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【繁體】啟動高敏感的愛情天賦:幸福是你與生俱來的感受力

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敏感特質是親密關係中的關鍵成分!
超過15年的愛情研究精華,唯一高敏感兩性關係經典著作

高敏感人或許容易被視為在愛中想較多的人,然而不論是否為高敏感人,所有人在戀愛或婚姻中總會面臨「想太多」或「想不透」的困擾,感情裂痕也因此難以彌補。若能了解彼此互愛共存的方法,享受身心靈富足的愛情將不只是美夢。

根據研究,每三對伴侶中就有一對是高敏感關係,而這段關係極有可能非常幸福或是非常失敗。了解敏感的差異對每一對伴侶都息息相關,因為兩個人中總有一人比另一人更敏感。作者透過長期且細膩的高敏感愛情研究,讓人更了解高敏感族在感情中的需求、不適應現象及恐懼,並提供有效的化解之道,使敏感特質成為具有吸引力的幸福力量。

【為何愛總讓人「想太多」?
兩人的相處之中,一定會有一方比較容易「想太多」。了解為想太多的原因,才能避免不必要的誤解及衝突。

•「想太多」就是高敏感人嗎?

•敏感特質是感情的助攻員還是絆腳石?

•男性與女性對情感的看法是否有根本上的不同?

•如何破除自己在愛中的恐懼及不安?

•單身的自己,該如何找到適合的另一半?

•已婚的自己,該如何與另一半幸福相伴?

【個性相似才長久? 南轅北轍就一定走不下去?
愛情沒有標準答案,性格相差較大的兩人能帶來美好互補效應,而相像的兩人也可能因為太了解彼此而分開,找出雙方的真實習性,感情才能長久。

•性格差異大的伴侶有哪些好處或隱憂? 如何替彼此帶來美好的互補?

•性格相近的伴侶在相處上會有哪些好處或隱憂? 如何成為彼此的心靈伴侶?

【為什麼與相愛的人結婚後,沒有變得更快樂?
進入婚姻的彼此可能因為生活、家庭、甚至小孩教養的瑣碎煩事而疲累,原本相愛的夫妻可能因此開始起爭執。然而,衝突和憤怒並不會造成離婚,百分之八十的離婚主因都是「漸行漸遠」,因此,在問題惡化前察覺徵兆並找出解決良方,才是婚姻的長久美滿之道。

【愛的真諦: 幸福與性福的共存】
不論有沒有高敏感特質,單身或有伴,每個人對愛都一樣渴望。了解愛的真義才能建立幸福圓滿的關係。

• 如何突破阻礙,帶給彼此真正的幸福及性福?

• 如何愛自己,並與人建立穩定的親密關係?

• 如何啟動自己的心靈天賦,讓幸福長長久久?

【本書特色】
• 化解障礙,走出感情課題的輪迴
• 建立有愛又不失自我的幸福親密關係
• 不同性格伴侶的美滿兩性相處守則
• 四大檢測,全面剖析自己在兩性關係中的恐懼、性格與內心昇華
1.【高敏感族自我檢測】自己與伴侶的高敏感程度及差異比較
2.【感官刺激追求自我檢測】自己與伴侶對新體驗及感受的渴望程度
3.【親密關係恐懼自我檢測】面對感情時的反應與恐懼
4.【依附型態自我檢測】破除不安的感覺,找回身心安定的自己

目錄

前言 高敏感族愛情的美麗與哀愁

第1章 你是高敏感族嗎?找到愛之前,先找到自己
第2章 高敏感與性別偏見 別讓刻板印象破壞你的愛情
第3章 高敏感與親密恐懼 為愛找到安全感
第4章 高敏感與全心投入 小心別被愛情沖昏頭
第5章 高敏感之異性相吸 性格差異帶來美好的互補
第6章 高敏感之同性相斥 成為相知相惜的心靈伴侶
第7章 高敏感之婚姻課題 從此過著幸福快樂的生活
第8章 高敏感之性福關鍵 感官刺激的體驗追求
第9章 高敏感之心靈體驗 探索內心的小宇宙
致謝

後記

參考文獻

自序/導讀

【本書適用於愛情也適用於友情】

雖然本書主要針對浪漫的愛情,不過一樣適用於友情和親情,許多內容都是共通的:交新朋友、拉近與家人之間的距離、深化與同儕的連結,以及和你欣賞的高敏感族/非高敏感族進行良性的溝通。若沒有其他類型的親近關係,浪漫的愛情必定無法長久。沒有人可以成為另一半的全世界,或者只跟另一半分享一切,尤其高敏感族可能擁有特別豐富又複雜的性格和興趣,需要與人分享,進而受到賞識。如果你的另一半是非高敏感族,那麼你絕對需要同是高敏感族的朋友,而你的另一半也需要同是非高敏感族的朋友。如果你們兩人都是高敏感族,那們你們也會需要各自擁有一些非高敏感族的朋友。

【本書適用於不同階段的感情狀態】

「愛」是人生一大課題。依據不同階段的感情狀態,需求會完全不一樣,你可能正在熱戀中,或是享受兩人世界,或是交往太久而有問題,或是自願或非自願地單身中。因此,先針對不同階段進行說明:

◆如果你是跟另一半(無論是否為高敏感族)一起閱讀本書

你們能一起閱讀本書是最好的了。你們可以為彼此朗誦部分或所有內容。我相信你們會訝異,原來一起檢視自己的性格可以增進你們的關係。

◆如果你有另一半,但對方可能不會跟你一起閱讀本書

沒關係,你可以分享心得,把不錯的篇章朗讀給對方聽,但記得留時間讓對方看完本書。如果對方一點興趣也沒有,千萬別為此困擾。人通常會抗拒某種想法是因為它在某方面已經威脅到他們了。你必須思考的是對方害怕本書的原因,然後慢慢獲得對方的信任,讓對方吐露真言。如果你因此感到生氣和受傷,你就無法取得對方的信任了。

當然,要做到如此是很高但不明智的標準。如果你對另一半不感興趣而難過,或許你不能也不該隱藏自己的難過。請記住,興趣往往稍縱即逝,恐懼感也是如此。人因為被欣賞而感到放鬆、安心的時候,才會願意接納新的想法。只要記得你喜歡對方之處,其他就順其自然吧。

◆如果你是單身

我在寫書的時候,一直掛念著單身者。我遇到非常多單身的高敏感族,無論是自願或非自願。無論目前的感情狀態如何,高敏感族都比其他人更容易被愛塑造。因為高敏感族往往陷得更深,所以會從過往的感情經歷中反思學習。歌德用一句詩句說明這種情操:我愛你,與你無關。

本書談的是愛,而不是關係,因為比起一段關係,愛是更深沉豐富、更個人主觀的「高敏感話題」。我不認為有關感情的書都是由內心導向、追求孤單的人(就像你我一樣)所寫的,他們追求的愛是私人層面。我認為必須要有一本專為高敏感族而寫的書,讓所有高敏感族都能領會。

別忘了我們都需要至交好友,而愛是人類心理學上從未消失的力量。就算是單身,我們每天無時無刻都會想著人,而我們所想的人就是可以去愛的人。人都需要被愛,包括你。我希望本書可以幫助你更愛自己也更愛他人。

◆如果你不是高敏感族

你真的很棒,願意進一步了解高敏感族的另一半和朋友。我很抱歉本書是專為高敏感族而寫的,但我無意排擠非高敏感族,相信你能體諒。

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Brand KingStone
Brand Origin Taiwan
Net Content 1g

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