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KingStone

【繁體】Thank You:因為你,我喜歡現在的自己(隨書附贈行李箱貼紙組+禮物包裝紙)

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【繁體】Thank You:因為你,我喜歡現在的自己(隨書附贈行李箱貼紙組+禮物包裝紙)

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内容簡介

和你相遇才懂得,
最浪漫的,
原來是生活。


60萬粉絲熱議,笑中帶淚、令人溫暖感動的後熱戀期心聲
隨書附贈獨家版行李箱貼紙組+禮物包裝紙

如果有這麼一個人,
能讓你停止在自己的小世界兜圈空轉,讓你成為更好的人,
這是多麼值得慶幸的事。

Aida的全新圖文創作,用他們的真實故事和每張圖畫點亮我們曾經歷的戀愛瓶頸和問題

愛情中有許多必要的磨合考驗,Aida試著從不同的角度檢視在這些年各自做了哪些改變和成長。雖然一小部分熱戀時的美好隨著時間流逝,取而代之的是更加樸實的日常。看似平淡,但不再需要隱藏真實的心聲、不必時時客套討好,甚至為對方的夢想澆水,兌現更好的彼此,所以能繼續一直走著,一起走到。

精緻盒裝禮物書,隨書附贈
〈一起旅行〉行李箱貼紙組(14*20 cm)
〈送到心坎禮〉禮物包裝紙(42*29.7 cm)

目錄

前言
比改變更困難的是,維持那些好的事情

Part 1 To Do or Not To Do
不再強迫自己穿不適合的鞋
我們的事,不想要吵給別人聽
給個台階下吧
不再放縱自己的外表來試探他的愛
喜歡最真實的自己
不再比較幸福
同甘共苦
參與彼此最喜歡的事

Part 2 1+1>2,圈圈以外的世界
從陰沉到開朗
繞了一圈還是做回畫家
孤僻女子的分食體驗
咖啡曲奇
圈圈以外的世界
宅女出走

Part 3 雖然我是控制狂
和你在一起就像在修身養性
關於控制狂這回事
不需上鎖的信任感
吼!我真的不冷!
不平等條約
不再抱怨他的不完美
不同的觀點
互相依賴卻又各自獨立的關係

番外篇:旅途中的另一片風景
後記:和你一致的步調

內容試閱

〈前言〉

綺綺常說,我就像個拖油瓶一樣,老是麻煩他。
他最喜歡嘴裡嫌棄我,然後遇到問題時,再默默地陪伴我解決眼前的難題。

曾經在網路上看到某篇文章說「遠離會消耗你的人」,
嘖!
這句話讓我有種躺著也中槍的感覺,綺綺看了也開玩笑的說:「那我要離你遠一點。」。
如果我身邊的人都像這篇文章所說,因為我的負面能量太多而離開,我可能到現在還在原地躊躇不前吧。

很感謝他沒有離開。

在這本書裡,將稍微跳脫白目的綺綺和任性的Aida,以一位平凡女子的角度出發,分享最簡單、貼近真實生活的小故事,並試著從不同的角度去看事情。

綺綺是個無論內在或外在都和我截然不同的人,我們在磨合時都費盡了一番功夫。雖然偶爾會怨恨他打破了我的一些原則,打亂了我原有的生活步調。不過整體來看,我們非但沒有拖垮彼此,反而以相同的步調持續進步著,我想,這也算是種意外的收穫吧。

有時候,我會從相片、過去在FACEBOOK上發布的動態、和朋友之間的書信往來中,回顧過去的點點滴滴,然後發現當時的自己好像有一點幼稚、有一點討厭。我沒有辦法明確地說出自己在哪些地方有所改變,也許是離理想中的自己更接近、也許是朝遙不可及的夢想跨了一步、也許是少一些悲觀,多了一點信心,但我很明確的知道,和以前相比,更喜歡現在的自己了。

—————-

愛情不像我們表面上看到的如此美好,但那些不完美,也都是兩人生活的一部分。
在這本書中,也敘述了我們都很可能會碰到的問題和瓶頸,每次一同經歷和解決的難題,都讓我們多了一起解決事情的默契。

