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Jingdong book

让你人际烦恼一扫光的社交心理学

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让你人际烦恼一扫光的社交心理学

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★最有效的社交心理战术,最热门的社交心理说明书。
★8堂课10大定律9大技巧快速提升你的社交力。
★窥破心理奥秘,轻松玩转社交,人生左右逢源。
★洞察心理奥秘,跟谁都能说上话,跟谁都能交朋友!
★读懂人心,才能搞定人际。一书在手,社交无忧。
★一本书让你扫除所有人际烦恼,轻松变身社交达人。

Content Description

人与人之间的交往,其实心理揣摩、心理博弈的过程。政治家往往是揣摩心理的高手,而商人为了得到顾客的欢心则更是绞尽脑汁。即使是我们普通人,大到为了成就一番事业,小到为了防止吃亏上当,也都要对人的心理规律有一个基本的掌握。要想与你周围的人有效交往,就离不开对人的心理的体察。
人心既精细微妙,又复杂多变,难以把握,让人烦恼不堪、纠结不已。如何战胜自己人际交往的心理障碍?如何用最快速的时间拉近彼此的距离?如何品味出对方语言中想要表达的真实意图?如何洞察人心,轻松行走社交?如何建立四通八达的人脉网?
《让你人际烦恼一扫光的社交心理学》巧妙地将心理学和社交学融合在一起,揭示了人们心理变化的规律,对社会交往中可能遇到的各种问题和困境进行了详尽的分析,并提供了最具实战效用的解决思路与方法,帮助你提升社交技巧和能力,了解人们外在行为背后的心理奥秘,掌控人际交往主动权,开创左右逢源、如鱼得水的人生局面。

Author Description

牧之,1997年北京师范大学心理学硕士毕业,1999年赴美深造,获心理学博士学位,2004年回国,从事心理辅导工作。现为心理学专栏作家。出版有《管理要读心理学》《心理健康枕边书》《心理学的帮助》等畅销书。
Catalogue

第1章掌握潜规则,构建心之桥——不可不知的社交心理效应与定律
首因效应——第一印象是长期交往的基础
近因效应——最新的认识会掩盖了以往的评价
晕轮效应——为什么会“以偏概全”“爱屋及乌”
自我暴露定律——自我暴露有时是给人好感的前提
以貌取人定律——人们会对容貌美的人更有好感
交往适度定律——对别人过好,有时会对自己不利
欲扬先抑定律——先贬后褒、先抑后扬
情感征服定律——情感有时比利益更能打动人心
换位思考定律——设身处地理解别人能给人好感
交际氛围定律——营造交际氛围有利于交际成功
第2章心态对了,交际就对了——社交心理障碍的自我调节
如何克服腼腆
如何克服嫉妒
如何克服猜疑
如何克服偏见
如何改变消极思维
如何远离社交恐惧症
如何战胜孤独
如何克服社交中的庸俗习气
怎样杜绝社交中的轻率态度
如何控制社交中的情绪波动
第3章看穿他人小心思,掌控交际主动权——瞬间读懂、掌控你周围的人
社交高手必善体察人心
培养在社交中观察人的能力
听其言、观其行、察其心
如何从细节观察男人——读懂男人的行为与体态
如何从细节观察女人——读懂女人的行为与体态
第4章赢得他人好感,拉近心理距离——让自己处处受人欢迎的社交技巧
怎样的人受人欢迎
让别人感觉你“很成功”的社交技巧
让别人感觉你“可以信赖”的社交技巧
让别人认为你“做事很积极”的社交技巧
让别人感觉你很有才干的社交技巧
增加与他人的亲密感的社交技巧
增强你的幽默感的社交技巧
获得他人好感的社交技巧
受领导欢迎的社交技巧
受同事欢迎的社交技巧
第5章社交有艺术,难题一扫光——如何巧妙化解社交活动中的难题
如何选择社交的地点
如何选择社交的时间
如何巧妙地拒绝别人
如何面对别人的指责
如何面对别人的讥讽
如何向别人道歉
如何避免争吵
如何得体地指出别人的缺点
如何批评别人
如何解除误会
翻脸后如何重修旧好
面对不必要的邀请如何应答
学会示弱——消除他人不满和嫉妒的妙方
怎样安慰别人——要做雪中送炭的人
如何化干戈为玉帛
第6章这样说话最讨人喜欢——社交达人的口才攻心术
称呼得体
寒暄得当
如何做自我介绍
介绍他人应注意的问题
社交场合的常用语
说话要注意方法
如何进行自我辩解
如何赞美别人
怎样知己知彼
投其所好的妙处
和陌生人交谈的社交口才
社交口才的实用技巧
第7章人见人爱的形象,征服人心的气场——社交形象背后的心理秘密
塑造个人社交形象的基本要求
形象来自仪态美
形象来自服饰美(一):原则篇
形象来自服饰美(二):男士篇
形象来自服饰美(三):女士篇
第8章优雅社交的范儿,俘获人心的利器——社交礼仪中的心理密码
社交礼仪的基本职能
社交礼仪的类型
社交礼仪的表现形式
社交礼仪的基本原则
接待客人的礼节
拜访朋友与做客的礼节
馈赠与送礼的礼仪
参加舞会的礼节
商务宴会餐饮礼仪

