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Jingdong book

别让不好意思害了你

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Jingdong book

别让不好意思害了你

Name: 别让不好意思害了你
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3112010291
Price: 17.84 USD
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学会拒绝和要求，学会赞美和沟通，不再懦弱和自卑，做“强势”的自己！！！

生活中大部分的麻烦来源于说 “Yes”太快说 “No ”太慢！
每天被不好意思伤害一点，一年积累下来就是大危害，一辈子积累下来就是彻底让你失败！

更多精彩请点击：

Content Description

一直来，我们推崇敦厚、谦让的品格，从小，父母一边潜移默化一边耳提面命地教育我们要谦让，要相信吃亏是福，从而导致了大部分人不好意思，所以遇事不争，委曲求全。
随着时代的发展，目前社会越来越遵循丛林法则，适者生存，弱肉强食之下，不好意思已经是懦弱、无能、自卑的代名词。
我们时刻受到不好意思的伤害——
不好意思争取合理利益，从而处处受损；不好意思拒绝无理要求，从而麻烦不断；不好意思赞美，从而失去升迁机会……
《别让不好意思害了你》一书，让你彻底意识到不好意思的危害，完全去掉不好意思的心理疾病。
学会拒绝别人和要求，学会赞美和沟通，不再懦弱和自卑，做生活中的主人！！！

Author Description

周维丽，心理咨询师，作家，长期以来一直潜心从事心理学及人体潜能开发工作。2009年，周维丽在诸多地方发起“从现在开始改变”的活动，已有近两百万人开始参加到活动中来。《别让不好意思害了你》一书主张人们要学会拒绝和要求，不再懦弱和自卑，做“强势”的自己，充分体现了作者多年的研究所得，必将为你的人生带来好运。

Catalogue

第一章“不好意思”是成功的绊脚石——失败的心理定律

你有一个信念，就是你能够很好地完成自己承担的工作，你就会觉得你在工作中很有信心。你常常这样想并在实践中想方设法去做好工作，信心就会更强，这就是你的行动加深了你的心态。反之，如果你受到过多的消极心理暗示，久而久之，消极因素就会如毒蛇般盘踞在你的心头。

1. 贴标签效应：懦弱自卑 / 002

2. 蝴蝶效应：影响生活 / 006

3. 登门槛效应：利益受损 / 009

4. 酒·污水效应：难成大事 / 012

第二章了解掌握“不好意思”的成因——对症下药的前提

任何事情的发生，都有其必然的原因。有因才有果。换句话说，你在看到任何现象的时候，你不用觉得不可理解或者奇怪，因为任何事情的发生都必有其原因。你今天的现状结果正是你过去种下的因所导致的。

1. 自卑心理——你会丧失许多自我发展的机会 / 016

2. 羞怯心理——无法充分表达自己的思想感情 / 019

3. 孤僻心理——享受自我而不愿参与群体活动 / 022

4. 多疑心理——人为地制造交往的阻力和障碍 / 026

第三章一个人最为重要的是他的内心——别“不好意思”

自信的力量，在于即使你身处逆境，亦能帮助你扬起前进的风帆；自信的伟大，在于即使遭遇不幸，亦能召唤你鼓起生活的勇气。自信是一种无坚不摧的伟大力量；自信，是蕴藏在心中的一团永不熄灭的火焰；自信，是成功的起点，是人生的坚强支柱。

1. 把握自卑的分寸有种自卑叫自信 / 032

2. 彻底地踩碎自卑拥有自信的姿态 / 037

3. 自信需自我超越人生低谷可坚守 / 041

4. 点滴中培养自信不灭的信念之火 / 046

第四章行事果断——做一个拒绝“不好意思”的人

人生路上，有得有失，要有取舍。要取得成功，你必须学会拒绝，拒绝安逸，拒绝诱惑，拒绝眼前的利益……当然一定要对“不好意思”说“不”。懂得拒绝“不好意思”的人，生活才会赐予他更多，才会使他成为生活的强者。聪明的你，此时此刻，你是否已经微笑着领悟了拒绝的真谛？

（一）死要面子活受罪——都是“不好意思”惹的祸

1. 为什么中国人大多好面子 / 057

2. 该低头时就低头：走出面子的误区 / 061

3. 求人办事遭冷遇，千万不可拂袖去 / 065

4. 丢掉虚荣的面子，解救他人的脸面 / 068

（二）口是心非最难受——都是“不好意思”闯的祸

1. 拒绝当做家常饭生活才会有滋味 / 072

2. 拒绝他人莫伤情此门学问须精通 / 075

3. 拒绝他人之境界幽默艺术来应用 / 085

4. 该说“不”时就说“不”但别让对方说“不” / 089

（三）金口难开不合适——都是“不好意思”犯的错

1. 口才哪能天生会艺术原则须牢记 / 096

2. 轻松打开话匣子一见如故不陌生 / 103

3. 自我表露近关系不会可以用笑容 / 109

4. 家庭幽默促亲情交谈相处有禁忌 / 114

（四）忠言逆耳不利行——都是“不好意思”出了错

1. 以批评为镜可以明得失：兼听则明 / 124

2. 把批评自己的人当敌人：为渊驱鱼 / 127

3. 批评是柄双刃剑，把握分寸与方法 / 130

4. 若是猛打一巴掌，切记定要揉三下 / 135

第五章圆熟变通——做个“好意思”的人

做人不要恃才傲物，你要学会感谢他人、与人分享、为人谦卑、容人之过、大度睿智地低调做人，放下自我的清高，多走动走动，去欣赏别人的优秀，赞扬他人的闪光点，在生活中试着做个“好意思”的人。

