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Jingdong book

当你真正开始爱自己:世间所有美好都已为你准备

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★1.当你爱着,就是伟大的。所以记得,爱情这盛宴一定要盛装出席,绽放自己。
【每个人都爱别人,包括你自己】爱情是生命给你的礼物,你却把它当武器对抗世间风刀霜剑,你觉得这世界怎么每个人爱的都是别人,相爱那么、那么难,你何尝不也是?
【通常你所理解的完美爱情,总认为应该先找到完美的人】突然你生命中出现一个完美的白马王子,告诉你他爱你,问问自己的心,你真的相信吗?真的敢要吗?
事业可以从头再来,这行不合适了可以换一个行业重新开始,只要努力,依然可以做出新的成绩。
可爱情不行,错过了也许一生都再也不会等到;就算是等到了也已经今非昨昔,今天不会有昨天的感受,昨天也不会有今天的心境。
如同人不会两次踏入同样的水流,爱情也无法复制无法延期无法改变航线,每个人的每一天都是一个新的起点。
爱着,就是伟大的。
★2.幸福和快乐的机会是女人自己给予自己的,尤其当你受过伤,更要好好爱自己,努力成长,让这伤痛都变成良药。
【若你对自己满意,就能天下无敌】闭上眼睛,看看你心中的花开成什么样。花都开好了,你对自己满意了,你想要的芬芳才会如约而来。
【给幸福一个决定,走过伤痛的告别仪式就是成长】每个伤痛都可以有一个告别仪式,你其实可以自己设计,自我疗愈,你会知道伤在哪里,告别之后,就会自然而然地成长,变得更成熟,更美丽。
轰轰烈烈地爱过,真真切切地被爱过,女人沉浸在痛苦里面,追忆和男人在一起时的欢乐时光,用回忆来填补生命的空虚。女人说她已经没有了那份等爱的心。
你看,爱情伤的是人的信心和希望,是生命意义的存在基础。女人错过了很多真心爱她的男人,她从来都没有给过他们机会,却说这个世界再也没有人可以去爱了。
其实,让女人失望的,是女人的盲目,而不是再没有了可以去爱的男人。一味地沉浸在痛苦之中,就会被痛苦迷住双眼,平白失去了很多次幸福的机会。
Content Description

陶思璇是温柔美丽的心灵导师,她不尖锐不麻辣,擅长听你的故事讲心灵的道理。她知道你其实并不希望找个人骂醒你,你只是需要倾诉,需要爱的能量与成长,你不知道这艰难的爱情与生活问题出在哪里,你不懂得爱自己,你只想让大家都爱你。
太多人告诉你女人要怎样去爱去生活,怎么讨人喜欢,可那是他们的生活不是你的,也不是你想要的。你口口声声要爱自己,口号喊了那么多年,都是空口白话。当你真正爱自己,你不会觉得那么累、那么苦、那么没有安全感;当你真正爱自己,你不会一年、两年、三年、五年总是一个样,甚至不进反退;当你真正爱自己,你不会得不到别人的爱。
别哭,陶思璇想把所有女性的美好都给你,她要告诉你恋爱的真相,婚姻的秘密,成长的条件,爱的形式,生活的无限可能,然后,她帮助你找到属于你的一条新路,教你用智慧去走用心去看——你真正爱你自己的时候,这世界为你准备的爱和美好才能被你看见。

Author Description

陶思璇,生于1972年,北师大发展与教育心理学研究生,师从心理学家陈向一教授。家庭治疗师、国家心理咨询师、 情感关系专栏作家,性与性别研究所研究员,15年情感关系研究,5年临床咨询经验。同时也是中国单身女性网CEO。在新浪微博拥有45万粉丝,是很受大众 欢迎的魅力教练,身心灵修行者,两性情感专家,情感关系畅销书作家,国家心理咨询师,家庭治疗师。
专业培训
美国AAH催眠治疗师专业培训,Satir模式家庭治疗专业训练课程,钟思嘉亲子教育父母团体领导者专业培训,慢性疼痛与治疗专业培训,哀伤治疗专业训练工作坊,心理测量与分析专业训练课程。
专业特色
对情感关系、女性问题有十几年的调查研究,师从著名心理学家陈向一教授,对于亲密关系、亲子教育有丰富的咨询经验和认识。
曾创办陶子健康工作室,独创集心理咨询、瑜珈冥想、芳香治疗为一体的系统调养法,缓解压力、调理身体。
参加活动、节目
凤凰卫视《金牌大猜想》、
CCTV-6《爱电影》、
湖南卫视《快乐大本营》,《8090》常驻情感专家
安徽卫视《第十二夜》、
东方卫视《绽放》等电视台特约两性情感心理专家;
北京电视台新情感节目《明天我要嫁给你》、
广东电视台公共频道《美丽新约》、
湖南经济频道《征服》特聘长期心理专家;
天津卫视《非你莫属》特邀嘉宾;
浙江卫视《婚姻保卫战》特邀嘉宾;
电影《爱情呼叫转移之2:爱情左右》特约心理顾问、编剧;
新浪、搜狐、优米网《在路上》,视频等网络媒体特邀两性情感专家。