也許有些人會感嘆:「那些瓶頸和問題讓我們失去了彼此。」
不過,有過類似的經驗,或許在將來的某一天、遇見的某個人身上,我們都能夠更成熟的去面對和處理這些事。

最後,請記得,不需要捧著書,衝去拉著另一半的耳朵說:「你為什麼沒有這樣?」
在這本書中,沒有絕對的二分法,不是這麼做就是對、反之就是錯。

曾有讀者問我:「我應該生氣嗎?」「我這樣吃醋有錯嗎?」
每個人的感受及相處模式不同,我沒有資格為事情的對錯設立標準。
哪有什麼該不該生氣、該不該在乎這樣的問題?別人說不該,難道我們就沒有資格生氣嗎?當有些人對你說:「有需要這麼生氣嗎?我覺得還好啊。」
請告訴他:「每個人的感受不同。」
有的時候,我也會把自己的標準套用到別人身上,
或者在面對抉擇時,要求別人給我一個標準的答案,
我一直忽略了很重要的一件事:「我的感受,早就給了我最標準的答案。」

〈和你在一起就像在修身養性〉

「我覺得談戀愛好像在修身養性。」我一邊打著稿子,一邊脫口而出這句話。
「你不要諷刺我喔。」他冷眼。
「和你在一起之後我脾氣收斂了好多。」我說。

他足以惹火我的事情很多,不過換個角度看,他也同樣在忍受我。

「你不要以為我都沒有在忍你喔。」綺綺說:「跟你在一起才是修身養性。」
「忍什麼?」我說。
綺綺嘆了一口氣說:「實在太多了,舉不完的例。」

一個人時候,我們可以很自我。
我以前是個過度龜毛的人,而且如果別人的習慣和我差距太大,我就會覺得非常痛苦。
在自己的原生家庭裡,我有自己專用的碗筷和馬克杯和其他生活用品。盛飯時,討厭飯粒被飯勺壓過黏在碗邊,不喜歡塑膠或鋁製的碗筷和廚具。喝水前,一定要很認真的檢查杯子裡有沒有髒污,還有許多大大小小的堅持,因此常被家人說,我只適合獨居。

一個人時候,我可以什麼事都只想到自己,可以很我行我素,可以很自我中心。

我的個性還是十分急躁,綺綺如果沒配合我的步調,我就會大抓狂。
「快、一、點。」出門前,我看著慢條斯理穿襪子的他:「我現在一直狂飆汗。」
「不然你先牽車出去啊。」綺綺依舊慢條斯理地穿鞋子。
「好啊。」我怒把車牽出門外:「我都牽出來了你還在穿!!!!!」

他常說我激動的個性很像演員馬景濤,我總是用盡全身力氣在展現我的喜怒哀樂。
他也總是笑看我每一次的暴跳如雷,
如果我沒有太過分,他甚至會覺得我的反應很有趣。

或許我們都有許多令對方恨得牙癢癢的惡習和怪僻,但試著包容對方這些「不同」,卻可以把我們之間的種種不合越磨越圓滑,也變得更懂得體諒別人。這是很好聽的說法,但事實上是,如果沒有努力地去適應彼此,調整自己的個性,很可能會把自己逼到得了高血壓。以前十分沒耐心,有一次等人等了半個多小時,對方睡過頭姍姍來遲,我氣得立馬轉身走人。
但現在就算等他等了一段時間,我不但沒有生氣,反而還會擔心他是否出了狀況。

以前不喜歡貓、也有點潔癖,貓一靠近我都會讓我抓狂。
但有一次睡到半夜,歐練忽然吐了,我連忙爬起來擦拭收拾,還會擔心貓身體不舒服。

雖然我還是很討厭他把收拾好的瓶瓶罐罐拿出來用,用完直接隨手放在地上,
討厭他出門和朋友聚餐,到了晚上12點甚至凌晨才回到家,
討厭他看完報紙和圖書館借來的書,直接隨手放在床上,儘管我已經提醒過他很多次了!
討厭他做了讓我生氣的事以後,還摸不著頭緒的問:「你幹麻那麼生氣?」