（一）认同认可得学会

1. 美言：多看别人的优点 / 141

2. 认同：表达你对别人的好感 / 143

3. 尊重他人包容他人 / 146

4. 专心倾听心存敬意 / 149

（二）做人谦逊懂低调

1. 放下清高谦逊一点 / 155

2. 收起你的优越感 / 158

3. 越是低调越受推崇 / 160

4. 平时多烧香不忘拜冷庙 / 162

（三）赞不离口好“促销”

1. 赞美的话在当下轻启玉口有艺术 / 167

2. 适当赞美获好感背后赞美更有效 / 171

3. 喜听好话是天性多谈对方得意事 / 175

4. 毋对自己太吝啬别忘随时鼓鼓掌 / 178

（四）知恩图报是良言

1. “谢谢”两字很平常会说之人得人心 / 182

2. 心中常常怀感恩生活天天乐悠悠 / 185

3. 感恩之花须培育手中玫瑰常拥有 / 188

4. 感恩的最高境界：感谢最不该感谢的人 / 191

第六章能“断”能“忍”——别让“面子”害了你

为人处世非有能“断”能“忍”的工夫不可。如果为人内向腼腆，不能忍受各种在处世交往中的屈辱，过于顾及自己的面子，就不能够与朋友和敌人相处，更不可能抓住机会显示自己。即使本身有出众的才智，也会被淹没在芸芸众生里。我们主张能“断”能“忍”，不是简单的诡计多端、狡诈阴险，它更多包含了睿智、谋略与高瞻远瞩的深刻内涵。谁要想充分实现自我的价值与质量，谁就要拥有较别人更多的智慧与韬略，这是现代人要成功所必需的。

1. 脸薄心软怕得罪事情注定要办坏 / 194

2. 在小处忍让，在大处获胜 / 197

3. 忍住愤怒，控制情绪 / 200

Book Abstract

了解“贴标签效应”
在第二次世界大战期间，美国由于兵力不足，而战争又的确需要一批军人。于是，美国政府就决定组织关在监狱里的犯人上前线战斗。为此，美国政府特派了几个心理学专家对犯人进行了战前的训练和动员，并随他们一起到前线作战。
训练期间心理学专家们对他们不过多地进行说教，而特别强调犯人们每周给自己最亲的人写一封信。信的内容由心理学家统一拟定，叙述的是犯人在狱中的表现是如何地好，如何地接受教育，改过自新等。专家们要求犯人们认真抄写后寄给自己最亲爱的人。
三个月后，犯人们开赴前线，专家们要犯人给亲人的信中写自己是如何地服从指挥，如何地勇敢等。
结果，这批犯人在战场上的表现比起正规军来毫不逊色，他们在战斗中正如他们信中所说的那样服从指挥，那样勇敢拼搏。后来，心理学家就把这一现象称为“贴标签效应”，心理学上也叫“暗示效应”。
这一心理规律在家庭教育中有着极其重要的作用，例如，父母老对着孩子吼“笨蛋”“猪头”等，时间长了孩子可能就会真的成为父母所说的“笨蛋”。
其实，成人也亦如此。要是一个成人在人际交往时，总是在内心回应自己“这个很不好意思的！”久而久之，在无数次的不自信后，潜移默化中给自己贴上了“懦弱自卑”的标签。
☆小故事
行动成功国际教育集团董事长李践，在一次演讲中提到了自己“从小乞丐到李嘉诚得力干将”的坎坷人生经历，向到场的广州企业家和青年创业者讲授了为商的成功之道。如果不是亲耳听到他对昔日岁月的回忆，我们甚至很难把眼前这位意气风发的“不惑”男子与“乞丐”、“自卑”等词语联系到一起；也很难把这位笑容灿烂、文质彬彬的商人与“中国最早的跆拳道教练”这一“武行”职称联系在一起。
小时候，李践家里很穷，在他8岁的时候，因为父亲到外地工作，有一次李践稀里糊涂地就离家出走了，从此沦为了一名小乞丐。有一天晚上，他露宿在昆明火车站，两个无聊、想找乐子的小乞丐趁他睡着的时候，用烟头烫他的脚。李践疼醒后，立马起身去追他们，一直追到了火车站广场，他惊恐地发现眼前站着20多个乞丐，其中年纪最大的“头头”大概20多岁。头头对李践说：“咱们做个游戏吧，你叫我们爷爷，如果声音够大，我们就放你走；如果声音不够大，你每叫一次，我们就打你一次。”被逼无奈之下，胆怯的李践扯开了嗓门，用尽了浑身力气叫了声“爷爷！”可是迎接他的却是“啪”的一个巴掌……最终，李践被打了100多个巴掌，脸已肿得不成样子了。后来，李践爸爸把他找了回去。
那次经历使原本就不自信的李践变得更加自卑了。“胆怯”“懦弱”和“自卑”成了他性格的全部写照。上高中的时候，李践由于买不起菜，常常从家里带豆瓣酱到学校以省下菜钱，他怕同学嘲笑他穷，所以每次都等别人吃完了再独自去食堂买饭。越穷越自卑，李践的学习成绩很不好，父母对他不抱任何希望。高中毕业后，他就参加了工作……
……

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