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微博千万热议#我和卜先森的日常#出书啦!屠狗爆款,激萌来袭!
◆203个“套路”CP的“互撩”日常,欢迎围攻“特想扑倒人夫”卜先森!
◆逗你,暖你,撩你,宠你……满足你对完美男友的所有期望!
◆迷妹福利!随书附赠卜先森高清写真一套!美颜盛世,不服来辩!
◆污污哒的“辣眼狗粮”!附赠“撩汉技能”卡册!亲测有效!
◆有颜有爱,够辣够拼,易变世界,我们走心!
“我怕我不够好,让你觉得爱情不过如此。”


Content Description

* 203个“套路”CP的“互撩”日常,且看颜值拉低平均数、与爱情无缘的“废柴女”,成为卜太太后,言情小说女主附身般的人生。

* 逗你,暖你,撩你,宠你……满足你对完美男友的所有期望。

* 激萌暖心,高甜屠狗,423万迷妹翘首以待,欢迎围攻微博“想扑倒人夫”卜先森。

*除了在床上之外,都把老婆当女儿一样宠着。

* 随书附赠 “千万少女理想型男友”写真卡册一套及撩汉技能手册。

*本书女生花痴指数五颗星,爱小鲜肉,疯狂追星,不惜吃霾吃土;是生活和工作上的小白,智商情商的重灾区,毒舌起来连自己都怕。

*男生“智商忽高忽低,颜值居高不下”,时而智商爆棚,时而幼稚低龄;是上得厅堂下得厨房,用得了缝纫机,做得了装潢的全能男友。

*如果你说这样的两个人根本不会在一起,那就要“啪啪啪”打脸了。

*书中的卜先森满足了所有女生对完美另一半所有的期望和想象。让你觉得,原来真的有一种宠爱,让女生觉得自己就是全世界幸福的人。当她丢了工作,他说“没关系,还有我”;当她追着爱豆满世界跑,他就是她的便携式人肉ATM机;当她精心为他做了晚饭,他为了不辜负心意即使已经吃过也努力吃完一口;当她忘记父母的生日,他就是人肉闹钟、人声日历;即使在艰苦的日子里,也不离不弃……

*本书告诉你,真正相爱的人即使不在一个次元,也能互相陪伴到老,因为他们会努力成为对方适合的人。

*虽然偶尔也会吵架,但没有什么是一顿美食解决不了的,如果有,那就两顿


Author Description

蒙淇淇

我有很多爱豆,但只有一个爱人,他叫卜先森

他明明可以靠脸,却偏偏要靠宠爱,于是妥妥地把我圈饭

新浪微博 @蒙淇淇77


Comments

● 可能全世界的女孩都希望能找一个像卜先森那样的男朋友吧。这本书的魔力在于,即使你是个单身汪,你也会心甘情愿地干了这杯“黄金狗粮”。

——草莓还是单身汪


● 想知道什么是“完美男友”吗,想知道如何哄女朋友开心吗,这本书里有你想要的答案。

——婷婷BaBy


Catalogue

第零一章 你颜值高就好啦,余生多多指教哦

第零二章 别拒绝长大,反正长大也不会懂事

第零三章 谁说追星就脑残?爱豆面前我无脑

第零四章 人山人海里,我们是逆流而上的鱼

第零五章 不在一个次元也能谈恋爱!不骗你

第零六章 祝姐姐你永远年轻!永远厚颜无耻

第零七章 樱桃草莓柠檬菠萝蜜,全都不如你

第零八章 世界对你恶语相加,有我来说情话

第零九章 你也不是没用,你可以做反面教材

第零十章 总有那么几天,想用中指回答一切

第十一章 我想环游的世界,是有你在的地方

第十二章 若你是张考卷,我愿做一辈子学霸

爱情大拷问


Book Abstract

01

我刷微博发现热搜上一个快被玩坏的梗:#我今天吃药的时候看到一个新闻#

于是我给卜先森发微信。

“我今天吃药的时候看到一个新闻。”

“什么药?昨晚我们明明有措施。”

“……”

“难道你的重点是新闻?你哪个老公的新闻?鹿晗?杨洋?李易峰?”

“你这样很容易失去我的……”

02

真的勇士,胖还海吃,困还熬夜,穷还追星,丑还颜控。

我都占齐了。

从来与漂亮无缘的我,有次参加卜先森同学聚会,为了给他挣面子,我又是化妆又穿高跟鞋。卜先森被我雷得不轻,突然扬起手。

我下意识地往后躲了躲,他手指落在我脸上,动作温柔,用指腹轻轻抹着。

原来是我脸上的BB霜没匀开!

一下,两下……我的脸可以煎鸡蛋了!

高跟鞋太高,我又紧张,腿站都站不直,直哆嗦。他一把拽住我胳膊,扶稳了我。

他语气很拽地说:“你在这等着。”

最后我洗了脸上的妆,穿着他临时买的帆布鞋,去见他同学。

有人说:“这是你老婆?好可爱。”

卜先森冷着脸,“闭嘴!可爱是觉得一个人不漂亮时才说的,不能说可爱,要说漂亮!”

03

我们是所谓“最萌身高差”,我3950px,他4575px。

他每次和我逛街都只能把手搭在我肩头,而不能暧昧地揽住我的腰,所以吐槽说:“好像在和自己女儿一起走。”

“你嫌我矮?”我抓起抱枕扔过去。

他躲过,“本来就不高。”

我吼:“我没嫌你矮就不错了!你不知道你情敌多高吗?”

