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Jingdong book

“懒”妈妈未必不是好妈妈(权威珍藏版)

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学会放手,学会给孩子自由的成长空间。
轻松面对孩子的教养问题,做一个轻松快乐的妈妈。
Content Description

《“懒”妈妈未必不是好妈妈》,本书内容旨在科学地解释孩子的行为,帮助妈妈们正确理解孩子行为背后的语言,从而能采取正确而有效的教育方式。
Catalogue

第一章 理解与尊重,才是对孩子真正的爱
孩子更渴望妈妈的理解
蹲下来建议和商量,而不是站着命令
妈妈的包容是给孩子特别的爱
不要随意闯入孩子的“隐秘世界”
孩子撒谎要及时纠正
永远不要取笑孩子
争吵是解决问题最糟糕的办法
别用“语言暴力”来打击孩子

第二章 给孩子足够的时间,让孩子放慢脚步
妈妈平常心,孩子不平常
揠苗助长反而不长
孩子学技艺,兴趣最重要
充分挖掘孩子的潜能
分数不是孩子的命根
知识和技能比文凭更重要
催逼孩子反而会起反作用
孩子成绩好就是优秀吗

第三章 放开你的限制,让孩子尽情探寻世界
听话的孩子一定是好孩子吗
允许孩子做一些出格的举动
授之以鱼,不如授之以渔
别做孩子的拐棍,让他自己走
孩子的事情让孩子自己做主
让孩子多吃点儿苦
尊重孩子的小秘密
让孩子自觉加入锻炼的行列中
鼓励孩子勇敢地表现和表达自己

第四章 爱得太深,反而是一种伤害
你不可能庇护孩子一辈子
磨难是孩子成长所需的养料
松开手,让孩子自己来
真正的爱是不溺爱、不放纵
让孩子为自己的言行负责
……
第五章 妈妈懂得赏识,孩子信心十足
第六章 把孩子当朋友,别跟孩子摆架子
第七章 管好你的情绪,孩子有错很正常
第八章 你的孩子是最棒的,没必要跟别人比
第九章 做好引路人,带孩子走到人群中间去
Book Abstract

揠苗助长反而不长真正的智慧并非是要求孩子做一些看似美好的事,而是让孩子顺其自然地成长,懂得适度要求,量力而行。
不知道是因为社会竞争的激烈,还是人们争强好胜的内心使然,现代社会中,几乎每个妈妈都希望自己的孩子能“成龙”、“成凤”。有时候明知道孩子无法达到自己所期待的高度,还依然不甘心接受现实,不断地给孩子施压,赋予孩子更高的期望。一些妈妈在孩子还小的时候就会为他制定种种目标,如这次考试要考到多少名,下次班级比赛要拿到什么名次,甚至连长大后考什么大学都为孩子“设计”好了。殊不知,这些“目标”有时并不会成为促进孩子学习的动力,反而会成为给孩子带来焦虑的压力。因为一旦目标达成不了,孩子便会觉得是自己能力不行,达不到父母的期望,从而产生失望的心理,以为一切不过是徒劳,也就不愿意再做出努力了。或许这时候妈妈们才发现,不但当初为孩子订立的目标没能实现,反而带来了很多负面影响。就好比一位老教授所说的:“父母的期望值过高,很容易产生失望,甚至有时会成为戕害孩子的凶手。”我们来看一个相关的事例:有一个从小生长在偏远落后山区的女孩,由于成绩优异,被学校和村里人誉为“才女”,父母、老师乃至周围的人们都对她寄予了很高的期望。
转眼女孩上到了高三,她高考考得很不错。但是填报志愿的时候,父母的期望和她的个人意愿起了冲突。她自己想报考南方的一所高校,因为那所学校的某个专业非常棒,而那个专业正是她准备从事的方向。可是她的父母却要她报考一所离家很远的北方的学校,这所学校是全国重点高校。父母希望她能为祖上增光,给全村人长脸。
就这样。这个女孩为了不让父母和村里人失望,就放弃了自己的追求.报考了这所自己并不喜欢的学校。
开学后。进到新的环境中的她,并没有像别的同学那样兴高采烈,而是整天都闷闷不乐的。她总是感到生活很压抑,在半年来的两次考试中,她的成绩都位列中下。这样的结果让一直是当地“状元”的她压力很大.入学不到一年,她终于因无法承受压力而得了严重的抑郁症,并跳,楼自杀了。
当她的妈妈得知这个消息的时候,泣不成声,她悲恸地喊着:“是妈害了你啊孩子,当初如果不是妈的逼迫,你怎么会走上这条路?”
看了这个故事,同样作为妈妈的你或许也会为这个女孩感到惋惜。可是,你是否想过,假如自己遇到这样的情况,会不会像女孩的妈妈一样,怀有这种急功近利的思想,让女儿选择自己并不乐于去做的事呢?
毋庸置疑,每个妈妈都希望自己是智慧的妈妈。而真正的智慧并非是要求孩子做一些看似美好的事,而是让孩子顺其自然地成长,懂得适度要求,量力而行。这样做和那些抱着“恨铁不成钢”想法的妈妈所得到的结果是不同的,因为你的孩子在没有过多压力的情况下成长,更容易用平和的心态来面对每一次挑战和人生的种种际遇。
因此,作为妈妈,我们要问问自己,对于孩子,是要成绩,还是要成长?我们每天辛苦挣钱供孩子上学,究竟是为了什么?这些问题都是无法逃避的,我们千万不可以“妈妈都是为你好”为理由去逼孩子,那样的话只能给孩子的童年带来伤害,影响他的健康成长。
……
Introduction

如今,年轻的妈妈们越来越重视对孩子的教育,为了让自己的孩子能够青出于蓝而胜于蓝,妈妈们恨不得使出浑身解数,培养出一个人见人爱、出类拔萃的孩子。
爱孩子是人之常情,天下哪个妈妈不爱自己的孩子?然而怎样正确地爱孩子,却并不是所有妈妈都明白的。尤其是80后的年轻妈妈们,工作忙、经验少,且又受各种教育理念的影响,越发不知道如何正确爱孩子了。有许多妈妈是因为不懂爱的科学,所以不会科学地爱,常常是以感情代替理智,爱的不是地方,以致在教育孩子时走入误区。有许多孩子本来是可以更有出息的,就因为被“不科学的爱”耽误了,可妈妈还不自觉,以为孩子就是不成器。
那些望子成龙、望女成凤的妈妈们,总是认为孩子应该这样做或那样做,她们希望孩子能够按照自己的意愿行事,哪曾想过,孩子有孩子的思想,孩子有孩子的天性,孩子有孩子的兴趣和爱好,他们不可能事事如妈妈所愿。
本书内容旨在科学地解释孩子的行为,帮助妈妈们正确理解孩子行为背后的语言,从而能采取正确而有效的教育方式,赞扬、批评、说服、沟通,最终纠正孩子错误的行为,培养孩子良好的习惯。同时在这一过程中也融洽亲子关系。教育孩子,要做到字字箴言,句句立竿见影,这不可能。但是,能从每一次失败中得到一点儿经验教训,并且能把这点儿经验教训应用到以后的教育中,这才是最重要的。
各位妈妈们,如果你真的爱自己的孩子,就放开你的手,给孩子空间和自由,让孩子自己去展翅翱翔。做妈妈,有时候“懒”一点儿未必是坏事,事事包办、处处提防,不见得能让你成为受孩子欢迎的妈妈。只要教育方法得当,“懒”妈妈未必不是好妈妈。

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Brand Jingdong book
Brand Origin China

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