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Jingdong book

好爸爸胜过好老师之学在中学

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谁说中学一定要苦读?著名教育专家东子的《好爸爸胜过好老师之学在中学》以自己女儿的教育经历作为依据,用最具说服力的案例,让家长们明白,好爸爸该如何让初中的孩子既能学好又能玩好,成为一名快乐的中学生。
Content Description

初中的孩子就该每天埋首在堆地比人还高的作业中么?初中的孩子早恋了家长该怎么告诉他们爱情的道理?初中的孩子成绩不够好,家长该怎么办?著名教育专家东子所著的《好爸爸胜过好老师之学在中学》却要告诉初中孩子的家长们:成绩并不是初中孩子的一切,中学生也可以玩得科学有用,中学生更可以学出智慧。
东子的《好爸爸胜过好老师之学在中学》以自己女儿的教育经历作为依据,用最具说服力的案例,让家长们明白,好爸爸该如何让初中的孩子既能学好又能玩好,成为一名快乐的中学生。

Author Description

东子,原名范景宇,“父亲教育”和“快乐教育”的积极倡导者和践行者,2009年中国十大最具影响力家教作家之一。现居长春,从事教育研究与写作,兼任中国教育学会家庭教育委员会理事、团中央青少年研究人才库专家、全国妇联家庭教育专家团专家等多种社会职务。从事青少年心理咨询和家庭教育研究20年来,出版《好爸爸胜过好老师》、《求求你,表扬我》、《家有中等生》、《做个80后好家长》、《好爸爸,好孩子》、《快乐教育18法》等著作30余部。应邀在北京、上海、广州、重庆、西安、南京、大连、青岛等100多个城市作相关讲座1000多场。并应邀接受中央电视台少儿频道、湖南卫视、中央人民广播电台等多家媒体的访谈。人民日报、中国教育报、中国青年报等海内外800多家媒体报道过东子的教育理念和教子经验。东子用自己独创的教育理念,使女儿范姜国一边玩边学,3年半读完小学,两年半读完初中,不满13岁上高中,不到14岁已出版3部畅销书,且玩出了一个“品行好、能力强、分数高”的“三好学生”。
Catalogue

开篇 东子关于家庭教育的思索
我所接受的家庭教育
我该做个怎样的爸爸
女儿该怎样成长成才
第一章 好爸爸要让孩子玩出智慧
上中学也能玩
放学后把时间留给玩耍
做个会玩的中学生
看电视既是娱乐也是学习
上网益处多
阅读讲究保质保量
“乐过中学”并不困难
第二章 好爸爸要让孩子学得科学
多参加社团活动
鼓励孩子勤学习,多思索
善于学习比拿高分更重要
学习态度决定学习方向
成绩不是学习的唯一
考低分可能也是一种进步
学以致用才是最终的目的
不是每个孩子都适合请家教
“中等生”也很优秀
大学不是终点站
第三章 好爸爸总是能够尊重孩子
不要查看孩子的日记、短信
不要辱骂孩子
要保护好孩子的自尊心
要和孩子平等交流
对孩子的期望要切合实际
第四章 好爸爸会理解孩子
其实孩子也不想撒谎
请让孩子的爱好继续下去
换位思考拉近与孩子的距离
不要总盯着孩子的不足
爱情不可怕
第五章 好爸爸能时常给孩子鼓励
应理性看待孩子成绩下降
发现孩子的闪光点
做孩子最好的支持者
让孩子的希望发芽
安慰是孩子最好的鼓励
赞赏让孩子更阳光
第六章 好爸爸要做孩子的好老师
做孩子的好榜样
要给孩子好品质
让孩子树立理想
要科学地满足孩子的需求
要告诉孩子如何取舍
要及时为孩子分忧解愁
让孩子用自己的脚去走人生路
孩子中学期间的教育重点及爸爸的主要角色
附录 范姜国一11—15岁成长记录
Book Abstract

