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Jingdong book

百万畅销书作家李筱懿新书 情绪自控 教你摆脱内耗体质 找到不焦虑的活法 继灵魂有香气的女子后 全新力作 情绪管理 自我实现 励志【京东专享寄语签章版】

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百万畅销书作家李筱懿新书 情绪自控 教你摆脱内耗体质 找到不焦虑的活法 继灵魂有香气的女子后 全新力作 情绪管理 自我实现 励志【京东专享寄语签章版】

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①一本能把日常生活对号入座的情绪读本。到底什么是情绪化?不同的情绪对人的影响有多大?女性总是情绪化的吗?怎么才能做到情绪自控?这本书告诉你答案。

②细解10种生活中的常见情绪问题:敏感、易怒、焦虑、选择困难、压抑自我、情绪地雷、爱错人、婚姻挫败、嫉妒、遭遇小人。

③剖析10个经典文学影视作品中的女性形象:林黛玉、“末代皇后”婉如、郝思嘉、姜喜宝、欧也妮·葛朗台、简·爱、王琦瑶、安娜·卡列尼娜、《蝴蝶梦》、甄嬛。

④李筱懿用自己的亲身经历和探索,结合多年学习的心理学知识,和大众极具共鸣的经典文学作品,陪着读者一起改善情绪成熟度,做自由又笃定的女性。

⑤随文附高价值书单和推荐理由——情绪管理、经济思维、个人精进、心理自助。

Content Description

用10位经典文学著作里的女性形象,诠释10种不焦虑的活法。

以多愁善感、心思细腻闻名的林黛玉,

一生善妒、最终落得凄凉下场的末代皇后婉容,

在金钱和爱情间摇摆不定的喜宝,

压抑自我以致痛失真爱的欧也妮·葛朗台,

10位经典文学著作里的女性形象,10种滋味各异的人生,

深入剖析10个我们生活中都会遭遇到的负面情绪,细致讲述10种让我们摆脱焦虑的活法。

Author Description

李筱懿

作家,媒体人

女性生活平台 “灵魂有香气的女子”创始人,以“成长比成功更重要”的理念,打造都市女性生活社群。已出版作品《情商是什么》《灵魂有香气的女子》《先谋生,再谋爱》《气场哪里来》等。

2014年7月,开设女性主义原创自媒体矩阵“灵魂有香气的女子”,包括系列图书、公众号、广播、视频,分享生活微智慧,输送情感正能量,与500万城市女性共同成长。

在《鲁豫有约》联合新榜发布的“2016值得关注自媒体”榜单中,李筱懿所创立的公众号“灵魂有香气的女子”被授予了“最有温度自媒体”,同时被称为了“自媒体平台温暖力量的输出者”。

Catalogue

第一章:很敏感,怎么办?

成见和错觉在干扰你的判断

情绪失控的原因是什么

敏感提供了更高的“情绪价值”

敏感更能够分清事物的层次

我的理解:不让敏感,演变成情绪化

第二章:爱生气,怎么办?

易怒体质是天生的吗

怒火绕了个圈,最终烧坏自己

两个最重要的原因,导致了愤怒

排解愤怒情绪的四种有效方法

我的理解:学会不被无关的人激怒

第三章:总是焦虑,怎么办?

早已不再流行“完美女人”

为什么女人比男人容易焦虑

“女性魅力”不仅仅是外貌优势

尊重自己内心的感受

我的理解:不要活成“过度无私”的人

第四章:选择困难,怎么办?

金钱和爱情,怎样选择

哪些是可以放弃的选项

怎样兼顾长期利益和短期利益

是否存在不后悔的选择

我的理解:纠结的成本,远高于纠错

第五章:压抑自我,怎么办?

为什么“坏人”比“好人”快乐

什么叫“让情绪自由流动”

撕开绝望、痛苦、嫉妒等负面情绪的真相

阻碍情绪流动的原因有哪些

我的理解:接纳真实的自己,表达真实的情绪

第六章:情绪地雷,怎么拆?

了解自己的情绪开关

常见的思维陷阱:自信与自卑

自信和固执的区别是什么

隐藏的情绪地雷:“心理防御机制”

我的理解:学会制订“情绪恢复计划”

第七章:总爱错人,怎么办?

不要让亲密关系,变成情绪消耗

什么是情感中的“单向关系”

从“不配得”到“我值得”

我的理解:爱情的本质,是更加了解自己

第八章:婚姻挫败,怎么办?

不幸福的家庭总是相似的

婚外情能否解决婚姻中的问题

婚姻中的挫败感来自哪里

怎样修复婚姻的裂痕

我的理解:幸福的婚姻,都擅长找到共同点

第九章:嫉妒前任,怎么办?

