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Jingdong book

你其实不懂儿童心理学

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你其实不懂儿童心理学

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是的,你就是觉得你的孩子那么捣蛋,那么惹你不放心。你就是觉得甲乙丙丁的孩子懂事和优秀。你苦苦烦恼着,就是找不到通往“心有灵犀”的道路。
可是,这场“教育战争”中,失败的主角正是你自己。因为--
你从来没有安静的走进过孩子的心里。你没有想成为孩子的“避雷针”,也没有送孩子一辆“凯迪拉克”。你,更是从来没有想要成为天才孩子的妈妈。
那么,仔细阅读本书吧。本书视角独到,采用了心理学上的众多的原理来论述儿童日常行为习惯的表面现象下的深层心理机制。你很容易就能发现孩子存在的问题,并能迅速的找到心理学的依据,作出恰当的行之有效的解决方案。
浅显易懂,是它的特色。培养好孩子,做个懂心理学的好父母,你,一定可以!

Catalogue

第一章 做最称职的父母--儿童心理学入门
确定你孩子的性格类型:因材施教
熟悉孩子的常见心理:有的放矢
尊重孩子的安全边际:平等原则
给孩子更好的成长空间:适度关注
爱孩子,更要会爱孩子:细心原则
第二章 从哀叹为什么到知道怎么办--父母的苦恼一扫光
孩子为什么不听话:禁果效应
孩子为什么撒娇:安全效应
孩子为什么怕黑:睡眠障碍
孩子为什么不耐烦:超限效应
孩子为什么忘性大:遗忘曲线规律
孩子为什么人来疯:选择性缄默
孩子为什么爱说谎:心理畸变
孩子为什么坐不住:多动障碍
第三章 言为心声--孩子这么说,父母这么听
“我要!我就要!我还要!”:提防孩子的占有欲
“不要你们帮,让我自己来!”:培养孩子的自信
“好爸爸,快亲我一下啊!”:拒绝孩子的依赖性
“妈妈,我做了个奇怪的梦!”:引导孩子的沟通欲
“那个是我的!不给他玩!”:建立孩子的自我意识
“你再这样,我真的生气了!”:彰显孩子的独立意识
“我就不听!我就不听!”:拓展孩子的情商
“看看那个老奶奶,她真可怜!”:激发孩子的同理心
第四章 正确解读信号--孩子异常行为背后的心理密码
撕书扔东西:孩子的攻击欲望强
吮吸大拇指:孩子有另类饥渴
怕生不敢说话:孩子患有社交恐惧
奇怪的恋物症:孩子找不到情感寄托
不敢尝试第一次:孩子极度缺乏自信
大声尖叫情绪失控:孩子渴望被关注
可笑的异食癖:孩子不安全感在增强
孩子躲避检查:不可忽视的阉割忧虑
第五章 孩子不爱学习怎么办--心理学教父母因势利导
椰壳效应:帮孩子克服厌学心理
兴趣心理:让孩子喜欢上学习
成就动机:让孩子主动去学习
感官协同效应:提高孩子的学习效率
7±2 法则:给孩子的学习任务要适量
高原现象:有效应对孩子学习成绩止步不前
倒U 形假说:给孩子适当的压力
马太效应:自信带来成功,成功增强自信
第六章 让你的孩子与众不同--利用心理学法则培养孩子
避雷针效应:及时疏导孩子的坏情绪
凯迪拉克效应:让孩子发挥自己的特色
洛克定律:有专一目标,才有专注行动
甘地夫人法则:让孩子从容面对挫折
南风效应:宽容比惩罚更有效
罗森塔尔效应:有一种期望可以激励孩子
狐狸法则:培养孩子的独立性
亲和效应:让孩子拥有好人缘
第七章“ 坏孩子”父母造--父母不可不知的心理教育误区
父母行使否决权,破坏了首因效应
父母爱唠叨,孩子容易患上心理疾病
父母一味溺爱,导致孩子的任性
父母的占有欲,刺激孩子的自私
父母开空头支票,让孩子习惯撒谎
父母使用冷暴力,给孩子带来一生的阴影
父母互相拆台,导致孩子的自闭心理
父母高期望,孩子在压力下否定自我

