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Jingdong book

肯定自己/刘墉青春修炼手册

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★超过100个走心醒脑的青春成长话题,让你搞定学业,从容社交,拥抱梦想……

★累计销售超过100万册,历经时间考验,经久不衰

★励志大师刘墉化身老朋友,陪你领略青春期的魅力,撕掉青春期中的负能量标签


Content Description

口才出众的刘墉也有说不过孩子的时候。说不过,那就写给他们。于是有了“刘墉青春修炼手册”系列,本书是系列之三。


如何对抗自我妥协?

如何保护个人隐私?

如何维系感情?

如何在质疑声中坚持自我?


在本书中,刘墉以儿子的成长历程为参照,讲述年轻人的自我肯定之法。用刘墉的话说,在别人肯定你之前,请先肯定自己!

本系列作品,事例通俗,却寓意深刻;语言幽默,又不乏严谨;其中交织的父爱,真实而热烈。从任意章节里,我们都能找到相似的成长体验与青春话题,获得关于社交处世、品格塑造、读书写作等方面的不二法门与温暖鼓励。


Author Description

刘墉,作家、画家、教育家。

他很有天赋,却信奉“谨慎从事,决不玩票”。他写作,处女作《萤窗小语》一炮而红,而后出版多部畅销作品,成为畅销书作家;他画画,作品经常进入苏富比国际拍卖行;他教书,执教名校,曾任美国纽约圣约翰大学驻校艺术家、圣文森特学院副教授、中国厦门大学客座教授;他育儿,儿女皆就读于名校,儿子毕业于哈佛大学,女儿毕业于哥伦比亚大学。

他用无畏对抗人生,突破家贫的桎梏,考入电视台当记者。然而,如果人生是一条平平的直线,那多没意思!于是他放弃所有,前往美国闯荡,迎来事业的又一次高峰。

刘墉之子刘轩,写作、心理咨询、演说、主持、音乐样样精通。哈佛大学心理学学士、哈佛大学教育学院硕士、哈佛大学人类发展与心理研究博士候选人。刘轩不仅是心理学家,而且曾经就读于茱莉亚音乐学院,在林肯中心举办独奏会。


Catalogue

前言 / 001

原版自序 / 005

第一章  独立

独立,必先经过生活的鸡毛蒜皮。

打赢每天的第一仗 / 003

报一箭之仇 / 010

龙虾与龙头 / 015

失重的感觉 / 022

一开始,就不让它错! / 027

叛逆少年 / 032

走下赌桌 / 038

你自己决定吧! / 043

辛苦的假象 / 049


第二章  自护

学会防备隐匿的险恶。

小心曝光 / 057

五毒聚功散 / 061

世纪之病 / 067

选择牺牲 / 072

球过街!人不过街! / 079

少看一眼 / 083

死亡的教训 / 088

小心吃口水,记住! / 093

秀一下 / 098


第三章  情谊

情谊,需要用不让热情落入冰水的敏锐来维护。

雪地上的脚印 / 105

情到深处 / 111

爱你,不是害你! / 116

再看他一次! / 121

思念总在分手后 / 126

别让自己更孤独 / 131

爱的消息 / 137

嗨!你好吗? / 143

回馈的爱 / 149

人是为活而生 / 156


第四章  梦想

梦想,真是太吸引人了!

使人惊艳 / 163

灵活的战术 / 170

台面都上不了,怎么成功 / 175

哈佛梦想 / 183

尊重少数的情操 / 189

做个世界人 / 195


Book Abstract

《打赢每天的第一仗》

我有一个朋友,先在新闻单位做到高级主管,莫名其妙地被排挤之后,改行做保险经纪,很快便成为百万经纪人;不久之后,又去办杂志,没几个月,就打出一片令人刮目的天下。


由于昨天睡得太少,你今天吃完晚饭,说要先去躺一下,再准备后天的考试。可是当我晚上九点叫你起床的时候,你却用被子蒙着头说:“干脆睡到明天早上再起来念书,反正明天放温书假!”你祖母也觉得有理,在一旁附和,可是当我问你明天早上打算几点起床时,你答:“六点!”