介意伴侣的“前任”是通病吗

亲密关系常见的误会:假想中的情敌

“嫉妒”情绪来源于哪里

我的理解:深化我们的情感联系

第十章:遭遇小人,怎么办?

通过三个特点识别小人

应对小人的总思路是“全局观”

解决小人困扰的三个方法

“全局观”的四个特质

我的理解:用系统思维看问题,情绪不被当下控制

后记一:怎样缓解为人父母带来的“鸡娃”焦虑

后记二:怎样让孩子理解“父母离婚了,但是都爱你”

Book Abstract

我和一位男性创业者偶尔聊到“找合伙人”的话题,问他:“你找合伙人有哪些条件?”

他说:“入门条件就是,坚决不与女人合作。”他这话说得理直气壮,丝毫不顾及坐在对面的我就是女性。

我问:“为什么?”

他努力让自己看上去更礼貌地挠挠头,回答:“女人太敏感了,敏感就是情绪化,创业者都是冬天的孩子,得经过九九八十一难,情绪化哪能成事呢?”

他这段话真正击中我的部分是“敏感就是情绪化”,按照这个逻辑推理,女性很敏感,所以女性很情绪化——这恐怕不仅是男人对女人的刻板印象,甚至大多数女性也这样看待自己。

因此,在《情绪自控》这本书的第一个章节,我想和你说透“情绪化”究竟是什么,它到底是不是女性独有的特质。

假如敏感就是情绪化,我们就先来看看一名公认敏感的女性,她真的很情绪化吗?

她就是《红楼梦》中的林黛玉。

很多人都会说:“林黛玉当然情绪化,整天哭哭啼啼,心眼儿比针尖儿还小。”

假如你真的这样认为,那可能有两种情况:一是对林黛玉有误解,二是对“情绪化”这个词有误解。

林黛玉是个典型的敏感女孩,她不像史湘云那样热情爽朗心直口快,不像贾探春干脆利落一点都不拖泥带水,也不像薛宝钗精通人际交往的窍门——用流行的话说就是“情商很高”,更不像王熙凤泼辣干练。林黛玉情感很细腻,她能细致入微地体察别人的状态,也能迅速识别他人对待自己的真情假意。

但是,即便如此细致敏锐,她也并不是个情绪化的姑娘。

林黛玉出生于书香之家,《红楼梦》第二回交代:“这林如海姓林名海,字表如海,乃是前科的探花,今已升至兰台寺大夫,本贯姑苏人氏,今钦点出为巡盐御史,到任方一月有馀。”

她的父亲林如海是个读书人,中过科举考试的探花,在皇帝亲自主持的殿试中获得第三名。林如海不仅饱读诗书,还是个有实权的官员,他的职务是扬州巡盐御史,职责是收缴盐税和监督盐商的专卖。盐是非常重要的关乎国计民生的商品,明清时,扬州盐商富甲天下,巡盐御史是管理盐务的官员,盐商获利多少是要仰仗巡盐御史的。

林如海被钦点上任,这是个既有实权也握有财富的要职。

林黛玉的母亲名叫贾敏,贾敏的父亲贾代善和祖父贾源都是国公,而小说中的“老祖宗”贾母就是贾代善的妻子,她有贾赦、贾政和贾敏三个儿女,贾敏是唯一的女儿,特别得宠。

所以,从家庭出身的角度来说,林黛玉家世显赫,至少绝不比薛宝钗弱——很多人误以为林黛玉的身世比薛宝钗差很多,这的确是个巨大的误解。只不过林黛玉很小失去母亲,十岁时父亲也去世了,从此常住在贾府。“老祖宗”贾母由于疼爱小女儿贾敏,爱屋及乌地疼爱外孙女林黛玉,寝食起居、吃穿用度全部亲自打点,规格堪比嫡亲的孙子贾宝玉。

《红楼梦》全书塑造了大大小小上百位女性角色,其中十二位最优秀的女性合称“金陵十二钗”,里面有八位是出身于四大家族,也就是贾、史、王、薛四家的贵族小姐,她们分别是:与贾宝玉有金玉良缘之称的薛宝钗;“贾家四姐妹”元春、迎春、探春、惜春,其中元春已经进宫,是皇帝的贤德妃;史家千金史湘云;贾府的执行大管家王熙凤;还有一位贾巧姐,是王熙凤的女儿。

另外四位不是四大家族里的人物——其中,李纨和秦可卿是贾府的少奶奶;妙玉是带发修行的居士,她只是住在大观园,和所有人都是非亲非故的关系;林黛玉是贾母的外孙女,也是贾宝玉的姑表妹,她是作为一个被收养者的身份住在贾府。

在这么多出色的女性中,林黛玉和薛宝钗并列第一位,她的独特性离不开“敏感”带来的个人优势。而几乎每一位看过《红楼梦》的读者,都难免会把黛玉和宝钗放在一起比较。

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