Catalogue

爱情的脑:
当你受到爱的邀请,
请一定盛装出席这场盛宴
第一章怎么这世界每个人都在爱别人
004 爱情还年轻,你要等它长大
009 他爱打电玩跟他爱你是不一样的
021 相爱是两个人的礼物,想爱是一个人的武器
029 女人是怎样彻底毁在一个男人手里的
037 『不被爱』是你自己训练出来的
第二章别把自己当玫瑰,男人就不会成为你身上的刺
050 再多的『我爱你』,也抵不上一句『我娶你』
054 情场如战场,只有爱没有懂怎么hold住全场
058 什么才是一个男人的真爱?
062 他喜欢猎艳,可你别真以为自己有多艳
第三章只有完美关系,哪有完美爱人
068 世上哪有那么多真女王
075 人生本能追求美好,那么冷静为什么?
080 妈宝男是弱势群体,多数情况下你要保护他们而不是嫁给他们
099 婚姻也许不是人类最好的关系,但也不是最坏的
109 完美主义跟完美爱情可没关系
115 怎么能戴着假面具去参加真爱party
第一章你本可以很可爱,且拥有很多爱
122 连『我爱我』都不懂,怎么能爱好别人
128 你不幸福只因为不习惯有爱
137 你不敢热爱男人,可你却总想结婚
141 害怕失去,干脆就不让自己好好拥有
148 一辈子不吵架,结果一辈子憋屈死
154 分手没撕过,恋爱没遗憾
第二章先找到自己、谅解自己,再来谈情说爱
第三章幸福不是你捡回来的,而是你最重要的一个决定
Book Abstract

■每个人都有属于自己的生命能量,积极心态让我们能够自然地从四周获取更多的正向能量,我们会有愉快的心情、健康的身体,还有会不断涌来的好时机、好机会、好运气。当我们心情低落、在情感上斤斤计较的时候,就会大量损耗自己的生命能量,这是我们就会感到空虚,就会想要从他人身上获得更多的关注、照顾、重视,这时我们就会陷入混乱纠结的生命状态,不仅内耗,还要从他人身上拼命地掠夺,势必引起他人的阻止与反抗,于是彼此双方都会在痛苦中执迷不悟,直到彼此都再也没有能量继续支持这场战斗,也就我们所能够看到、感受到的两败俱伤。
如果一个人能够始终保持内省,能够学会自我觉察和觉知,就能够避免这种向外的掠夺,而是学习从大自然里汲取能量,再回馈给自然。
■很多女性都会沉溺于一段糟糕的恋情,虽然她们的意识里认为这是因为她们太看重感情,实际上在她们的潜意识里根本的原因是她们认为自己不值得拥有一份美好的感情,她们试图用“同情”为自己赢得一个不会改变的亲密关系,试图用自己的“好”来感化浪子,心存侥幸幻想自己能够成为让浪子回头然后被浪子格外珍惜的那个最后泊地,事实却是浪子往往会继续沿用自己惯用的方式,让“好女人”们成为又一个被伤害被抛弃的情感受害者,而这些情感受害者又会继续在下一个赌注里迷陷沉沦。
如果真的是看重爱情,希望从爱情中获得滋养而不是伤害,何不从一开始就去发现一片健康富饶的土壤?好的土地,好的种子,才能长出好的花朵和果实。
■在爱情是一个抚慰伤痛、充满希望的安全避风港的普遍认识下,在人们还不能分辨爱与需要的时候,当人们无法再容忍生活的烦恼时,当人们需要感情上的慰藉与庇护时,就会向爱情索取,认为自己所爱的人甚或是自己沉浸在爱中的感觉完全可以补偿自己。
在这样心态的影响下,你会对所爱的人产生极深的依赖感。这种依赖感一方面使得你的爱情充满了多疑、敏感、胡思乱想与伤害,另一方面,如果你让一个需要你,以至到他整个身心都依赖你的程度时,他就会在丧失自我、企图保留自我的矛盾挣扎中开始恨你。
……
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