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Jingdong book

父母新知:让孩子学会交朋友

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1、 一个篱笆三根桩,一个好汉三个帮!少子时代,朋友比什么都重要!
2、 每个人都必须学会与人相处。父母要帮助孩子,让他会交朋友,有好朋友。
3、 素质教育操作手册,光有理念是不够的,父母最重要的是要知道怎么做。
3、解答父母疑惑,从书中找寻帮助孩子建立友谊的关键办法。
Content Description

家庭教育畅销书《我家小孩有人缘》的姊妹篇。本书从儿童心理发展的特点着手,帮助家长分析孩子的问题,用一些实用的心理学小技巧、小训练,帮助孩子学会交朋友,形成友谊观。为了让家长好懂易学,本书用案例、讲方法,帮助家长用有针对性的办法,培养孩子的友谊观。
现在的孩子大多数都是独生子女,在家庭中,缺少与兄弟姐妹相处的机会。因此,对于现在的父母,如何让自己的孩子学会交朋友,如何帮助自己的孩子在与同伴交往中学会理解和忍让,并获得社会交往能力,这是相当重要的教养环节。
本书从儿童心理发展的特点着手,帮助家长弄清交往能力的内涵,用一些实用的生活案例,心理学小技巧、小训练,指导家长如何教孩子学会交往,学会控制自己的情绪,引导孩子建立良好的同伴关系。
交往能力的关键点:
1. 让孩子更好地遵守和适应社会规则,懂得尊重他人,学会与同伴相处,建立良好的同伴关系。
2. 在面对同伴矛盾、别人遇到困难的时候,他们能有解决这些问题的技能。
3. 培养爱的能力,要热爱我们的社会和生活、学习、居住的地方,爱的情感,有助于他们成为负责、有爱心的人。
Author Description

艾永明,也用笔名闻少聪,毕业于北京师范大学心理学系,心理学专家,青少年问题发展专家,为多家杂志和媒体撰稿。始终关注于孩子的成长事业,出版有多部广受欢迎的儿童教育著作,如《我家小孩不拖拉》、《我家小孩有点倔》等等。
Catalogue

一 孩子害怕和别人玩,还总闹矛盾,该怎么办?
1 学会交往,学会成长
2 学会交往,得到快乐
3 学会交往,增长见识
4 学会交往,突破自己
5 让孩子知道与别人在一起是有益的
6 自然大方、活泼开朗,更受欢迎
7 让孩子明白和别人一起努力才能成功
8 改变孩子从现在开始!
二 孩子害怕去学校怎么办?
1 孩子为什么不愿意去学校?
2 学会与别人相处,融入学校
3 尽快认识学校里的老师和同学
4 多参加集体活动,让别人了解自己
5 在老师和同学面前表达自己
6 与老师和同学发生矛盾时怎么办
7 妈妈,我被别人拒绝了!
8 怎样才能够让别人喜欢我呢?
9 孩子取得进步时要鼓励他们
10 消除孩子的担心,让他们尽快融入学校!
三 孩子不会和别人沟通交流怎么办?
1 大胆表达自己的见解
2 给孩子“说话”的机会
3 多与老师沟通,让老师了解自己
4 遇到不会的问题应该向老师和同学请教
5 在平时就应该与孩子一起积极的讨论
6 孩子上课不发言怎么办?
7 上课积极发言,展示自己
8 让孩子在学习中交到新朋友
四 孩子不爱和别人一起玩怎么办?
1 多和别人一起玩,才能更开心
2 与别人在一起有陌生感怎么办?
3告诉孩子玩游戏时要注意哪些要点
4 孩子不理解游戏规则时要提醒他们
5 在玩耍时受到“不公平对待”怎么办?
6 在玩耍时受到挫折怎么办?
7 培养兴趣和爱好,让孩子更开朗大方
8 玩得好,才能学得更好
五 该从哪些入手改变孩子?
1 假牙的故事――学会从别人的角度考虑问题
2 真的没有比她更优秀的人吗?――学会欣赏同伴
3 中日两国小朋友的差异――学会分享
4 “闷罐子”的转变――学会表达自己
5 少年博士生为什么退学?――做个善于和别人沟通的孩子
6一对父母的的教训――做孩子讲礼貌的榜样
7 李开复选什么样的人?――有团队合作精神
8 少年犯的痛思――守纪律
9 有理智的见义勇为――培养自我保护能力
10 从一次交通事故中得到的启示――教孩子学会拒绝
11 三个和尚也可以有水吃 ――学会协商
12 海葵与小丑鱼的合作――学会双赢
六 怎样帮助孩子和别人交往
1孟母三迁――孩子应该交哪些类型的朋友?
2错怪了孩子的母亲――不喜欢孩子的朋友怎么办?
3皮亚杰的反思――孩子之间有冲突父母该出手吗?
4“送大衣”的故事――给孩子一定的选择朋友的权利
5 令人惋惜的网瘾少年――孩子交友不慎怎么办?
6 安南的成长历程――适当的让孩子参加集体活动
7 “假积极?”的小班长――孩子承班级工作是好还是坏?
8 扭曲的价值观――警惕孩子的交往成人化
七 孩子在交往过程中遇到困难怎么办?
1 有自闭症的女孩――不敢与别人交往怎么办?
2 叛逆的男孩――不会与别人交往怎么办?
3 阿德勒的成长历程――有退缩行为怎么办?
4卡那波利的反思――自我中心意识过强怎么办?
5 一对父母的反思――攻击性强怎么办?
6 凯丝?达莉是怎样成功的――害羞怎么办?
7 孑然独处的女大学生――自卑怎么办?
八 让我们与孩子一起改变
1 家庭,孩子人际交往的第一课堂
2 父母,做孩子的最好的榜样
3 是导师,也是朋友――建立正确的亲子关系
4 孩子不擅交往的原因在您
5 学会与孩子商量也是一种能力
6尊重孩子,培养他们的独立性
7学会与孩子沟通 145
8让我们与孩子一起改变
Book Abstract

