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Jingdong book

谎言心理学

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谎言心理学

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◎探查人类内在的行为逻辑,洞察谎言背后的心理真相。


◎一本教你读懂谎言思维,不再陷入骗局的心理学指南。


◎《每日电讯报》《爱尔兰时报》《卫报》推崇的谎言破解法则。


◎入选《泰晤士报文学增刊》《伦敦旗帜晚报》《伦敦标准晚报》2017年度图书榜,英国独立书商2017年度推荐图书。


◎《猜火车》作者欧文·威尔士、艾略特奖得主约翰·伯恩塞德、英国历史学家比·威尔逊联袂推荐。


◎美国知名电商读者4星好评,版权售出12个国家和地区。


◎览读跨越数年的谎言故事,打开充满欺骗的心理世界。


◎那些伴随我们成长的谎言,是善意还是欺骗?


Content Description

从家庭生活到职场工作,谎言充斥着人们的生活。数据显示,每个人一生中大约要说8万个谎言,而这些谎言将对人们产生深远持久的影响。谎言不仅会改变人们的记忆、思维,还决定着每个人的行为方式。


本书作者通过对生物学、神经科学、心理学等领域多年的研究,提炼出了一套有效识别谎言的法则,并结合71个真实的谎言事例,为读者解答说谎者是如何通过肢体动作掩盖真相,受骗者如何识别骗局等问题,帮助读者破解谎言圈套。


Author Description

米兰达·道尔(Miranda Doyle),毕业于伦敦大学金史密斯学院。著有自传体小说《验尸》,后被改编成广播剧在苏格兰广播电台播放。


Comments

一部构思巧妙又让人陷入沉思的作品。


——《每日电讯报》


如果米兰达·道尔的书没有让你哭泣、大笑、惊叫,那么这只能证明你并没有用心阅读。当你面对自己为了弥补某些事情而说出的谎言时,内心的惶恐才是真相对我们所有人的召唤。


——《爱尔兰时报》


米兰达向读者提出了“说谎”挑战,要求读者在看这本书时用紧张、坦诚、睿智的思维,戳穿那些令人不安的谎话。


——《卫报》


米兰达的这部作品,是日常生活的真实写照。在她的作品中,总会看到独特又有趣的观点。


——欧文·威尔士(作家、导演、编剧,著有《猜火车》)


Catalogue

谎言1:不是我做的


谎言2:我正在说谎


谎言3:是溃疡


谎言4:你抢先了


谎言5:我是第三个


谎言6:我在谷歌上找到的


谎言7:回忆录不是小说


谎言8:幸福的家庭


谎言9:哭泣的人坏了爸爸的心情


谎言10:他娶得好


谎言11:快看看你信箱里的礼物吧


谎言12:我们都在捉弄艾德


谎言13:我是ZUI不受待见的


谎言14:我是唯YI的女孩


谎言15:未来的某一天,我要逃离这里,成为马戏团的一员


谎言16:她已经去了解政策了


谎言17:我找不到妈妈了


谎言18:他会拿着好大一把剪刀,把你的拇指切掉


谎言19:爸爸被带走了


谎言20:我不会哭的


谎言21:我没偷看“巴尼”


谎言22:得给他点颜色看看


谎言23:心善会交好运


谎言24:有一天,你会住进那座洋房


谎言25:他们死缠烂打地想让我再要个孩子


谎言26:我是你父亲


谎言27:这些人太无能了


谎言28:我要和你分开


谎言29:为了孩子,我们别分开了


谎言30:我不记得了


谎言31:我给忘了


谎言32:我是瑟琳娜


谎言33:学校真好


谎言34:以后不用晨跑了


谎言35:那个女人没规矩


谎言36:我从未享受过排泄时的快感


谎言37:我要回家了


谎言38:我说不动他


谎言39:我讨厌戴娜


谎言40:我无能为力


谎言41:总有一天我会举报他


谎言42:这特别不合适


谎言43:我要去死


谎言44:这种事不会发生在我孩子身上


谎言45:我性冷淡


谎言46:耶稣已为你做出ZUI好的选择


谎言47:这是我写过的ZUI难写的信


谎言48:我会把她送回家


谎言49:我活该


谎言50:你会和我交往吗?


谎言51:犯我者必受惩


谎言52:我是茜尔葳


谎言53:我想要一段恋情


谎言54:我只是想把针织套衫还给他


谎言55:真没那么糟


谎言56:我们在一起很愉快


谎言57:婚姻才是我想要的


谎言58:我们一起养


谎言59:不会有问题的


谎言60:让我告诉你一个秘密


谎言61:一个月后,我们开始化疗的第二个疗程


谎言62:我们认可了这件事,她应付得很好


谎言63:他的睾丸一般


谎言64:我是好人


谎言65:只是个玩笑而已


谎言66:耶稣爱着我


谎言67:不,她并不恶心


谎言68:便利贴是公正的


谎言69:我不太会做这个


谎言70:总说真话


谎言71:我得杀几个人才行


谎言72:全心全意,我敬奉你


后记


致谢


参考文献


Book Abstract

我正在说谎


既然这本书是关于说谎的,那我们先来讲几个事实。


我们每个人都会说谎。当然,政客是最深谙此道的,比如水门事件、克林顿的性丑闻,以及布莱尔在面对揭露伊拉克战争前夕真实情况的证据时,表现出的模棱两可的态度;报纸的头版头条也充斥着成套的欺诈;我们都有过被银行涮了的经历,甚至集体性被骗;还有“希尔斯堡惨案”发生后警方自我洗白的谎言。


