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养育女孩

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养育女孩

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不论你的女孩刚刚降临人间,还是蹒跚学步,抑或是豆蔻年华,《养育女孩》一书都适合你——天下所有深爱你们女儿的父母们!
《养育女孩》是畅销全球400万册的《养育男孩》作者史蒂夫?比达尔夫写给女孩父母的必读书,也是你培养聪慧优雅、坚强独立、内心强大女儿的优选指南!
《养育女孩》将告诉你:
如何把握女孩成长的5个阶段,帮助她们成长为聪慧、优雅、独立和内心强大的女人?
父母如何在女儿的生命之初与她建立亲密的联结?
父母怎样教给女孩纪律和规则使她在关键时刻足够强大?
总给女儿买那种强调外表和着装的玩具的做法是否正确?
女孩应该掌握哪7种提高社交能力的关键技巧?
怎样帮助女儿远离性侵、同侪欺凌、媒体与网络、减肥节食等问题的困扰?
希望本书能帮助你将你感受到的所有的爱,都赋予你的女儿。


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Content Description

不论你的女孩刚刚降临人间,还是蹒跚学步,抑或是豆蔻年华,《养育女孩》一书都适合你——天下所有深爱你们女儿的父母们!
《养育女孩》是畅销全球400万册的《养育男孩》作者史蒂夫?比达尔夫写给女孩父母的必读书,也是你培养聪慧优雅、坚强独立、内心强大女儿的指南!
《养育女孩》将告诉你:
如何把握女孩成长的5个阶段,帮助她们成长为聪慧、优雅、独立和内心强大的女人?
父母如何在女儿的生命之初与她建立亲密的联结?
父母怎样教给女孩纪律和规则使她在关键时刻足够强大?
总给女儿买那种强调外表和着装的玩具的做法是否正确?
女孩应该掌握哪7种提高社交能力的关键技巧?
怎样帮助女儿远离性侵、同侪欺凌、媒体与网络、减肥节食等问题的困扰?
希望本书能帮助你将你感受到的所有的爱,都赋予你的女儿。


更多精彩,点击进入中信出版集团品牌店》

Author Description

女孩的生存空间正在变得更加复杂和危机重重,她们的现在和将来注定比我们的更丰富也更艰难。
父母要培养一个内心强大、独立坚定的女孩!
史蒂夫·比达尔夫从两个女孩的故事入手,按着年龄为划分了女孩成长的5个关键阶段,明确告诉女孩父母每个年龄阶段孩子发展的特点以及父母们怎样做才能从女儿幼年起一直到成年与她建立一种紧密而稳固的联结。
《养育女孩》话题涵盖了女孩发展过程中几乎都会遇到的问题包括同侪欺凌,饮食失调,减肥,抑郁症、以及媒体和社会对女孩的危害和帮助。《养育女孩》作者结合自己养育女儿的经历和专家案例为父母们提供了避免让自己的女儿成为受害者的措施和方法。
Comments

史蒂夫·比达尔夫,澳大利亚著名家庭问题专家,育儿类畅销书作家。他的作品《养育男孩》、《男人的故事》、《快乐童年的秘密》、《爱的创造》已被200万家庭所广泛阅读。《养育女孩》是作者根据自己养育女儿的经验和从事家庭治疗师多年的实际案例专门写给女孩父母的养育指南。该书被翻译成多国语言出版,深受女孩父母的推崇。

Catalogue

推荐序当你离开,一个优秀的女人会继续生活
序言1:史蒂夫的一封信
序言2:认识凯西和吉纳维芙
第1部分 女孩期的5个阶段
第1章 创造完全的女孩
第2章 初始(出生到2岁)
第3章 学习探索(2岁~5岁)
第4章 和他人相处(5岁~10岁)
第5章 发现内心(10岁~14岁)
第6章 为成年做准备(14岁~18岁)
第2部 分危险与帮助:如何度过五大危险区
第7章 太早太性感
第8章 坏女孩
第9章 体形、体重和食物
第10章 酒精和毒品
第11章 女孩和网络世界
第3部分 女孩和她们的父母
第12章 女孩和妈妈
第13章 女孩和爸爸
凯西怎么样了?
附言
注释
Book Abstract

