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KingStone

【繁體】恰如其分的自尊

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KingStone

【繁體】恰如其分的自尊

Name: 【繁體】恰如其分的自尊
Brand: KingStone
SKU: 3136007291
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法國亞馬遜五星心理學暢銷書★★★★★
深受法國讀者喜愛，同時受到韓國、日本、德國、俄羅斯、巴西、西班牙等
十餘個國家的讀者關注與追捧，在全球擁有廣泛受眾基礎。

當一個人沒有自尊心，幸福無從談起；
當一個人總是懷疑自己，很難做出好決定！
自尊不能解釋一切現象，但可以廓清人的很多行為動機和某些行為偏差：

＊不喜歡自己的樣子——總是羡慕別人的美豔脫俗、風流倜儻
＊看不起自己的出身——想不通自己的投胎技術怎麼跟投球技術一樣差
＊不滿意自己的表現——現身在熱鬧的朋友圈便能讓氣氛瞬降冰點的本事貌似無人能及
＊不接納自己的現狀——從小到大一直有要模仿的榜樣，追到吐血卻忽略了自己的獨一無二

於是，各種情緒病、抑鬱症、酗酒、心理創傷紛紛找上門來，日子在緩緩流逝，不開心卻從來不肯遠離……

親愛的，你的自尊生病了！

還好，這種病，有藥可醫……

相信自己、喜愛自己、信賴自己，這些方面統一構成了我們人格中最為基礎的維度之一，當一個人沒有自尊心，幸福無從談起。當一個人總是懷疑自己，很難做出好決定。相反，自尊心太強，又會經常感到受傷。好在，這一切都是可以調整的。

《恰如其分的自尊》幫讀者科學地為自己的自尊心做專業全面的自我體檢，告訴讀者從童年到青少年自尊心如何形成，以及情感生活，伴侶生活，職業生活如何給自尊心帶來重大影響。

除此之外，《恰如其分的自尊》還就如何建立自尊？如何完善自尊？自尊調適過程中會存在哪些主要問題？如何評估自尊……提供具體的解決方法，豐富真實的案例，科學到位的分析、大量名著名片精彩橋段的援引，為這本專業的心理自助書增色不少。

相信自己、喜愛自己、信賴自己，這些方面統一構成了我們人格中最為基礎的維度之一：自尊感。當一個人沒有自尊心，幸福無從談起。當一個人總是懷疑自己，很難做出好決定。相反，自尊心太強，又會經常感到受傷。好在，這一切都是可以調整的。

深層自我探測，真實案例剖析，一本讓你感同身受欲哭還笑能確實操做的心理指南
──幫助我們看見、調整、根治失衡的人生

一路長大，對於旁人或自己留下的傷痕，我們習慣掩蓋，從不用心治癒。當它逐漸沉重、強大時，尊嚴變得黯淡無光，有時甚至會讓我們走不出那片黑暗。對於自己的內在，你了解多少？你或身邊的親人也曾瀕臨崩潰邊緣嗎？為什麼即使是威名顯赫的世界名人，也難逃自尊的摧殘？

本書臨床案例雖無須對號入座，但你所需要的答案和解決方案都在其中：
●1.「自尊水平檢測」看清自我心靈的災情
●2.「臨床症狀案例」學習醫療與自療雙軌對策
●3.「心理精神諮商」認知求診能給予你的協助

預防心理困擾，疏導情緒糾結，療癒精神病根

全方位保養心靈的一本好書，擁有最堅實的理論與最溫柔的療癒方案，學會調整自尊水平，才能真正掌握人生的快樂自決權！

本書特色

一、作者將人群分為四類：
1.高自尊：一向我行我素
2.不穩定的高自尊：一遇挫折就暴跳如雷
3.不穩定的低自尊：順風順水時才翹尾巴
4.穩定的低自尊：永遠低眉順眼。

如書名所示作者希望讀者們擁有的，是一種恰當的自尊，不過高也不過低、既不盲動，也不消沉。

二、本書共分三大部分，從自我檢測開始，進入學理分析、最後提供自我改進方案。

〔讀者迴響摘錄〕掀起歐洲人性自省思潮，華人網評譽讚最溫柔、謙遜的「心理學神作」!

‧作為深入淺出的心理學讀物，我覺得這套叢書值得收藏。─奧莉維深

‧大多數人無法金光閃閃、完美無缺地長大，或多或少都有心理疤痕。這本書對於大眾來說能認識自己，與自己和他人達成和解，擁有恰如其分的自尊，其實就是有了心靈上的自由。─Julia

