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Jingdong book

恋爱心理学:愿你被男人温柔相待

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关于男人,你只需要搞定一个,却要了解这个物种的全体和全部!

谁不曾苦苦追寻,谁不曾伤痕累累?

然而,爱情与婚姻终究是每个女人这辈子重要的修行!

关于男人,你究竟了解多少?

他们为什么坠入爱河?为什么忽冷忽热?又为什么逃之夭夭?

如何判断男人已经爱上了你,还是跟你玩玩而已?

用什么方法可以让一个原本不想结婚的男人甘心给你戴上结婚戒指?

为何许多经历过时间考验的情侣却在筹备婚礼时分了手?

让婚姻幸福美满的秘诀是什么?

做一个爱情“黑客”,闯入男人潜意识看一看

男人的潜意识里有两张名单,一张是“短期交往”,一张是“娶回家”。

男人会在不经意间试探他所交往的每一个女人。

大多数男人不会因为性感而娶一个女人。

越是成功的男人,越惧怕物质女。

男人在爱情里并不相信自己的耳朵。

…………

读完这本书,你就会找到答案。

愿你被男人温柔相待,愿所有美好如期而至!


Content Description

具实战价值的爱情进阶指南

这本书并不是心灵鸡汤,确切地说,它是一本爱情操作指南。

它会把你从童话中叫醒,让你看一看爱情的真实模样,看一看身边那个男人——他的内心究竟在想什么,在乎什么,逃避什么。如果你倾心尽力付出的却不是对方想要的,如果你铭心刻骨的爱对方却一点也感受不到,那么这份爱就像是在黑暗中前行的列车,连你自己也不知道会开往哪里。

把爱情掌握在自己手中还是寄托在别人身上?选择权在你。


Author Description

乐子丫头,

中国贴心的情感咨询师

19岁起陆续在杂志上发表文章。大学毕业后从事旅游策划工作,活跃于本地媒体,为多档电台和电视节目特邀嘉宾。

30岁创业做旅游定制,同时也是一个皇冠淘宝店主,还曾在魔兽世界里创建过一个四百人的公会,拥有各种类别粉丝数十万人。

2008年,在天涯社区连载情感工具贴,连续三张点击率破百万。2014至2015年,连载《黄Y的婚后大战》《小八的婚恋史》《捣蛋媳妇王小茹》等情感文章,被网友争相转载,总点击率过千万。

2016年首创“倾诉型”微平台,依托微信公众号为网友解决情感问题,并建立情感点评团、暖途等优质社群。


Catalogue

第一章 爱情“黑客”,闯入男人潜意识

男人潜意识里隐藏的秘密

女人被误导的8件事

男人在爱情中常说的谎言

第二章 整容?不如给内心做次整形

改变由内而外

摆脱阴影,远离毒源

写下5个幸福关键词

第三章 缺乏安全感是一种“妇科病”

女人为何总缺乏安全感

克服交流强迫症

不做“柴火女人”

第四章 没有真命天子

甲之蜜糖,乙之砒霜

警惕5种男人的陷阱

婚姻和爱情的不等式

第五章 爱情顺不顺,开局是关键

学会恋爱拖延术

识破考验,升华感情

表现柔娇嗔,下手稳准狠

如何判断男人已经爱上你

第六章 稳稳搞定“拖婚男”

战胜多巴胺

成为未婚妻

不得不谈的问题——性

对“拖婚男”的致命一击

第七章 让男人死心塌地的方法

择偶观和择爱观

解析男人的择爱观

男人的爱情轨迹

第八章 父母公婆的度量衡

认生和护短都是本能

成为公婆的自己人

择婿如择偶

第九章 婚姻开头难

筹婚期OR愁婚期?

新婚,旧观念统统抛到一边

男人想要怎样的婚姻


Book Abstract

男人潜意识里隐藏的秘密

秘密一:男人也需要安全感

男人非常需要安全感,但他们通常不会像女人那样因为丢失安全感而闹情绪。当男人和一个女人交往的时候,他的潜意识始终在思考着两件事:(一)她和我交往的动机是什么?(二)她会对我忠诚吗?

男人在婚后最大的恐惧莫过于妻子的不忠,在他们的潜意识里,越难于被打动、越珍爱自己身体的女人越忠实可靠。但他们绝不会告诉你这个秘密,因为男人都有一种征服欲,从动物性的角度来说,雄性动物始终在争夺“广泛播种权”。无论和怎样的女人交往,男人大都想要与之发生性关系。可是如果轻而易举就得到的话,他又会本能地退缩,因为潜意识会提醒他:你能轻易和他发生性关系,也可能会轻易就范于任何一个讨好你的男人,这样的女人对于婚姻来说太没有安全感了。

刘莉莉和苏东通过网络相识,恋爱两个多月后,在苏东的软磨硬泡之下,刘莉莉半推半就地献出了自己的处女之身。发生关系之后,刘莉莉还没忘记提醒苏东:“你是我的第一个男人。”可那一瞬间她从苏东脸上看到的不是怜惜,不是兴奋,而是不耐烦。

这段关系最终维持了四个月,以苏东的抱歉分手和刘莉莉的痛哭流涕而收场。

我们来采访一下苏东:“刘莉莉把初夜献给了你,你为什么不对她负责呢?”

