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Jingdong book

正面管教

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Jingdong book

正面管教

Name: 正面管教
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3113017661
Price: 27.02 USD
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没有哪个父母不为了孩子而竭尽全力，但最美好的愿望却不一定给孩子带来好的结果。自1981年《正面管教》第一版出版以来，《正面管教》已经成为了管教孩子的“黄金准则”，《正面管教》被翻译成16种语言，在美国销量超过400万册，在美国之外的国家销量超过200万册。自1987年第一版修订之后，每10年修订一次，《正面管教》根据英文原版的第三次修订版（2006年出版）翻译，该版首印数为70多万册。
让数百万孩子、家长和老师受益终身的经典之作。自1981年《正面管教》第一版出版以来，《正面管教》已经成为了管教孩子的“黄金准则”。

Content Description

《正面管教》中告诉21世纪的父母和老师们：正面管教是一种既不惩罚也不娇纵的管教孩子的方法……孩子只有在一种和善而坚定的气氛中，才能培养出自律、责任感、合作以及自己解决问题的能力，才能学会使他们受益终身的社会技能和生活技能，才能取得良好的学业成绩……如何运用正面管教方法使孩子获得这种能力。
惩罚和娇纵为什么对孩子都不好，并且不管用？
怎样用既不惩罚又不娇纵的正面管教方法培养孩子受益终身的良好品质？
如何用正面管教方法自动消除孩子的不良行为？
如何赢得孩子与父母和老师的合作？
如何消解大人与孩子之间的权力之争？
“超级父母”对孩子会有什么危害？
各种性格的父母会对孩子有什么正反两方面的影响？父母如何发挥自己性格中的优点，避免缺点给孩子造成的不良影响？
老师们如何避免对学生造成管教问题？
从3岁到青春期的十几岁的孩子以及孩子的父母和老师，都将因为《正面管教》而彻底改变家里和学校的气氛，改变自己的人生。

Author Description

简·尼尔森（Jane Nelsen），教育学博士，杰出的心理学家、教育家，加利福尼亚婚姻和家庭执业心理冶疗师，美国“正面管教协会”的创始人。她是7个孩予的母亲，18个孩子的奶奶或外祖母。曾经担任过10年的有关儿童发展的小学、大学心理咨询教师。她是18本著作的作者或合著者（被翻译成超过16种语言，在美国销量超过400万册，征美国之外的国家销量超过200万册），是众多育儿及养育杂志的顾问。
本书根据英文原版的第三次修订版翻译，该版首印数为70多万册。

Catalogue

译者的话：我为什么要翻译这本书
序言及致谢
引言
第1章正面的方法
当心！是什么在起作用！
如果既不严厉也不娇纵，那该怎么办？
和善与坚定并行
相反相吸：当一个家长和善，而另一个坚定时
帮助孩子体验到归属感和自我价值感（心灵纽带）
是否长期有效？
教给孩子具备良好品格所需要的有价值的社会和生活技能
正面管教之旅
回顾
·正面管教工具
·问题

第2章几个基本概念
自尊：一个容易造成错觉的概念
“赢得”孩子
我们言行背后的感觉
阿德勒的基本概念
·1.孩子是社会人
·2.行为以目的为导向
·3.孩子的首要目的是追求归属感和价值感
·4.一个行为不当的孩子，是一个丧失信心的孩子
·5.社会责任感或集体感
·6.平等
·7.犯错误是学习的好时机
·8.要确保把爱的讯息传递给孩子
回顾
·正面管教工具
·问题

第3章出生顺序的重要性
排行最大的孩子
排行最小的孩子
排行中间的孩子
独生子
一些例外
家庭氛围
运用出生顺序的知识来鼓励孩子
出生顺序和婚姻
出生顺序和执教风格
小组练习
回顾
·问题

第4章重新看待不良行为
责任感不等于责难或羞辱
什么是不良行为？
帮助识别错误目的和观念的线索
·第一条线索
·第二条线索
对每一种错误目的的有效鼓励方式
·寻求过度关注
·寻求权力
·报复
·自暴自弃
目的揭示法
失望行为的不同表现
对待十几岁的孩子
回顾
·正面管教工具
·问题

第5章当心逻辑后果
自然后果
决定你自己要做什么
逻辑后果
转移孩子的行为
逻辑后果与行为的错误目的
转变态度的必要性
让孩子们事先参与
回顾
·正面管教工具
·问题

