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Jingdong book

你那么懂事,一定很辛苦吧

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★特别懂你的阿莫学长全新力作,200万粉丝追博关注的成长故事。

★书写时,我们写岁月匆匆;歌唱时,我们唱理想三旬。

★原来,活得像自己是一件多么开心的事情。

★每个人都需要一个学长——也许比你大几岁,也许比你智慧几分,也许比你多些见闻。你正在摸索的,他都经历过;你试图看懂的,他都总结过。理解你所有困惑,指引你走出迷茫,陪你成长,带你前行的引路人。

★所谓成长,就是终于明白了“懂事”与“懂得”的区别。

★懂得做自己,比懂事更重要。

★那些荆棘满途的过往,都会让你再次成长。

★纵使千回百转,愿你也终能成为你想成为的那个人。

★随书赠送“懂你”主题明信片。


Content Description

每个人都有过关于成长的困惑,那些没有回报的努力,那些辗转反侧的深夜,碌碌无为时的迷茫,面对离别时的感伤。

他来了!特别懂你的阿莫学长带着22篇关于生活,关于青春,关于成长的故事与感悟,拍拍你的肩膀对你说“久等了”。多年后,回想起与他同行的这段时光,也许你会突然领悟,哪怕刹那温暖,也可以点亮漫漫长路。


Author Description

阿莫学长,专写成长故事的微博博主。关注并致力于书写当下年轻人的生活处境、个人成长,文字温暖而有力量,观点独特且触动人心。2年时间,收获200余万粉丝,在青年读者中深受好评和追捧。其文章因多次被思想聚焦、搜狐等知名媒体平台转发,引发广泛关注和共鸣。

新浪微博:@阿莫学长

微信公众号:阿莫的信箱


Comments

阿莫学长写尽了青春,我们每个人都是故事里的人,故事里的人是每一个我们。

——微博粉丝@蜗牛村庄lvory


阿莫学长的文字不是流水账,不讲大道理,故事各种各样,关于生活,关于友情,关于爱情,关于青春,关于成长,这些故事是我的,是他们的,相信也是你的。

——微博粉丝@睡懒觉的猫


那么年轻,能对当下年轻人的生活处境和个人成长有着那么细致的观察和深刻的认识,真是很难得。所以,他是真的在用心做这个“学长”。

——微博粉丝@名字好难想出来


忘了具体是什么时候关注到阿莫学长的了,好像没有特别的事件,总之就是几乎每天都会看他的文章。他不会像那些“过来人”一样给你讲大道理,也不像有些“大咖”那么高高在上,感觉他就在我身边,那些文字好像是专门写给我的一样。这也是暖暖的力量。

——微信粉丝@贵族野百合


大学毕业一年多,在陌生的城市打拼,为了房租,为了每日三餐,为了更好的未来,不怕辛苦,不怕被欺负,不怕被歧视。但是很害怕心灵的孤单,还好,一年多来有阿莫学长陪伴我,用文字给我力量,感觉像是一个未曾谋面的网友一样,感觉我的迷茫,我的烦恼,我的辛苦他都看得到,他都能懂。懂事,也许会很辛苦,但是我觉得生活总是眷顾善良的人的。我会继续努力,为了更好的自己。

——豆瓣粉丝@小太阳


Catalogue

第一部分 旧时光,别来无恙

你好,黎不二

没有故事的人

他们

那些花儿

同桌的你


第二部分 如相遇,此生请珍惜

最佳损友

百分百爱情

功利性爱情

很多时候,我们都回不去了

玩儿命地喜欢一个人

所谓的久处不厌


第三部分 微笑着,去唱生命的歌谣

像伊卡洛斯

爱情悲歌

爱你的时候,像慢性中毒

你不知道,有些人为什么难过


第四部分 懂事的你,终将遇见更好的自己

学画

写给阿林

你努力合群的样子,真的很孤独

感谢我不可以

成长不过是一瞬间的事情


附记 荒芜纪

后记 热爱的东西永不褪色


Book Abstract

如果说,人之所以成群而居是因为一个人太过孤独。

那么,一个人若因为太过孤独而强行融入一个圈子,这一刻他的表现,我们便可以称之为孤独的最高级。


你可能会有这样的感受:

