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Jingdong book

男孩的成长99%靠妈妈

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男孩的成长99%靠妈妈

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日本教育专家图解培养3~10岁男孩的关键细节
好妈妈教出能自立、有魅力、会学习的优秀男孩

Content Description

3~10岁,是男孩子成长的重要时期。这段时间,不仅决定着男孩子的学习能力,还决定着男孩子今后的生活能力。本书中,有丰富育儿经验的高滨老师将为妈妈们讲解培养男孩子的诀窍。男孩子和女孩子不同,有着特有的天性,只有了解男孩子的性格,才能“对症下药”。本书从“自立”、“魅力”、“学习”3个层面出发,教妈妈们如何培养一个自立有担当、人见人爱、妈妈引以为傲的男孩子。
Author Description

高滨正伸,1959年生于熊本县。毕业于东京大学。1993年,以重视“数理思考力”、“国语力”和“课外实践”为理念,开办了面向小学低年级学生的学习教室“花丸学习会”。奥数委员会理事。活跃在电视、报纸和杂志上的热血教师。以儿童监护人为对象,每年进行130多次演讲,在妈妈中大有人气,甚至有固定的妈妈粉丝。著书还有《教孩子如何记笔记》《写给13岁的你》(实务教育出版)、《小学3年级前要培养好算数脑》等。
Catalogue

第1章男孩的特点
男孩的心思,原本就难以捉摸/3
男孩的特点①活泼好动/8
男孩的特点②反复叮嘱也会忘记收拾东西/10
男孩的特点③只做喜欢的事/14
男孩的特点④喜欢冒险、追求刺激/16
男孩的特点⑤在意胜败/19
男孩的特点⑥喜欢战斗类游戏/21
男孩的特点⑦吵完架即握手言和/23
男孩的特点⑧喜欢粗俗的东西/26
男孩的特点⑨不怕脏/29
男孩的特点⑩没常性、喜欢动态事物/31
男孩的特点字迹潦草/33
男孩的特点行动缓慢/35
男孩的特点有“御宅”倾向和收藏癖/38
男孩的特点想要说服他需讲道理/41
男孩的特点全世界最喜欢妈妈/43

第2章自立 培养将来能自食其力的男孩
正确的生活习惯与教育方式/50
让孩子远离电子游戏/65
不服输的孩子更强大/71
坦然面对他人的欺负行为/75
成就感孕育自信/80
别让孩子因不擅长运动而自卑/85
让孩子拥有一技之长/88
对孩子的不合理要求说“不”/91
让孩子产生“想快快长大”的想法/94

第3章魅力 培养人见人爱、重视妈妈的男孩
妈妈的爱是孩子自信的源泉/107
与他人的摩擦是孩子的必要成长经历/110
让孩子用热情感染周围人/114
让孩子笑对挫折/118
虚心是成长的法宝/124
妈妈不唠叨,孩子最诚实/127
优秀男孩也要做贴心暖男/130
擅长逗人笑的孩子人缘好/135
让孩子享受“年少的特权”/138
让孩子感觉人生如此有趣/142

第4章学习 培养让妈妈引以为傲的优秀男孩
“敷衍妈妈的学习方式”是大忌/150
让孩子体验到思考的乐趣/152
让孩子保持正确的坐姿/158
重视孩子的写字速度/160
语言是培养学习能力的基础/162
提高孩子逻辑思考力的方法/170
提高孩子动脑能力的方法/175

