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Jingdong book

家教实用读本:家教是成大器者的起跑线

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《家教实用读本:家教是成大器者的起跑线》是改变孩子前途的首选读本。正确的教育方法是一把精美的刻刀,父母掌握着孩子这块璞玉的命运,采用正确的教育方法,是为孩子积累成功的重要保障,是培养孩子成功能力与优秀品质的关键一环。教育方法的正确与否直接影响孩子的一生。
Content Description

《家教实用读本:家教是成大器者的起跑线》中作者认为孩子“成大器”离不开学校教育,离不开社会教育,更离不开家庭教育--因为家庭教育是一切教育的开端和基础,良好的家庭教育是孩子健康成长的基本保证。基于这种认识,这本图书在阐述家教重要性的同时,讲述家教的方法,例举家教成败的事例,引导家长成为一个合格的、高素质的父母,作者认为孩子的成长,是在家庭教育、学校教育和社会教育的共同作用下,才可能成为人格品德优秀、专业成绩优异,能为社会和国家做出杰出贡献的人才。
Catalogue

第一章 跳出教育误区的陷阱
一、审视你给孩子的爱
二、如何给孩子高质量的爱
三、不可忽视的爱的表达
四、爱的合理给予
五、给孩子备足优质的精神食粮
六、品德比分数更重要
七、提高孩子的情商
八、智商和情商

