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Jingdong book

没有你的最初42天

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没有你的最初42天

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朱莉·尼克尔森是一位普通的英国妇女,过着宁静的生活。她的女儿,简,24岁,是一位颇具天赋的音乐人。2005年7月7日,简在伦敦地铁爆炸案中丧生。女儿的离去让朱莉的生活陷入了无尽的悲痛。她为了排解内心的苦楚,用笔写下了对女儿的怀念和回忆。阅读这本《没有你的最初42天》,不仅能体会到朱莉对女儿真挚的情感和关爱,也能了解到悲伤的朱莉经历丧女之痛的心路历程。
Content Description

女儿珍妮,一位颇具天赋的音乐家,在伦敦“七七”地铁爆炸案中丧生。突如其来的生死离别让母亲朱莉·尼克尔森的生活失去了生机与期待。朱莉敞开心扉,将自己的思绪、情感诉诸笔端,真实、真情的文字让这本《没有你的最初42天》有了令人手不释卷的魔力,也引发读者思考着生活的元素——爱、死亡、信仰、亲情对人生的意义和价值。
Catalogue

第1天 珍妮不见了
第2天 寻找
第3~4天 珍妮被正式报告失踪
第5~9天 珍妮遗体被找到
第10天 每个人都彼此需要,每个人都非常重要
第11~12天 每部经典戏剧通常都以女主人公的死亡而落幕
第13—17天 交响诗
第18~19天 无辜者的残害
第20—39天 葬礼筹备
第40~42天 葬礼
Book Abstract

清晨,我在一阵轻柔的敲门声和瓷器碰撞声中醒来。我的姨父端着一杯茶走进我的房间。“天气应该不错。”他一边说着,一边将杯碟放在我的床头柜上。
我懒洋洋地嘟囔了句“谢谢”,目送着姨父走出房门。他的身体被一件宽大的晨袍罩住,只有顶部露出银白色的头发。
我一动不动地躺在床上,感受着从窗帘中透射进来的清晨阳光,还有窗外鸟儿的啁啾声。
的确是一个好天气,整个房间都沐浴在温暖柔和的晨曦中。米黄色窗帘一动也不动,看来外面没有一丝风。我在半睡半醒中徜徉,屋外水壶的嘶鸣让我回到了现实中。我突然想起还有醇香的早茶等着我,于是用胳膊撑着坐了起来,俯身呷了一口茶,脑袋却差点撞到双层床的床架上。
我又喝了几口茶,将茶杯放回茶碟内。在重新倒在枕头上之前,我拿起手表看了下时间。现在才七点四十,不必这么早起床。我躺在床上,呆呆地看着上铺铺底的松木板。它们彼此搭接在一起,支撑着上面的床垫和床具。被褥叠得整整齐齐,床单也一丝不苟地被抚平,没有一丝皱纹或折痕。想起以前和上铺小伙伴无休止的争论和谈判,我笑了。
房子里的说话声和其他的响声渐渐多了起来:往茶壶里加水的声音、碗柜开关的声音、浴室门被锁住的声音、咳嗽声。我仍然窝在床上,那些响动、家人的活动还有阳光丝毫不能影响到我。这是属于我的假期!突然,我的脑海中浮现出我所担任教区牧师的那所教堂的场景。但只是一闪念而已。现在并没有人和我这个教区牧师打招呼,我现在的身份只是一个女儿或者侄女。我有整整一周的时间不必穿着牧师专用的硬白领,也无须过问任何牧师事务。真是太棒了!这个假期对我来说是个奖励。我的父母计划去拜访我的姨父姨妈一家,我临时决定请假开车带他们去,我的丈夫格雷格则留在家里照看小狗并享受其他家务。在我赖在被子里乐不可支的时候,格雷格估计已经在上班的路上了。他必须避开布里斯托尔早晨的堵车高峰,并为一整天的工作做好准备。
我闭上眼睛,但并没有继续睡觉,而是躺在床上神游起来。我回忆起以前拜访安格尔西岛的时光。我已经记不清我的吉米姨父在这里工作了多久,他似乎把一生的时间都献给了这里。是的,至少从我还是个十多岁的孩子时开始。若不是这样,我也可能没有机会远行至北威尔士,发现这个安格尔西小岛。而整个家族的历史也可能发生改变。这是冥冥中的注定,机缘中的巧合,还是一起普通的事件而已?生活总是环环相扣。我的姨父、姨妈和表兄弟姐妹们从格洛斯特郡搬到了安格尔西小岛,也随之有了新的际遇和社交关系。在这个还不到八点的清晨,我陷入了沉思。我打算把我的思考写下来,但从床上爬起来找纸笔似乎需要很大的决心。于是我继续沉思,这三十多年访问安格尔西岛的回忆,或冒险经历,或矛盾情绪,如同蒙太奇一样,快速闪过我的脑海。过了一段时间,我打着哈欠,伸了个懒腰回到现实。至少有一样东西是永远不会改变的,那就是这个大家庭浓郁而密切的亲情。
我和凡达还有马丁和莎伦,是两对亲兄弟姐妹,同时还是表亲。从孩提时代我们就私交甚笃,并且这种亲密关系从未因时间和空间而磨灭,而是延伸至我们的孩子和伴侣中。严格地说,这些孩子可以区分为侄子、侄女、外甥和甥女,他们的关系也可以是近房或远房表亲,但实际上,他们情同亲兄弟姐妹,我们也是他们共同的姑婶和叔伯。
更为奇妙的是,一对表姊妹嫁给了一对亲兄弟。
我的表妹莎伦爱上了携家人在岛上度假的迈克,而不久后在一次聚会上,我被介绍给了迈克的哥哥格雷格。再后来,正如他们所言,都是些陈年旧事了。莎伦和我是表姊妹,通过各自的婚姻又成了妯娌。我们各自的孩子既是我们的外甥和外甥女,同时又是我们的侄子和侄女。就他们的母亲而论,他们是第二代甚至是第三代表兄弟姐妹,但就他们的父亲而论,他们又变成了第一代堂兄弟姐妹。
每当想起莎伦和我之间表姊妹和妯娌的双重身份时,我都会禁不住笑起来。不管我们搬到哪里,孩子们始终保持着亲密的兄弟姐妹关系。
我们彼此的孩子总是习惯于叫我们“姨妈”而不是“表姨”。
对外人而言,这个大家庭的关系绝对可以用错综复杂来形容。我喜欢一大家子人聚在一起的感觉,就如同一个冒牌的希腊合唱团一般,虽然他们有着不同的音容笑貌,行为举止也不尽相同。
但这并不意味着我们像合唱团一样,步调一致完美和谐。恰恰相反,在这些年中不乏挫败、伤害和争执。我想大多数家庭也是这样。但我们都设法渡过了这些难关,并努力维持着家庭的团结和统一。
我彻底清醒了,愉快轻松地从床上蹦了起来,伸手抓过一本书,用铅笔在内封上记录下了我的清晨感悟。我的姨父从门后探出头,“再来点茶吧?”
……
Introduction

