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好妈妈书架:好妈妈不吼不叫教育男孩100招(实践版)

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好妈妈教育男孩不可不读的教育智慧书
30万册畅销书《好妈妈不吼不叫教育男孩100招》重磅续作
全新内容,图解案例,轻松掌握100个教育男孩的有效方法
说谎、磨蹭、叛逆、说脏话、注意力不集中……
男孩需要管教也需要爱,好妈妈改变男孩先改变自己
好妈妈不吼不叫,才能真正走进男孩的内心,才能有智慧把男孩教育好

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Content Description

大吼大叫是很多妈妈“管教”自家男孩的常用方式,然而这种方式在很多时候只是妈妈们负面情绪的发泄,很难真正对男孩起到教育作用。
《好妈妈不吼不叫教育男孩100招(实践版)》结合男孩经常会出现的说谎、注意力不集中、叛逆、说脏话、情绪消极等问题,为读者提供了教育男孩的100个妙招,操作性强、切实有效,引导妈妈们学会控制情绪,不吼不叫,用理性和智慧的方法教育、培养出自信、自立、充满爱心、有责任感的优秀男孩。

Author Description

鲁鹏程,家庭教育研究者,家庭教育畅销书作者。
●中国教育学会家庭教育专业委员会会员,中国青少年研究会家庭教育研究专业会会员,国家认证心理咨询师。拥有深厚的教育实践经验,曾长期担任一线教师,多次被评为“学生最喜爱的老师”。
●机械工业出版社成立60周年“颇具影响力作者”。已出版家庭教育著作多部。其中《好妈妈不吼不叫教育男孩100招》自2011年出版以来持续加印,长期雄踞各大图书排行榜前列。《让孩子吃点苦吧》入选“2011—2012年中国十大家庭教育图书”。《我家孩子爱学习》入选《中国教育报》“2011年教师暑期阅读推荐书目”。另有多部作品版权输往海外。
●中央人民广播电台《阳光芳草地》、江苏电视台《家有儿女》、凤凰网《智汇访谈》等节目特约访谈嘉宾。曾受邀在全国妇联、北京大学等做过多场专题讲座。
●中央电视台少儿频道、北京人民广播电台故事广播频道、青岛电视台综合频道、《中国教育报》、《中国出版传媒商报》等媒体曾多次报道其作品。

Catalogue

前言 好妈妈不吼不叫,才能有智慧把男孩教育好

第1章 好妈妈不吼不叫,先改变自己才能改变男孩
不能让"都是为了他好"成为对男孩吼叫的理由
在男孩面前要理性不要失控,想大吼大叫时深呼吸
家庭教育是与男孩的双向交流,是与他一起成长
面对犯错误的男孩,要想方设法平息自己的怒气
帮助男孩把错误变成学习和成长的好机会
妈妈要肯于放低身段向男孩学习
对男孩能来到我们身边心怀感恩
不强制男孩学习,只需让他看到妈妈认真读书学习的样子
深爱"另一半",好的家庭关系才是男孩幸福的基础
在教育问题上,与"另一半"组成"统一战线"

第2章 正确看待男孩的"出格"行为,对他不吼不叫
不要斥责男孩的涂鸦行为,那是他无意识的"恶作剧"
漫画书并不都是有害的,不要禁止男孩看漫画书
对男孩粗鲁的语言甚至脏话要宽容地看待
蹲下来,与男孩一起享受"破坏"玩具的乐趣
对于男孩天真的"谎言",可以用愉悦的心情去看待
男孩独处时可能是在思考,所以不要去打扰他
善待男孩收集的小玩意儿,因为那是他的财富
面对男孩的不良嗜好,妈妈应积极主动地采取措施

第三章 走进男孩的世界,好的关系胜过很多"不吼不叫"
主动架起与男孩心灵相通的"桥梁"
理解男孩,接纳男孩,相信男孩
通过倾听理解男孩,倾听时不走神、不分心
让"家庭会议"改善我们与男孩间的关系
间接传达对男孩的褒奖,会让他更加振奋
要让男孩从失败中汲取教训,首先就要夸奖他
不命令男孩,多用"疑问句"的说话方式
用"妈妈是这样认为的…"来对男孩提出意见
对男孩说话,不要使用"杀伤性语言"
站在男孩的同等高度,跟他聊聊"共同话题"
好好利用晚餐时光跟男孩聊天,但要少聊或不聊学习
利用好各种非语言方式与男孩沟通
关注男孩的精神需求,多抽点时间陪陪他
把握好跟青春期叛逆男孩有效沟通的几个关键

