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Jingdong book

当孩子不顺我心时

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Jingdong book

当孩子不顺我心时

Name: 当孩子不顺我心时
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3113002531
Price: 41.47 USD
Availability: OutOfStock

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Content Description

《当孩子不顺我心时》分成了两大部分。前半部分为“我是孩子篇”，对积极学习法的第一核心要素“了解并理解孩子”做了详细说明。通读第一章“没什么特别才能”与第二章“做什么都不满意”，就会发现问题不在于孩子，而在于父母看待孩子时的扭曲视角。后半部分为“孩子学习篇”，介绍了积极学习法的第二核心要素“了解学习的基本原理，才能成为孩子坚实的后盾”。通过第三章“不爱去上学”、第四章“对学习完全没兴趣”、第五章“虽然努力了但成绩还是没提高”，介绍了帮助孩子学习的各种对策与适用于孩子的实际方法等。如果父母能以积极的心态仔细观察孩子的学习，肯定不难知道该怎样帮助孩子，什么样的方法才是适合孩子的方法。

Author Description

郑恩珠，毕业于韩国梨花女子大学，并取得了教育心理学学士及硕士学位，曾就职于韩国行为科学研究所心理咨询研究部及儿童心理研究部研究院，担任过韩国广播公司广播翻译作家、迪士尼广播翻译作家、西江大学广播学院研究生部讲师等，并取得了美国伊利诺伊州立大学教学与教育课程及教育学博士学位。
在韩国及美国培养子女，把三个子女全部送入了以康奈尔大学（Cornell University）为首的美国著名大学。
现为美国雪城大学（Syracuse University）儿童学与教育学教授，致力于儿童心理咨询、儿童教育讲座及教师资质、儿童发育等领域的研究。

Catalogue

序
没有跟我想法一样的孩子

第一章没看出有什么特别的才能
遗传因子与环境的奇妙结合体——我的孩子
挖掘出孩子天生的才能，很容易确定孩子的方向
别自信地认为自己十分了解孩子
没有现实基础的宏大梦想毫无意义
不要错失引导孩子的机会
领导力不是天生的，是可以培养的
积极肯定的经验，有助于孩子的头脑发育
按照孩子特有的尺度称赞与责备
特别提示：让孩子摆脱狭隘．拥有更广阔的视野

第二章孩子做什么都不满意
孩子们大部分都是以自我为中心的
否定的示范会强化孩子否定的行为
孩子的自制力，是要由父母训练的
孩子思考的力量，由父母决定
不想让孩子成为笨蛋的话，就不要叫孩子笨蛋
想要纠正孩子的行为，首先找到问题的关键
即便是琐碎的家务事，对孩子来说也是有益的经验
即便是兄弟，所处的情况也截然不同
以家庭为单位一起行动，孩子的心里会更踏实
制订家庭内部规定，按照规定执行
特别提示：你完全可以成为一个好妈妈

第三章一点都不想去上学
父母的信任决定孩子的成就
对孩子保持较高的期望值
重要的不是学校，而是学习的质量
孩子说上学没意思，肯定是有理由的
孩子特别想要得到认可，说明他很孤独
孩子在朋友中特别受欢迎是有原因的
帮助孩子保持成功的人际关系的方法
培养努力的孩子，而不是聪明的孩子
在尽可能的范围内，给予孩子选择权
特别提示：成为严格的教练，狂热的支持者，智慧的导师

第四章心思不在学习上
时间管理做不好，学习也不能好
……
第五章努力地学习，但是成绩却没提高

Book Abstract

即便目的相同，也要根据孩子的个性使用不同的方法
有一个性格非常内向的小学生，他腼腆安静，很怕在众人面前表达自己的想法，却可以跟好友絮絮叨叨说个不停。妈妈很担心，“我们家孩子表达能力太差……”，后来就把孩子送到了演讲培训班。一般来讲，学习了演讲之后，孩子的自信心会得到强化，思维也会清晰明了，可以提升个人的语言表达能力。可是，对于这个内向的孩子来说，演讲却是大大的煎熬，需要强烈的抑扬顿挫与夸张的肢体语言在许多人面前大喊大叫，让孩子觉得很恐惧也很疲惫，没有足够的信心做好这件事。最终孩子的表达能力不但没有提升，反而开始恐惧学习演讲，其他人在各种各样的演讲比赛中屡屡捧得奖杯而归，自己却次次空手而返，这让孩子变得更加内向。
这么说来这个孩子在演讲培训班中学到的到底是什么呢？自卑感、对于演讲的厌恶、对强迫自己学习演讲的父母的怨恨，这与妈妈期待的自信心或是表达能力相去甚远。
这种事情是很常见的，因为父母并不了解孩子。孩子在年纪还小的时候，自身个性并不稳定，目标也不明确，大部分孩子都是在父母提供的环境中，毫无选择地生活着，很难有机会表达自己的个性。如果能用心观察、理解孩子，很多问题是可以避免的。如果孩子天生内向，孩子想学什么就教什么，通过这样的模式对他进行个性化的教育。事例中的妈妈如果能认可、尊重孩子的个性，并以此为出发点，就不会送孩子去学习演讲，而是会寻找更好的方法。
为了提高孩子的表达能力，即使目标相同，也需要根据孩子的个性选择不同的方法。举例来讲，可以让孩子写出自己的想法，并在家庭成员面前表达出来，或者让孩子把自己写的故事用有趣的形式表演出来。对于内向的孩子来说，能站在别人面前发出自己的声音，已经是非常了不起的挑战了，这与生俱来的性格，与其改变，不如培养成与众不同的个性
很多父母都希望“我们家孩子要是成为这样的孩子就好了”，却对“我们家孩子到底是个什么样的孩子”漠不关心。
如果孩子没有某方面的天赋，即使父母努力教育，提供更好的条件，成功的机率也不会很高。
怕水或者再怎么教也不能漂在水上的孩子，还有必要去学习游泳吗？每当去学钢琴的时候就觉得肚子疼，可能孩子就不适合学钢琴。让不喜欢运动的孩子去学跆拳道或者芭蕾，或者让活泼好动的孩子一动不动地下象棋或者写书法，完全是出于父母的期望而强加给孩子，不会取得任何成效，只会浪费很多宝贵的时间。
天生的倾向不是需要完善的缺点，而是需要培养的个性。即便不符合父母的价值观与期望，也不能把这些倾向看成是孩子的缺点。希望父母宽容地接受孩子的个性，并在此基础上更好地引导孩子走向成功。提高孩子成功的机率，培养有天赋的孩子，没有父母的督促和提醒，他们也能很高兴地去做。这就是给父母的第一个任务。
希望从今天起能更加客观地看待并细心观察孩子。
……

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Jingdong book

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