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Jingdong book

别让不好意思害了你

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Books Motivation & Success Interpersonal and Social

Jingdong book

别让不好意思害了你

Name: 别让不好意思害了你
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3112012311
Price: 17.80 USD
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《别让不好意思害了你》主张人们要学会拒绝和要求，不再懦弱和自卑，做“强势”的自己，充分体现了作者多年的研究所得，必将为你的人生带来好运。让读者彻底意识到不好意思的危害，引导读者去掉不好意思的心理，完全去掉不好意思的心理疾病。学会拒绝别人和要求，学会赞美和沟通，不再懦弱和自卑，做生活中的主人！

Catalogue

上篇很多事，总在“不好意思”中错失
第1章求人办事：不好意思=事难成
不好意思问路，便摸不清方向
越是难为情，越是受难为
不好意思疏通关系，错失大好机会
遭冷遇，小自尊很受伤
要懂得经营好人际关系
第2章你情我爱：不好意思=错过幸福
爱他，却不好意思说出来
有要求，始终未让对方知道
不好意思低头，感情只会越来越冷
就差那么一点“死缠烂打
缘何婚姻冷落了爱情？
放任暖昧就是放任背叛
第3章职场打拼：不好意思=错失成长
不好意思问，便无法成长
不好意思抢机会，怎么长经验
永远不要坐等老板主动加薪
不好意思与客户沟通，吃亏的是业绩
不好意思维权，不公平待遇里便总有你
第4章社会交际：不好意思=缺失人脉
不好意思主动打招呼
长辈都喜欢嘴甜的人
和异性交往，话没说脸先红
人多脑子就一片空白，不知说什么
歌唱得好，但是陌生人在场就是K不起来
第5章生意场上：不好意思：失财
不好意思“叫卖”，便赚不到钱
不好意思还价，便只能多掏钱
有些债，你不提醒就要不回来
亲兄弟不明算账，最后就是笔“糊涂账
无数“小钱”等于“大钱
第6章拒绝他人：不好意思=麻烦事缠上身
你越“不好意思”，别人就越“好意思”
死要面子的结果往往是“活受罪
借钱不拒，要钱受罪
骗子最爱的就是不会拒绝的人
不拒殷勤，小心嘴软、手软

下篇人生，其实可以活得更坦荡
第7章不好意思为哪般
虚荣，觉得“没面子
与生俱来的性格所致
胆怯在作祟
脸皮薄，太害羞
想得太多
十分傲骨，不留一分低姿态
第8章拥有自信，你会更“好意思”
再低微，也要开出花来
给自己塑一份好的信仰
人最大的敌人是自己
假装自信，装着装着便真了
不要太在意别人怎么看你
多和开朗自信的人交往
第9章存留三分冷漠不是罪
面对假乞，漠视无罪
过度热情地推销，从开始就不要给希望
古来真理：长痛不如短痛
遇到性骚扰，不做沉默的羔羊
果断拒绝不正当的私人应酬
第10章口才好，说起来更“好意思”
广涉知识面，轻松打开话匣子
适度幽默，说起话来会更有吸引力
事先打草稿，演练一下
听出“弦外之音”，对接自如
做到“赞美而不恭维
借题发挥，抓住兴趣话题一展谈吐
投其所好，多谈对方得意事
第11章偶尔小庸俗一下，给清高放个假
怕糗，便只会更糗
礼数周到好办事
偶尔应酬一下，融人大环境
附录：测一测
→你的不好意思指数是多少？
→不好意思带给你的“失财指数”是多少？

Book Abstract

因此，一个在社会混迹多年的人都知道，有时候要懂得拒绝，要明白用什么方法去拒绝。其实，很多人都明白这个道理。但是需要自己去实施的时候，始终无法做到。于是有些人说，这类人不懂得拒绝，没有把握拒绝的技巧与方法。其实不然，让这类人总是无法做到拒绝的并不是他没有把握拒绝的技巧，也不是不知道拒绝的重要性，而是不好意思拒绝。
因为不好意思拒绝，所以有些事你不得不做，有些忙你不得不帮，为此，你看似每天忙忙碌碌，而自己的工作却完成得很少，就自身的工作效率来说，总是很低。尤其对是我们礼仪之邦的中国人来说，这种情况颇为常见。
有一位朋友，总是觉得自己心理有问题，那天他去找一位心理医生，问道： “我这个人不爱计较，别人请我帮忙的事情，我一般都不会拒绝，尽管有时候自己确实不方便，但还是会帮他人去做，但或多或少的会耽误我自己的事。我也想过像别人一样去拒绝，可总是感觉不好意思，总觉得都是举手之劳的事情，我是不是心理不坚定、缺乏原则，或者有其它问题呢？”
……