第二章 做不抱怨的父母
一、教育孩子应从改变自我开始
二、停止抱怨,父母应先做好自己
三、不要让孩子从小就学习父母的世故
四、给孩子树立诚实的榜样

第三章 建立平等和谐的亲子关系
一、做民主的父母
二、别把孩子视为自己的私有财产
三、让孩子选择自己的成长模式
四、放手,孩子才能自立自强

第四章 不做唠叨的父母
一、抛弃监督式教育
二、不可只重视教育结果
三、孩子不一定明白你的意思
四、不要对孩子唠叨不休

第五章 父母要教会孩子的事情
一、心平气和地面对生活
二、不能丢的君子礼仪
三、父亲的榜样力量
四、那些父亲要教孩子的事情

第六章 父母与子女沟通的艺术
一、尊重孩子的隐私
二、倾听孩子的心声
三、学会赏识孩子

第七章 发现和培养孩子的潜力
一、每个孩子都是金子
二、挖掘孩子的智力潜能
三、培养孩子的想象力
四、阳光梦想正能量

第八章 引导孩子树立自信心
一、自信是成功的金钥匙
二、自信是战胜困难的利剑
三、下一站——成功

第九章学习自我管理
一、管理自我从修身养性开始
二、求人不如求己
三、金的人格与铁的纪律

第十章 终身学习,一生受益
一、如何成为优等生
二、如何提高学习效率
三、自立自强,不断进取
Book Abstract

一、审视你给孩子的爱越多的爱并不意味着对孩子越有益,通过牺牲自我来满足孩子的需要也不能说明母爱的伟大。给孩子爱之前,先洞察一下自己的心理真相,也许你会发现,自己并没有那么伟大,你的爱也没有真正滋养到孩子。
溺爱是不理智的爱一个已经在上高中的学生,还要他的妈妈为他去拉抽水马桶,不是不会拉,而是每次都懒得动手。后来,他去了美国。他从那里回信说:由于妈妈“多管闲事”,几乎毁了他的前程。
一位已经上了大学的女孩子,喜欢吃鱼,但不“喜欢”择刺儿。据说她妈妈“喜欢”择刺儿,而“不喜欢”吃鱼。于是母女多年来就成了理想的“搭档”。后来,她到了一个盛产鱼的国度。她从那里回信说,正是妈妈的“喜欢”帮助,几乎剥夺了她维生的“技术”。
溺爱,对孩子和妈妈来说,不是幸福而是灾难。
因为溺爱,不知多少青少年失去正常的生活能力和人格魅力;不知多少妈妈为宠爱出孽子而痛心疾首。溺爱是毁灭性的教育方式,相信大多数妈妈已经从无数的前车之鉴中认识到这一点,但是,还是有那么多妈妈控制不了自己的溺爱行为,甚至那些通情达理的高素质知识分子,一面对楚楚可怜的孩子也不禁变成疯狂给爱的妈妈。这是为什么呢?母爱真是如此伟大吗?其实,溺爱不仅仅出于妈妈本能的母爱,还出于妈妈对自己的宠爱。
每个人内心中都藏着两个“我”。一个是“内在的父母”,即我们现实中的父母角色与理想中的父母角色的内化,当我们为人父母时,这个“我”也就是我们自己。另一个是“内在的小孩”,即我们对自己童年体验的记忆和自己理想童年的内化。溺爱最重要的也是最不容易被人发现的原因,就是妈妈将“内在的小孩”投射到现实中的孩子身上。她把现在的孩子,当作自己,按照自己潜意识里的意愿给孩子爱,她根本看不到孩子的成长需求,而是将孩子当成自己的另一个“我”,给予过度满足。例如那些从小生活贫困的妈妈,就会在物质上大量满足孩子,因为她潜意识里极端排斥贫苦的日子,她给孩子大量的物质,其实是在满足自己“内在的小孩”的物欲。所以,妈妈无节制地给予孩子爱,其实是在无节制地满足自己的欲望。溺爱表面上是牺牲自己满足孩子的需要,其心理真相却是宠爱自己。
每个妈妈都应该反思一下自己对孩子的爱,你是不是在按照自己的想法爱孩子,你是不是希望有一个和孩子一样的童年呢?如果是,请注意了,你也许正在有意无意中溺爱孩子。
在溺爱中成长的孩子会有很多缺陷,比如他喜欢追随别人、求助别人、人云亦云,在家中依赖父母,日后在外面宁愿依赖同事、依赖上司,也不愿自己创造,不敢表现自己,害怕独立,又或者他喜欢做一个“小霸王”,自私自利,不尊重父母兄弟姐妹,脾气暴躁,性格极端。这些都意味着他的人格还没有趋于成熟和健全。溺爱对孩子的负面影响可见一斑。
对孩子真正的爱其实是一种理智的爱。比如,当和孩子一起外出游玩时,孩子发现了很多精美的玩具、美味的糖果、漂亮的衣服……妈妈可以买,但一定要有个节制,让孩子明白,不是所有的东西,妈妈都必须要无条件去给予他。或者在某些特定的情况下,满足孩子某些特别的愿望。关键在于,在这种时候,你要让孩子知道,这是因为有特别的原因你才会这么做的。
理智的爱还表现在针对孩子不同的阶段,采取不同的爱的方式,比如在0~2岁,要给予孩子无条件的爱,让他在这种爱的环境中得到生命最初的安全感。
到了2~4岁,孩子开始自主探索世界与自己,这时,最明智的爱是尊重孩子的自主探索,使他的自我意识得到强化。这样,当他步入青春期后,会发现自己已经能够独立地处理很多成长的问题,化解很多生活中的困惑。
溺爱绝不是真爱。相反,溺爱是一种失去理智、直接摧残儿童身心健康的爱。
无可置疑,溺爱孩子是当今社会的普遍现象。生活中,经常可以听到这样的话:“再苦也不能苦了孩子。”“为了孩子,我什么都可以做。”“孩子是我的命根子,孩子过得好我才会过得好。”正是怀着如此种种想法,父母尽其所能地从各方面满足孩子的需求,他们尽可能地把孩子的生活道路铺得稳稳当当,似乎这样就能保证孩子幸福健康地成长。可惜,这些父母都没意识到,他们的这些观念恰恰给孩子带来了诸多的危害。
一位为其孩子伤透脑筋的妈妈在束手无策的情况下,不得不去找教育专家寻求教育良方。专家问:“你孩子第一次系鞋带时就打了死结,你是不是从此就不给他买有鞋带的鞋子了?”这位妈妈点了点头。专家又问:“你孩子第一次洗碗时弄得满厨房是水,你是不是不再让他走近洗碗池?”妈妈又点头称是。专家继续问:“孩子第一次铺床笨手笨脚,用了一个多小时才勉强铺好。你是不是嫌他太笨拙,从此不再让他自己铺床?”这位妈妈惊讶地看着专家说:“我就是这么做的,你怎么知道的?”专家回答是从那根鞋带知道的。这位妈妈问自己以后怎么办。专家说:“孩子生病你就带他去医院;孩子上中学、上大学、找工作,你最好绞尽脑汁运用各种关系;孩子没钱时,你给他送去;孩子结婚时,你为他准备好婚房;孩子生了孩子你帮他带。”
……

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