第四章 面对"不听话"的男孩,用巧妙"提问"代替吼叫
妈妈先具备一点反思精神,对自己进行"反思性提问"
尝试着向男孩提出一些反思性的问题
要对男孩提"有效问题",避免"无效问题"
用好这个问题--"你是怎么认为的?"
鼓励男孩的奇思妙想或新奇发现--"又有什么新发现?"
……
第五章 好妈妈不吼不叫,读懂男孩的负面情绪并及时帮他调整
第六章 对男孩从心态到方法都要积极,不要消极吼叫
第七章 学点男孩教育心理学,不吼不叫满足他的心理需求
第八章 让家长为男孩成长的地方,成为他教养的起点
第九章 对男孩"左手爱""右手管教",但不要走入误区
第十章 不吼不叫,正确看待并科学地解决男孩的问题
Book Abstract

每一位妈妈都有一颗为了孩子好的心,但是却不应该让“都是为了他好”成为我们对男孩吼叫的理由。吼叫,其实并非真的“都是为了他好”!
生活中确实有那么一些妈妈不够理性。
一位妈妈就曾很头疼地说道:“家里有个男孩,那真是能闹翻了天。他太调皮了,总是能闯出各种祸来。而且什么都做不好,总是给我找麻烦。一看见他又出问题,我就忍不住发火,好言细语跟他说,他是绝对听不进去的,我看也就吼叫才能吓住他,才能让他乖乖听话。”随即,她话锋一转,脱口而出:“我还不是为了他好!”
看,“还不是为了他好”,多么堂而皇之的理由!
虽然,我们吼叫完了以后,那个调皮的小男孩看似在当时的确会变得安静了一些,但这种安静却并不会保持很久。一段时间之后,他会依旧我行我素,因为他的内心并没有“安静”下来。我们自以为吼叫是为了男孩好,可他如此“不领情”,常常会令我们感到更加头疼。想必很多妈妈对此会深有体会吧?
但这到底是为什么呢?
原因很简单,我们的吼叫只不过是在发泄我们的情绪罢了,只不过是我们自认为在为男孩着想而已。“为了男孩好”在事实上是不存在的。
看到这里,也许有的妈妈很不服气:“要不是为了他,谁会大发脾气啊?谁会那样子吼叫啊?”这话没错,但是我们吼叫的内容是什么呢?无非就是数落男孩的不是,并不断表达我们自身的失望,同时还可能会严厉地要求他下次注意,或者给他一些惩罚。
我们表达出来的东西多半都与心情有关。这些我们想要告诉孩子的内容,为什么一定是要吼叫出来的呢?平静地说难道就不能表达吗?情绪越是平稳,话语就能表达得越清楚,反倒是激动情况下,越是难以控制言语的轻重。
情绪会传染,情绪失控的妈妈往往会教出情绪化的孩子!
说得“狠”一点,吼叫只能体现一个人的无能,正因为无计可施,才只得选择看上去很“厉害”的表面招数。长此以往,男孩难免就会认为“妈妈其实并没有再多的法子教育我”,他的表现要么一如既往,要么变本加厉,最终将会导致我们对他的教育更难以实行。
更值得注意的是,此时男孩的服从只是一种表面服从,他可能只不过是因为恐惧才不得不服从的。而且,他也会记录下我们大吼大叫的样子,下次当他遇到某些问题时,他也将照猫画虎地学我们的样子用吼叫的方式去应对。
如果男孩学会了用吼叫的方式去处理问题,那么在别人眼中,他岂不是就会落得个“粗暴无礼”的坏印象。到了这个地步,难道我们还能说是在为他好吗?
所以,别再用“都是为了他好”这样的理由来“解释”自己的吼叫了,更不要用这样的理由去为自己近乎失控的行为去作掩护。若是真的为了男孩好,就该在教育这个问题上有更为深刻的思考。身为长辈,我们理应要有长辈的威严与智慧,教育男孩时,应该多动脑筋,多静下心来去观察,去了解,去学习,才能找到最适合解决男孩问题的好办法。
……
Introduction

