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女人的成熟比成功更重要

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聪明女人,你与幸福,只差一点点成熟(越早阅读,越早成熟,越早收获幸福人生。
Content Description

《女人的成熟比成功更重要》首次出版以来,影响了无数女性的命运和生活,并于2011年荣获大学出版社畅销书一等奖。此次再版,全新修订新增近九万字内容,李老师真诚分享自己多年经营家庭与事业和热心为女性朋友答疑解惑的心得,生动形象地揭示出男女性格、思维方式的差异及由此产生的行为模式的不同等诸多读者关心的问题。
Author Description

李玲瑶,美籍华人,经济学博士
北京大学经济学院兼职教授、清华大学继续教育学院特聘教授,同时执教于浙江大学等知名高校,经常受邀到各地巡回演讲,代表课程有《智慧女性的婚姻与家庭》《亲子教育》《解读中国经济转型、资本市场与企业融资对策》,曾出版《女人的成熟比成功更重要》《走向成功》等。
李博士是位学习力旺盛的成功职业女性。她从1982年开始与丈夫一起白手起家在美国硅谷开办高科技公司,后投资美国房地产,事业有成;1985年开始在大陆投资,现拥有涉及实业、高科技及金融等不同领域的七家公司。她和丈夫育有一儿两女,皆乐观进取,先后进入美国名校读书。现均已成年,懂事孝顺。

Comments

我一直从事婚姻家庭的研究工作,深感一个人要想获得爱,首先要具备成熟的心智,懂得如何去爱。许多人正是因为缺乏这方面的知识,不能正确处理婚姻家庭关系,留下终身遗憾。本书通过大量正反两方面的真实案例,总结出婚姻的真谛。我相信这些经验之谈能帮助女性朋友解决婚姻中出现的问题。
——中国社会科学院研究员、中国婚姻家庭研究会专家委员会副主任陈一筠教授

李博士是我的知心好友,我一有机会就与她交流家庭教育心得。她对女人的修养和婚姻有自己独到的见解,并乐于分享作为过来人的感悟,帮助年轻人选择好伴侣,引导他们在复杂的两性关系中互相滋养相互成就,拥有长久而美满的婚姻。我强烈推荐年轻女性阅读此书,这对于她们未来的职业、家庭道路有至关重要的引导意义。
——畅销书《特别狠心特别爱》作者、犹太裔母亲沙拉

我从大学时代就开始读李老师的书,当年她的《走向成功》一书帮助我找到人生目标,指引我走向事业成功。我一直把李老师当作自己学习的榜样。如今我已步入天命之年,能淡定从容地面对人生中的一切。我想这首先得益于李老师书的滋养和启迪。所以我负责任地向女性朋友推荐这部凝结李老师几十年生活经验和人生智慧的女性幸福宝典。愿你们也能像我一样终身受益。
——中纺集团粮油进出口总公司原董事长汪京丽
Catalogue