没有人会想到,恐怖主义会离自己如此之近,骨肉分离会在一瞬间来袭,包括朱莉·尼克尔森。
没有悲天恸地,没有一蹶不振,甚至没有对凶手的满腔仇恨,这个平凡而伟大的母亲,在痛失女儿之后,凭借着坚定的信念和执着的勇气,为女儿撑起了一片爱的晴空。
客观而言,作者并非是驾驭文字的高手,如果从文学性上来苛求,这本书既没有小说的跌宕起伏,也没有纪实文学的文思缜密,更没有自传题材的辞藻华丽。然而,这丝毫不妨碍它成为一部优秀的作品——因为它真实。
没有掩饰,没有矫情,作者拉家常般将点点滴滴娓娓道来,从珍妮失踪的那天上午,直到葬礼结束后的次日。在书中,作者展现了一个真实的自己。有失控,但是这种失控并没有让她恣意放纵情绪到崩溃;有哀怨,但是这种哀怨并没有让仇恨的种子生根发芽;有偶尔一闪念的自私,但是这种自私最终还是被那没有理由的爱所替代:对女儿的慈爱、对亲友的关爱、对社会的博爱和对生命的热爱。
和每个母亲一样,作者也经历了不去相信、不敢相信、不想相信再到不得不相信的心路历程。但和其他的母亲不一样的是,作者用她自己的方式将情感宣泄,她要将珍妮最美好最珍贵的一面留住,葬礼并不是一个草草的结束,而是一个希望的开始。她还记得欠女儿风光的婚礼,为此她精心挑选了礼服,甚至在葬礼上加入了婚礼的元素。她放弃了程式化的葬礼程序,甚至一段音乐、一首小诗都反复挑选。这是一个固执的母亲,她完全可以将葬礼交给他人准备,但是母亲的神圣职责让她选择了亲历亲为。这是一种崇高的固执,固执得有些可爱,但同时也让人心酸。
虽然故事并没有扣人心弦的情节,甚至我们可以从开头猜测到结尾,但它仍然有令人手不释卷的魔力。当一个痛苦却坚强、迷惘却执着的母亲向你敞开心扉时,没有人不被她的坦诚所感染、为她的遭遇而欷歔、因她的情愫而共鸣。
受邀写序,我心中十分忐忑。虽然在翻译中逐字逐句斟酌,最近距离地感受着作者的心灵,但这超越一切的爱仍让我难以用语言表达。我只能引用最平凡的一句话结束:爱让世界转动。
唯有心中有爱,世界才能大同。

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