‧神作，讀了這本書，我才明白我為什麼做事情一直有自己內在的問題，原來是自尊在作祟。推薦讀上十遍!─蘭博基尼

‧本書從各個方面剖析自尊的發展和成因，對比了高、低自尊的優缺點，可以幫助讀者瞭解自己，拓展認知角度。─bluesky

‧簡單易懂，對瞭解自己很有幫助，收穫很大！─匆蔥

‧作者從自尊的角度解釋了生活中的種種問題，並提供建設性的指導，教會我們最終過上想要的生活，成為那個幸運的人。─奔跑的兔子

‧這本書對於我意義非凡，解釋了很多事情，讓人更瞭解自己的問題，然後下手去改進。很讚，力薦！─笑笑笑時差黨

‧難能可貴，很少在self-help類書裡讀到這樣的溫柔和謙遜。─聞夕

‧再次五星推！「說出」和「被看見」是治癒的第一步，據觀察，身邊幾乎不存在沒有自尊問題的人，即便那些每天生活在自戀模式中的人。─匡匡

‧理論很強大，想瞭解人類的自尊可以讀讀這本書。─silence

第一部分：你尊重自己嗎？請自測
第一章自尊心的三大支柱
自愛
自我觀
自信
自尊的平衡
自尊或多重自尊？
自尊的養分

第二章自尊還是自蔑
跟我說說你自己
你有什麼能力？
你是否對失敗和批評特別敏感
面對成功，你如何反應？
生活的動力和自尊
調查問卷1——自尊水平自測
第三章你看不起自己嗎？
低自尊的好處
高自尊的弊端

第四章穩定還是不穩定?
自尊的四大類型
如何判斷自己屬於哪種自尊類型？

第二部分：理解自尊

第五章自尊從哪里來？
自尊成長的第一步
課外活動，無情的世界
給父母的建議
來自父母的壓力以及朋友的壓力
長子和幼子的困擾
學業上取得成功
父母的支持

第六章自尊對成年人的影響
施展魅力不無風險
伴侶關系中的心理調適
一輩子的朋友
辦公室生活
權勢人物

第七章自尊和自我形象
為什麼女孩會自信不足？
女性的完美身體
男人的自戀
美貌帶來的社會優勢和弊端
造型、時尚和自尊
該責怪形象產業嗎？

第八章理論
學會管理自己的渴望
冒不冒風險，是個問題……
鏡像自我
是否應該模仿榜樣？

第三部分：如何維護和修補自尊

第九章自尊方面的疾病
抑郁症
自尊偏差
情結
酗酒
心理創傷
痊愈，要找回自尊

第十章保護自尊的心理調節方法
自尊保護機制
如何保護低自尊？
如何保護高自尊？
要提高自尊，是否應給自己設置阻礙？
日常生活中的自尊

第十一章我愛自己故我在
改變，有可能！
如何調整自尊？
改變的策略
治療
調查問卷2——「如何改變」結論

附錄一
「自尊水平自測」結果
附錄二
「如何改變」自測結果

內容試閱

我不愛我自己……

「小時候，我夢想成為另外一個人。我不喜歡我自己的樣子，不喜歡我擁有的一切。我想要別人的頭發、別人的父母，想生活在另外一個地方。我總覺得別的孩子都比我好，比我漂亮，比我有天賦，比我受歡迎，更得老師的寵愛。我知道有比我更差的人。當我偶爾向我母親傾訴時，她是這麼告訴我的：「你不是最不幸的人，也不是最沒有天賦的人。」在我看來，這根本算不上安慰。此外，當我感到難過時—我經常會感到難過—我根本不相信一切會好起來。我覺得自己是全人類中最無用的那一個。我的青春期一塌糊塗。我常常認為自己很丑，樣子太難看，心裡充滿了各種障礙。慢慢地情況變得好了一點，但今天一旦有個男人愛上我，我知道一定是出了什麼錯。

我想是他看走了眼。他愛上的是一個假象，一個我好不容易打造的假象。他愛上的絕對不是我，不是真正的我。如果我喜歡這個男人，我會感到非常恐懼。如果我們交往，他一定會發現我是個冒牌貨，發現我的各種缺陷，很快就會像我嫌棄自己一樣嫌棄我，然后拋棄我。而我卻不能拋棄自己。我被困在我的身體，討厭我自己，卻不得不與自己孤老終身。

「我的工作也不能給我帶來安慰。其實這是理所當然的，我不相信我自己，做著一個我不太喜歡、遠遠低於我的能力水平又根本不感興趣的工作，日漸麻木。」

「我不愛我自己。」這個年輕的女人已經向我傾訴了半個小時。儘管我當時經驗尚淺，剛完成我的精神治療論文答辯，我直覺不能急於問她各種問題或者說幾句安慰的話。她說著說著就哭起來，然後道歉，擦乾眼淚又繼續說。我一邊聽她說，一邊在腦子裡回顧各種不同的抑鬱症症狀。也許她是患上了抑鬱症。可是她的症狀都對不上。這位年輕女性並不是抑鬱，並非得了真正的抑鬱症。那麼她的情況就沒有那麼嚴重了嗎？我完全不能肯定。她的痛苦在我看來似乎更加深重，源於她的過去，深深紮根於她的內心深處。

後來我才發現，我的這位病人其實是另外一種心理障礙。她聰明貌美，就像人們說的那樣，擁有一切獲得幸福的先決條件，什麼都不缺，只缺一件東西：一點點自尊。

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