女人的成熟比成功更重要
Chapter1
读懂男人,开启亲密之旅
男人感兴趣的是女人,女人看重的却是情感;男人在爱情过程中注重的是性的感觉,而女人在爱情过程中注重的是情的体会。
男人如火,女人如水002
好男人若高山,好女人像大海006
男人重性,女人重情007
男人需要被尊重,女人需要被关爱009
男人是追求欲望扩张的野生动物014
Chapter2
Mr.Right,你选对了吗?
年轻人应该在恋爱中成长,不要直接在婚姻中试错。结婚不是要趁早,伴侣选对最重要。适合你的他,一定要在精神层面“门当户对”,选择价值观接近的人做终身伴侣。
在对的时间,做对的选择022
和谁结婚,不要让父母做主025
最好的未必适合你029
选择价值观接近的人做伴侣030
嫁人就像买股票,低位入手显智慧032
对自己和未来负责,26+再结婚034
婆媳关系为何难处理039
Chapter3
成熟的爱让婚姻更美满
爱情是存款,婚姻是银行,别等到婚姻危机时才想起开账户。没有十全十美的婚姻,美满的婚姻一定都是经营出来的。
爱家的男人不是天生的046
什么样的女人最吸引男人048
不断增加感情储蓄,为婚姻保鲜053
为什么好男人总是别人的丈夫058
不要把离婚当口头禅060
没有十全十美的婚姻063
信任是夫妻关系的基石067
请降低对丈夫的期望值074
女人不要制造冲突,男人不要回避矛盾 081
Chapter4
性,牵引着幸福
有多少对夫妻的性生活只是匆匆了事走过场,就有多少个家庭悄悄埋下了情感疏离的种子。
亲密,绝不只是身体的交流086
男女“性趣”各不同089
婚姻关系的本质即性关系093
理性对待婚前性行为098
根深蒂固的“处女情结”100
女人,保护自己是第一位的104
Chapter5
婚外情,总是一种遗憾
以前的人对待婚姻就像修冰箱,坏了会反复地修,一心想修好。现在的人,东西坏了只想换新的。
当背叛发生时110
丈夫出轨了,离还是不离?112
出轨男人的自白119
男人为什么容易出轨124
女性婚外情的特点130
夫妻是荣辱共同体133
Chapter6
在婚姻中为自己留一片天空
人生应该有许多支点,把生命的重量全部放在爱情、婚姻或家庭中,是十分危险的。懂得爱自己才是人生第一课。走出认知上的误区,做个有追求的现代女性。
结婚后,你比以前更幸福了吗?138
不要在婚姻中失去自我143
正确理解婚姻关系和血缘关系148
遭遇家庭暴力怎么办?150
在婚姻中发现你的价值155
为家庭利益做出适当牺牲158
学会放弃才能有所收获161
Chapter7
内外兼修成就魅力女人
教育是最好的投资,培训是最好的福利,知识是最好的礼物。生命真正的衰退,不在于生出了白发和皱纹,而是停止了学习与进取。
每个女人都可以魅力四射166
得体的穿着是最好的名片167
学会从容地表达 172
爱自己,就要努力充实自己174
保持青春的秘诀184
阅读:扭转劣势的方法188
学习才能永葆青春192
Chapter8
智慧女人的六项修炼
智慧女人并不是碰不到问题,而是不会被问题难倒。她们能直面困境,在进退之间做出优雅的抉择。
最有力的武器,是积极的人生观200
拥有好心态,传递正能量204
相信问题总有解决的办法208
尊重他人,就是尊重自己212
拥有高情商,做情绪的主人221
人可以有挫败,但不要有灾难228
Chapter9
拿什么行走职场
成熟女人在职场上常常能认清自己的位置,不会错误地认为自己是不可取代的,但会努力让自己成为不可或缺的。
寻找你的职业锚238
把职业变成事业241
“二八哲学”要学会247
你有多认真,人生就有多精彩250
寻找生命中的亮点253
Chapter10
女人善理财更旺夫
女人自我成长的方法就是要多充实自己的脑袋和口袋,宁可口袋空空,也不能脑袋空空。心中无缺叫“富”,被人需要叫“贵”。
你自己增值,婚姻更保值258
不要成为“月光女神”260
学会理财是家庭必修课262
见好要收,见不好也要收269