“那么你算算,一共睡了多少小时?那是十一个钟头 啊!后天要考三科,你能这样大睡吗?此外,你明天打算几 点钟上床?如果照惯例拖到深夜两点,那是二十个小时,你可能连续读二十个钟头的书,仍维持高效率?戴隐形眼镜的眼睛又受得了吗?” 你蒙着被子想了想,跳起来。

是什么改变了你的初衷?是清醒之后的分析、判断!当你睡得迷迷糊糊的时候,不可能有明确的判断。甚

至你会发现,在早上起不来时,原先有的斗志都会消失,你很可能对自己说:“哎呀!这个计划太麻烦,何必呢?算了!改天再说吧!” 许多不错的计划,都是这样放弃的!许多可以改变一生的机遇,就这样被错过!

我看过一篇医学报道,说那些患忧郁症的人,睡大觉之后,常会变得更严重。相反,当他们睡得少,病情则往往减轻。报道中没有分析原因,但我相信那些人患忧郁症,最大的原因,是不敢面对现实。而睡大觉,使他们离现实更远。

北方有句俗语:“好吃不过饺子,舒服不过倒着!”意思是好吃的东西,没有超过饺子的;舒服的事,没有比得上睡大觉的。睡梦提供给我们另外一个世界,一个在现实无法满足,在那里却能达成的世界,所以做梦有缓解精神紧张的作用。

问题是,当我们在梦中神游太虚时,身体还在这个世界,太虚毕竟不是现实。也就因此,当我们由美梦中醒来, 发现“事与梦违”是最痛苦的,有时竟如同以酒浇愁,酒醒后的头痛一般。

记得我翻译过的那本《死后的世界》(Life after Life), 原作者瑞蒙·模第在序言中说过这么一段话:

其实死亡与睡觉有什么不同?都是对这个世界失去了感觉!唯一的不同,是睡觉还有醒来的时候,这醒来是多么可爱!

每次当我从无限美好的梦境回到艰困的现实世界,而万分痛苦时,都会用这段话来安慰自己。


你母亲一位同事的儿媳妇,在车祸后陷入昏迷,而被送进波士顿的一所昏迷人中心(Coma Center),她的丈夫甚至辞了工作,带着两岁的幼女,住在医院旁边,每天领着孩子到床前唤妻子、喊妈妈。他们祈求的是什么?

是奇迹!什么奇迹?醒过来!

当你想到死亡,想到那些昏迷的人,就会发现,这世上竟没有什么能比醒过来这件事,更来得可喜!醒,并不那么单纯,这也就是为什么有“清醒”这个词的原因。醒而不清,或醒而不起,甚至再沉入梦中,常是使

我们判断失误,或错过时间的最大原因。

我从半夜醒来,为你妹妹用微波炉热牛奶的经验中发现,半清醒和清醒对时间的判断,居然也有极大的差异。白天我为她热牛奶时,总是跟着微波炉上的数字,暗暗在心里计算,久而久之,竟然不看数字,也能算得差不多。也就是默念三十秒时,微波炉也正好跳到三十秒。但是当我半夜被你妹妹哭醒,睡意模糊地为她热牛奶时,却发现微波炉上的时间跳得奇快,我才算到十八秒,微波炉已经响了起来。

是微波炉快了吗?不!是我慢了!慢的人,在感觉上会认为这个世界变得很快。慢的人,他的时间变得比别人的少。同样的时间,对一个人,在感觉上居然能有不同的速度,更何况对不同人了。

我惊悸地体悟出这个道理!也由此了解为什么想贪睡一下的人,往往发现那“一下”竟使他“大大地”延误。

这世上居然真有许多设有贪睡装置的闹钟,当它响起时,你只要按一下“贪睡钮”,它就延后十分钟再闹,届时如果再按,它又会延后十分钟。

我反对这种闹钟,因为它使我们对睡前的决定讨价还价。如果睡前认定六点起床,为什么要拖到六点二十;如果可以拖到六点二十,睡前又何必定在六点?人不能对自己妥协。想想,对自己几个小时之前的决定尚且妥协的人,还可能对长远的理想坚持到底吗?

以上提到的许多经验,使我每天对起床这件事,都有了一种战斗的态度。我极力坚持自己起床的时间,并在中途醒来时,尽量保持清醒,因为启动不快的车子,不可能在赛车场上有杰出的表现。而每当我实在累得起不来时,都对自己狠狠地说:“一天开始的第一仗就输了,怎么得了!”

