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说谎心理学

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Jingdong book

说谎心理学

Name: 说谎心理学
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3116015641
Price: 25.04 USD
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《说谎心理学》作者德国著名心理学家、心理治疗师乌特·艾尔哈特，她有一系列畅销多国的图书，影响和改变了千万读者的生活和职业道路。谎言是人类制造的。它充满诱惑，没有人能逃过这种诱惑。我们都在自觉或不自觉地使用它，因为有助于我们更好地生活、工作。弱肉强食的世界，不利用一些精巧的谎言，如何能生存？

Content Description

社会学家和心理学家的研究表明，我们每天会用到5~200 次程度不等的谎言，政治场合中、广告中、工作和生活中，为了获得利益和机会，或者在别人面前树立良好的形象，或者建立稳固的友好关系，我们总是有意无意地说谎。而事实也告诉我们，人际关系、职业生涯、爱情完满、人生幸福，与谎言有着密不可分的关系。谁要是始终诚实如一，必将失去某些机会、破坏某种关系，使人避之不及。作者以幽默通俗的语言，揭示了哪些是谎言、为什么说谎、怎么利用好的谎言、谎言与真相的关系等问题，旨在帮助读者提高识别和利用谎言的能力，使人生更幸福、事业更成功。

Author Description

乌特·艾尔哈特，德国著名心理学家、心理治疗师，欧美最具影响力的畅销书作家之一。她的《好女孩上天堂，坏女孩走四方》《女人变“坏”就成功》等一系列畅销书版权销售至几十个国家。
威廉·尤能：德国著名心理学家、心理治疗师，和妻子乌特·艾尔哈特一起从事心理治疗工作多年，并长期组织心理学研讨会。

Catalogue

引言
第一章揭开被掩盖的真相和谎言
1. 关于谎言的七个谎言
2. 我们是天生的说谎者
3. 你以为诚实很容易吗
4. 变化中的真相
5. 信则真，不信则假
6. 快乐的虚构症患者-
7. 无处不在的谎言
8. 说谎比诚实更贴近自然

第二章在不诚实的爱情中相爱
1. 爱情中的经济学
2. 谁的爱情始终诚实如一
3. 你为什么喜欢我
4. 基因中的爱情程序
5. 最熟悉的陌生人
6. 男人、女人、谎言
7. 没有永久的激情

第三章如何发掘谎言中的幸福力
1. 幸福是一种主观感受
2. 比真相重要的积极能量
3. 成熟的防卫
4. 坚不可摧的友情
5. 强大的谎言治愈力-
6. 不多不少的秘密
7. 让自己幸福起来
8. 创造幸福的练习

第四章怎样做个正直的说谎者
1. 与谎言互利共生-
2. 暗藏危机的真相
3. 真相真有那么重要吗
4. 父母和孩子的谎言游戏
5. 诱人的是谎言，还是商品
6. 亲社会的谎言
7. 究竟为什么相信谎言

第五章为什么会说谎的人混得更好
1. 你所知道的职场谎言
2. 声音是怎么骗人的
3. 异议、借口、谎言
4. 怎样把谎言说得跟真的似的
5. 领导们的谎言
6. 测谎仪真的能测谎吗
7. 人人都可以是识谎高手