好妈妈不吼不叫,才能有智慧把男孩教育好
这些年,我一直在从事家庭教育研究,看到周围很多年轻妈妈都对自己的孩子大吼大叫,尤其是对男孩,吼叫得相对更多一些。我为这些年轻妈妈的做法感到很担心,因为她们不知道自己的一次吼叫,很可能会让幼小的孩子产生心理阴影,会使他变得心灵脆弱,甚至在长大后还会因为年幼时的心理阴影而难以有好的人生发展。所以,妈妈不经意的吼叫,很可能会毁掉孩子的幸福生活和美好前程。
有感于此,我在2011年初写了这样一本书一一《好妈妈不吼不叫教育男孩100招》。从书名就能看出这本书在讲什么,是给谁看的,是用来教育谁的。这本书在2011年7月由机械工业出版社出版后,受到了广大读者的热烈欢迎。很多读者在博客、微博、亲子论坛、育儿群、读书会上,以各种方式热情地向大家讲述读这本书之后的心得体会,并向大家强烈推荐这本书。在读者的“口口相传”之下,这本书一印再印,畅销全国,并且被当当网评为“终身五星级图书”。能取得这样的成绩,我要感谢大家对这本书的厚爱。
这本书出版后,有不少读者通过不同的渠道向出版社或我本人反馈,希望能看到这本书的“续集”,希望能学到更多的实用的教育男孩的方法。在经过了一段时间的思考、调研、论证后,我决定再写这本书的“续集”,以满足读者读书学习的愿望。这本“续集”紧紧围绕“不吼不叫”这个核心主题,最大程度地突出“实践”功能,也就是集中把更加实用的“不吼不叫教育男孩”的方法展示出来。每一种方法,都是极具可操作性的,都是非常实用的,也都是行之有效的。本书与之前的《好妈妈不吼不叫教育男孩100招》虽然都是“100招”,但本书提供的是全新的“100招”,与前一本书在內容上没有重复。尽管如此,这两本书却是“一脉相承”的,所以,您可以直接阅读本书,但如果没有读过《好妈妈不吼不叫教育男孩100招》这本书的话,还是建议您两本书一起读一下,这样可以获得更加系统的教育男孩的智慧与方法。
在这里,我想再强调这样一个核心的家庭教育智慧:好妈妈不吼不叫,才能有智慧把男孩教育奸。这其中的原因是什么?关于这一点我之前也提到过:如果妈妈“大吼大叫”,希望在气势上“压倒”男孩,男孩是不会“听话”的。正所谓“势服人,心不然;理服人,方无言”,只有在“理”上让人信服,他才会心悦诚服。所以,妈妈控制不住自己的情绪,不但不会把男孩教育好,还会影响自己在男孩心中的威信,更会有损于自己的身体健康。“掌控情绪,才能掌握未来”,所以妈妈一定要控制好自己的情绪。只有把精力用在控制自己的情绪和行为上,才不会去过多地控制男孩的情绪和行为。
家庭教育实践证明:不吼不叫地教育男孩,是一种教育智慧,更是一种教育艺术。这样的教育方式,对男孩是一种尊重,男孩在妈妈那里感受到的是真诚的爱,是真诚的教诲,而不是冲动,不是情绪的发泄。所以,妈妈在教育男孩的时候要做到“理直气和”“理直气平”,当妈妈变得理性的时候,教育男孩时才会更有方法与智慧,教育效果才会更好。
虽然这本书一直在说“妈妈教男孩”,但这并不是说,做爸爸的就可以推卸自己对男孩应尽的教育责任,爸爸也应该多加学习,利用有限的时间对男孩施以最好的教育。当然,做爸爸的也应该秉持“不吼不叫”的教育理念,与妈妈一道,把家庭教育当成自己的另一项事业。
再来说一下本书的主要内容。本书从10个方面,全面总结了100种“不吼不叫教育男孩”的实用方法:好妈妈不吼不叫,先改变自己才能改变男孩;正确看待男孩的“出格”行为,对他不吼不叫;定进男孩的世界,好的关系胜过很多“大吼大叫”;面对“不听话”的男孩,用巧妙“提问”代替吼口u;好妈妈不吼不叫,读懂男孩的负面情绪并及时帮他调整;对男孩从心态到方法都要积极,不要消极吼叫;学点男孩教育心理学,不吼不叫满足他的心理需求;让家成为男孩成长的地方,成为他教养的起点;对男孩“左手爱”“右手管教”,但不要走入误区;不吼不叫,正确看待并科学地解决男孩的问题。


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Yami has a consolidation warehouse in China which collects multiple sellers’ packages and combines to one order. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to your door. Cross-store free shipping over $69.

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You may return products within 30 days upon receiving the products. Sellers take responsibilities for any wrong shipment or missing items. Packing needs to be unopened for any other than quality issues return. We promise to pack carefully, but because goods are taking long journey to destinations, simple damages to packaging may occur. Any damages not causing internal goods quality problems are not allowed to return. If you open the package and any quality problem is found, please contact customer service within three days after receipt of goods.

Shipping Information

Yami Consolidation Service Shipping Fee $9.99(Free shipping over $69)

Sellers in China will ship their orders within 1-2 business days once the order is placed. Packages are sent to our consolidation warehouse in China and combined there. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to you via UPS. The average time for UPS to ship from China to the United States is about 10 working days and it can be traced using the tracking number. Due to the pandemic, the delivery time may be delayed by about 5 days. The package needs to be signed by the guest. If the receipt is not signed, the customer shall bear the risk of loss of the package.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Free shipping over 69
Genuine guarantee

Shipping

Yami Consolidated Shipping $9.99(Free shipping over $69)


Seller will ship the orders within 1-2 business days. The logistics time limit is expected to be 7-15 working days. In case of customs clearance, the delivery time will be extended by 3-7 days. The final receipt date is subject to the information of the postal company.

Yami Points information

All items are excluding from any promotion or points events on Yamibuy.com

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

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About the brand

Jingdong book

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About the brand

Jingdong book