我有一个朋友,先在新闻单位做到高级主管,莫名其妙地被排挤之后,改行做保险经纪,很快便成为百万经纪人;不久之后,又去办杂志,没几个月,就打出一片令人刮目的天下。记得当他黯然离开新闻单位时,一个朋友说:“别操心!他是遇到打击,先闷不吭声,躲在角落睡觉的人。但是只要睡醒,就精神抖擞,仿佛换了个人,开始生龙活虎地面对下一个挑战!”

没有人会说“白天的战斗,是为晚上睡觉”,却可以讲“晚上睡觉,是为白天的战斗”!

睡觉,是为醒来之后,走更远的路!


刘轩的话:

两个人的斗争

每个人都知道,清晨多么美好,别因为睡眠浪费了。

但在惺忪之际,硬逼自己起床实在是难上加难。我们得认

清:半夜两点上床时发誓早上六点一定要起床,与隔天闹钟响时立刻把它按掉的人,是两个不一样的人!这不是意志力的问题,而是设定实际目标的问题。如果要早点起,就得早点睡。

我老爸曾经提到,他可不可以给乔安娜三块钱,每天叫我起床。我说不如把三块钱给我,由我每天约乔安娜吃

早餐,想到跟她吃早餐,我自己就会起来了!


Introduction

《前  言 》

小学课本的内容早给老师,但有一篇课文的题目却始终难忘,甚至可以说它影响了我半生,直到今天还总是清晰地在脑海中浮现:

“伟人从小就看重自己!”

并不是说从小就想当伟人,但从那篇课文,我获得了启示——

如果我们自己都不能看重自己、肯定自己的存在,又怎么要求别人来肯定我们呢?

初中上生理卫生课时,老师在教完“性”的那章之后说:“想想看!我们都是多么幸运啊!从亿万竞争者中脱颖而出,父母生下我们,为什么不是别人,而会是我们?在出生之前,我们已经打了一场大胜仗!所以不论自己是美,是丑,是聪明,或是驽钝,甚至残障,都应当庆幸——我们是独一无二的存在,这世上再没有任何人会跟我们一模一样了!”

高中时,我在街头风渍书堆里找到一本《尼采语录》,里面的内容多半艰涩,但是也有几句令我非常感动:“人生是污秽的川流,要涵纳这川流而不失其精神,人

必须成为大海!”

书里又说:“人是一样应超过的东西。你们做了什么以超过他呢?”尼采更以强烈的口吻说:“不是牧者,就是羊群!”从此,我建立了“超越自己”的想法,试着超越与生俱来的许多弱点,也极力希望超越“每一个昨天的我”,我最欣赏《礼记》中的:

“苟日新,日日新,又日新。”和颜回所说的:“舜,何人也?予,何人也?有为者亦

若是。”

“伟人从小就看重自己”,不也就是这句话的道理吗?大一那年,我读到王国维的《人间词话》,其中印象最深的是:“古今之成大事业、大学问者,罔不经过三种之境界:‘昨夜西风凋碧树。独上高楼,望尽天涯路……’”我细细玩味那三种境界,尤其欣赏词人在面对一片萧条时“独上高楼,望尽天涯路”的孤危感,和“舍我其谁”的胸怀,越发确定在人生起步的阶段,要有“肯定自己”

的态度!

后来我出国,某日读到一篇报道,其中又有两句话,深深印在我的心上:“成功者不见得有过人的才智,却往往有其特殊的一种气质,就是他不信自己不能成功,也恨自己不能成功,那种愤懑,化为了力量,使他成功!”

文中最有力的一句话是:

“伟人的必要气质,是他自认必须伟大起来!”

有一天,我到清真寺参观,正逢“唤拜”的时刻,执事者在高处呼喊着。我问翻译,那呼喊的句子是什么,他说:

“快来成功啊!快来成功!”

我突然有了一种感动:成功不是可以等到的,成功也不必靠机缘,成功是要积极“去成功”的!小学毕业几十年了!我不认为自己成功,但我始终追求一个比昨天更成功的自己;我也不认为自己有过人的才智,但我不信努力的成果会不如人。我永远奉为座右铭的话是:

每个人都应当从小就看重自己!

在别人肯定你之前,你先要肯定自己!


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Seller will ship the orders within 1-2 business days. The logistics time limit is expected to be 7-15 working days. In case of customs clearance, the delivery time will be extended by 3-7 days. The final receipt date is subject to the information of the postal company.

Yami Points information

All items are excluding from any promotion or points events on Yamibuy.com

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

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About the brand

Jingdong book

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About the brand

Jingdong book