第六章为什么我们常常骗自己
1. 我们为什么纠结
2. 世界是对的，我也是
3. 我们可以活得更好
4. 真假难辨的过去
5. 对自己说谎，让内心平衡
结束语

Book Abstract

《说谎心理学》：
1.关于谎言的七个谎言
最成功的说谎者，是那些使最少量的谎言发挥最大作用的人。—— [ 英国 ] 塞·巴特勒
向谎言致敬！
一个俄罗斯女贵族与她的男仆一起私奔到美国。没有人理解，她为什么要放弃宫廷贵妇无忧无虑的生活，选择成为身无分文的移民，去过缺衣少食的苦日子。多年以后，她客死纽约，死时依然清贫。至于那个问题：为什么要选择这条路？她的答案从未变过：“很简单，是他的奉承——你难以想象，他把语言编织得有美妙，让我觉得自己是世上最美丽的女人。”
奉承是世界通用的人际交往润滑剂，而说白了，也只是谎言的一种形式。但在奉承与被奉承时，我们甚至感觉不到谎言的存在。因此，我们往往会忽视这么一个事实：我们经常理所当然地说谎。在法庭上，我们被要求说出真相，做伪证或进行虚假陈述将会被处以高额罚款，甚至面临牢狱之灾。但即便如此，这也只能让很少一部分人说真话。就算是法官，也不能完全保证真相浮出水面。在日常生活中，因说谎而面临的制裁更是时有时无。那么，为什么不说谎呢？总之，谎言会伴随我们一生，不管我们乐意与否。在本章的开始，笔者首先要帮助你认清关于谎言的七个谎言。
谎言一：谎言会破坏交际
我们彬彬有礼，我们赞美他人，我们给予别人希望得到的关切，我们微微一笑去掩盖愤怒。我们明明心存怀疑，却又点头表示赞同，只是为了避开冗长且没有意义的讨论。很多社交性的谎言往往微不足道，但却可以让我们保持和平，共同生活。
谎言究竟会不会破坏交际呢？
或许一个弥天大谎会毁掉一段感情，但在现实生活中，情侣之间仅仅因为一次说谎就劳燕分飞的情形却并不多见。在每一个品德高尚的人眼中，说谎无疑是卑鄙的。但是正如我在前言中所说，成功的谎言能够成就好的结果。
为了让别人领会自己想要表达的意思，我们有必要选择性地说真话。谁要是缺乏这种社交敏感，就会比那些谨慎聪明的说谎者更快失去社会的认可。因此，如果你想在社会上有立足之地，请学会说谎。
谎言二：说谎者是世上最孤独的人
道德传统告诉我们：爱说谎的人将面临众叛亲离的危险。所谓的“一次说了谎，到老人不信”，说的就是说谎的危害。但事实却告诉我们：谁要是死命坚持赤裸裸的真相，他将会面临无边的孤独。那些习惯吹牛的人，他们的故事有一半都是凭空捏造的；那些绘声绘色的冒险、言过其实的英雄行为、尴尬而有趣的笑话，谁都知道不是真的，但却很享受谎言带来的乐趣。吹牛者不管是在唱独角戏，还是在娱乐大众，都不会感到孤独。
能将谎言巧妙地用于社交的人，也很少会感到孤独，因为他们能很好地避免摩擦。
许多社会学家指出：在社会生活中，大约有三分之二的谎言是“亲社会”的，它们间接地服务于说谎者，其主要目的是维持社会和平。
谎言三：真正聪明的人根本不需要谎言
如果你持有这种观点，请务必忘了它。当一个人想要说一个成功的谎言，就必须时时刻刻杜撰新的“事实”，而这个“事实”和我们的知识水平密切相关。换言之，谎言恰恰是一个人聪明才智的表现。说谎者所拥有的知识水平决定了其预见矛盾、构思谎言的水平。
例如，一个小男孩站在空糖果盒前说：“我没有偷吃。”很显然，他的谎言没有任何创意，而且，他躲闪的目光已经把自己出卖了。但如果换成一个稍有生活经验和认知的孩子，他可能就会极其厌烦地声称：“我只是想看看里面是不是还有糖果，我可以发誓，盒子原来就是空的！”这种时候，大人往往就会开始思考别的可能性。瞧，多狡猾的说谎者！
谎言四：是谎言都会被揭穿
世上没有不透风的墙——这句话是想提醒我们：就算谎言编织得再精巧，迟早还是会被戳穿的。但那又如何呢？人们愿意被谎言欺骗。就算有人曾经说过谎，或者一直在说谎，人们还是会选择不计较。那些狡猾的推销员会热情地告诉潜在顾客“我自己也在使用这款面膜”、“您穿这款衣服太好看了”。谁都明白，这不过是他们哄骗顾客的惯用伎俩，但他们却很少遭到公开的谴责，并且总是能够成功地达到目的。所以，如果说世上确实存在不透风的墙，那就是已经被大众普遍认可和接受的谎言。
谎言五：说谎是不负责任的表现
有人认为，说谎者是不负责任的人。我们对此表示质疑。试想一下，一个内向柔弱的朋友遇到了挫折，沮丧地对你说：“我真是太没用了！”如果你老实地回答：“确实，你真的很差劲。”这样说无疑是火上浇油，只会使朋友更加低落和无助。当然，我们相信你不会这么说的，因为你知道，在这种情况下，与其直言不讳地说出真相，不如设计一个仁慈的谎言。而这，正是你对朋友负责的表现。
如果你能用谎言阻止一个人大发雷霆，或者消除其不良情绪，或者解除某些危机，那么毫无疑问，这个谎言是很负责的，你也是个很负责的人。
某天晚上，一个朋友喝得酩酊大醉，大卫把他的车钥匙藏了起来，并且严肃地声称：“我不知道！什么车钥匙？”大卫的谎言既避免了一场毫无意义的争吵，也保证了朋友的安全。他是聪明的，也是负责的。
谎言六：我们一次也不愿意被骗
在对人说实话之前，我们会在心里做一个后果分析。如果我们内心有所顾虑，又不愿意刻意说谎，往往会选择沉默。因为我们主观上认为，谁都希望听实话——尽管用沉默取代真相，在性质上和说谎并无二致。但是我们真的反对被欺骗吗？哪怕一次也不愿意？未必！当热恋中的情侣听到关于另一半的批评时，尽管会深感不安，但绝不会因此就结束一段感情。而且，他或她还会抱怨告诉自己真相的朋友——我就是愿意被欺骗！
有人临时要用车，于是买了一辆二手的，并且用完后就转手了。即便后来他发现这款车因为发动机问题而臭名昭著，也不会再去找原来的车主理论——算了吧，反正车已经处理出去了，多说也没意义。所以，如果真相带有某种侮辱性，或者有可能对我们不利，很多时候是被屏蔽的。
……

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