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Jingdong book

天生敏感

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天生敏感

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Content Description

《天生敏感》是一部为高度敏感者而写的书。高度敏感这一特质长期以来不被认识,或被误解,而且往往被混同为内向、羞怯、拘谨等带着负面含义的性格标签。

本书作者作为一个高度敏感者,通过自己的亲身经历以及深入研究,让读者认识到敏感特质是客观存在的,有天生的遗传倾向;最重要的是,敏感特质并不是一种缺陷,高度敏感的人有自己独特的天赋和创造力!

如果你是一位高度敏感者,或者你的孩子、配偶、朋友是高度敏感者,你就应该打开这本书。你打开它,它就为你打开世界。重新认识自己,获得新的精神能量。这是一部及时的书,一部温暖的书,一部帮助无数人走向积极的书。

Author Description

伊莱恩·阿伦,心理学研究者、大学教授、心理医生和作家,亲密关系研究和高度敏感者研究领域的领先者,也是一名高度敏感者。
Catalogue

序言 | 1
阅读指南 | 9
自我测试:你是高度敏感者吗? | 10
第1章 敏感特质令你与众不同 |1
敏感的身体、敏感的心灵,带给你敏锐的直觉、洞察力、创造力、热情,更带给你灵性。
克里斯汀的误解 / 2
“别紧张,你只是生性敏感” / 3
克里斯汀危险的一年 / 4
高度敏感的两点事实 / 5
天资的两面性 / 6
压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草 / 8
激动,并非恐惧 / 9
敏感特质令你与众不同 / 10
“我的敏感特质是遗传的吗?” / 12
你属于理想性格吗? / 14
心理学上的偏见 / 16
你是参谋还是勇士? / 17
查尔斯的故事 / 18
自豪的理由 / 20
第2章 深入探索敏感特质 |23
一种天生的特质。敏感切实存在,无须烦恼。
罗布和丽贝卡 / 24
不同的睡眠状况 / 25
同一天晚上,不同的故事 / 25
为敏感的罗布画像 / 27
一种天生的特质 / 28
大脑的两个系统 / 30
成长经历影响敏感 / 31
皮质醇与睡眠 / 33
深层心理 / 35
敏感切实存在、无须烦恼 / 37
第3章 请呵护你的身体自我 |39
照料自己。倾听自己。为敏感创造一个安全的港湾。
身体与婴儿 / 40
你和你的照料者 / 41
安全感与高度敏感的身体 / 42
参与过度与封闭过度 / 45
封闭过度 / 47
参与过度 / 48
保持平衡 / 50
各种类型的休息 / 51
防止过度激动的对策 / 54
生命的港湾 / 58
界限 / 59
听,婴儿/身体自我在倾诉 / 60
第4章 重塑过去,学会做自己的父母 |65
积累点滴信心和希望来代替沮丧,任何时候都不嫌晚。
玛莎:一个聪明的小姑娘 / 67
与大“野兽”们一起长大 / 68
鸡笼里的小仙女 / 69
安全感的保护 / 70
你真的喜欢这样吗? / 72
童年幸福的高度敏感者 / 73
外部世界中的新恐惧 / 74
敏感的小男孩和小女孩 / 75
学会做自己的父母 / 78
前进还是退缩 / 79
慢慢来 / 80
你的学校生涯 / 81
男生,女生 / 83
天才的特权 / 83
为“天才”的自己做父母 / 84
高度敏感的青春期 / 85
长大成人 / 87
第5章 生性敏感者如何学会更多社交技巧 |91
保持自己的特点。你有自己的优势。
你一直是个羞怯的人吗? / 92
从自我概念中删除“羞怯” / 93
自称羞怯会最终成真 / 94
“社交不适症”只是暂时的 / 96
社交场合处理过激状态5法 / 97
敏感性的内向与外向 / 99
世界需要各种类型的人 / 101
内敛的交友方式也不错 / 102
人格面具和得体举止 / 104
学会更多社交技巧 / 105
宝拉的故事 / 107
社交困境中的救场办法 / 109
我学肚皮舞的经历 / 112
第6章 跟随天分应对职业 |119
只要找到适合自己的方式,几乎没有什么事情是你做不到的。
高度敏感者的职业 / 120
去做令你受到召唤的工作 / 121
培养决断力和自信 / 123
把热爱的职业变成赚钱的工作 / 125
以艺术为职业 / 127
以助人为职业 / 129
不要累垮自己:教师格雷格的经验 / 130
商界中的高度敏感者 / 131
天才的高度敏感者应对工作关系 / 131
说服别人欣赏自己的敏感特质 / 134
学习与培训 / 135
争取舒适的工作环境 / 136
以不一样的方式争取晋升 / 136
贝特的职场风云 / 138
可以避免的和无法避免的遗憾 / 140
第7章 高度敏感者的亲密关系 |143
爱,因敏感而丰富:浓烈,柔软,神圣,细腻,思索,宽容,勇气……
暴风骤雨式的爱情 / 146
爱上一个幻象 / 148
不知所措的爱和缺乏安全感的关系 / 149
相爱的两个要素 / 152
高度敏感者更容易堕入情网 / 152
友情,胜似爱情 / 154
进退不决的恋爱舞步 / 155
高度敏感者之间的亲密关系 / 156
如果对方不是高度敏感者 / 157
满足自己的独处需要 / 160
坦诚沟通的勇气 / 162
冲突时暂停一下 / 163
反馈式倾听 / 164
在亲密关系中找到自己 / 167
高度敏感者和养育孩子 / 169
敏感性使你的亲密关系丰富多彩 / 170
第8章 独特的疗愈过程 |173
最艰巨的任务并不是回避外在世界,而是走出内心。学习带着自己的敏感性生活下去。
怀念德雷克 / 174
创伤并非不可逾越的深渊 / 175
丹努力活下来了 / 176
对自己抱有极大的耐心 / 179
四种疗愈方法 / 180
我最推荐的心理疗法 / 186
关于心理疗法的几点观察 / 186
第9章 心灵与精神:真正的财富 |191
听从心灵的呼唤,在不完美中追求完整。
高度敏感者的四个明显迹象 / 192
创造神圣的空间 / 195
探索心灵与精神文化 / 196
寻觅生命意义,激励他人 / 198
引领追求完整的过程 / 200
高度敏感者的价值 / 204
第10章 寻求专业帮助 |207
独特的身心,需要独特的关照。
敏感特质对医疗方式的影响 / 208
是否要服药? / 211
抗抑郁药怎样作用 / 213
血清素与高度敏感者 / 215
你希望服用SSRI类药物改变敏感特质吗? / 216
如果你准备服药(或已经服药) / 217
给支持者的建议 |220
作者补记:高度敏感者研究的科学背景 |223
Book Abstract

