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Jingdong book

跟任何人都能交朋友(若水集)

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★1.一本书搞定你的交际难题,让你跟任何人都能交朋友。
★2.如何与“麻烦的人”不麻烦地相处;如何让你讨厌的人不讨厌你,让你喜欢的人也喜欢你。
★3.假面相迎OR真诚相待……掌握本书中的技巧,你就能成为一个不折不扣的交际高手。
★4.生活中,为什么有人能左右逢源、人见人爱,有人却只能站在角落里,被人孤立呢……现在的人交朋友凭的不仅仅是缘分,更多的是一种技巧和方法。
★5.《跟任何人都能交朋友》一书,从心态、形象、礼仪、口才等方面,通过一些典型事例和小故事,深入浅出、通俗易懂地告诉大家成功社交的小窍门,让你轻松就能做一个会说话、会聊天、会做人,想认识谁就认识谁的社交达人。

Content Description

生活中,为什么有人能左右逢源、人见人爱,有人却只能站在角落里,被人孤立呢……我们都知道没有人是一座孤岛,工作、生活都离不开与人交往。现在的人交朋友凭的不仅仅是缘分,更多的是一种技巧和方法。《跟任何人都能交朋友》一书,从心态、形象、礼仪、口才等方面,通过一些典型事例和小故事,深入浅出、通俗易懂地告诉大家成功社交的小窍门,让你轻松就能做一个会说话、会聊天、会做人,想认识谁就认识谁的社交达人。

Author Description

叶舟,心理学博士、心理解脱师、思维健康师。清华大学、北京大学特聘讲师,北京师范大学特聘教授,出版过《在北大听解脱之道》《在北大听包容之道》《在北大听平衡之道》《快乐老人不生病》《心理解脱师》《国学九家智慧》等研究心灵成长的书,在心灵建设上有许多独到见解,其中“一秒钟烦恼解脱术”培训课程深受学员欢迎,被誉为“心理解脱师”。

Catalogue

第一章重视外在形象,形象是与人相处的脸面
第一印象至关重要,一秒定乾坤 / 002
学会包装自己,不要自毁前程 / 004
六步打造良好第一印象 / 006
逢人三分笑,微笑常挂在脸上 / 008
打造良好外形的基本要求 / 012
良好的形象需要仪态来增色 / 015
穿衣有讲究,不可不知的着装原则 / 024
第二章修炼内在,与人不麻烦相处的品质
人格魅力是一个人的精神长相 / 028
诚实是美德,也是赢得人心的法宝 / 030
学会宽容,要有海纳百川的胸襟 / 033
给人留下有亲和力的印象 / 036
性格开朗让人容易接近 / 039
有自信的人大家都喜欢 / 040
做一个正直的人 / 043
坚强的意志能让更多的人跟随着你 / 045
人际交往中要尊重他人 / 048
与人为善,善待他人 / 050
谦虚的人在社交中受欢迎 / 052
勇于认错,有责任有担当 / 054
第三章礼多人不怪,礼节不到会惹麻烦上身
“请”字当先好办事 / 058
礼多人不怪 / 059
对朋友客套适可而止 / 061
仪表也是一种礼貌 / 064
“豪爽”不等于“粗俗” / 066
小关心大温暖 / 069
记住并利用对方的名字 / 071
以友善争取信任 / 073
第四章会说话嘴巴甜如蜜,与人相处说话当谨慎
多说“我们”拉近距离 / 080
获得对方好感的说话技巧 / 081
难听的话幽默着说谁都喜欢 / 084
常给朋友圈点赞 / 088
顺情说好话,耿直讨人嫌 / 089
背后说好话,远比当面恭维好 / 091
把握好尺度,赞美如煲汤火候很重要 / 092
赞美对方不常被提起的优点 / 095
要发自内心的赞美他人 / 098
即使奉承也要坦诚得体 / 101
不要给赞赏打折扣 / 103
聊天要聊让人感兴趣的话题 / 105
场面话,会说更要会听 / 107
从对方引以为傲之事谈起 / 110
要倾听他人而不是倾吐自己 / 111
第五章不逞一时口舌之快,不主动惹麻烦上身
争执不下时不妨沉默不语 / 116
让对方发泄情绪,不压制麻烦,麻烦自消 / 118
说服对方先要解除其心理武装 / 119
棘手的问题不妨采用“积极的鼓励法” / 122
意见不合时,谨慎表态 / 125
注意语气,讨论不等于争吵 / 128
苛责于人,为众所弃 / 129
变“命令”为公意,使人心悦诚服 / 131
用“忠告”来说服对方 / 132
得饶人处且饶人的原则 / 134
给对方留条后路 / 137
第六章懂点人情世故,内方外圆处处受欢迎
能方能圆,所向无敌 / 142
以方做事,以圆做人 / 144
严于律己,宽以待人 / 148
用好方圆一路畅通 / 150
圆才会通 / 151
大事讲原则,小事会变通 / 152
抓住“内外”巧“方圆” / 156
圆场也要会“圆” / 161
第七章人际关系浅点就好,不要见人就掏心掏肺
对人对事不要太认真 / 168
学会“装”,藏住心思 / 170
交浅不可言深 / 174
适度距离才有“美” / 178
事无不可对人言,逢人只能说三分 / 181
办公室里的“友谊尺度” / 183
好朋友也要把握一个“度”字 / 185
与人交朋友,不可不防“小人” / 187
第八章人际交往有雷区,不要犯了大忌
忌当着矮子说矮话 / 192
忌讳经济往来糊涂账 / 196
忌为所欲为,不讲礼节 / 198
忌讳斤斤计较的行为 / 201
忌“哪壶不开提哪壶” / 204
忌任意交朋结友,没有防人之心 / 206
忌“人怕出名猪怕壮” / 212
忌揭人短,顾全对方面子 / 215