Book Abstract

正确的生活习惯与教育方式
① 以轻松的语气要求孩子每天早睡早起
早睡早起是孩子应养成的第一个好习惯,它与孩子的精神是否强大密切相关。
就像我们所知道的那样,凡是能坚持早起的人,都能获取他人的信赖。反之,则会被人认为意志力差、没有前途。
如果孩子因沉迷于游戏、网络而过着黑白颠倒生活,就会因为头疼或失眠等原因,萌生“今天不去学校”的想法。
我们可以将这种状态称为没耐性。长此以往,这样的孩子就容易陷入不愿上学、闭门不出的状态。
如果孩子曾有很长一段时间过着黑白颠倒的生活,等他们进入社会,也会出现类似状况。而这样的结果是——不被上司重用。
因此,从某种意义上说,孩子的培养方式至关重要。养成早起的良好习惯,绝对有助于今后的人生发展。
即使孩子在青春期出现没耐性的状态,也会因为“交女友”“结婚”“生子”等影响人生的关键事件而发生重大
转折。
因为人往往会在这种时候发生改变。
“人不能为自己改变,只能为他人改变”说的也是这个
意思。
在幼儿时期,父母应用“早点睡觉哦”等轻松的语气告诫孩子,并且不允许孩子晚起。如果能通过“知情意行”教育,让孩子在坚持“早睡早起”的同时“外出玩耍”,那是最理想的状态。
② 培养孩子的“无须休息”的好体力
体力好、精力旺盛是成功不可或缺的要素之一,多次缺勤的人注定无法获得好工作。
据我所知,凡是成就一番事业的人,都是休息时间少的人,只有“拥有无限活力”的人才能在工作上做出好成绩。
毫无疑问,精力充沛的人都拥有良好的基础体力。不过,无须要求孩子达到专业运动员的水准,只要让孩子拥有“基本上无须休息”的基础体力即可。
其实,只要孩子坚持参加中学时代的体育活动就可以获得良好的基础体力。没有类似体验的孩子,恕我直言,一般都是精神脆弱之辈。有的男孩长大后看起来人高马大,实际上却是一肚子疼就休息的人。
持久力和活力是工作的基本前提,十分重要。
身处社会中,一年之中总有那么几天需要熬夜完成工作。除此之外,分娩前后、孩子生病住院等,彻夜不眠也是理所当然的事。
另外,在人的一生中,总会遇到即使没怎么睡也需要挺过去的时候,比如震灾等紧急时刻。在这种时候,人必须拥有良好的体力。
因为这不仅是你的责任所在,也是考验你自我管理能力的关键时刻。
毫无疑问,脚力是体力的基础。对于长时间坐着工作的我们来说,“步行”“奔跑”等方面的锻炼十分重要。
据我所知,东京大学很多学生在1500米跑步中也能取得很好的成绩。
这其实与“精神的强大”息息相关。无论怎么犯困都能坚持做完最后一道题的人,只要多次坚持,就能成为卓越的人。对于那些头脑聪明的人来说,锤炼让精神更强大的基础体力是人生的必修项目之一。
据说,拥有众多聪明孩子的某国立大学附属小学,在体育训练项目上投入了不少精力。这无疑是明智之举。
有的孩子刚放学回家就扔下书包外出玩耍,这让妈妈很是揪心。情急之下,妈妈可能会训斥孩子:“整天就知道玩!快去学习!”实际上这是在城市培养孩子的忌讳之处。我们应有意识地增加孩子外出玩耍、活动身体的机会,因为基础体力与学习能力息息相关。
据某精神科的医生说,我们可以通过“站姿、步姿”判断孩子是否得了抑郁症、综合失调症。多年来我一直在教育第一线观察孩子,发现通过观察孩子的步姿、跳姿和腰腿的力量也可以判断出他们学习的努力程度。
谁都可以通过锻炼身体提高基础体能,因此我建议让孩子多外出玩耍,多参加中学时代的俱乐部活动。
总之,腰腿的强大意味着“精神的强大”,手指的灵巧意味着“创意的涌现”。
③ 孩子忘带东西时,父母切忌过多插手
年龄较小的男孩女孩都有丢三落四的坏习惯,但相对而言男孩的问题更突出。
精神过于集中是导致这种情况发生的原因之一。男孩一旦集中注意力,就容易把所有注意力都放在某一点上。
“今天到学校一定要抢个踢足球的好位置”,男孩一想到这个,可能就会忘记带手帕、手纸、食品袋等小物品。
生活中,有的孩子甚至因为专注于思考足球的事而忘了背书包上学。这时,妈妈或者认为“自家的孩子有点呆傻”,或者为孩子的粗心大意唉声叹气。
但其实这是男孩的普遍性行为,建议妈妈们用平常心对待。
另一方面,妈妈的过度保护也是造成孩子容易丢三落四的重要原因之一。
妈妈们虽然嘴上责怪孩子“又一次忘带东西”,但每次总是出手相助。因为孩子从未独自应对过忘带东西的局面,所以很难改掉这种坏习惯。
因此,从某种意义上说,妈妈将孩子忘带的东西送到学校,并不是件好事。在必要的时候,应让孩子经历在全班同学面前被老师训斥的难堪与痛苦,这样下一次他们会尽最大努力记住要带的东西。
实际上,有很多孩子因为不能准备自己的物品而出现成长缓慢的现象。低年级的孩子还好说,到了高年级依然不能自己准备物品的孩子,恕我直言,能否参加中考都是一个问题。因为学习是一场与自我的战斗,对孩子来说,精神上的自立是必不可少的。
如果孩子忘带东西时只会抱怨“因为妈妈没有提醒”,那么他也会将这种推卸责任的态度转移到学习上。比如,孩子如果学不会某个知识点,就会说:“因为妈妈(或老师)没有好好教,所以我不会。”很显然,过分保护只会给孩子的成长带来负面影响。
因此,妈妈学会放手也是十分重要的一课。
我认为,父母可以出手帮助小学一二年级的孩子,但三年级是警戒线。当然,每个孩子的情况都不相同,父母可以酌情处理。不过,各位妈妈需要注意的是,当孩子主动和你说“不要和我并排走在一起”,这也就意味着孩子想要尝试独立,因为这句话象征了男孩自我意识的萌芽。
生活中,许多妈妈都有“永远鞍前马后地照顾孩子”的
想法。
但正如我在上文多次强调的那样,为了孩子的将来,妈妈必须拥有让孩子(从小学四年级起)独立面对人生的勇气和
决心。
④ 父母应为孩子树立打招呼的榜样
一般来说,父母们会反复告诉孩子打招呼的重要性,学校也会在“本月的目标”和“本周的目标”中多次阐述这一点。
但是,人只有进入社会后才能深切体会到它的重要性。
比如,如果你在初次打招呼时表现很出色,客户就会考虑和你交易。在录用职员的时候也是如此。如果应聘者打招呼亲切有礼,招聘者就会产生“录用此人”的想法。
我们公司曾创造一个新词“和颜直礼”(用温和的表情笔直地行礼)。对每一个进入公司的新人,我们都会向他们灌输打招呼的重要性。停住脚步,目视对方,笔直地行礼——只要长年累月坚持这种行礼方法,就会理解“不会好好打招呼的人注定没前途”的原因。不过,其中精髓只可意会不可言传。
孩子小时候,应用引导的方式让孩子学会打招呼,比如问孩子:“这时候应该说什么来着?”切忌用严厉的语气告诉孩子:“快说‘你好’!”
此外,也可以用反复提醒的方式让孩子学会打招呼。
比如,和孩子说:“打招呼很重要哦,听到店员的寒暄语,心情很好吧!”
只要反复灌输,孩子就能记在心里。
对那些害怕在人前说话的孩子来说,打招呼似乎是一道难以逾越的壁垒,但只要跨越这道壁垒,就能获得长足发展。
因此,家中若有害怕打招呼的孩子,不应默认这个事实,而应努力帮助孩子消除心理障碍。
……
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