我抄起手机翻出吴亦凡的百科页,用手死命戳着手机屏幕,就要戳出个洞来,“看到没有,187!187!比你高一个头!”

他冷哼一声,抢过手机,直接摘了电板!

几天后知乎上有个热门话题:#有个追星的女票是什么体验#

我看到卜先森的发言:“一要耐得住寂寞,她每天追剧刷动态,根本没时间陪你。二要文武双全,文能陪她宅在家里一整天煲剧,武能陪她探班接机花式应援。三要学会感恩,天天追那些颜值逆天爱豆的人,能看上相貌平平的你,请知足,谢谢。”

啪啪啪,脸被打肿了吧?

04

我闺蜜卷心酱的男友是法国人。卷心酱在法国蓝带厨艺学院学习甜点时,认识了MOF君,MOF是指“法国最佳手工艺者”,是甜点界最高殊荣。每次听卷心酱和MOF君对话都很带感,因为她每句话后面都要加个“Chef”(主厨)。

“Bonjour Chef!”

“Merci Chef!”

“Oui Chef!”

有段时间我跟卜先森说话也爱加个“Chef”,他居然不反对。我忍不住问他为什么。他说:“因为听起来很像‘谢夫’,谢谢夫君啊。”

那时我们还没结婚。所以我一下子就脸红了。

05

我有间歇性幽闭恐惧症,因为小时候曾被人不小心关在体育馆。那一晚留下了很深的心理阴影,偶尔还会影响我的生活。

有次我和卜先森坐地铁,望着窗外一片漆黑,我突然就心跳加快、呼吸困难。我慌忙闭上眼睛,给自己积极的心理暗示。

这时卜先森握住了我的手,他在我耳边说:“好点了吗?”

我咬住嘴唇不做声,听他又说:“有个办法或许有用,你不要睁开眼。”

他抬起我下颚,吻了我。

那是我们的第一个吻。

06

放小长假,我们在上海人民广场看到“国民老公”王思聪,陪三个靓妹抓娃娃,即使被群众围观,思聪老公还是淡定得很,技术也不是盖的,女伴们手里拿着不少。

我跟卜先森说:“机会难得,我上去和他合个影吧,你帮我拍。”

卜先森说:“那我要和那三个妹子合影,你帮我拍。”

心塞,这家伙反应总是这么快!

07

卜先森高三时宿舍附近的工地夜晚违法施工,他失眠导致神经衰弱,最终高考失利。那年夏天,电话查询高考成绩后,他一个人蹲在庭院种植的蔬菜旁,用一根树枝拨弄着泥土,他看着蚂蚁、蚯蚓和蜗牛,不吃不喝过了一整天。

“我一直没有哭,可是后来,我妈抱着我说了句‘没关系’,我一下子就落泪了。”

然后就是漫长难熬的“高四”。那时他听得最多的就是马克西姆的《出埃及记》。

“复读时的同桌,一个瘦小的女生,每次做数学试卷都会做哭,她一边哭一边不停地小声念着‘数学是我的爱人、数学是我的宝贝’。后来她考上了复旦。”

我忍不住说:“其实高考并不是唯一的出路。”

“可高考是唯一的一次不拼爹、不看脸的公平竞争。”

“可是你明明可以靠脸吃饭,偏偏还要靠才华、靠努力。你让那些没颜值、没才华又不肯努力的人怎么活?”

“原来你还挺有自知之明。”

08

渡边淳一说:“收服男人就得对他好,但不是时时都好,只要在他生病的时候照顾他就行了。若是他身体的确好得不生病,只需在你自己生病的时候照顾他就行了。”

刚好那时我重感冒,在床上躺了一天,突发奇想要拖着病体给卜先森做饭。

他一回家我就问:“吃饭了吗?”

他正在换鞋,闻言动作停顿了一下,“你给我做了饭?”

我躺在沙发上作气息奄奄状,“对呀,我做得半条命都快没了。”

他默不作声地坐下来开吃,吃得很慢,但到底是吃完了。

半夜他起床发出响动。我白天睡多了,那时还没睡着。

“怎么啦?”

“没什么。”

我抢过他手上的东西,是健胃消食片。

脑回路拥堵了片刻,我反应过来,“你回来之前吃过饭了?”

他这才坦白,“今天公司聚餐。”

我一句话都说不出来。

09

我问卜先森为什么热衷于赚钱。

他说:“高一时爷爷不小心从楼上摔下来,住了三个月院。后来家里人聚在一起,姑姑突然掰着手指算爷爷治病的钱。当时我回头看了下爷爷,他在盛饭,手抖了下,饭掉到桌上。瞬间我很心疼爷爷。那时家里条件不好。这种难过又无奈的事,我不想再发生。”

我握住他的手,“你小时候受过很多苦,我知道。”

他反握过来,“所以才能遇见你吧。”

虽然我总嘲笑他满身的铜臭味,但当我找工作屡屡碰壁时,他郑重其事地对我说:“如果你不想过朝九晚五的生活,你可以做你想做的自由撰稿人,我养你。”

“可是我爸妈不允许……”

他打断我的话,“我来说服你爸妈。”

伍绮诗的《无声告白》里说:“我们终此一生,就是要摆脱他人的期待,找到真正的自己。”我才不要成为所谓“更好的自己”,我只需要成为“自己”,不管这个“自己”被外界评判成怎样。

很庆幸卜先森了解我,最难能可贵的是,他愿意帮助我,哪怕与世界为敌。

对很多人来说,婚姻是枷锁,可是,卜先森给我的,是自由。


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