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Jingdong book

只需倾听:与所有人都能沟通的秘密

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《只需倾听》作者FBI和警察局以及诸多国际企业培训导师的身份,尤其是FBI的培养背景,尤其是人质谈判的经验。
观点新颖。同类书籍大多从怎么说入手,教人倾听的书籍相对偏少。
指导性与实用性。情境不仅涉及企业以及政府机构等,而且还囊括生活的各个方面,是一本既专业又通俗的人际沟通实用书籍。
可信度。讲述了一系列生动有效的实例,并且穿插通俗的脑科学知识,循序渐进地呈现了沟通说服的过程是由倾听开始,让人信服。

Content Description

善于倾听是沟通的关键
如何修补破碎的家庭,让冷战的夫妻重归于好?如何让叛逆的孩子乖乖听话?
如何引起潜在客户的兴趣?
如何让老板听懂你的诉求?
如何让支离破碎的团队高效合作?如何帮助销售人员创出卓越的业绩?
如何让不友善的对手变成自己的朋友?
Author Description

马克·郭士顿(Mark Goulston),跨界沟通专家、商界心理权威、年度最优秀的精神科医师。 在过去25年间,郭士顿医生与众多知名企业展开合作,凭借其在人际关系和沟通方面的独特洞察力,他成功地帮助了个人、团队和组织发挥出最大的潜力。 他服务过的客户包括:FBI、IBM、联邦快递、柯达、美林证券、高盛及美国洛杉矶警察局等。他也曾受邀担任《华尔街日报》、《财富》、《新闻周刊》、《时代》、路透社、美国国家公共电台、“奥普拉秀”和“今日秀”的特约嘉宾,向人们传授处理各种复杂人际关系的方法技巧,引导他们通过学会倾听来解决各种棘手问题。 此外,他还著有《摆脱你的工作坏习惯》等畅销作品。

Comments

★“很赞的技巧……这本指南既实用又有趣。
——《出版商周刊》

★这是一部里程碑式的著作,每一个当下或未来的领导者都应该读,更重要的是,要好好运用它。
——沃伦·本尼斯

★当代领导力大师、四任美国总统顾问团成员沟通不仅仅是把话说出来而已,而是要让对方听进去。马克·郭士顿为沟通赋予了全新的意义。在通向更优质的倾听、关爱、指导和成就感的路途中,《只需倾听》是不可或缺的指导手册。我们感谢你,马克。
——弗朗西斯·赫塞尔本德鲁克基金会CEO、《赫塞尔本论领导力》作者

★这本书我买了许多,给美泰的资深管理团队每人发了一本,也给我长大成人的孩子们每人送了一本。
——鲍勃·埃克特美泰公司CEO兼董事长郭士顿

★在书中流露出的深切关爱是极少见的,而他的能力——帮我们卸掉盔甲,看见真实的自己——既是上天赐给他的天赋,亦是他赠送给我们的礼物。这本书里的声音是发自内心的,现在,该我们用心倾听了。
——乔希·维茨金《学习的艺术》作者

★《聆听式沟通》是一部权威性的人际交流著作——可谓现代版《人性的弱点》。
——马蒂·尼姆克《美国新闻与世界报道》(U.S.News&WorldReport)

★特约编辑读着简单,学着容易,并且结果很令人惊喜。
——马歇尔·古德史密斯畅销书《魔鬼管理学》作者
Catalogue

名家推荐
权威推荐
作者简介
第1章 2个沟通奥秘
奥秘1 谁劫持了你
奥秘2 大脑为何会从说“不”到说“是”
第2章 9条核心沟通法则
法则1 从“噢,完蛋了”到“对,就这么办”
法则2 清空成见,开始倾听
法则3 让对方感觉到你的理解
法则4 对别人感兴趣,而不是证明自己有趣
法则5 让别人感到自己有价值
法则6 帮助他人抒发郁结
法则7 消除错位现象
法则8 茫然无助的时候,主动示弱
法则9 远离“有毒”的人
第3章 12个简易沟通秘诀
秘诀1 真的不可能吗
秘诀2 魔力悖论
秘诀3 同理心催生法
秘诀4 出人意料的立场转换
秘诀5 你真的这么想吗
秘诀6 “嗯……”的力量
秘诀7 先自我揭短
秘诀8 从“交易”到“交心”
秘诀9 “肩并肩”的交流
秘诀10 填空法
秘诀11 朝着“不行”一路挺进
秘诀12 重量级的感谢和道歉
第4章 快速应对7种棘手问题
运用1 如何搞定糟糕的团队
运用2 如何顺利升迁
运用3 如何对付自恋狂
运用4 如何拓展人脉
运用5 如何对付失控的人
运用6 如何与自己对话
运用7 如何接近大人物
后记
郭士顿医生主题演讲与研讨会
Book Abstract