Introduction

教育一个男人,是教育一个人;而教育一个女人,是教育一个家庭,教育三代人,也就是教育一个民族。所以,教育女人,比教育男人更重要!而且,男人很难自学成才,都需要女人的调教;所以,女人的成长与成熟,决定了男人的至高点与孩子的起始点。
过去的14年里,我在北京大学、清华大学等高校的MBA班、EMBA班、总裁班讲授国际金融方面的专业课程,也穿插讲授一些女性修养的课,这些课程均受到学生们的高度肯定。经常我在讲完两天的女性修养课程后,学生们都站起来长时间报以热烈的掌声,甚至有女同学走到前面来,眼泪汪汪地对我说:“李老师,如果前几年我就能听到您的课,我的人生就不会是现在这样了!”也有学生说:“李老师,能让我拥抱您一下吗?我真是太感谢您了,长这么大,没有人教过我怎么当女人,怎么为人妻、为人母,我今天终于懂了,非常感谢您!”诸多学生真诚坦率的告白使我激动不已。
经常往返于中美两国,我所看到的中国女性的成长是迅速的、跨越式的!改革开放之后,很多女性在各行各业脱颖而出,取得不俗的成绩。但不容否认的是,国内的传统教育注重的是知识的传授和技术的培养,而忽略了对女性的素质教育,尤其是淡化了受教育者性别角色的特质。
不同性别的人在行为模式、形象和性格上都有不同的特质和评价标准。但在过去很长一段时间,不仅整个社会疏忽了,连女性自己也疏忽了这些。不少女人在事业上硕果累累,付出的却是惨痛的代价——离婚,这成了不少“女强人”的切肤之痛。
社会的进步使中国女性获得了与男人同等的竞争机会,可是我看到有的女性不甘人后,争强好胜,锋芒毕露,将自己的性别异化,完全失去女人特有的宽容柔美的品质。这种个性在职场中也许尚可,在婚恋中却屡屡碰壁,男人唯恐避之不及。看得越多,我越发觉得:专业知识或专业技术可能使你获得成功,获得某种满足感,但不一定让你拥有平和、宁静、成熟的心智,让你过上幸福的生活。
近几年,通过微信公众平台向我咨询的年轻朋友越来越多,有一个问题很突出:中国很多年轻人缺乏对婚恋的理性认识,不知道如何找伴侣,不晓得怎样谈恋爱,更不敬畏婚姻的神圣性。有的情侣交往时间不长就结婚,婚后一有矛盾就离婚,闪婚闪离的不在少数,给人生造成了很多伤痛和遗憾……我想告诉适婚男女一个观念:年轻人应该在恋爱中成长与成熟,而不要直接在婚姻中试错,后者付出的代价太大了。
选择伴侣是很关键的。我赞成“婚前选择、婚后不选择”的择偶方式及态度,婚前多交往几位异性不是坏事(注意,不是指同时交往),选定一个最适合的人走进婚姻,婚后忠于伴侣。
我发现一些年轻人婚前不主动、不选择,对自己的终身幸福缺乏明确的想法。他们要么对一段不甚满意的关系当断不断,要么对一个不太理想的对象若即若离。有些女性不懂得保护自己,未婚先孕,将自己陷入非常被动的局面。还有很多女性朋友则是蹉跎到一定岁数,在父母和社会的压力下匆匆结婚,走进围城后,才发现两个人在价值观、个性和性格、生活习惯等诸多方面都不匹配,于是开始“婚后选择”,如出轨,造成了很多情感的伤痛,甚至酿成婚姻悲剧。
因此,婚前一定要搞清楚对方和自己的内在需求,对彼此的个性特征、思维观念、价值观、人生目标、原生家庭等差异都有充分了解。同时,两人至少交往两三年,经历了恋爱蜜月期,彼此深刻理解对方。清楚地知道,不仅是对方的优点吸引你,缺点你也能包容,这时的选择才是趋于理智的。结婚不是要趁早,结婚对象一定要选择好;不是选最好的,而要选最适合的。这些道理不要等到婚后再明白,不要让事实教育自己,婚姻大事上摔跟头是很惨痛的教训。也是基于对青年男女的关怀,让他们少走弯路,我特别在此书中多次强调这些观点。希望女性朋友透过这本书有意识地学习,获得间接经验,使自己尽快成熟起来。
那么什么是成熟?我从知名作家余秋雨的著作《山居笔记》中受到启发,将“成熟”理解为:处变不惊的从容,胸有成竹的大气,与世无争的淡泊,游刃有余的厚实。我认为成熟不一定与年龄有关,就如同智慧不一定与智商有关,幸福不一定与金钱有关一样。成熟需要长时间的自我修炼和岁月的熏陶,它需要学习的积累与高情商的培养。
要想事业成功,或许主导权不全在自己手中;但要使自己心智成熟,就全看自己的修炼了。事业成功固然能获得别人的尊敬,但是一个心智成熟的人,处理事务圆通周到,更能赢得朋友的称赞与肯定。成功带来的,可能只是物质上的财富;成熟带来的,却是精神上的丰厚。所以女人不要急于追求事业成功,应先追求心智成熟。成熟会带领家庭与事业走向成功,而成功若没有成熟人格作为基石,也终将难以持久。一个心智成熟的女人会把爱、信念和美好传递给他人,在家中使孩子健康成长,丈夫积极奋发,家庭和睦温馨,在职场中受人欢迎。
我希望借由这本书,能够与女性朋友们分享一些知识与经验,在共同学习之后,能有效地优化、美化和柔化女性的心灵,为女性的生活补充养分,为生命补充钙质。期待女性朋友们都能拥有靓丽的仪表、优雅的谈吐、高贵的气质和丰富的内涵。对内能够成功地教养孩子、经营家庭;对外能够圆融地开拓事业,建构和谐的人际关系。常保持一颗积极、上进、乐观的心,在遇到困难和挫折时,能够有足够的勇气与智慧面对;在获得成功时,能够惜福、感恩和分享。
本书最终能够顺利出版,需要感谢很多人。感谢我在祖国大陆的女友孙爽,她帮我整理及增添了一些内容;感谢我从美国艺术学院毕业现正在读MBA的儿子胡平平,书中的插画是他的杰作,他用行动表达了对妈妈的支持和鼓励。还有我的年轻女友赵轩艺在插图中也给予了帮助。最后,我要特别感谢我的先生胡公明博士,多年来我为了自己热爱的教育事业,长年居住在国内,疏忽了对他的照顾,而他一直以我能最大限度地发挥自己而骄傲——这份理解令我感动和珍惜!多年来我的学生一直是我上进的推动力,在此特奉上一份由衷的谢意。
希望本书能带给你阅读的愉悦和思想的共鸣。