第6章关注于解决问题
积极的“暂停”
启发式问题
第7章有效地运用鼓励
第8章班会
第9章家庭会议
第10章你的性格对孩子性格的影响
第11章综合应用
第12章家里和教室里的爱与欢乐

Book Abstract

第1章
正面的方法
如果你是一位老师，已经教了很多年的书，你是否还记得孩子们会整整齐齐地坐好，规规矩矩地听老师的话？如果你是一位家长，你是否还记得孩子不敢和父母顶嘴？也许你不记得有这样的事，但你的爷爷奶奶却可能会记得。
现在的许多家长和老师倍感沮丧，因为孩子们的行为已不再像他们自已在当年“过去的好时光”中那样了。这到底是为什么？为什么现在的孩子没有在以前的孩子们中普遍存在的那种责任感和上进心呢？
可能的解释有很多，比如家庭破裂、电视泛滥、电子游戏、妈妈全职工作等等。可这些因素在当今社会中是如此普遍，假如它们真的能够解释孩子给我们造成的挑战的话，那我们简直就该绝望了。（事实上，我们都知道，许多单亲家庭和双职工家庭，因为采用了有效的养育技巧，他们在孩子的管教方面做得相当出色。）对此，鲁道夫·德雷克斯有不同的见解。
他认为，二十世纪中期以来发生的一系列重大的社会变化是造成孩子们的变化的直接原因。这给了我们解决问题的希望。因为一旦我们能够意识到这些社会变化以及所造成的影响，我们就能够积极地采取一些措施加以弥补；在这个过程中，我们同时还可以消除很多人认为的因为家庭破裂、电视泛滥、电子游戏以及妈妈全职工作等原因所造成的一些问题。
第一个重大社会变化是，今天的成年人已经不再给孩子树立服从和顺从的榜样了。成年人忘记了自己的所作所为已经不再像“过去的好时光”那样了。还记得以前不论爸爸说什么妈妈都很顺从，或者至少表面上顺从吗？因为那是当时的文化所要求的。在那“过去的好时光”，很少有人会质疑“爸爸说了算”的观念。
但是，由于人权运动的发展，这一传统成为了历史。德雷克斯指出：“当父亲失去了对母亲的控制权时，父母双方也就失去了对孩子的控制权。”这就意味着妈妈不再给孩子树立顺从的榜样。这是社会的进步。“过去的好时光”中有很多事情其实并不真就那么好。
那时，顺从的样板随处可见。爸爸顺从不认同自己观点的上司，以免丢掉饭碗。少数族群以牺牲人格尊严为代价，屈居于顺从的角色。而今天，所有的少数族群都在积极地争取自己的权利，谋求完全的平等和尊严。我们很难再看到有谁愿意继续扮演卑下和顺从的角色。孩子们只是在追随他们周围的榜样。他们也希望得到平等和尊重。
重要的是要注意到，平等并不意味着完全相同。四个25分硬币和一张一元纸币完全不一样，但却等值。孩子显然不能拥有那些基于更丰富的经验、更熟练的技能。
……

Introduction

正面管教是以阿尔弗雷德·阿德勒和鲁道夫·德雷克斯①的思想为基础的。我虽然未能有幸成为这两位伟人的学生，但我愿意向那些把阿德勒的方法介绍给我的人们致谢。它改变了我的人生，并且极大地改善了我在家里和教室里与孩子们的关系。
我是7个孩子的母亲，现在已经是20个孩子的祖母。很多年以前，那时我还只有5个孩子，其中包括两个十几岁的孩子，我被那些像今天的很多父母体验到的同样的孩子养育问题弄得灰心丧气。我不知道怎么才能让孩子们别再打架、能把玩具收起来、能做他们自己答应要做的家务。我在晚上让他们睡觉时也有问题——进而是早上起床的问题。他们不想进浴缸——然后又不想出来。
每天早晨都痛苦无比，因为如果没有不停的提醒和争斗，似乎就无法让他们出门去上学。在放学之后，就要为做作业、做家务接着打仗。我的“锦囊妙计”包括威胁、吼叫和打。这些办法既令我厌恶，也让孩子们厌恶——而且不管用。我为孩子们同样的不良行为一而再、再而三地威胁、吼叫、打。

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