Book Abstract

第3章 看穿他人小心思,掌控交际主动权——瞬间读懂、掌控你周围的人
文学名著《红楼梦》中说:“人情练达即文章,世事洞明皆学问。”也就是说,在作者曹雪芹先生看来,“人情练达”和“世事洞明”是要像写文章、做学问那样用心学习和磨砺才能实现的境界。从社交心理学的角度来看,这两者是有关联的:人情练达可以说是社交活动追求的效果,而世事洞明却是做到人情练达的前提,或者说是手段。因为,你要想在社交活动中得到别人的信任、欣赏和支持,你就必须了解别人的心理需求、心理波动、性格特点、喜好兴趣等,而这都包含在“世事洞明”的学问之中。
听其言、观其行、察其心
心有所思,口有所言。通过语言这个窗口,可以窥视人的内心世界,而社交正是在不同思想支配下的语言交锋。因此,通过语言把握对方思想活动的脉搏,自然是获取人际交往胜利的关键。与察言同样重要的还有观色,考察对方的举止神态,有时能捕捉到比语言表露得更为真实的微妙思想。因为许多举止神态的变化都是下意识的。在某一瞬间,它们可能完全不受主观意识的控制。
心理学研究证明,外界事物对人大脑的刺激,往往会使人体内部某些相应组织的机能在一个短时间内出现异常现象。也就是说,人的喜怒哀乐,不仅是通过口头语言,在更多情况下是通过人的肌体来表现的。
此外,由于个性差异,每个人的思想和感情的流露,又多包含在一种与众不同的习惯性动作、神态当中。在论辩过程中,善于从两个方面洞察对方,那么,你就算成功了一半。尽管心理学为我们揭示了人的思想感情活动在人的肌体上的一般特征,但是,仅仅了解这一点,就想在社交中准确无误地把握对方,显然是不够的。我们应该看到,人不仅具有自然属性,而且具有社会属性。其表现之一就是人具有一种自控能力,即对言谈举止的制约和支配,这种能力对于那些政治家、外交家和社交人员尤为重要。
一、含而不露
社交活动是唇枪舌剑的较量,一般来说论辩双方出现起伏不定的情绪是很自然的,但是对于某些经验丰富的人来说,却可能自始至终地保持着一种镇定自若、温文尔雅的姿态,看上去既不激动,也不冷漠,而是彬彬有礼。你不能说他对你的问题或陈述不感兴趣,可你又看不出他真正的兴趣所在。当你讲话时,他可能笑容可掬地看着你,给你一种好感,而心里却在想着另一个问题。
在社交中,你不能轻易地认为表情温顺的人一定是好人,而应该看到他的另一面。你也不能轻易地认为表情生硬的人不怀好意,而应该看到他很可能有一颗善良的心。总的来说,一个人的言与色或表与里可能是统一的,也可能是矛盾的。这一点,我们不能小看。
二、欲藏故露
就一般情况而论,社交双方总是要尽力克制和掩盖自己情感的外露,留 给对方的印象越是神秘莫测,成功的可能性就越大。
事实上,任何人的言谈不可能毫无破绽,绝对的无懈可击是不可能的。有人会利用对方的心理,采用欲藏故露的方法,打一场主动的防御战。你不是在捕捉他神情的变化吗?他索性逆水行舟,将那些按常理本应加以掩饰的神态,赤裸裸地呈现在你面前,将你推向一种惊异、迷惑、犹豫不决的境地,使你无论如何也不敢相信这一切竟是那样千真万确。
三、察言观色
人们的言与色有时是简单外露的,对它的体察是容易的;有时是复杂隐蔽的,对它的体察就比较困难。一般来说有以下几点应注意。
首先,性格定向和语言定位。社交中的察言观色,说到底是对对方言谈举止、神态表情的微妙变化及其含义进行捕捉和判断,是一个“由表及里”的过程。
性格定向和语言定位,是这个过程的第一步。
性格定向就是通过对其表情、言语、举止的观察分析,掌握其性格类型。你可以甩出一两个对方很敏感的问题,静观一下他的反应方式和程度。值得注意的是,这种观察一定要细致入微,千万不要因为对方看上去似乎毫无反应,就断定他是傻瓜。正如看了悲剧,有人流泪,有人木然,你不能说木然的人就没有被感动。在摸透了对方性格类型之后,就要设法捕捉最能反映他思想活动的典型动作和典型部位,也就是“语言点的定位”。眼、手、腿、脚,身体每一部位的肌肉,都可能是“语言点”的所在。
有些现象的含义人们是很清楚的。如腿的轻颤,多是心情悠然的表现;双眉倒竖,双目圆睁,是愤怒的特征;而微蹙眉头,轻咬嘴唇,则是思索的含义。另外还应该特别注意对方的手,尽管许多人可以巧妙地掩饰许多东西但还是存在一些普遍性的动作。如愤怒时握紧双拳,或是将纸烟、铅笔之类的东西捏坏,甚至可能两手发颤;兴奋紧张时,双手揉搓,或者简直不知道该把手放在什么地方;思索时,手指在桌面、沙发扶手、大腿等地方有节奏地轻敲;等等。
……

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Jingdong book