父母學專家這樣看問題
動動腦！和孩子在車上玩益智小遊戲
■不和嬰兒自我講道理，讓孩子學會接受「被拒絕」！
教養解答題【8】孩子玩不到手機，就化身小惡魔
【理解孩子的嬰兒自我】「我就是要這個！我就是要……綁你在身邊！」
【正確面對嬰兒自我】嬰兒自我強大時，避免太多親子互動
【高效能父母這樣做】言出必行！少用「絕對」這樣的字眼
【高效能父母這樣做】感謝孩子，就是肯定孩子做出正確的行為
PART3 是孩子的問題，還是父母想太多？──5大高效能SOP解決3大類常見教養問題

各界推薦／推薦序

吳福濱（全國家長團體聯盟理事長）、陳安儀（親子作家）、綠豆粉圓爸‧趙介亭（展賦教育文創執行長）一致推薦
《孩子為什麼會這樣？》這本書中，顯文把深奧的教養理論，用更為簡單的範例，以清楚的步驟直接加以分解！對於一些常見的問題，像是「總是無法按時就寢」、「吃飯總是要叫半天」、「坐汽車座椅食哭鬧不休」、「打人」、「說髒話」……等等常見的問題，都有非常清楚的解決方法。家長更能夠一目了然，直接應用，實在是我們當父母的一大福音！
透過生活中實際案例的分析，進一步帶家長回到源頭，這些令父母困擾的教養問題將一一解套。父母可以更清楚的知道，如何在教養過程中運用、落實這套「父母效能」的方法，把孩子的不當行為一一去除，而且不用生氣、不傷和氣！
有了這一本《孩子為什麼會這樣？》保證你藥到病除，運用起來得心應手，絕對是你看過最實用的一本教養書喔！──陳安儀（親子作家）
顯文老師的新書《孩子為什麼會這樣？》光是看到書名就令我莞爾一笑，因為我在帶領親子團體與親職座談時，最常聽到的也是這一句話呀！
「講很多次了，也打了也罵了，孩子為什麼還是會這樣？」無論是吃飯、洗澡、穿衣、睡覺、坐車、遊戲……孩子似乎總是要讓父母不開心，難道孩子是在討打討罵嗎？顯文老師以美國臨床心理學家安東尼．渥夫博士所提出的「嬰兒自我VS成熟自我」，提供父母重新解讀孩子行為背後的起因。
有了這本書，父母將更可以掌握「民主式教養：自由與責任、平等與尊重」的心法與技法。長期下來，不但和孩子的關係會愈來愈好，連自己的情緒都會愈來愈穩定呢！
當每位父母都能夠以溫和而堅定的態度，陪伴孩子面對自然或合理的結果時，孩子就能擁有優質的幼年經驗，也就奠基了影響其一生的關鍵性格，讓我們一起成為高效能父母吧！──趙介亭（綠豆粉圓爸、展賦教育文創執行長）

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Yami is committed to provide our customers with a peace of mind when purchasing from us. Most items shipped from Yamibuy.com can be returned within 30 days of receipt of shipment (For Food, Beverages, Snacks, Dry Goods, Health supplements, Fresh Grocery and Perishables Goods, within 7 days of receipt of shipment due to damages or quality issues; To ensure that every customer receives safe and high-quality products, we do not provide refunds or returns for beauty products once they have been opened or used, except in the case of quality issues; Some products may have different policies or requirements associated with them, please see below for products under special categories, or contact Yami Customer Service for further assistance).
Thank you for your understanding and support.

Learn More

Sold by Yami

Terms and Conditions of Yami E-Gift Card

If you choose “Redeem automatically” as your delivery method, your gift card balance will be reload automatically after your order has been processed successfully;

If you choose “Send to Email”as your delivery method, the card number and CVV will be sent to the email address automatically;

Any user can use the card number and CVV to redeem the gift card, please keep your gift card information safely. If you have any trouble receiving email, please contact Yami customer service;

Yami gift card can be used to purchase both Yami owned or Marketplace products;

Yami gift card will never expire;

Yami gift card balance does not have to be used up at once;

All rights reserved by Yami.

Return Policy

Gift card that has already been consumed is non-refundable.

Sold by King Stone

Service Guarantee

Yami Free Shipping over $49
Yami Easy Returns
Yami Ships from United States

Shipping

  • United States

    Standard Shipping is $5.99 (Excluding Alaska & Hawaii). Free on orders of $49 or more.

    Local Express is $5.99 (Available in Parts of CA, NJ, MA & PA). Free on orders of $49 or more.

    2-Day Express (Includes Alaska & Hawaii) starts at $19.99.

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

Sold by King Stone

Service Guarantee

Yami Cross-store Free Shipping over $49
Yami 30-days Return

Yami-China FC

Yami has a consolidation warehouse in China which collects multiple sellers’ packages and combines to one order. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to your door. Cross-store free shipping over $69.

Return Policy

You may return products within 30 days upon receiving the products. Sellers take responsibilities for any wrong shipment or missing items. Packing needs to be unopened for any other than quality issues return. We promise to pack carefully, but because goods are taking long journey to destinations, simple damages to packaging may occur. Any damages not causing internal goods quality problems are not allowed to return. If you open the package and any quality problem is found, please contact customer service within three days after receipt of goods.

Shipping Information

Yami Consolidation Service Shipping Fee $9.99(Free shipping over $69)

Sellers in China will ship their orders within 1-2 business days once the order is placed. Packages are sent to our consolidation warehouse in China and combined there. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to you via UPS. The average time for UPS to ship from China to the United States is about 10 working days and it can be traced using the tracking number. Due to the pandemic, the delivery time may be delayed by about 5 days. The package needs to be signed by the guest. If the receipt is not signed, the customer shall bear the risk of loss of the package.

Sold by King Stone

Service Guarantee

Free shipping over 49
Genuine guarantee
Ship from Taiwan

Shipping

UPS Ground $11.99(Free shipping over $49)


Seller will ship the orders within 1-2 business days. It will not be shipped between April 7, 2019 and April 4, 2019. Orders during this time will begin shipping on April 8. Thanks for your cooperation.

Yami Points information

All items are excluding from any promotion or points events on Yamibuy.com

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

Yami

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KingStone