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Jingdong book

你有多温柔,就有多强大

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Content Description

二十世纪ZUI伟大的心灵导师卡耐基写给所有幸福女人的励志经典,一本连续半个世纪ZUI受女性欢迎的心灵励志书!《你有多温柔,就有多强大》为你打开一扇重新认识自己和世界的窗户,激发你内在的潜能,让你内心变得温柔而强大,以自己喜欢的方式从容淡定地幸福过一生。


Author Description

戴尔·卡耐基(Dale Carnegie,1888年11月24日-1955年11月1日),被誉为二十世纪ZUI伟大的成功学大师、二十世纪ZUI伟大的心灵导师、美国著名的人际关系学大师,其在1936年出版了《人性的弱点》《写给女人》等著作。


Catalogue

第一章 你若温柔,必有力量
温柔的女人可以平定世界
你的微笑价值100万
做个理性的天使
内心的平静最可贵
世界越是浮躁,你越是要淡定
给生活加一些调味料
未来不迎,过往不恋
淡定,最优雅的姿态
坚定地面对一切挑战
第二章 在不安的世界里,不慌不忙地坚强
停下脚步,倾听心底的声音
做你喜欢的事情就对了
活在当下,很多忧虑都是女人臆想出来的
不为打翻的牛奶哭泣
不可能让每个人都喜欢你
你已经拥有最好的一切
不为明天忧虑
多想想那些得意的事情
好心情是可以装出来的
第三章 不妥协、不讨好、不将就
你可以选择不妥协
大声说“不”
你不需活在别人的认可里
你永远有选择更好的权利
唯一值得在乎的是你自己的想法
保留属于自己的空间
你的命运完全由自己决定
做一个不随波逐流的人
能听意见,也有主见
你想过什么样的日子
第四章 孤独时,学会自我欣赏
你不完美?那有什么关系
不要让自己的心灵太疲惫
自我安慰和鼓励很重要的
孤独时自我欣赏
保持本色,每个女人都与众不同
放过自己,就是得到安宁
学会喜欢自己
对自己的外貌有自信
不认命,用努力成就自己
第五章 你若渴望前行,就不要停下脚步
越努力的女人越幸运
“困难”是个无聊的词
扛得住,世界便是你的
不逼自己一次,就不知道自己有多优秀
你若渴望前行,就不要停下脚步
你没有理由不坚强
不要执着于生命的10%
别害怕人生重新开始
走自己的路,让别人去说吧
你若不勇敢,谁替你坚强
第六章 内心的强大,源于生命的丰盈
拥有自己的事业,才能过自己想要的生活
每天留出10分钟读书时间
爱丽尔女士的几个建议
承担责任,是女人变成熟的标志
能干而不失女人味的秘诀
做梦想的王妃
为自己的爱好留下一片空间
教养是女人永恒的气场源
善用优势:做个灵魂有香气的女人
活得精致是女人的尊严
第七章 生活需要爱情,但不仅仅是爱情
幸福不靠男人来布施
他不是你生活的全部
别把单身的日子不当回事
不管嫁与不嫁,都要自食其力
独立是女人的另一种风情
女人财务独立,离开谁都能过得精彩
握不住的沙,不如扬了它
单身也是一种选择
建立共同的爱好会令爱情更恒久
第八章 爱和慈悲,让你的心灵变得更强大
爱是最好的精神食粮
懂得了宽恕,才算是个内心强大的人
乐于施舍,不图回报
请让我来帮助你,就像帮助我自己
放下身上的仇恨袋
即使是尖锐的批评,也不要念念不忘
学会知足与惜福
愿你拥有被爱照亮的生命
用心去感受身边的幸福
第九章 向上的力量,每天保持元气满满
永远保持对生活的热情
拥有让自己快乐的能力
停止为鸡毛蒜皮的小事烦恼
不再为失眠忧虑
每天挤一点闲暇时间给自己
每日恢复体力,在疲劳到来前除掉它
每天做一分钟的放松练习
放下工作,给自己的身心放一个长假

