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Jingdong book

教养

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教养

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人,为什么要拥有教养?就如同人为什么要优生优育、吃健康食品一样,如果说这决定了人的体质,那么教养就赢接关乎人的精神品质。一个人后天的世界观、人生观、价值观建立,和对各类人和事物的判断解读,这都是由其教养决定的。
真正的成功应是这样:不管别人怎么看,真心满足并欣赏自己的生活;知足地活着;不为各类商业炒作所诱惑;能享受寂寞孤独;无需和别人攀比,有自己的主见;更不会以世俗成功的标准,去炫耀和刻意证明自己;生老病死——在人生每个阶段都能坦然安详地去面对。
孟母三迁,是由于社会环境影响了孟子,而孟母的成功,则受益于她的家庭教育理念。而今很多家庭中的教育问题,在转学、搬家乃至傍上校长后也没能解决,其根源在于家庭环境本身。但是这些家长往往又不肯自省,一味责怪学校和社会,所以即便千方百计地转学、迁居,也不过是将问题带着一起走罢了。
国家只承认五十六个民族,也只有这五十六个民族享有同等的地位。至于低头族、啃老族、闪婚族、月光族……如果有人觉着是时尚,非得把自己划为一族的话,谁也不好说什么。人往高处走——只有向上走的人才会有阻力,才需要励志拼搏。至于甘愿沉沦,充当与世无争的低头、啃老、月光等族的朋友,只不过是给别人的进步让出了空间而已。
Author Description

金山,著名情感问题专家、作家、资深节目主持人。著有《金山夜话》《三十六计与人生》《听见》《选择》。
Catalogue

关于教养

家庭与学习篇
孩子为什么不沟通?
孩子为什么会退步?
孩子为什么总是考不好?
孩子为什么不听话?
孩子为什么好高骛远?
孩子为什么这么笨?
孩子为什么就爱看电视?
孩子为什么爱撒谎?
孩子为什么个性强?
孩子为什么不愿意“断奶”?
偏科怎么办?
你真的是一个好家长吗?

生活与婚姻篇
为什么我不幸福?
为什么必须放弃?
为什么我得不到更好的?
为什么保不住面子?
为什么结出这样的苦果?
为什么委曲不能求全?
为什么是我的错?
为什么不能放纵?
为什么无法满足?
为什么事事不遂心?
为什么回不到从前?
为什么适应不了工作?
为什么会进退两难?
为什么会如此没面子?
为什么再婚夫妻难相处?
你真的是一个好配偶吗?

理念分享篇
你的表扬可能是错的!
十二年的学校生活侧重点不同!
多报班就可以赢在起跑线上吗?
放假了,就让孩子多睡会儿吧!
有这样一些电影,你可以陪着孩子一起看!
中国老家规——这就是教养
为什么孩子要学会这样做人?
现实中的婚姻很难按照你想象的那样发展!
人际关系不好也许是自己这些方面没做好!

“学霸”分享提分方法
语文
数学
英语
化学
生物
历史
地理
物理
政治

心理测试
你是不是一个合群的人?
你有耐心吗?
你是不是一个具有强迫症的人?
你容易得罪别人吗?
你有哪些交际弱点?
检验你的思考能力
你的控制欲强吗?
承认自己的缺点
微信公众订阅号“金山白话”网友留言
金山语录
Book Abstract

《教养》:
时光机
人的一生中最痛苦的事情,大概就是不能和最亲的人沟通。我其实还算喜忧参半,虽然和父亲沟通不畅,但是庆幸和母亲的交流让我受益终生。
所谓的代沟并不是不能化解的,而是要明确阻塞沟通的位置,以及用什么标准和方式来化解,否则就是无谓的争执。
我和父亲的沟通总是以争执而结束,又很难化解。父亲总觉得我不懂事儿,当时二十几岁的我觉得自己不仅很懂事儿,还懂得很多事儿。直到我主持《金山夜话》,他走在路上被人认出来,才知道我办了这么一个节目。不论是对我的工作,还是在日常生活中,父亲从没与我有更进一步的沟通,也没有给我树立任何标准。而母亲则不一样,她给了我一个可以把控的标准——学习一项技能。在这种成功的沟通中,我也获得了实实在在的理念,那就是母亲常常说的“技不压身”。
其实,母亲很希望我能像她一样,也选择做医务工作。虽然也经历了几年刻苦的本科学习,但我最终还是没有成为一名真正的医生。后来我干过推销、当过老师、坐过机关,最终又到一线跑新闻。
我并不是不喜欢学医,所以也常常觉得很多年轻人也不是有意识地要违背父母意愿。就像常常去质疑某个观点一样,年轻人也总是会不自觉地去质疑父母的建议,总是想自己探索一条未知的趣味路径。至于职业最终的选择,还有一个重要原因——我的数理化不太好,最喜欢的一直都是文科。后来,我很顺利地考上了山东大学的汉语言文学专业,我记得母亲当时叹了一口气说:“你的确是和医学无缘啊。”而母亲的让步实际上也是对我的一种尊重和支持。
但是,她从没有因为我的选择而和我有过任何尖锐的冲突,只是在言谈话语之间,会透露一些经验和阅历给我听。比如她会说:“哎呀,从政啊,并不容易。在一个单位上要管点事儿,得会处理复杂的人际关系,你不适合搞这些东西。”但是她也从没有强迫我一定要改变现状。只是在我做过一段时间之后,总是情不自禁地想起母亲的告诫,也深感自己确实对协调上下关系力不从心。离开机关的时候,领导知道我的选择是到电台做业务,还表示惋惜。但是我自己心里很明白,只有扎扎实实掌握一项技能,才是自己的真本事。
我所看到的技能,就是主持,那便是对业务的挖掘和深入了。只是母亲当时还是持保留意见,她说:“新闻记者也好,主持人也罢,都是听起来觉得好,但总还不如医生那样具体化,那样被人需要。”
直到后来,她看到我在各个期刊上发表的文字之后,说:“你的文笔还真不错!看来人该吃哪一碗饭,是命中注定的。”尽管母亲那么渴望我学医,但她对我伏案写作的支持和发表作品的欣赏,也令我觉得十分温暖。
家里的姊妹几个,也都受到母亲深深的影响,无形之中都在接受她的理念,也都在各自的不同领域掌握了一门实实在在的技能。虽然没有一个做官的,但这些技能却是可以一直伴随我们,直到退休以后的生活,都不会孤独寂寞。
因此,我总觉得在沟通这件事情上,父母作为主动方,一定要和儿女具体围绕着一个可操控的、实实在在的理念展开。同时,父母本身也不能就是一事无成的,那些无所事事又不爱学习的孩子,怎么可能接受家长道听途说的想法呢?我能听从并接受母亲的一些理念,更重要的还是我佩服、崇敬母亲。因为她无论到哪里,总是能得到病人由衷的敬佩!
……

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