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Jingdong book

创造自己/刘墉青春修炼手册

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创造自己/刘墉青春修炼手册

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★超过100个走心醒脑的青春成长话题,让你搞定学业,从容社交,拥抱梦想……

★累计销售超过100万册,历经时间考验,经久不衰

★励志大师刘墉化身老朋友,陪你领略青春期的魅力,撕掉青春期中的负能量标签


Content Description

口才出众的刘墉也有说不过孩子的时候。说不过,那就写给他们。于是有了“刘墉青春修炼手册”系列,本书是系列之二。


如何克服拖延症?

如何提升抗压能力?

如何打造自我风格?


在本书中,刘墉以儿子的成长历程为参照,讲述年轻人的自我创造之法。每一处微小的创造,便是拼出一块“有态度”的自己。用刘墉的话说,我们不但要站在人生的舞台,演好这场戏,而且要演出自己的风格,建立自己的精神堡垒。


本系列作品,事例通俗,却寓意深刻;语言幽默,又不乏严谨;其中交织的父爱,真实而热烈。从任意章节里,我们都能找到相似的成长体验与青春话题,获得关于社交处世、品格塑造、读书写作等方面的不二法门与温暖鼓励。


Author Description

刘墉,作家、画家、教育家。

他很有天赋,却信奉“谨慎从事,决不玩票”。他写作,处女作《萤窗小语》一炮而红,而后出版多部畅销作品,成为畅销书作家;他画画,作品经常进入苏富比国际拍卖行;他教书,执教名校,曾任美国纽约圣约翰大学驻校艺术家、圣文森特学院副教授、中国厦门大学客座教授;他育儿,儿女皆就读于名校,儿子毕业于哈佛大学,女儿毕业于哥伦比亚大学。

他用无畏对抗人生,突破家贫的桎梏,考入电视台当记者。然而,如果人生是一条平平的直线,那多没意思!于是他放弃所有,前往美国闯荡,迎来事业的又一次高峰。

刘墉之子刘轩,写作、心理咨询、演说、主持、音乐样样精通。哈佛大学心理学学士、哈佛大学教育学院硕士、哈佛大学人类发展与心理研究博士候选人。刘轩不仅是心理学家,而且曾经就读于茱莉亚音乐学院,在林肯中心举办独奏会。


Catalogue

前言 / 001

原版自序 / 003

第一章  自制

连嬉皮士都懂得自制。

爱的礼物 / 003

为什么不说“不”/ 008

迟到大王 / 014

悲悯的情怀 / 019

基本礼貌 / 023

食色性也 / 028

不必在乎 / 034

在压力下茁壮成长 / 039

生理的周期 / 044

双向时间 / 048

迎向战斗 / 054

收敛光彩 / 059

玩物丧志 / 063

肆情的夜晚 / 068

手足之情 / 072

起床难 / 078


第二章  风范

一个男人可能做不到,一个少年却能!

人体机器 / 085

比,才有进步! / 090

不是玩票! / 096

气质与风采 / 102

演讲的艺术 / 107

打通脑里的障碍 / 112

没有赢! / 116

踏上征途 / 120

反败为胜 / 126

英雄出少年 / 132



第三章  人生

太阳不拖,月亮不拖,星星不拖,人生也拖不得。

西屋怪现象 / 139

点一盏灯 / 143

伯乐与九方皋 / 148

无怨无悔的爱 / 153

谁是纽约客? / 159

愈烧愈发 / 165

说话的技巧 / 171

东方人的世纪 / 176

赛狠 / 181


Book Abstract

《爱的礼物》

父亲对儿子说:“如果碰到了抢匪,要你的项链,千万不要犹豫,不要抗拒!把它摘下来递过去,它值不了什么钱的!”儿子没有遇见抢匪,却打算把那项链当小礼物,送给一位并未深交的女同学。

你伤了我的心!