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Yami is committed to provide our customers with a peace of mind when purchasing from us. Most items shipped from Yamibuy.com can be returned within 30 days of receipt of shipment (For Food, Beverages, Snacks, Dry Goods, Health supplements, Fresh Grocery and Perishables Goods, within 7 days of receipt of shipment due to damages or quality issues; To ensure that every customer receives safe and high-quality products, we do not provide refunds or returns for beauty products once they have been opened or used, except in the case of quality issues; Some products may have different policies or requirements associated with them, please see below for products under special categories, or contact Yami Customer Service for further assistance).
Thank you for your understanding and support.

Learn More

Sold by Yami

Terms and Conditions of Yami E-Gift Card

If you choose “Redeem automatically” as your delivery method, your gift card balance will be reload automatically after your order has been processed successfully;

If you choose “Send to Email”as your delivery method, the card number and CVV will be sent to the email address automatically;

Any user can use the card number and CVV to redeem the gift card, please keep your gift card information safely. If you have any trouble receiving email, please contact Yami customer service;

Yami gift card can be used to purchase both Yami owned or Marketplace products;

Yami gift card will never expire;

Yami gift card balance does not have to be used up at once;

All rights reserved by Yami.

Return Policy

Gift card that has already been consumed is non-refundable.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Yami Free Shipping over $49
Yami Easy Returns
Yami Ships from United States

Shipping

  • United States

    Standard Shipping is $5.99 (Excluding Alaska & Hawaii). Free on orders of $49 or more.

    Local Express is $5.99 (Available in Parts of CA, NJ, MA & PA). Free on orders of $49 or more.

    2-Day Express (Includes Alaska & Hawaii) starts at $19.99.

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Yami Cross-store Free Shipping over $69
Yami 30-days Return

Yami-China FC

Yami has a consolidation warehouse in China which collects multiple sellers’ packages and combines to one order. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to your door. Cross-store free shipping over $69.

Return Policy

You may return products within 30 days upon receiving the products. Sellers take responsibilities for any wrong shipment or missing items. Packing needs to be unopened for any other than quality issues return. We promise to pack carefully, but because goods are taking long journey to destinations, simple damages to packaging may occur. Any damages not causing internal goods quality problems are not allowed to return. If you open the package and any quality problem is found, please contact customer service within three days after receipt of goods.

Shipping Information

Yami Consolidation Service Shipping Fee $9.99(Free shipping over $69)

Sellers in China will ship their orders within 1-2 business days once the order is placed. Packages are sent to our consolidation warehouse in China and combined there. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to you via UPS. The average time for UPS to ship from China to the United States is about 10 working days and it can be traced using the tracking number. Due to the pandemic, the delivery time may be delayed by about 5 days. The package needs to be signed by the guest. If the receipt is not signed, the customer shall bear the risk of loss of the package.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Free shipping over 69
Genuine guarantee

Shipping

Yami Consolidated Shipping $9.99(Free shipping over $69)


Seller will ship the orders within 1-2 business days. The logistics time limit is expected to be 7-15 working days. In case of customs clearance, the delivery time will be extended by 3-7 days. The final receipt date is subject to the information of the postal company.

Yami Points information

All items are excluding from any promotion or points events on Yamibuy.com

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

Yami

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Jingdong book

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Jingdong book