上中学也能玩走过小学,孩子迈进了初中。进入初中,随着课业的增多,属于孩子的玩耍时间相对就少了,但并不是说,孩子们从此就不能玩了。有些爸爸在孩子小学时就限制他玩耍,到了初中,这种限制就更加明显了。
我们先看看一个孩子给东子的来信:老师您好,我是一名初中二年级的学生,最近正在读您女儿的书——《范姜国一的快乐初中》。一边看一边感慨:同样是花季女孩,却有着完全不同的生活状态,如果把我们比作小鸟的话,她便是住在大草原的百灵,我是生活在笼子里的画眉。我多么想飞出去看看外面的世界呀!可惜我没有她那么开通的父母。我并不是说我的父母不好,只是他们的爱,就像蚕茧一样束缚着我,让我透不过气来。
他们对我的爱就是整天看着我学习,每天唠叨的也是学习学习,说什么上了中学就不能再玩了,要全身心地投入到学习中去,现在简直快把我当成学习机器了。他们不仅不让我在家玩,更限制我出去和同学玩。
一年前,因为爸爸工作调动的缘故,我们全家搬到了这座陌生的城市。
在这一年里,我对这个城市的了解,依然只停留在学校到家的路上,两点一线的生活是枯燥的,可是我却无法逃出这条线。爸爸妈妈从不允许我到外面去玩,有时周末和同学约好一起出去玩儿,可爸爸妈妈总是一个不行两个不让,好像人家会把我拐走一样……从来信中,我们可以看出,这位家长不让孩子出去玩,主要有两个原因:一是怕影响学习,二是担心安全问题,这也是大多数不让孩子出去玩的家长的共同想法。
我们先说说学习。长久以来,我们的家长把“家庭教育”定义为“文化学习”,一提教育孩子,张口闭口谈的无不是与学习有关的话题。而玩与“教育”似乎不搭界,并且在大部分人眼里,学习就要争分夺秒,玩是浪费时间,会影响学习的。
其实,玩耍虽说是一种娱乐性的活动,但也具备一定的教育功能。首先,它教会孩子认知。孩子从出生那一天起,就开始在玩耍中认识和感知世界,在玩耍中学会语言交流,懂得人际交往。可以说,玩耍是孩子理解人生的开始;其次,它教会孩子做事。比如很多游戏需要和他人配合才能获胜,在游戏的过程中,孩子会懂得合作的重要性;但凡游戏都有规则,不遵守规则那游戏就无法顺利进行下去,在游戏的过程中,孩子养成了遵守规则的习惯,日后生活中就有了遵守社会规则的意识。
玩耍能提高孩子的实践能力、解决问题的能力、模仿能力、创造能力、思维能力,甚至还可以开发智力,促进大脑发育,提高注意力、观察力、想象力、协调能力等。
接下来再和家长聊聊孩子的安全问题。
作为家长,除了保证孩子的吃穿,就是担心孩子的安全了,无论是玩耍还是做其他事情,安全教育都要贯穿始终。但任何事情都有个度,不告诉孩子具体的安全防范措施,只是一味地禁锢,那是不科学不明智的做法,所以,希望如信中那样的家长要三思。
目前社会治安中,确实存在一些问题,中小学生遭到不法分子侵害的情况也时有发生。所以,一定要让孩子学会提高各种侵害的警惕性。同时也要树立自我防范意识,掌握一定的安全防范技能,增强自身的防范能力。
当孩子出去玩耍时,如果孩子小,我们要告诉他们别让器具(器材、玩具)伤了,别跟陌生人走等安全事项。如果孩子大一些了,比如像信中这个孩子这么大了,我们要告诉孩子不要和陌生人搭腔,不要单独行动,最好和同伴们在一起;不要接受陌生人的钱财、礼物、食品;不独自往返偏僻的街巷、黑暗的地下通道,不独自一人去偏远的地方游玩;不搭乘陌生人的便车,不接受陌生人的同行邀请或做客等。
如信中这个孩子的家长,有些家长在孩子读小学时,还给他们一些玩耍时间,可上中学后就看得紧了。在得知我女儿是“玩过小学”的,经常有媒体和家长问我:小学可以玩过,但上了中学可就没那么容易了,到了中学还能玩吗?我就告诉大家,依依上了中学当然就不能像在小学时那样玩了,课程多了,要学的内容也多了,需要占用的时间势必也多,所以玩的时间要逐渐减少,但是我依然可以保证:依依仍然是中国中学生中玩耍时间较长的一个。
即便现在我的女儿已经上高中了,她每周依然有足够的时间玩耍,比如在家上网、看电视、玩各种棋牌、室外的体育运动项目,以及与同学相约出游……我女儿与信中女孩同龄,每周我都让依依出去玩,有时是和三五个小姐妹相约游乐、唱歌,有时是自己去购物、逛书店。不管是和别人出去玩耍,还是自己出去闲逛,我都告诉她相关安全事项。由于自小对她进行了安全教育,所以孩子每次都是高高兴兴而去,平平安安而归。
这么大的孩子如果和同伴出去玩,家长一定要了解:都有哪些同伴,去哪里玩,玩什么项目,并要和孩子约定好回来的时间。另外,除了自己孩子的联系方式,孩子同伴的手机号也要记下来,以便及时与孩子联系。
当然,支持孩子玩耍也并非毫无原则,如果孩子的安全有潜在隐患,要理直气壮地和孩子说“不”——千万不要让孩子和社会上的不良青少年搅在一起,也不要单独和异性伙伴出去玩耍,还要告诉孩子一些不适合这个年龄段参与的活动。
联合国教科文组织提出,“教育应围绕四种基本学习加以安排:学会认知,即获得理解的手段;学会做事,以便能够对自己所处的环境产生影响;学会共同生活,以便与他人一道参加相关活动,并在这些活动中进行合作;最后是学会生存,这是前三种学习成果的表现形式”。可以说,这四种学习都是可以通过玩耍得到的,可我们很多家长却忽略了玩耍对孩子成长的积极意义。
……

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Jingdong book