但我也知道,他同樣在忍受著我和他的不同。

或許在這世界上,真的沒有百分之百契合的兩人,只有互相體諒的兩個人。
當高血壓快要發作的時候,就當作他是老天派來幫助我修身養性的人吧。

〈給個臺階下吧〉

我欣賞綺綺的原因之一,是他給我的感覺很聰明,而且不是耍小聰明的那種,讓人覺得很可靠。我經常對他問東問西,如果剛好問到他不懂的事,他也會立刻上網查。他並不是無所不知,但有著十分強烈的求知慾。

他總是半靠在枕頭上看書,我常問他哪部小說、經典文學好不好看,他還可以直接幫我判斷那本書適不適合我讀。我總覺得他懂得比我還要多,在某些時候,我很崇拜他。

但人有時很矛盾,喜歡一個人的優點,常常到最後反而會是討厭他的原因。

跟這樣的人相處久了以後,才發現自己吵架總是吵不過他。有些人可能會覺得默不吭聲的人很討厭,不過總是要據理力爭也是一件很累人的事,特別是我們兩人都是要爭到最後的人,好像不分個輸贏不會罷休,連中場休息上個廁所都要思考等等該怎麼反擊他,生活宛如在打一場辯論賽。

有時候會覺得,這事情明明很顯然就是這樣,為什麼他的看法可以差那麼多?為什麼怎麼解釋他就是不明白?但其實很多事情都沒有標準答案,只是我們總覺得自己的看法才是正確的,並強迫對方接受。

曾經看過一句名言說:「家是講愛的地方,不是講理的地方。」

我們急著要得到對方的認同,卻沒有顧慮到對方的感受。即使最終自己贏得了這場爭辯,氣氛也已經被弄得很差,對方覺得難為情,我們自己也不知道獲得了什麼。在很多很多次的爭吵以後,我們一直不斷地練習不把對方逼到絕境,而不是執著對方認不認輸。如果覺得對方總是輸不起,可以思考一下自己是不是總是在對方舉旗投降的時候得寸進尺,不給對方一點退路,讓他陷入為難的窘境?

因為一個輸得起的人,還需要一個願意給他臺階下的人哪。

我們偶爾會想要自我反省,但卻又擔心對方會擺出一副得理不饒人的樣子。

相處了這麼長一段時間,我們也看盡了對方的優缺點,於是近幾年便開始培養「自我反省」和「給對方台階下」,這兩件事是相輔相成的,是感情中最重要、卻又最難學習的課題之一。

「我也知道我有時候脾氣很差啦。」我難為情地說。
「我知道啊。」他毫不客氣:「超差的。」
通常對方抓住自己認錯的時機,逮到機會一定得立刻鞭個一兩下。
「天哪!他竟然在反省自己!」心中也難免激動起來。

但人總有自尊心的。

就算不是自尊心特別強的人,也不喜歡已經處於弱勢、低處,還要被落井下石的感覺。當對方自我反省、向你坦誠錯誤時,只要淡淡地回應他,引導他繼續說下去就好,若是急著指責他、甚至舉出更多對方的不是,往後就休想再聽到他自我反省了。

有一次綺綺騎機車載著我,停紅綠燈時,他忽然開口問:「你會覺得我有時說話太自大嗎?」

我簡直見獵心喜。
「原來你也知道喔!!!!!!!」我在心裡吶喊了出來,但我忍住了。

我怕傷害到他、小聲地說:「有一點。」
「你說,沒關係。」綠燈了,他又開始騎車。
「有時候,我會有點被教訓的感覺。」
「我有盡量在改了~」
「我知道。」我靠在他肩膀上,露出他看不見的得意的一笑。

如果我總是能很勇敢的在你面前反省和承認錯誤,那表示我知道你不會讓我太難堪。

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Brand Origin Taiwan
Net Content 1g

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欣叶 御大福 芋头麻薯 180g

周销量 600+

$1.66 $1.99 83折
Yami
欣葉
2种选择
欣叶 御大福 芋头麻薯 180g

周销量 600+

$1.66 $1.99 83折
Yami
欣葉
2种选择
欣叶 御大福 芋头麻薯 180g

周销量 600+

$1.66 $1.99 83折
Yami
欣葉
2种选择
欣叶 御大福 芋头麻薯 180g

周销量 600+

$1.66 $1.99 83折
Yami
欣葉
2种选择
欣叶 御大福 芋头麻薯 180g

周销量 600+

$1.66 $1.99 83折

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