一群人出来聚会,谈及某个话题,你原本有很多话想说,但每个人都只想说自己的故事。

于是你放弃了倾诉,一边听着大家所讲,一边只想着要找个角落一个人发发呆,慢慢地消化属于自己那份无人理解的孤独。


你变成了群体中最孤独的那个点。

在群体中,有时你感受不到融洽。


刚到一个陌生环境,第一件事情当然是认识身边的人。

前段时间公司里新来了一个小女生,性格乐观开朗,很活泼也很善良。她会帮大家集体打水,会帮所有人去楼下拿快递,手脚勤快,任劳任怨。

但是很快,她有了很多苦恼。

因为至此往后,大家一有什么事情就会找她,打印文件也好,做点工作之外的小事也好,她忙东忙西,顶多就换来一句“谢谢”。


她发现大家都有自己手头上的事情要忙,她的的确确是融入了这个公司的群体,但她每天都感觉不到开心,因为她是孤独的。

她和大家的联系建立在日常的琐事上,她很忙很累,但也不会有一个人去关心她,依旧让她跑东跑西,她甚至于不敢拒绝别人的请求,因为她小心翼翼,害怕自己的拒绝使得这个关系链断裂了。


她的努力换来了一次收效。

大家在一次部门聚餐的时候叫上了她。


结果呢?


她坐在桌子的一角,插不上话,大家谈论工作,谈论生活,偶尔提及她几句,她敷衍一下,很快又沉寂下去。


她是孤独的。


所以你看,努力合群,可能只会让自己很累,并且找不到归属感。


2


而另外一个例子则恰恰相反。


我们知道,大学时期,舍友之间可以升华感情,但有时候,舍友之间也会衍生出一场无硝烟的战争。


一个朋友从大二那年就开始搬到外面住,离开了对她而言的是非之地。

问她为什么。

她说宿舍里的人跟她合不来,没有谁对谁错,价值观不同导致了她被孤立。但她并不打算融入她们的圈子里面。

因为就算融入了,可能明面上是一种状态,背后又是另外一种状态。

你的主动融入并不能使她们把你当作真正的朋友,相反,会多一些其他的利益瓜葛,然后彼此开始无休止地争吵对峙。


她会就此而深感孤独吗?

并不会。


搬出来外面租房住不久,她和住在楼下一个单间的女生很聊得来,她们都喜欢画画,于是,更多的人开始冒出头来,她们一群人聊天,一起嬉笑打闹,一起野餐,一起游玩,融洽得不得了。


酒逢知己千杯少,话不投机半句多。

大概就是这么个情景吧。


因此,不用怕总是一个人独自生活。

生而为人,我们有属于自己的独立思想,并非一定需要无时无刻地拥抱集体。

很多事情我们更愿意一个人去做。



3


在一个周末的下午躺在床上听歌玩手机,开空调,盖棉被,这么惬意的时候你不会想着要一群人来陪自己玩手机吧?


一个人去吃自助餐。

为什么不?我可以随意吃自己喜欢吃的东西,不用顾忌吃慢了别人要等我,不用去听一些人开玩笑式的提醒:“你怎么这么胖了还吃吃吃?”我的肥肉我做主,爱咋吃咋吃。


一个人去看电影。

天哪,可以吃好大一桶爆米花!不用四处约人,不用被迫看自己不喜欢看的片子,就连发朋友圈的时候,也只需要修一修自己就完美了事。


一个人去旅游。

不用询问别人的意见,不用到处找人同行,不用照顾别人的情绪。自己觉得不想玩了可以立马回来休息,自由,潇洒。


一个人也有一个人的乐趣,在还没有找到契合自己的特定群体之前,一个人单着,未必不好。


那如果你是一个内向的人,既不是很活泼,又不是很懂得如何去跟别人交往该怎么办?

若是性格使然,没有任何人有权利让你变得活泼。

你可能很羡慕那些广交四方的人,但若你选择了安静,就不要太过奢望能够获得活泼的人所拥有的东西。

尤其是在生活上,他广交四方有他广交的道理,而这种状态未必能有多少知心朋友。你完全可以选择做好你自己。


你可以选择先让自己的生活过好,先让自己的工作完善。

你可以通过这种安静传递出一种稳重,亲切和随和的气息,自然而然的就会有人接近你。

这种交往和接触可能并不会来得特别迅速,它是一个缓慢的、循序渐进的过程,但不用着急。

君子之交淡如水,长时间的交往和接触,倘若能一直维持下去,你们就会成为真正的知心友人。

毕竟,朋友圈终究是经过长时间的磨砺才能够沉淀下来,你慢慢地打磨它、消化它,最终留下来的一定会是陪伴你一辈子的那几个人。

人生而孤独。

安静也好,活泼也好,不逼迫自己才是最惬意的生活方式。

那如果你现在已经处于一个你完全不喜欢的群体之中,你又该怎么办呢?

答案是:提升自己。


倘若你没有在圈子里来去自如的能力,请提升自己,人登高并非为了抱团,只是为了体会不一样的风景,当你有了一览众山小的能力的时候,自己选择的方向就变得多了。

能力强选择多,你才有挑选圈子的权利。


千人千面,也总是分分合合。


愿你能够找到属于自己的知己,也愿你纵然孤身一人,也终究有不那么孤独的时候。


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Brand Jingdong book
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Jingdong book