因为听说你居然要把我送给你的玉坠项链,当作生日礼物,送给一个并未深交的女同学。而那项链却是在你十五岁生日时,我从脖子上摘下,当场为你挂上的。

尤其令我痛心的是,当你母亲责怪你时,你居然说:

“爸爸在送我的时候讲过,这值不了什么钱,所以我认为可以当个小礼物送人。”

这世上许多东西,都是不能以市场价值来衡量的,譬如最珍贵的“爱”,难道上面附有标价,是可以用一张张钞票买的吗?“爱”非常抽象,它看不见,也摸不着,却能让人牵肠挂肚地在我们心里翻腾。当你最困苦时,可以因为想到那份爱,而感觉振奋;当你在孤独的时刻,也可以因为触及一件带有爱的纪念品,而感觉温馨。

那一条项链,不正是我给你的一件带有爱的纪念品吗?你要知道,当你的祖父过世之后,每次我触及他用过的笔墨、看过的书籍,都觉得那当中有他的影子。

我最早能深深体会的一篇课文中的词,就是“手泽犹存”,当我在学校读到之后,赶回家第一件事,就是把父亲用过的东西翻过来翻过去,对着灯光照,希望发现父亲的指纹或汗渍。所以你应当了解,有时候爱竟能长驻在指纹与汗渍中。

如此说来,那项链能说是只有菲薄的价值吗?

是的!我是说过它不值什么钱,但你记得那下面跟着的一句话是什么吗?

你说你忘了,那么让我说个故事来提醒你。

从前有一位父亲写信给他在国外读书的孩子,信是这样的——


亲爱的孩子,我好久好久没收到你的信了!

而在这期间我已经寄出七封,你是换了地址吗?还是因为功课忙?又难道是身体不舒服?但我实在担心,整天跟你母亲轮着出去看信箱,我们的生活似乎就是为了等你的信了。

如果你实在太忙,只要写几行字,告诉我们安好,就成了!甚至你只要寄张明信片,上面不必写字,毕竟从地址,我们可以看出你的笔迹,也表示你一切都好。

当然如果因为交通不方便,或要踩着雪去买邮票,你就不要急着回信,免得受寒或在冰上滑跤,你可以等春天暖了再给我们消息。

但是,孩子!我们实在很想你呀!


从上面这个故事,你发现了什么?应该发现那位深爱着孩子的父亲,尽管望眼欲穿地等着孩子的信,到最后,却为了怕孩子去买邮票受寒,而要求孩子“不要急着回信”了!现在你想起我当初说的话了吗?

我说:“这项链不值什么钱,别因为是我从脖子上摘下来给你的,就以为珍贵无比。如果碰到了抢匪,要你的项链,千万不要犹豫,不要抗拒!把它摘下来递过去,它值不了什么钱的!”

孩子!你的生命当然要比这项链珍贵不止亿万倍。我只是想告诉你,在遇到抢匪时,记住“留得青山在,不怕没柴烧”,不要为了保护这小小的纪念品而受到伤害。

但,那不是说,它便宜到你可以随便送给没有深交的女同学,当她小小的生日礼物呀!


刘轩的话:

迟来的抱歉

这件事真让我感到无比惭愧!它展现了我年轻时的无知,但也显示了两代人沟通上的误会。不管那玉佩的实际价值是多少(其实我现在也还不清楚),只记得当年老爸交给我时,一再强调那不算什么值钱的东西。我没听出他的话中话,误以为那只是块好看的石头,就像妈妈当年从台湾艺术品市场买来送给美国秘书们的小礼物一样。

回想当年,收到玉佩时没有隆重的仪式,之后又造成了那么多的不愉快,让我对自己的中国家庭背景有些埋怨。为什么我们不能像美国人一样常对彼此说“I love you”?多么明白又直爽!为什么中国人非得用最含蓄的话、最浅淡的举止,透过默默的牺牲来表达伟大的爱?而当我这个已经长了“外国耳朵”的小孩没察觉到那背后的深情,又突然看到自己父母亲有如此伤心激烈的反应时,只有错愕和永远忘不了的愧疚。

这么多年后,我理解了老爸的心意,也愈来愈理解中国人“隐藏在说与不说之间”的关怀。每当想到这个故事,还是会脸红。只怪我实在太傻了。

老爸,对不起!


