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人性的弱点

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人性的弱点

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《人性的弱点》是卡耐基成功学的奠基之作,荟萃了卡耐基思想理论精华的部分。该书创作于20世纪早期,当时美国经济陷入萧条,战争和贫困导致人们失去了对美好生活的向往。本书一经上市就风靡全球,几十年间被翻译成全世界几乎所有的主要语言,全球总销量已达1.5万亿余册,仅次于《圣经》,是全球第二大畅销书,被视为社交心理和沟通技巧的“《圣经》”。
Content Description

本书是一本实用的人际关系著作,从人性本质的角度,挖掘出潜藏在人们体内的弱点,使人们能够充分认识自己,并不断改造自己,从而能有所长进,直至取得成功。作者讲述的许多普通人通过奋斗获得成功的真实故事,激励了无数陷入迷茫和困境的人,帮助他们重新找到了自己的人生。
Catalogue

第一篇与人相处的基本技巧 001
1.想要得到蜂蜜,就别踢掉蜂巢 002
2.给他人送去真诚的赞赏 010
3.激发他人的需求 019

第二篇平安快乐的所有秘密 037
4.你就是唯一 038
5.养成良好的工作习惯 045
6.你为什么感到如此疲劳 051

第三篇如何成为一个受欢迎的人 061
7.拥有令人舒心的微笑 062
8.记住对方的名字,很容易赢得好感 069
9.学会做个耐心倾听的人 075
10.谈论他人喜欢的话题 080

第四篇获得他人认同和敬佩的方法 085
11.口头争论无法获得真正的认同 086
12.要比别人聪明,但不要让他们知道 092
13.敢于承认错误的人是高尚的 096
14.温和友善地与人相处 101

第五篇说服他人的技巧 105
15.表达你的赞赏之情 106
16.别直接点明他人的错误 111
17.不要总是责怪他人 113
18.别趾高气扬地命令他人 116

第六篇让你的家庭生活永葆快乐的要诀 119
19.喋喋不休无法让爱情驻足 120
20.别总是想着改变爱人 124
21.真诚地欣赏对方 126
22.别忽视生活中的那些小事 129

第七篇如何让自己历练成为一个成熟之人 133
23.敢于承担责任 134
24.要么接受困难,要么改进 139
25.不幸都会成为过去 146
Book Abstract