与此同时,警方每天也要面对成千上万的谎言。“清白计划”的一项研究表明,超过25%被错判的人都在供词中说了谎。人们想要通过说谎避免牢狱之灾,也想要通过说谎结束关于自己有罪的审讯,但这些谎言也会使执法者做出他们有罪的推定。谎言带不来真相,只能招致更多的谎言。


研究发现,大脑越大,说谎的频率就越高,所以狐猴没有黑猩猩狡诈,物种中说谎最多的是人类。据“谎言侦探”估计,在遇到陌生人时,平均每个人几分钟内就会说谎三次,一天说谎十次到两百次不等。女人说谎大多为了取悦与自己说话的人,而男人说谎则大多为了拔高自己。


当我们说谎的时候,不论是无伤大雅的小玩笑还是弥天大谎,在核磁共振的扫描下,大脑的前额叶皮质区都是相当活跃的。


前额叶皮质区与普京的联邦安全局有类似之处,二者都与冲突、错误检测、危险决策和执行控制密切相关。同时,它还有一项能力,就像安全局里掌管记录和档案的最高领导一样,能够检索那些我们希望忘记,甚至早已忘记的遥远记忆。


为什么前额叶皮质区能成为欺骗的策源地,而不是更为常规的大脑区域?因为说一个谎所付出的努力是诚实的两倍。我们要先看看需要隐藏的是什么,评估一下其重要性,再编造一个谎言,说的时候要表现得真实可信,最后,还不能把这个谎给忘了。


南加州大学的研究表明:习惯说谎的人大脑结构会出现异常。病态说谎者的前额叶“白质”要远多于“灰质”。


灰质是思想。


白质是细胞间的交流工具,或是思想间的接线。白质越多,说谎者所具有的自然优势就越大。习惯性说谎是思想—灰质所抵抗的行为。或者说,我们说谎时所感受到的担心、内疚和后悔就是大脑在抵抗。研究人员将这些情感体验称为“认知负荷”,它是加在大脑管控自身的能力上的压力。


心理学家保罗·艾克曼是研究情感与面部表情关系的先驱,他认为这种认知负荷导致身体出现“破绽”。破绽多出现在手部和脚部,它们做出的动作会出卖说谎者,当然,面部也会有紧张的表现。张伯伦曾说:“当希特勒承诺不入侵捷克斯洛伐克时,我感觉他的承诺是值得信赖的,他这个人也是可信的。”但直到几十年后我们才知道,精神病患者在说谎时是不会露出破绽的。


他们在说谎这件事上可谓独领风骚。2009年的一项研究发现,精神病人获得假释的机会是他们那些正常狱友的2.5倍。可能有人会说,这和会说谎的关系不大,倒是和自信密切相关。但对于没有精神病的我们来说,认知负荷会使我们变得紧张局促,从而露出破绽,被人识破。


圣母大学的研究人员邀请了一百一十人连续十周每周都来做测谎试验,要求他们报告自己这周说了多少谎。这项研究结束时,所有被试者的说谎次数都减少了,同时,人际关系和睡眠质量也有了提升,头痛和嗓子疼也缓解了。


也许大家已经注意到了,爱说谎的人话很多,他们惯于将谎言藏在叙述当中。有时他们会用第三人称,从“我”换到“她”或“他”,把自己从欺骗中撇干净。这类人也很喜欢发誓。一般情况下,编造谎言会花费不少精力,那么说话过程中的其他部分就会失控,可能会出现语无伦次、重复讲述、产生攻击情绪以及指指点点的情况。说谎的人也更容易察觉到别人在说谎,他们在看破谎言上简直有一双火眼金睛。


这对于我们大多数人来说,是很难做到的。总的来说,我们都是易受骗的,我们倾向于把人往好的一面想。从统计数据来看,我们看穿谎言的概率也低得可怜,仅仅是“有可能”而已。科学家把这称为“取真偏好”。当我们被自己信任的人欺骗后,这种“取真偏好”会放大我们感受到的背叛感。所以,说谎者要付出的代价也是高昂的。我们或许认为托尼·布莱尔运气不错,先是逃脱了谋杀的罪名,后又因为拒不承认民众的意愿为自己赢得了短期好处,但他的固执己见也将他置于尴尬的境地。鲍里斯·约翰逊因此称他为“史诗级的傲慢蠢货”。尽管对于布莱尔的执政能力褒贬不一,但他的谎言着实让我们心寒不已,这是不争的事实。


当然这本书里的生活也会存在争议。


不过我也不会专门欺骗大家。我愿尽可能真实地与大家分享我的故事。但你们也要小心,我可是也会说谎的呢。哲学家有一个“说谎者悖论”的概念:“我正在说谎”这一说法是无法判断真伪的。而这一逻辑在两千三百年后的今天仍然无法破解;“我正在讲述事实”这一说法也一样面临无法破解的困境。但在本书中,我保证我真的会讲真话。


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Jingdong book