《迟到大王》

爱迟到的人,似乎总是迟到。远程的约会,他要迟到;在他家旁边碰面,他还是可能迟到;连你早早到他家,坐在客厅里等,只见他东摸摸、西磨磨,到头来,仍然无法准时出发。这是什么原因呢?

我小时候,常听大人说“早起三光,晚起三慌”,又总是听他们在早早准备,到头来还是赶不及的时候说:“起个大早,赶个晚集!”

我当时就不解地问:既然讲早起的人,可以看见旭光、月光和星光同时在天空,好像非常从容,又怎么会“起个大早,赶个晚集”呢? 他们的回答很简单:“因为拖!”

这使我想起初来纽约,常在示范画大瀑布的时候,问参观的人有没有去过尼亚加拉瀑布,令人意外的是,摇头 的居然占了相当高的比例。他们的道理也很简单:“因为近,心想反正什么时候要去都成,所以一直拖下来!”妙的是那些人多半去过需要几天车程的佛罗里达,或更远的夏威夷。

“拖”就是这么妙,拖时间的人,不一定真没有时间,反而可能有充裕的时间;拖欠债款的人,常在手头有钱时拖着不还,直到没有钱;拖延不给朋友回信的人,也可能总是把信放在案头,天天都想回,却一拖就是几个月。

你会发现,爱迟到的人,似乎总是迟到。远程的约会,他要迟到;在他家旁边碰面,他还是可能迟到;连你早早到他家,坐在客厅里等,只见他东摸摸、西磨磨,到头来,仍然无法准时出发。

这是什么原因呢?难道是心理有毛病吗?

我想他们的心理不是真有毛病,却可能是心里总想着:“不急嘛!时间还多!”“不急嘛!还有一些时间!”“不急嘛!大概正好可以赶上!”“不急嘛!如果运气好,还不会迟太多!”“不急嘛!别的人也不可能准时!” 最后则是:“不急嘛!反正已经迟了!”

问题是,他这一拖就不知拖去了别人多少时间,更不知失去了多少宝贵的光阴和成功的机会。跟我学画的学生,常对我说:“老师!我的墨总是磨不黑,怎么办?”我的答案很简单:“多磨一会儿!” 可不是吗?如果他的墨不是本来就是灰颜色的,而是真正的黑墨,当然不可能磨不黑,所以磨不黑并非墨的问题,而在于他自己。

同样,如果你问我:“我就是爱拖,怎么办?”

我的答案则是:“不要拖!立刻行动!”当你把心里面那些“不急嘛”“不急在今天”“时间还多”的意念抛开,告诉自己“立刻行动”时,你拖的毛病就会霍然痊愈了。

由于你不论多早起床,却总是弄得迟迟出门,而常在第一堂课迟到,使我不得不说这一大番话给你听,因为“起 个大早,赶个晚集”的人,要比那忘了上闹钟而迟到的人更糟糕,如同“有钱却拖着不还债”,要比“没钱还”来得可耻。

你绝对不能有拖的毛病,因为我们的人生是拖不得的。太阳不拖、月亮不拖、星星不拖。春秋四季、万物消长,都不拖。我们又岂能拖呢?


刘轩的话:

“拖”的绝妙好理由

有个朋友曾说:“‘拖’是一个必要的过程。不拖,还真做不了事!”

他这个歪理正反映了“拖”的奇妙心态。很多功课好、上进,又绝顶聪明的人都会拖,起码在大学同学中,十个有六个是如此。因为自己也有这个毛病,我还曾经选修辅导中心开的“如何克服‘拖’”的课程,学到了一些东西:有些人拖,是完美主义作祟。他们凡事会先花许多脑力进行“沙盘推演”,并为自己设下很高的标准。但因为想得太多,计划太复杂,反而无法行动。

有些人害怕失败,他们跟前者很类似。这种恐惧感使他们迟疑,最后导致失败,更加深这种惯性思维。

有些人有“强迫性行为”,像是出门前不停检查是否煤气、门窗没关,严重时则成为病态,愈靠近 deadline(期限)就有愈多琐碎的事情冒出来,使他们永远不安。

还有一种人很难开始做事,但一旦开始就停不下来。即使他们知道手上的事已经耽误了后面的行程,也无法自拔。

老爸说:“不要拖!立刻行动!”其实每个爱拖的人、每个迟到大王,心里都有谱。我们都知道不应该拖,但就是办不到。其实,最重要的对策就是“good enough”(够好了)

这个观念。我们必须先说服自己“够好了!不要再磨了!赶快继续吧”,才能让自己不要拖,追上进度。所以“拖”不等于“懒”或“惰”。当然,“赖床”又完全是另外一种状况,不能跟“拖”相提并论。这,还是留给别的文章再讲吧!


