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妈妈这样说青春期的孩子才愿意听

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Jingdong book

妈妈这样说青春期的孩子才愿意听

Name: 妈妈这样说 青春期的孩子才愿意听
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3113019361
Price: 30.88 USD
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这本书会让成人俯下身倾听孩子的内心，然后把青春期孩子内心上升到成人的水平。
青春期是每个孩子由儿童向成人过渡的时期，青春期教育的成功与否决定着孩子的一生。青春期孩子的身心发生着迅速的变化，这些变化会使少年产生困扰、自卑、不安、焦虑等心理问题，严重的还会产生叛逆、早恋等不良行为。

面对青春期孩子成长的症结，爸爸妈妈不能采用简单粗暴地方法训斥打骂孩子。
父母可以帮助孩子成为一个具有优良品德的人，一个真正优秀的人。
教育专家在本书中将指导父母掌握沟通和引导技巧，帮助父母和孩子搭建起一个有效顺畅交流的平台。

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本书将搭起父母与青春期孩子沟通的桥梁,帮助父母学会一种让孩子听话的神奇语言。书中通过一个个身边的家庭情景对话开始，使父母走进孩子内心的真实世界，切身体会到孩子内心的感受。教育心理学专家通过一系列实用有效的方法，帮助家长学习采用孩子乐于接受的表达方式，营造出和谐融洽的家庭氛围。家长会发现孩子变得不同寻常地愿意与父母配合,最终会引导青春期孩子成长为一个优秀的人。

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一、沟通中最根本的错/001

“以前和儿子沟通很容易，但现在他16岁了，我很难知道他到底在想什么。他总是把自己关在屋里，从不和我们主动交谈。”一位母亲说。
“以前不管我说什么，女儿总是兴致勃勃的，很想听。现在她15岁了，觉得我不可能理解她，和我谈话没有三分钟就走了。”另一位母亲说。
在与青春期孩子沟通的时候，很多家长可能会和上面两位母亲有同感，觉得和孩子你一言我一语，就像双向车道上对开的两辆车那样有来有往，可是，那“擦肩而过”的三两句话，根本不能走进孩子的心灵。与孩子沟通怎么就那么难？会不会是家长不经意间，犯了一些在沟通方面最根本的错？

1. 喋喋不休：过犹不及的沟通/002
2. 期望值过高：没有结果的沟通/005
3. 真假讨论：敷衍的沟通/009
4. 揭旧伤疤：把孩子越推越远的沟通/013
5. 怀疑孩子：对立监视般的沟通/017
6. 过于迁就孩子：让孩子“永不满足”的沟通/020
7. 以学习为借口：搪塞孩子的沟通/023
8. 盘问加威胁：令孩子逆反的沟通/026
9. 不打不成器：无效的沟通/029

二、用爱打下沟通的基础/033

青春期是人生旅途中一个非常美妙、奇异、灿烂的时期，进入青春期的孩子正欣喜地体验着自我意识的觉醒，体验着成长的喜悦，成人心态在他们内心正迅速膨胀。这个时候，家长除了要关注孩子有没有吃饱、有没有穿暖、成绩有没有下滑外，还要关注他们在成长过程中心理上的微妙变化，并顺着孩子的这些微妙变化而适时地改变自己说话做事的风格，调整“以往的教育方式”，为青春期的沟通打下良好的基础。

1. 不要因为工作将孩子遗忘/034
2. 从孩子的角度想问题/037
3. 引导孩子参与聊天/040
4. 用温和的态度对待孩子/044
5. 把“下命令”变成“提建议”/047
6. 父母应适当反省自己的言行/050
7. 了解孩子的另类语言/053

三、避免与孩子发生冲突/055

有人把青春期喻为人生中的“急风暴雨”期，叛逆、倔强、不服管的少男少女和父母的冲突一触即发，而每一次的冲突无疑会将孩子与父母的距离越拉越远。有些孩子在冲突过后甚至会夺门而出，去网吧、去迪厅，甚至彻夜不归……如何避免与孩子发生冲突成为父母在与青春期孩子相处时的必修课。

1. 冷静地对待孩子的气话/056
2. 避免使用易产生冲突的字眼/059
3. 变“对抗”为“对话”/062
4. 别总拿孩子与别人比/064
5. 表达对孩子的同情/067
6. 当孩子埋怨时要多忍耐/070
7. 释放孩子的委屈情绪/073
8. 帮助孩子排解烦恼/078
9. 敏锐地观察孩子的情绪变化/083