Book Abstract

交浅不可言深
交浅不可言深,就是指对交情浅的人不能说知心话。人与人之间相处最忌交浅言深。这种情形如果发生在办公室,它所造成的负面影响不能小看。
如果你刚到一个新的工作环境,同事对你表示友善的态度,约你和大家一起出外午餐,有说有笑,无所不谈。但其中一名同事可能跟你最谈得来,乐意把公司的种种问题以及每一位同事的性格尽情地告诉你。你本来对公司的人事一无所知,自然会很珍惜这样一位“知无不言,言无不尽”的同事,彼此谈得相当投机。你开始降低自己的防卫,看到什么不顺眼、不服气的事情,也与这位同事倾吐,甚至批评其他同事不是之处,借以发泄心中的郁闷。
如果对方不是一个喜欢传播是非的人,如果他站在你的立场上忠心支持你,问题自然不大。但你了解这位同事有多少?你凭什么可以判断他不会把你的话传播给别人?要知道“来说是非者,便是是非人”。你怎么知道你与对方不过数月的交情,比他与其他同事的感情来得深厚?为这一时之快,你把不该说的说出来,对方便抓住了你的“小辫子”,或者说,对方的手上便有了一张打赢你的王牌,随时随地都可以把你曾批评过其他同事的话公之于众,那时你在公司还有立足之地吗?
与领导者之间更不要交浅言深,要注意说话的分寸。当领导欲提升某职员而向你征询意见时,面对领导对你如此“器重”,你该怎样做?面对这种情况,请三思而后言,因为你的表现可以影响你的人际关系。
如果你觉得这位职员十分突出,你说“他是个很好的助手”这类评语则显得太空泛了,领导会认为你在敷衍他。你应该列出这位职员的一些具体的例子以辅助说明你的论点,这样才显出你是认真对待这个问题。比如你可以说:“他往往能说服一些固执的顾客去尝试一些新的交易形式。”这样一来,领导自然会觉得你不是在有意敷衍他。
如果领导考察的这个人将来在晋升后的职位上表现出色,那么你的功劳也不小啊。
要是你认为此人颇为能干,但有些方面仍不足时,你可以先说一下他的优点,然后有所保留地说:“如果他在某某方面再努力提高一些更好。”这样一来,你做到对他的能力进行客观评价,总比你说他能胜任新职要好,因为,你没有把话说得太满,如果以后他的表现令人失望,也与你无关。
若你觉得此人根本不胜任,你不妨这样说:“我跟他接触不多,不能妄断呀!”这样一来,领导自然是明白,从你这里是不会得出任何有效的信息的,他也便不会多问。
总之,虽然跟领导交谈要坦诚,但对于这类敏感事件,还是要把握好“度”,不要随便地打开天窗说亮话为好。因为,如果稍不注意,便会让自己陷入“得罪人”的境地。
此外,面对诉苦的同事时,也应该做到交浅不可言深。同事间因为夹杂了利害关系、人事关系,今天的好搭档,明天却有可能变成对手。所以为了保护自己,最好别轻易将感情放到同事身上,只要合乎礼貌,一般的人情就可以了。
比如,当某同事向你诉苦时,你不妨这样做:依然表示关心对方,但不要单独表示关心。也就是说,对方找到你,你明知他有大量“苦水”,你也可以多邀一位同事一起去开导他。对方讲的是私事,倒不妨客观地给他分析,但提意见时则避重就轻。“我以为这件事不一定是好事,但我的意见并不全面,奉劝你重新将整件事分析,再决定对策。”若对方烦的是公事,那么你只宜当听众了,以免卷入无谓的漩涡。
那么,在不小心的情况下交浅言深了怎么办呢?
比如:你与某甲吃午饭,你觉得某甲与某乙很友好,所以你以为对方一定对某乙的事了如指掌,于是说话时没经过大脑,很随便地将有关某乙的小秘密泄露了出来。你对某甲说:“某乙那天碰钉子,真是倒霉!”对方瞪着双眼反问:“究竟发生了什么事呢?”当下,你明白碰钉子的是你自己,如何“补救”?
你可以这样答复对方的问题:“我是说某乙那天迟到却碰巧遇到上司罢了。”随便找一个小事谈谈,装作一副漫不经心的样子,然后赶快另找一个话题,将对方的注意力分散。
这种错误,其实只有你自己知晓,所以没有必要慌乱。避重就轻地一带而过是最好的办法。这样,即使事情搞大了,起码泄露的人不是你!不只是在职场中要做到交浅不言深,在生活中,有些时候也要做到交浅不言深,你做个乖巧的听众即可。
比如,你的两位相识由亲密恋人宣告各走各的路,而他俩又分别向你诉苦,数落对方的不是。本来,别人的情史跟你无关,但碍于同是相识,你是没有理由掩耳跑开的。这时候,你不妨做个听众,只是最好别做唯一的听众,因为这样的话,容易让自己陷于困境。
总之,交浅不言深就是要你在遇到一些特殊的交际情况时,为了保护自己和当事人,做到与交际对象保持一定的距离,不轻易表达意见。
……
Introduction

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Brand Jingdong book
Brand Origin China

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Jingdong book