Introduction

《前  言》

我们在评论艺术家时,常说:

“这是一位成功的艺术家,因为他创造了独特的画风!”

我们在评论政治家时,常说:

“他创造了民主、开明的形象,所以获得民众的拥戴。”

我们在评论导演时,常说:

“这是一位杰出的导演,他创造了特殊的戏剧风格。”

但是,我们不说:

“这是一个杰出的女人,因为她创造了美貌!”

“这是一个优秀的学生,因为他创造了聪明!”

“这是一个篮球天才,因为他创造了过人的身高!”

因为美貌、聪明、身高,都不是他自己创造的。只有当那美貌涵蕴优雅的气质,聪明发展为特有的长才,过人的身高加上杰出的球技之后,才算是他个人的成功。

那么,请问:

在你“人生的作品”中,你创造了什么?

你是照着起初生下来的样子,随着一般人浮浮沉沉地混日子,还是创造了属于你自己特有的气质、风格、技术、形象……

你不能以“与别人没什么不同”的自己存在!因为那没有真正地活出“你”来!

从现在开始,好好想想:你天赋的才能在哪里?你最有利的条件是什么?你未来的岁月有多长?然后决定自己的风格,选择自己的方向,活出一个真正的你——创造另一个自己!创造自己的前途!创造自己的自己!


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Brand Jingdong book
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Yami gift card balance does not have to be used up at once;

All rights reserved by Yami.

Return Policy

Gift card that has already been consumed is non-refundable.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Yami Free Shipping over $49
Yami Easy Returns
Yami Ships from United States

Shipping

  • United States

    Standard Shipping is $5.99 (Excluding Alaska & Hawaii). Free on orders of $49 or more.

    Local Express is $5.99 (Available in Parts of CA, NJ, MA & PA). Free on orders of $49 or more.

    2-Day Express (Includes Alaska & Hawaii) starts at $19.99.

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Yami Cross-store Free Shipping over $69
Yami 30-days Return

Yami-China FC

Yami has a consolidation warehouse in China which collects multiple sellers’ packages and combines to one order. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to your door. Cross-store free shipping over $69.

Return Policy

You may return products within 30 days upon receiving the products. Sellers take responsibilities for any wrong shipment or missing items. Packing needs to be unopened for any other than quality issues return. We promise to pack carefully, but because goods are taking long journey to destinations, simple damages to packaging may occur. Any damages not causing internal goods quality problems are not allowed to return. If you open the package and any quality problem is found, please contact customer service within three days after receipt of goods.

Shipping Information

Yami Consolidation Service Shipping Fee $9.99(Free shipping over $69)

Sellers in China will ship their orders within 1-2 business days once the order is placed. Packages are sent to our consolidation warehouse in China and combined there. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to you via UPS. The average time for UPS to ship from China to the United States is about 10 working days and it can be traced using the tracking number. Due to the pandemic, the delivery time may be delayed by about 5 days. The package needs to be signed by the guest. If the receipt is not signed, the customer shall bear the risk of loss of the package.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Free shipping over 69
Genuine guarantee

Shipping

Yami Consolidated Shipping $9.99(Free shipping over $69)


Seller will ship the orders within 1-2 business days. The logistics time limit is expected to be 7-15 working days. In case of customs clearance, the delivery time will be extended by 3-7 days. The final receipt date is subject to the information of the postal company.

Yami Points information

All items are excluding from any promotion or points events on Yamibuy.com

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

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About the brand

Jingdong book

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About the brand

Jingdong book