一 孩子害怕和别人玩,还总闹矛盾,该怎么办?
1 学会交往,学会成长
孩子在成长,自然要和别人相处,学会和别人一起生活,但是如果孩子缺乏和别人相处的能力,就有可能被排斥在外,如果我们没有意义识到这一点,孩子的就可能被阻碍。
曾经遇到过一位妈妈,她的孩子性格特别古怪,经常会因为一点小事和别人吵架,老师调解不了,只好找家长,弄得她心情也很坏。不过,她总觉得,这毕竟只是孩子的小事情,没什么大不了的,所以就没怎么放在心上。
有一天,老师又打来电话了,说是孩子又和别人吵架了,起因是这样的。孩子有一块橡皮,是妈妈到外地的时候特意给她买的,上面有一个很好看的卡通图案,画的是蓝色的天空和一只可爱的鸽子,样子特别可爱,妈妈很喜欢,买回来以后,孩子也很喜欢。在学校画画的进候,孩子把橡皮拿出来了。有的小朋友就说:
“毛毛,你的橡皮真好看,我也很喜欢。”
毛毛当然很高兴,于是愉快的说:“那当然,这是我妈妈特意从外地给我买回来的。”
那个小朋友就接着问:“上面的图案是什么呢?一定是一只白鸽子吧。”
毛毛说:“这不是鸽子,这是喜鹊。”
那个小朋友说:“这明明就是一只鸽子嘛!”
毛毛则固执的说:“就不是,这不是鸽子。”
结果,就是因为这一点小事,两个人吵起来了,还打起架来,两个孩子都哭了起来,老师弄清楚原因之后,又看了橡皮上的图案,认为那位小朋友说的是对的。
可是面对老师的“裁决”,毛毛还是不服气,觉得老师不偏向自己。
没办法,老师只好把情况和妈妈说了,希望妈妈能够帮着协商解决。而且,因为这件事,班里别的小朋友都不敢和毛毛来往了,因为都知道她性格不好,不能说她的不是。
这样,孩子在学校就感到很孤立,对妈妈说:“我不想去幼儿园了,他们都不理我。”
这让妈妈也很困惑。
孩子在成长,在和小伙伴的相处中他们也会遇到很多问题,比如:
与别的小朋友吵架了;
别的小朋友不和自己一起玩;
与小伙伴们相处的时候,自己受到了委屈;
为什么别的小朋友不欢迎自己;
不知道该怎样和老师相处和交流;
不知道怎样融入集体;
觉得被孤立,不知道怎么办;
等等
离开了父母,在学校这个小小的“社会”里,孩子就需要学会和别人一起生活,不会和别人相处,自然会影响到孩子在学校的学习和生活,乃至影响到他们将来的成长。
有一位大学老师,给我讲过这样一个故事。
她班里有一位学生,有着傲人的天赋,高中毕业的时候,以当地高考状元的身份考入一所著名的理工大学。在大学里,他刻苦学习,学习成绩优异,又以保送生的身份读了研究生。
在大学期间,他继续努力学习,每天主要的任务就是在宿舍、教室之间往来。在读研究生之后,指导老师看到他基础知识很扎实,又踏实肯干,就让他参与到自己的一些研究项目中去。为了完成这些项目,他需要经常走出校门,到外面的实验室里去做实验。
有一天,指导老师突然接到一个电话,电话是从这个男孩所在的单位打来的,电话里,有人对他说:
“你们为什么要派××(就是那个男孩)来呢?”
指导老师感到很惊讶:“因为他是我们这里成绩最好的学生啊!”
电话那个人也很惊讶:“是吗?可是我们一点都看不出来,只觉得这个人很孤僻,很难相处。”
原来,这个男孩虽然有着出众的专业知识,但因为从小就钻在书堆里一心苦读,连基本的与别人相触的常识都没有,一到新的岗位,大家等着他能够把自己的知识贡献出来,一起把事情做好,可是这个男孩,性格很孤僻,不擅于合作,每天一到单位,就自己忙碌起来,也不和别人说话。大家在一旁看着,不知道他在干什么,想问他,看到他很专心的样子又不知道该问些什么。
一连几天过去了,大家都不知道这个高才生在搞什么名堂,只好给他的指导老师打电话。
作为父母,看到这种情况,我们可以得到什么启发?
孩子离开我们,到学校里去,但不等于就完全脱离我们了。面对新的生活环境,面对生活中的“矛盾”,如果我们不能够帮助他们解决,他们就会感到害怕,不愿意再和别人相处,有的还会和别人吵架,甚至自己封闭起来。
孩子不愿意和别人交往,不会和别人交往,久而久之,性格就可能变得孤僻,爱发脾气,不会和别人相处,这样,他们长大了以后,也可能把这种行为方式带到生活中,总和别人闹矛盾,这样,他们就很难取得成功。
所以,我们应该注意从小培养孩子的交往能力,告诉他们怎样和别人一起生活,一起学习,这样,孩子将许多方面受益:
他将成为一个自信、乐观的人;
他将成为一个心胸宽广、宽容大度、心灵健康的人;
他将懂得如何关心别人,也懂得如何得到别人的爱,将拥有许多的朋友;
他将具备很强的与别人合作的能力,知道怎样与别人合作,直到取得成功。
……

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Brand Jingdong book
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