四、倾听有助于更好的沟通/087

愿意积极倾听的父母脸上会表现出慈爱，孩子会对这样的父母产生亲密的感觉，因而也会对父母做出类似的反应。因为父母肯倾听孩子的心声，孩子当然也愿意聆听父母的看法。积极的倾听，可以帮助父母在孩子敏感的成长阶段进行更好的沟通。

1. 倾听是和孩子有效沟通的前提/088
2. 主动向孩子倾诉感受/093
3. 重述孩子的感受让孩子乐意侃侃而谈/096
4. 注意孩子的体态语言/099
5. 读懂孩子的眼神/103
6. 听懂孩子的“弦外之音”/107
7. 把话语权还给孩子/110
8. 成为孩子的倾诉对象/114

五、多说孩子“爱听”的话/117

心理学家说“人最本质的需要是渴望被肯定”，青春期的孩子同样喜欢听“好听”的话，如果父母说得有技巧，那么它会比批评、打骂都更容易达到预期的效果。可是，青春期的孩子已经不是思维简单的小朋友了，诸如“你真行”、“你真棒”、“妈妈相信你是最好的”，这些针对性不强、不够具体的“好话”，已经满足不了孩子，所以，对青春期的孩子说他们“爱听”的话，也是要讲究方法的。

1. 赏识的言语让孩子乐意与父母沟通/118
2. 真实、具体的肯定最有效/121
3. 用肯定和赏识替代否定和贬斥/124
4. 别让孩子走向自负的极端/127
5. 学会向孩子道歉/131
6. 给批评留一点位置/135

六、沟通的过程需要宽容/139

孩子在每个成长阶段，都需要父母的安慰、鼓励、理解和支持。当初他离开母乳，离开婴儿车，可以独立地进食，独立地行走，独立地用语言表达时，世界第一次向他展开了广阔的空间，而青春期带给孩子的是另一个全新的世界！走进这个世界的孩子，已经有力量去自我蜕变，而父母最需要做的就是在一旁注视着他，当他犯错的时候，微笑着欢迎他回家；当他受伤的时候，给他吹吹伤口，擦点药。

1. 原谅“顶嘴”的孩子/140
2. 正确对待隐瞒错误的孩子/143
3. 别总是追究孩子的错误/146
4. 用温和的态度对待做错事的孩子/149
5. 用谅解感化孩子/152
6. 不妨幽他一默/155
7. 善待失败的孩子/157

七、这样惩罚孩子最科学/161

从父母的角度来说，惩罚主要是为了孩子好，但是，几乎所有父母都不愿意看到孩子因为自己的惩罚而变得情绪低落，没有自信心、自尊心；或者整天小心翼翼，像行走在雷区一样，生怕走错了一点而踏响地雷；更不愿看到孩子因自己的惩罚而产生“抗药性”，觉得一切都无所谓，批评、不批评一个样……由于青春期的孩子不成熟的心理，他们很可能会因为父母“为了孩子好”的惩罚，变成这副模样。所以，请不要任意惩罚孩子，而是努力去寻找科学、正确的惩罚孩子的方法。

1. 父母关于惩罚的观点要一致/162
2. 孩子应该受到怎样的惩罚/165
3. 规矩要严格，但是要公平/169
4. 让孩子品尝一下“苦果”/173
5. 发怒三步骤/177
6. 让孩子学会自我反省/181
7. 监督比惩罚更重要/184

八、“敏感问题”的沟通方式/187

有人说青春期是“多事期”：早恋，网瘾，厌学，性困惑……面对青春期的这些敏感问题，有的父母束手无策，有的父母伤心失落。青春期是人生的必经期，谁也不能逾越它，谁也不能逃避它。面对孩子身上出现的各种各样的棘手问题，家长要和孩子进行和谐的亲子沟通，给出切实的指导和建议。

1. 如何帮助网络成瘾的孩子/188
2. 正视孩子逃学的行为/192
3. 正确对待孩子的早恋问题/194
4. 别让孩子跨过爱的禁区/199
5. 引导孩子正确对待性成熟/201
6. 让孩子远离赌博场所/205
7. 警惕“黄毒”害了孩子/209

九、特殊家庭更需要沟通/213

单亲家庭的孩子；离异家庭的孩子；长期住校或寄养别处，与父母缺乏沟通的孩子……对于这些特殊家庭的孩子，时间不会因为他们坎坷的经历而停下脚步。这些孩子更需要亲人的悉心关怀，更需要理解与支持。

1. 如何与孩子谈离婚/214
2. 单亲家庭的孩子更需要沟通/217
3. 当更年期“撞上”青春期/221
4. 寄宿、寄养不能让爱止步/225

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妈妈这样说 青春期的孩子才愿意听

妈妈这样说青春期的孩子才愿意听