Introduction

序:父母是孩子最好的心理医生
心理学家皮亚杰毕生致力于儿童心理的研究,为20世纪亲子教育的发展提供了大量的实验资料和理论指导。他在当代最新心理学成就的基础上,创立了认知结构主义儿童心理学理论,强调要根据儿童的自身阶段、结合儿童的心理特征,对儿童进行卓有成效的亲子教育。这个理论为亲子教育打开了全新的视野。如果父母不了解自己孩子的心理,那么在对孩子的智商、情商教育上,就会出现很多问题,轻者事倍功半,重者甚至出现反面效果。因此,有专家呼吁,父母必须要懂一点儿童心理学,做自己孩子的心理医生。
随着电视、网络的普及,孩子越来越成人化。这种心理变化让很多父母措手不及,孩子们不再是他们眼中的“小小人”,孩子们的童年经历跟他们自己的童年经历完全不一样了。很多父母因为准备不足,心有余悸:现在的孩子提问题有时很直接,让他们都不知道怎么回答。很多父母因为亲子关系处理得不好,而焦头烂额。
当下的家庭教育有一种普遍的现象,父母本着父爱和母爱,希望孩子全盘接受自己为孩子的安排,而却忽视甚至全然不顾孩子的感受。
父母的动机当然是为孩子好,但是父母的行为未必是对的。当孩子的认识水平远超过父母当年,甚至对父母当下的认识水平也产生了巨大挑战的时候,孩子就会表现出“不懂事”“不能体察父母的良苦用心”,父母的用心良苦和孩子的不领情相碰撞导致亲子关系出现裂痕。父母应该意识到,仅仅以自己的主观意愿来对孩子好,是不对的。其实孩子拥有自己的判断力和诉求,这对孩子和父母来说都是好事,但很多父母却感觉备受打击。这种情况的出现,是因为很多父母觉得,孩子不好管,胆大妄为,目无尊长;有时显得过于自我了,也不会体谅别人;不求上进,不能理解父母的苦心等等。父母为此苦恼不已,却找不到行之有效的解决方法。
事实上,父母纠结于这些表面问题,而忘了如何去寻找最根本的解决方法。父母对孩子的爱没有改变,孩子对父母的依赖也没有改变。父母是孩子的第一位老师,家庭是孩子的第一所学校。从古至今,这些都是言之凿凿的。不过由于社会环境的变化,情况发生了变化,或者说是,亲子关系中一直存在的问题,也产生了相应的变化。智商情商教育在亲子教育中一直是不可或缺的环节,但孩子的心理健康问题越来越受到重视,甚至成为了心理学的重要分支,即儿童心理学。心理学家指出,孩子的心理健康会影响孩子的一生,关乎孩子的幸福指数,因而也是父母避不开的话题。
父母应该知晓孩子常见的一些心理疾病的起因、伤害程度等。例如,孩子在一种不健康的环境下会形成的心理扭曲,导致可怕的心理疾病。这种疾病会让孩子做出过激的举动,伤害自己和他人。即使一般的心理疾病,对个体的伤害也是远远超过我们的预判。例如自闭症患者、极度缺失安全感以及恋物癖等等。至于其他一些更常见心理问题,诸如自负、依赖、自私等,虽然很难摆脱,但可以将其反面程度减至最低,以其正面的影响对孩子的人际关系和个人成就等提供帮助,消除阻力和破坏作用。
从孩子的出生到成人,其中经历的点点滴滴,对于孩子的一生来说,都在形成蝴蝶效应。孩子的典型人格可能是因为父母的某些行为得到了确立和强化,孩子的劣势心理和负面情绪也是因为父母的视而不见而根深蒂固。就此而言,在某程度上,孩子的心理问题,父母是帮凶。父母一定要意识到,对于孩子来说,只有心理健康,才有美好的未来,心理不健康的人或者被生活牢牢压抑,或者对社会和他人做出伤害。因而,对于父母来说,亲子教育应该侧重于心理教育,每一对父母都应该懂得生活中常见的儿童心理学法则,做好孩子的心理医生。孩子的言行举止,都可以在儿童心理学中找到对应的揭秘法则。父母熟悉并掌握了心理学,就好像有了“火眼金睛”,孩子的负面情绪和不健康心理都将清清楚楚地展现在面前,然后再结合对应的方法,成功的亲子教育将不再是难事。
本书结合生活中常见的亲子关系,通过对孩子常见言行的深入剖析,比较其背后隐藏的心理发展历程以及可能出现的心理问题,总结出父母需要掌握的心理学法则,期望让所有的父母都掌握这一套完美而成功的教育模式。
当父母学会解读孩子的行为和情绪,就能因势利导,帮助孩子建立一生受益的习惯和技能。即使孩子出现了心理异常,父母也不再一筹莫展、束手无策,而是有了明确的诊断和有效的治疗方法,迅速地将这些消灭在萌芽之际。比如,通过对孩子说什么和做什么的外在行为表现,我们能知道孩子内在的真实目的。父母不会再因为不懂心理学,而误将孩子正常的举动视为乖张的行为,也不会对孩子因为一些心理疾病而流露出来的古怪举动熟视无睹。
同时,对孩子心理的了解和把握,反过来对父母也提出了较高的要求,让父母对自己行为背后的心理学密码有所了解。教学相长,孩子和父母的心理都得到了有效的清理和健全,这是儿童心理学最大的收获。
希望所有的父母都不再为不了解孩子的心理而烦恼,也不再为自己的教育无效而忧愁,更不必因为某些显而易见的教育误区,给孩子的心理带来不好的影响。当父母成为了孩子的心理医生,对孩子的教育就会起到事半功倍的作用。

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Brand Jingdong book
Brand Origin China

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Jingdong book