Book Abstract

温柔的女人可以平定世界
我曾经在《人性的弱点》中写道:“我们所面对的万事万物都有其两面性,关键就在于我们怎样去看待。正确的对待方式是:对不利于自己的方面也不要抱怨不公,更不要迁怒于人,要正视现实,尊重真理。”
有一次,我在电台做播音,提到《小妇人》的作者路易莎·梅·奥尔科特女士。我知道,她在马萨诸塞州的康考特长大并写成她的著作。但一不小心,我说我曾经到新罕布什尔州的康考特拜访过她的家。如果我只说错了一次,似乎还可以原谅。但是,我接连说了两次。
接下来,我收到了无数的指责和谩骂。有位住在费城但出生在马萨诸塞州康考特的老太太,她对我表示了强烈的愤怒并责骂我。当我看到她写给我的信时,心里想:“感谢上帝,还好我没有娶这样的女人。”
我当时特别想写信告诉她,尽管我说错了地名,可是她也不能一点儿礼貌都没有,她的批判不具有任何公平性。我还想告诉她,我当时说错是有原因的。但是后来考虑了一下,我并没有那么做,我控制了自己。
只有冲昏了头的蠢人才会那么做呢,我不想和蠢人一样。于是,我试着努力把她的仇恨变成友善。这对我将是一个挑战,但是我乐意这么做。我对自己说:“如果我是她的话,可能也会这么做。”
后来,我去费城的时候,还打电话给这位老太太。我说:“某某夫人,几个星期前,您写信给我,我向您表示由衷的感谢。”
电话里传出她柔和、流利的声音,她说:“很抱歉,请问您是哪位?我听不出您的声音来。”我对她说:“我叫戴尔·卡耐基,您听过我在广播电台做的关于路易莎·梅·奥尔科特的节目,对于我犯的那个无法原谅的错误,我向您表示深深的歉意。”
然后,我又对她指出我的错误表示感谢。她对我说:“卡耐基先生,我在信里粗鲁地向您发脾气,我很抱歉。”
我说:“不!不!该道歉的是我,不是您。我说错了一个连小学生都懂得的常
识。事后的那个星期天,我进行了自我批评,现在我特地向您道歉。”
她说:“我住在马萨诸塞州的康考特城。近200年来,我们家族在马萨诸塞州的历史上非常有名望。我一直以来以我的家乡为荣。所以我在听到您说路易莎·梅·奥尔科特住在新罕布什尔州时,我很难过,也很气愤,但是现在,我给您写的信让我感到抱歉和不安。”
我说:“您真的不用感到不安,确实是我犯了一个严重的错误。像您这样有身份的人,愿意指出我的错误,实在是我的荣幸。希望我以后有错误时,您一样能够给我指出。”
她说:“您这种勇于接受别人错误,平和乐观的心态会让越来越多的人喜欢您
的。我相信您是一个很优秀的人,我也很愿意认识您。”
女士们,正是因为我很好地控制了自己的情绪,以友善、和蔼的态度对那位老太太,我因此获得了她的原谅和尊重,而且我又多了一个朋友,何乐而不为呢?
生活中不如意不顺心的事情有很多,单纯地抱怨发怒并不能够解决实际的问题,面对不如意不顺心,与其抱怨发怒,不如学着去释然。
在现实的工作与生活中,有时候,我们是可怜的“受气包”和无奈的“变形金刚”,忍无可忍也须容忍,改变自身以求容身。正如法国思想家卢梭所说的那样,“忍耐是痛苦的,可它的果实是甜蜜的”。
我的一个朋友因为琐碎的小事和邻居争吵了起来,争得面红耳赤,谁也不肯让谁。最后,她气呼呼地去找牧师—牧师是当地最有智慧、最公道的人。
“牧师,您来帮我评评理吧!我的那位邻居简直糟糕透了!她竟然……”她怒气冲冲,一见到牧师就开始了她的抱怨和指责,正要大肆指责邻居的不是时却被牧师打断了。
牧师说:“对不起,正巧我现在有事,麻烦你先回去,明天再说吧。”
第二天一早,我的朋友又愤愤不平地来了,不过,显然没有昨天那么生气了。
“今天,您一定要帮我评出来是非对错,那个人简直是……”她又开始数落起那人的劣行。
牧师不紧不慢地说:“你的怒气还是没有消除,等你心平气和后再说吧!正好我的事情还没有办好。”
一连好几天,我的朋友都没有来找牧师了。有一天牧师在路上遇到了她,她正在农田里忙碌着,她的心情显然平静了很多。
牧师问道:“现在,你还需要我来评理吗?”说完,微笑着看着对方。
我的朋友羞愧地笑了笑,说:“我现在已经心平气和了!现在想想也不是什么大不了的事,不值得生气的。”
牧师仍然不疾不徐地说:“这就对了,我不急于和你说这件事,就是想给你时间消消气啊,记住,不要在气头上轻易说话或者行动。”
我们在很多时候会因为某些小事而生别人的气,并指责别人的不是。其实,仔细想想,这些事根本是不值一提的。如果你因某人某事而生气的时候,不妨告诉自己:等一等再说。等到你真正心平气和时,你会发现自己的动怒是多么不值得。
当我们用乐观的心重新打量这个世界的时候,我们就会发现,原来生活不是不美好,而是我们一直在抱怨中扭曲了生活。我们应该试着去做一个淡然、平和的人,学会与人分享,学会在残缺中品味快乐,在逆境中感受幸福。
……
Introduction

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