第1章 2个沟通奥秘
奥秘1谁劫持了你
眼下,你需要跟一个人沟通,可你拿他没办法,被他气得发疯。此人或许是你的工作伙伴:你的下属、团队成员、客户或老板;也可能是你的家庭成员:伴侣、父母、不服管教的十几岁孩子、气鼓鼓的前妻或前夫。
你什么方法都试过了,你动之以情、晓之以理、威逼、恳求、发脾气,可你每次都碰壁。你抓狂、害怕、充满挫折感。你在想:“这可怎么办?”
我想让你这么办:把这想象成一次人质劫持事件。为什么?因为你没有自由。你被另一个人的抗拒、恐惧、敌意、冷漠、固执、自私、贪求给束缚住了,而且凭一己之力无法摆脱。
此时,该我出场了。
我只是一个普普通通的人:一个丈夫、父亲、医生。可很久以前,我发现自己有种特殊的本事:你把我放到任何场合里,我都能跟人沟通。我可以说服高傲的高级管理人员、气愤的员工或是自毁前程的管理团队,使其彼此合作、共赴难关;我可以跟关系一团糟的家庭或是彼此恨之入骨的夫妻坐下来一起谈心;我甚至可以改变人质挟持者和试图自杀的绝望人士的意志。
我不知道我的做法是否跟别人不一样,可我敢说,我的法子有用。我知道我不比别人聪明,也知道我的成功并非只靠运气,因为我的方法一直行之有效,而且在任何情况下,对任何人都能起作用。可它为什么会有用呢?
在分析这种方法的时候,我找到了答案。原来,我是从一种简单而快速的技巧入手的,其中有些是我自己发现的,有些是从导师和同事们那里学来的。这套技巧创造出一种“牵引力”,也就是说,它会把人们向我拉过来,哪怕这些人竭力想离开。
为了理解我的意思,你就想象自己正在开车爬一个陡峭的山坡。轮胎打滑了,没法抓牢地面。可你要是挂低速挡,就能控制它,这就好像是把地面朝你拉了过来。
绝大多数人在跟别人沟通的时候,挂的是高速挡。他们说服、鼓励,他们争论、敦促。在这个过程中,他们让对方产生了抗拒心理。但使用我的方法时,与你的做法正好相反——你倾听、提问、体察映照(mirror,作者会在后文中作详细的阐释。——译者注)对方的情绪,把你听到的话如实反馈给对方。当你这样做的时候,他们会感觉到你的关注和理解,知道你与他们感同身受。而这意料之外的“低速挡”,会把他们拉向你。
你在这本书中将学到一些威力强大的技巧,它们能迅速并轻易地(往往是在几分钟内)把对方的“不”变成“是”。我每天都使用这些方法来弥合破碎的家庭,帮助敌对的夫妻重归于好。我用这些方法挽救濒临崩溃的公司,让长期不和的经理们高效率地合作,帮助销售人员达成“不可能做到”的销售业绩。我也运用它们帮助FBI探员和人质谈判专家在最艰难、生死攸关的时刻取得胜利。
事实上,你会发现,当你要跟一个不肯听你说话的人沟通时,你所处的境地和人质谈判专家十分相似。因此,本书就从弗兰克的故事讲起。
案例直击
超市自杀事件
一个大型购物中心的停车场上,弗兰克坐在自己的车子里。没人靠近他,因为他正用一把猎枪抵着自己的喉咙。特警队和人质谈判小组被召来了。特警们在其他车辆后就位,尽量避免激怒弗兰克。
趁等待的时机,特警们掌握了背景细节。面前这个男人30出头,本来在一家大型电器商城做客户服务,由于半年前冲着顾客和同事们大嚷而丢掉了工作。之后,他去面试了好几份工作,却都未成功。因此他对妻子和两名年纪尚幼的孩子横加责骂。
一个月前,他的妻儿搬去了外地的娘家。妻子说,她需要静一静,而弗兰克需要找回状态。与此同时,房东把他轰了出来,因为他们没交房租。于是,他在差劲的地段找了个破旧的房子住下,不洗澡、不刮脸,也没有食物。停车场事件的前一天,他收到了一纸限制令,这成了压倒骆驼的最后一根稻草。
现在,首席谈判专家正冷静地对他说话。“弗兰克,我是埃文斯中尉,我要跟你谈谈,因为你除了伤害自己之外,还有别的出路。我知道你别无选择,可事情是能解决的。”
弗兰克吼道:“你知道个屁。你跟其他人没区别。你他妈的让我一个人待会儿!”
埃文斯中尉答道:“那可不行。你待在商场停车场中间,拿着枪顶着自己的喉咙,我得帮你找到其他的解决办法。”
“你他妈的滚一边去!我不需要人帮忙!”弗兰克回答。
就这样,对话进行了一个小时,间或有数分钟(或者更长)的沉默。弗兰克的个人资料传过来了,显然他不是个坏家伙,只是个方寸大乱的愤怒男人。特警队已经各就各位,若是他拿枪威胁到别人的安全,就把他“揪出来”。可除了弗兰克之外,每个人都希望此事有个平和的结局。然而,胜算看上去不大。
一个半小时后,另一位谈判专家克雷默探长到了现场。克雷默上过我给警方和FBI的谈判专家开设的训练课程。
克雷默探长听人汇报了弗兰克的背景资料和谈判进程后,他建议埃文斯中尉这样做:“我想让你这样对他说:‘你什么都试过了,觉得这是唯一的办法。我敢打赌,你觉得没人知道这是什么滋味,是不是?’”
……
Introduction

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Jingdong book