Introduction

不好意思害死人
在你的有生之年，是否有以下情况：
对于父母，你不好意思说爱，等某天追悔莫及，却再也没有了补救的机会：
对于暗恋对象，你不好意思表白，于是便错失了一段姻缘；
对于过错，你不好意思说“对不起”，于是让隔阂变得越来越深；
对于误会，你不好意思解释，便让误会一再升级；
对于裂痕，你不好意思低头补救，便让感情越来越冷；
对于债务，你不好意思去索要，于是总也还不回来，自己的血汗钱却被别人挥霍着；
对于无理请求，你不好意思说“不”，于是只能硬着头皮去做．便宜了别人，劳累了自己：
对于过分要求，你不好意思拒绝，于是别人便越好意思一再要求，要求你为他做得更多；
对于暧昧，你不好意思快剑斩情丝，于是暧昧渐渐超出了掌控，离间了婚姻和爱恋；
对于交际，你不好意思寒暄，与群体格格不入，于是工作机会、升职、加薪这些好事总是别人的，从来落不到自己头上；
对于利益，你不好意思主动索要，于是只能眼睁睁看着别人做“会哭的孩子”总“有奶吃”，自己却只能干饿着；
……
对于以上情况，如果在你的身上经常发生，并存在很多种，那么实在该警惕，因为“不好意思”正阻碍着你个人的发展。
在当代，个人的“不好意思”心理可以说要比以往任何一个年代都要强烈。随着人们思想观念的提高，高等教育的普遍实施，人们各个方面的素质也都随之提升，这样便出现了一个很有意思的现象：因为文化素养提高，有些人会更加看重个人的面子、地位等问题，所以在某些事情上他会更加觉得“不好意思”。比如，朋友向你借钱，你不好意思拒绝，到了还款日期之后，你又不好意思索要。因为你觉得是朋友，所以不好意思。从此，社会上便出现了很多像你这样的说不清的官司，友谊也因此四分五裂。
当然．这只是导致人不好意思的一方面，个人的性格、生活环境等因素也是影响一个人对某些事情“不好意思”的原因之一。
总之，个人的“不好意思”通常会给自己带来消极的影响。如果太阳不好意思露脸，便没有晴天；星月若不好意思闪耀，便没有了璀璨的星空；风若不好意思吹云，便没有雨；种子若不好意思发芽，便没有花草树木……
人若不好意思呢？其中的苦涩滋味恐怕只有自己知道了。
有些人，因为有些话不好意思说，有些事不好意思做，所以在生活中饱受忧虑、痛苦、伤害、煎熬……
最近在媒体中看到了关于性骚扰、性侵犯的事情，让人不可恩议的是。警察抓住犯罪分子后，经调查确认犯罪分子曾犯过多起案件，而当让受害人前来指认时，却没有_个人来，这是为何？
主要原因就是——不好意思。对于性骚扰，不好意思严词拒绝，于是性骚扰者更加肆无忌惮、明目张胆；对于性侵犯，不好意思声张、控诉、提告，于是只能倍受要挟，助长犯罪者的气焰，使得更多的人受到伤害。
因为不好意思指认，犯罪分子就可能会逍遥法外，这不仅对自己来说不公平，而且对社会也是一种危害，是一种害人害己的行为。
不好意思者，总是被动的；好意思者，总是主动的，占据主导地位。
我们生活的一个个圈子中，不论三教九流的人，都可分为好意思和不好意思两大类。机会、财富等好事就像新鲜、美味的食物，一旦抛下，哄抢的总是那些“好意思者”，不好意思者只能流着口水在旁观看，坐等着送食者主动将食物送到眼前说：“亲爱的，吃吧。”所以，不好意思者不是不想要好事，而是梦想着更大的好事。
不公待遇、无理要求等坏事就像一群“嗡嗡”叫的蚊子，一旦来临，大叫、轰赶的总是好意思者。而不好意思者只能默默承受着，任由这些蚊子吸着自己的血，带给自己巨痒难忍的煎熬。
有些东西，原本应该属于我们，但却被那些“太好意思”的人抢走了，而因为我们太不好意思，原本属于别人的过错，却由我们去付出辛劳，承受痛苦。
对此，与其愤恨、谩骂，不如改变自己。不是让自己变得多么圆滑、厚黑，而是勇于去争取自己应得的，避开那些不公、不合理的要求和待遇。
抛弃“不好意思”，让自己变得更好意思一些，这样才能更好地“守护”自己，让自己免受伤害，坐拥美好。
也许你觉得，自己的“不好意思”是很自然地从心里产生的，自己也无法控制，那该怎么办呢？
现在翻到本书第一页，带着美好的心情看下去，相信你能够解决疑惑。

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