“因为我觉得她是一个对自己不负责任的女人,她根本不了解我,就和我上了床。”苏东回答。

“那可是她的初夜啊!”

“那是因为没有人像我这样取悦和讨好她。假设有人这么做,她也会轻易和他们上床。”

足以让所有女人大跌眼镜的回答,荷尔蒙退去之后,男人成了行为分析大师。哈!面对大师你可要小心谨慎才行。不要以为男人只是用下半身思考的动物,在择偶方面,他们异常理性。一旦他觉得你会轻易和男人发生性关系,他的婚姻大门可能就会永远对你关闭了。

如此说来,在恋爱当中就不应该有性爱了吗?不是的,请将性爱放在男人真正爱上你和尊敬你之后。如果一个男人因为你不和他上床就扬言要离开你,那么就让他离开好了。

秘密二:男人潜意识里有两张名单

男人的潜意识里有两张名单,一张是“短期交往”,一张是“娶回家”。

越是成熟的男人,择偶标准就越清晰。这些标准隐藏在男人的潜意识里,绝对不会让你知道。有些女人为男人付出了多年青春都无法进入婚姻,她们不会想到男人压根儿就没把她当成妻子的人选。男人占有着短期交往的女人,却在期待着更适合做妻子的女人出现。

没有哪个男人会在短期交往的女人身上花太多心思,这种女人就像是一件衣服,穿旧了就会想要去买下一件;而对于娶回家的女人,男人愿意花费时间和精力。因为妻子就像一间房子,对男人来说是稳定的、牢靠的,需要用感情去点缀。

然而,男人的标准并非一成不变的,有些原本仅仅是想短期交往的女人,如果她们能懂得进退之道,表现出自信独立的一面,也会让男人刮目相看,重新思考对她的感情;同理,有些原本想要娶回家的女人由于不自重,总是踩到雷区,也会被男人从娶回家的名单里给剔除掉。

秘密三:男人会引导你发生性关系吗?是的!

前面我们说过,男性的潜意识里都有一种征服欲,促使他把女人往“发生性关系”的方向引导。这和他是否真心喜欢你无关,他的动机仅仅是上床。

对于短期交往的女人,男人往往很快就会提出性行为的要求。他不会花费太多时间关心她的日常生活,了解她的兴趣爱好。但对于想娶回家的女人,男人通常不会急于发生关系,他会花时间和她约会、陪她聊天、关心她的喜怒哀乐,因为她的思想和身体对他来说同样具有吸引力。但这并不能使男人克制住想要得到她身体的欲望,当关系进一步发展,他还是会把她往上床的方向引导。

矛盾的是,男人一方面非常渴望得到女人的身体,一方面又希望自己的妻子是个烈女。所以男人如果真心喜欢一个女人,就算仍然急切地想要和她发生关系,潜意识里却并不希望她太快答应。可惜大多数女人并不了解男人的潜意识,轻易就接受了他们的引导。

男人会用哪些方法引导女人发生性关系呢?

◆提出想和你共处一室聊聊天的请求。

◆提出想拥抱或亲吻的请求。

◆表示自己“很难受”,希望你能“解救他”。

◆“反正我们结婚以后也要做的。”

◆“我会对你负责的。”

◆提出一起去旅行,从而获得与你共处一室的机会。

女人必须了解,当你接受和恋爱中的男人共处一室时,在男人看来就是默认与他发生关系。之后哪怕你做任何反抗或推托,都会显得矫情。有些女人在上床之后会为自己辩解:“在那种状况下,我没有办法才和他发生关系。”而男人在心里则会不屑地说:“我又没有逼你,何必假正经呢?”

如果一个男人因为你不答应跟他发生关系就大动肝火,甚至谴责你是保守的老处女,那么表明你可能只是他短期交往的名单中的一员, 而他或许根本没有耐心来关心和了解你。

爱情需要“慢慢来”,要想得到你的身体,就要让他先征服你的心。

秘密四:男人会在不经意间试探他所交往的每一个女人

恋爱中,男人对女人的试探可谓无所不在,因为男人很明白,在恋爱里大家都很善于伪装自己。他想知道你表现出来的甜蜜优雅,究竟是发自内心的还是一种伪装。如果你总是把情绪混乱的一面展现在他面前,那么他就会对是否要娶你回家这件事打个问号。

男人对女人的试探表现在各个方面,譬如:

◆故意不给你打电话发信息,冷落你一段时间。

◆故意在你面前说另一个女人的好话。

◆故意说一些打击你自信心的话,对你的缺点开玩笑,给你起难听的绰号……

如果你为此表现出情绪激动,甚至和他发脾气,他就会认为你是一个没有安全感的女人,你所表现出来的甜蜜优雅只不过是一种伪装,你的内心其实是十分脆弱和情绪化的。可以想象和你结婚以后,当他需要应酬晚归的时候,当他想要和兄弟们喝一杯的时候,当他不小心忽略你的感受的时候,你会有怎样神经质般的表现。

……

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Brand Origin China

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Jingdong book