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Jingdong book

好孩子需要“坏”父母

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Jingdong book

好孩子需要“坏”父母

Name: 好孩子需要“坏”父母
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3113020001
Price: 17.35 USD
Availability: OutOfStock

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疼爱不等于溺爱父母不是孩子的“奴隶” 颠覆中国的教子理念整治家庭“小暴君” 疼爱不等于溺爱，家教需要“坏”父母

Content Description

一种影响深远的变化正在进行——成为父母究竟意味着什么？有什么是我们可以改变的？又有什么是我们必须改变的？以往我们用在孩子身上的教育观念已经过时……许多父母都想做“好”父母，想成为孩子最好的朋友。然而这样做的结果却事与愿违：一个在外人眼中和谐美满的家庭，背后的真相却是，孩子成了家里的“小暴君”，父母则沦落为无助弱势的“傀儡”和“奴隶”。孩子们总是想试探，父母的容忍底线在哪里，他们的捣蛋行为可以过分到什么程度。如果这种情况愈演愈烈，父母一味纵容宽恕，对孩子不加以管束，孩子未来的发展可能会很可怕，因为孩子可能缺少必要的坚韧品质，甚至基本的人生观、价值观都可能出现偏差。

Author Description

提尔·巴斯蒂安，德国医学博士、出版家、作家。1949年出生于慕尼黑，《当代心理》杂志的撰稿人。著有多本关于心理学和社会心理学的专业书籍。曾结合自身经验为人们进行心理治疗和培训。现居住在德国和奥地利边境的阿尔卑斯山区。

Catalogue

前言第一章以前的状况：太多没有原则的妥协第二章为什么孩子终究还是需要父母第三章存在辈分之间的战争吗？第四章父母：孩子带来的恐惧第五章孩子：不得不爱父母第六章不是玩伴，而是父母第七章孩子最好的朋友后记

Book Abstract

家长们这种内疚的心理十分常见，但是引起他们内疚的原因并不一定都是因为他们忙于工作。除却耗去父母们大多数时间的工作之外，可以造成他们内疚的原因还有很多，而这些原因，一部分是父母自身的原因，另一部分则是社会因素，比如现今社会对父母越来越高的期望和要求。我们注意到一件事情，当我们越是有计划地刻意地去做某件事的时候，事情往往越是会有出人意料的发展；当我们发现自己没有达到预定要求和标准的时候，我们会感到羞愧甚至难过。如果“摩登完美父母”有一个行为标准的话，如果这些标准以文字形式被固定下来的话（还有哪个已经为人父母的人可以信誓旦旦地说，自己的行为完全没有受到这些标准的影响），父母对自己的要求将会在无形中被提得越来越高。然而就是这样的一些父母，他们在实际生活中，常常感到沮丧，因为这些标准并不能使他们一直完全满意。“重新考虑该如何对待孩子，及时改变对待孩子的态度和方法，永远都不会嫌迟，并且也永远都不会多余。”在德国，曾经有一本流传甚广的有关儿童教育的专著，这本书最大的特色是它不同于当时流俗的一些作品，只凭借热门话题吸引看客前来购买，相反，书中叙述的内容真的具有一定的道理，作者甚至还首次提出了某些观点：“你们的孩子从来都不是天使，但是你们却可以成为越来越出色的父母，可以做得比以往任何时候都好。”①这句话富含了人类的基本伦理道德，隐藏在这句话后的信息也很明了：做父母的永远都别想休息或怠惰，为了成为完美的父母，他们必须坚持不懈地、持续不断地努力。当他们的修为达到和上帝一样的水准时，让人满意的结果才有可能出现，尽管这种情况出现的概率近似为零。

Introduction

马丁与我的儿子亚历山大同岁。他们6岁的那年夏天，有一次马丁来找亚历山大玩。晚上五点左右的时候，马丁的妈妈来接他回家。马丁的妈妈是一个讨人喜欢的、略显内向的年轻女性。我对她的了解并不多，只是大略地知道，她是一名职业女性，她的收入维持了家里的大部分开销。而马丁很长时间以来都不愿意回家。那天我带着他走出儿童游戏室，爬上楼梯，送他到家门口，一路上他的情绪特别低落。其实，马丁和我家亚历山大认识的时间并不长，平时的来往也不是很多，但是每当他们一起搭积木、玩模型的时候，他俩就会完全沉浸在游戏的世界里，在那个世界中陪伴他们的只有那些积木和形状各异的模型。要将他们从游戏的世界中拉出来，自然不是那么容易。在家门口，我和马丁的妈妈聊了一会儿，马丁和亚历山大马上就都要去小学报名了，所以我们自然有话题可聊。马丁的情绪还是一直很差，不停地闹着小别扭，这让马丁的妈妈有些尴尬。她用手臂环着马丁的肩膀，但马丁却立即对这个亲呢的动作表现出了极大的排斥，他高高地撅着嘴巴，猛地一脚踢向了妈妈的小腿。随后还一直重复这个动作，并且还越来越快。马丁一直没有停下来，甚至连我都制止不了他。“现在立刻给我住手，不准再踢你的妈妈了！”最后我不得不大声吼道。

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Jingdong book

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