克里斯汀的误解
克里斯汀是我的调研对象。她是个眼神清澈、充满智慧的大学生。但我们的访谈刚开始没多久,她的声音就开始颤抖。
“很抱歉,”她低声说,”我报名参加访谈,就是为了见您,因为您是一位心理学家——”她连音调都变了,“我是不是疯了?”她心里显然充满了绝望,但从她到目前为止所说的话中,我看不出任何精神疾病的迹象——我已经见过不少这样的人。
她随即再次开口:“我觉得我跟别人不一样。我的童年几乎可以说是无忧无虑的,至少在不得不去上学之前是很快乐的。
“但是在幼儿园里,我害怕所有的一切。上音乐课时,他们在锣鼓上敲敲打打,发出叮叮咚咚的声音,我就会用手捂住耳朵,哭起来。
“在小学里,虽然我一直是老师们的宠儿,但他们也说我有点‘怪怪的’。”
克里斯汀的“古怪”,使她不得不接受身心两方面的测试,一大堆烦人的检查。首先是智商测试,结果,她非但不存在智力障碍,反而被招入了天才儿童学习班。
但她的表现仍然令人们觉得“这孩子有点不正常”。于是她又接受了听力测试,结果一切正常。四年级时,她又接受了大脑扫描,因为有人认为根本原因是轻微的癫痫发作。但她的大脑完全正常。
最终的诊断结果称,她的问题是“无法屏蔽外界刺激”。但所有这一切,已经使这个孩子相信自己是有缺陷的。
“别紧张,你只是生性敏感”
实际上,克里斯汀是一个高度敏感者。
对她的这个诊断本身没有什么错。高度敏感者会注意到其他人都不会察觉到的一切细微之处。别人习以为常的事物,比如刺耳的音乐或拥挤的人群,对于高度敏感者来说,却会带来强烈刺激,令他们感到紧张。
大多数人都能够无视警报声、耀眼的灯光、奇怪的味道、嘈杂混乱的环境。然而这一切都会为高度敏感者带来困扰。 大多数人在商场或博物馆里逛了一天后,也许都会觉得腿软,但如果有人建议晚上一起聚会,他们还是能打起精神的。可是对于高度敏感者来说,这样的一天之后,他们需要独处的时间。他们已经心烦意乱、焦躁无比。
大多数人走进房间,也许会注意到里面的人、里面的家具,仅此而已。而高度敏感者却会立即感觉到,房间里的气氛如何,是友好还是充满敌意;室内空气是新鲜还是污浊,甚至会注意到摆放鲜花的人具有怎样的个性,无论他们是否真的希望感觉到这么多的东西。
如果你是个高度敏感者,人们很难意识到你具有某些特别的才能。你往往只会注意到自己的容忍能力比别人差,却不知道自己属于一个特殊的群体。这个群体中的人常常表现出非凡的创造力、洞察力、热情和爱心,所有这些都是整个社会高度赞赏的品质。
但是,每个人都是一个整体。敏感特质意味着我们是谨慎的、内向的,需要更多独处的时间。不具备这种特质的人(也就是大多数人),无法理解我们,只会认为我们怯懦、害羞、软弱、不合群(这是最重的罪名)。因为害怕被贴上这些标签,所以我们尽量表现得和其他人一样。但这样做只会使我们变得焦躁不安、痛苦不堪。于是我们又会被别人贴上异类、有毛病、神经过敏,甚至神经病或疯子的标签,到了后来连自己也相信了这些标签。
克里斯汀危险的一年
每个人迟早都会经历充满压力的紧张生活,而高度敏感者对这种刺激的反应尤为强烈。如果你把这种反应视为一种基本缺陷,就会使生活危机带来的压力更加严重。随之而来的将是绝望无助的感觉,仿佛自己一无是处。
以克里斯汀为例,她进入大学的第一年就遇到了这种危机。克里斯汀之前就读于一家低调朴实的私立高中,从未离开过家乡。现在她突然要和一群陌生人一起生活,被埋在一大堆课程和书本中,而且总是受到过度刺激。
她恋爱了,一见钟情,深深坠入情网(高度敏感者的典型特征)。不久之后,她到日本去见男朋友的家人,这本来就已经够让她害怕的了。在日本,用她的话来说,她都快“失去理智”了。
……

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Jingdong book