《人性的弱点》:
1.想要得到蜂蜜,就别踢掉蜂巢
卡耐基金言
任何时候,批评都是无济于事的,它只会让当事人披上防护的外衣,让他竭尽全力为自己开脱,它会伤及一个人的自尊,并让他产生反抗之心。
任何一个批评别人的人都是愚蠢的,同时,他们还会斥责和抱怨别人。但如果你希望自己成为一个宽恕别人的人,就需要做到两点:人格、克己。
在1931年的5月7日,在美国的纽约市,发生了一件市民们从未看到过的、壮观的围捕事件——凶手名叫克罗雷,他是个滴酒不沾的人,被称为“双枪杀手”,然而,这天,正当他在大街西头的情人的公寓里休息的时候,却被警察逮了个正着。
一百五十名美国警察和藏在公寓顶层的克罗雷展开了激烈的枪战。首先,这些警察在屋顶砸了个大洞,然后朝房间内释放了催泪毒气,试图把这个十恶不赦的罪犯熏出来。然后,警方人员在周边的建筑物上架起了机枪。接下来的一个多小时,这个美国原本很安静的居民区,就“热闹”起来了,到处是枪声,罪犯克罗雷藏在一张堆满杂物的椅子后面,他手持短枪,不断地朝警察射击。一时间,上万的居民走上街头看热闹,虽然危险,但也惊险刺激,在附近久居的人都知道,这样的场面从未有过。
当克罗雷被捕后,纽约市警察局局长E.P·马洛里指出:“克罗雷是纽约警局建档以来最危险的一个罪犯,对于他来说,杀人就像切根葱一样,毫无疑问,他该被判处死刑。”
然而,双枪杀手克罗雷是怎样看待自己的行为的呢?就在克罗雷被捕那天,警察在他情人的公寓里发现了克罗雷写的一封公开信,可能在写信的时候伤口正好流血了,所以信件上沾有他的血渍。克罗雷的信中有这样的内容:在我的身体里面,住着的是一颗早已疲惫的心,这颗心是仁慈的,是不愿意伤害任何人的。
就在克罗雷被捕前的一天,他和自己的女友驾车在长岛的一条乡村公路上寻欢,刚好那时走过来一个执勤的交通警察,对在路边停车的克罗雷说:“请出示您的驾驶执照。”
克罗雷什么都没说,就掏出手枪对这名交通警察射击,然后警察倒地而死。接着,克罗雷从他的汽车里跳了出来,捡起挂在交通警察腰间的手枪,对着已经死亡的警察再次开了数枪。
难道这就是克罗雷所说的“在我的身体里面,住着的是一颗早已疲惫的心,这颗心是仁慈的,是不愿意伤害任何人的”吗?
克罗雷犯罪的最终结果是被判处坐电椅,当他被警察带进来时,他所说的并不是“这是我杀人不眨眼的下场”,而是“我这样做只不过是自卫而已。”
所以,我们从整件事中能得出一个结论:罪犯克罗雷对自己所犯下的罪行毫无悔过之意。
美国鼎鼎有名的黑社会头目卡庞曾说过一句话:“我把我的一生奉献给了人们,为的是他们能获得幸福安宁的日子,但最终,我所得到的只不过是谩骂和侮辱以及不得不亡命天涯而已。”他曾是美国人民的头号公敌,无恶不作,后来,卡庞在芝加哥被枪决。可是,自始至终,他都认为自己没做错,反而认为自己是个有益于公众的人,只是被大众误解了而已。
在纽约,曾有“纽约之鼠”这一恶名的舒尔茨,他曾因为江湖恩怨被杀,但在他生前接受记者采访时却说,自己是个对群众有贡献的人。然而,其实,他是个人人喊打的罪犯。
我有个朋友叫刘易士·路易斯,他曾是美国关押重刑犯的辛辛监狱的监狱长,我们之间曾就这个问题进行讨论。他说,在他管理的辛辛监狱,很少有人认为自己是坏人,他们和我们所有人一样,总喜欢对自己的行为进行辩解,他们会告诉你自己为什么要撬开别人的保险箱,为什么要开枪杀人,甚至他们还能对自己的反社会行为给出合理的理由,因此,他们得出的结论是,自己不应该被关进监狱。
如果卡庞、“双枪杀手”克罗雷、舒尔茨,以及被关押在牢房中的那些犯罪分子,他们根本不会意识到自己做错了,我们又该如何要求日常生活中的人呢?
已经去世的华纳梅格,曾经说过这样一句话:“早在三十年前,我就已经明白了一件事,责备别人是愚蠢的,即便我对于上帝没有公平地分配人的智力一事并不抱怨,然而,对于克制自己的缺陷,我已感到非常吃力了。”在这个问题上,华纳梅格早就明白了,然而,如此简单的一个问题,我却三十年都没理解透彻……对于任何人来说,即便一百次中他已经错了九十九次,他也不会因此而批评自己。
实际上,任何时候,批评都是无济于事的,它只会让当事人披上防护的外衣,让他竭尽全力为自己开脱,它会伤及一个人的自尊,并让他产生反抗之心。
在著名的德国军队里,一旦一个士兵被认为做错了事,他是不能立即提出申诉和辩解的,他能做的只是带着这股子怨气睡觉,直到这股怨气消失。如果他立即辩解,就会受到惩罚。
在日常生活中,我们似乎总能找到这样一类人——唠叨个没完没了的父母、喋喋不休的妻子、斥责怒骂的老板,以及那些吹毛求疵、让人反感的人。
翻开史册,你就能发现,“批评”毫无效果的例子实在太多了。罗斯福和塔夫特总统曾有过一次激烈的争论——正是因为这次争论,分裂了共和党,给威尔逊进人白宫提供了机会,进而有了其在“二战”中的英勇表现,使其永载史册。
……

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