译者序
当你离开,一个优秀的女人会继续生活
文/钟煜
完全是因为女儿小游的关系,我才拼命将《养育女孩》这本书的翻译挤进了我已经不堪重负的时间表。
我曾经一直希望生个男孩,因为我实在是觉得自己没有能力养好一个女孩。怀孕的时候还有足够的时间胡思乱想,我写过这样的笔记:
好女孩什么样?
好女孩应该温柔、灵巧、聪明、坚韧。
好女孩应该能做一手好菜,能自己给自己盘精致的发髻,最好还会一些针线活儿;好女孩应该有好听的声音,好看的手;好女孩应该爱读书但是不呆板,知礼仪但是不拘束,明事理但是不炫耀;好女孩应该不太计较得失,但是懂得进退。
不是说父母是孩子的第一任老师吗?如果小游是个女孩,她会从我这里学到什么?
我童年的大多数时间跟父亲长大。从小到大,我的朋友里男孩居多,我似乎也因此更擅长跟男孩子打交道。当老师的时候,班里清一色的男生从来没令我特别为难,倒是隔壁班的女孩子一掉眼泪,我就慌了手脚。
我至今没学会得心应手地使用刀叉吃饭(其实,昨晚刚因为拙劣地使用筷子被老妈嘲笑)。所以在正式场合,我保持优雅的方法就是让自己饿着。
从来没有人教过我怎么给自己编小辫,所以我的头发在多数时间里没有长过耳朵。我补袜子的手艺甚至还不如我老公,这曾令他摇头长叹,怎会一时糊涂,娶妻如此……
所以,如果小游是个女孩,我该怎么办?
如今,在养育女儿这条路上,我已经走了四年半。
我居然从不曾慌乱。
从在产床上将这个小小的生命搂入怀中那刻起,我就自然地进入了“一个女孩的妈妈”的角色。一部分原因是—小游非常像我。
我常常在小游的眼睛里看到小时候的我自己—她内向、慢热、敏感,对安全感有极大的需求;她外表安静,内心却热情活泼;她有柔顺的眉眼,却始终竖着一根倔强的刺。
所以很多时候,只要跟随妈妈本能的爱和关注,只要叩问自己的内心,回想藏在30 多年时光尘烟之后的那个小女孩想要什么,我就能恰当地满足女儿的需求。
所以,当翻译这本书的前半部分时,看到婴儿期对安全感与爱的需求,看到亲子连接和安抚的重要,我常忍不住激动地应和—“对!就是这样的”。如果可以,真想给作者一个大大的拥抱,谢谢她终于让我模糊的认识有了科学的解释。
但我也常常感到困惑。
虽然早已经放弃我的个人审美,习惯了时时为小游寻觅各种粉红色、蕾丝花边、亮片小纱裙和公主鞋,虽然已经能够比较熟练地为她编一头小辫儿,但我还是会给她买工程车套装做生日礼物,而把朋友送的芭比娃娃悄悄藏起来。
我骨子里不喜欢女孩的“娇”与“弱”,小游太多的眼泪很容易让我烦躁。我希望她坚定、独立,有力量,却又本能地想保护她远离一切伤害。
到底作为一个女孩,她什么时候应该强大,什么时候可以示弱?她应该学会保护自己,还是理应得到更多保护?她应该甜美娇俏,还是活泼能干?
而作为一个女孩的妈妈,我什么时候应该拉她起来,什么时候需要推她一把?我的方式和态度到底是太温柔,还是太严厉?
我的困惑还不只这些。
在梳完小辫子,解释完为什么要上幼儿园,挑完裙子,搭过积木,画完画,讲完故事,吃过蔬菜,回答完一千万个为什么……在纷乱的一天的某个安静空隙,会有一个念头突然出现在我脑海里:小游的未来会是什么样?
她会一直这样慢热、羞涩,在人群里习惯性地后退吗?这样,她会快乐吗?
她会一直这样敏感吗?这样是好还是不好?
当她的生活圈子一直在不可阻挡地逐渐扩大,她会交到好朋友吗?
当我有一天无力再将她揽入怀中,她能够保护好自己吗?
她到底会成长为一个怎样的女子?或者,我希望她成为一个怎样的女子?
所以,必须要说,我很幸运可以翻译这本书,得以和作者一起先了解一个女孩从小婴儿到成年的精彩跌宕的旅行。在这段旅行中,有些段落已经发生或者正在进行,比如婴儿期的亲子连接,比如幼儿期的探索和发现。有些话题刚刚开始,比如人际交往,比如勇气和内心力量。还有些事情,是我尚未料想到,但也许有一天终将面对的,比如减肥、酒精,性以及混乱却无处不在的网络世界。
我同意作者的观点:女孩的生存空间正在变得更加复杂和危机重重,她们的现在和将来注定比我们的更丰富也更艰难。所以我赞同作者的目标:要培养一个内心强大的女孩。
在这本书里,可以清楚完整地了解女孩的心智从出生到成年的发展,并且获得许多与之相关的切实可行的建议。我自己受益更多的是书中对“了解内心”“寻找自我”“发现灵魂”这样一些更大也更艰难的题目的探讨。这些内容我之前从未在一本育儿书中读到,却帮我在养育女儿的道路上注入了更多智慧和力量。
最后,在你打开这本书之前,我很想邀请你和我一起加入书中的一个“游戏”—窥探一下你的女儿将成为什么样的女儿。
倚着你的椅子或者枕头,开始这段旅行吧。
你住在绿荫覆盖的街道上的一所宁静的房子里。已经是夜晚了,但夏日白天的阳光还残留着它的温暖。你上了年纪,但依旧强壮,状态很好。你从窗户望出去,看到马路上一辆车正在停车。
一位年轻女子从车上下来,仔细一看,你发现她正是你已经长大的女儿。
她看起来什么样?她穿着什么衣服?
她身边有伴侣吗?有孩子吗?你出门去迎她。你能看到她是什么样的人吗?
她的声音听起来如何?她有多高?她是否结实健康?她的时间和智慧用
来做什么事?让你的想象来填充这些细节。
你将她领进门,你们坐下来交谈。她跟你说了什么?你的感受如何?
我最最喜爱的,是作者对这段想象的期待:
“你能看到你给她的童年与如今她拥有的力量和品质之间的关联。你感到骄傲并且非常满意。当你离开,一个优秀的女人会继续生活,她还将把你教她的一切传给她的后代。”
嗯,这也是我对我女儿未来的期待。

……

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