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妈妈，你在哪里？

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《妈妈，你在哪里？》是一本关于母爱的略带悲伤但满含温暖的小书。小说的话题“妈妈突然不见了”其实跟现实生活极为紧密，在百度中输入“寻找母亲”或“妈妈，你在哪里”会有N多真实的案例。希望读过《妈妈，你在哪里？》，更多读者开始更加了解妈妈，将对妈妈的爱化作平时言行的一点一滴。

Content Description

生活中无处不在的母亲，有一天却突然失踪了。丈夫和子女开始散发寻人启事，刊登广告，想方设法寻找她。他们追寻她的踪迹，复原有关她的记忆……小说中的母亲也是我们每个人的母亲，她们为家庭生活贡献了一切，湮没了自我。而子女长大成人、独自走上人生之路后，她们的存在似乎可有可无。母亲的消失让家人获得了重新走近她的契机，亦会引发读者的思考。作家的深意即在于此：通过生命中的深情回望，重新寻找和发现母亲，并且在被社会生活填塞已满的心灵深处重新为母亲留出位置。
《妈妈，你在哪里？》曾以《寻找母亲》为名出版过。现应读者要求，稍作修订，以《妈妈，你在哪里？》重新与读者见面。

Author Description

申京淑，曾被誉为韩国上世纪九十年代的文学神话，至今仍笔耕不辍，佳作频出，是韩国当红的女作家。1963年生于全罗北道井邑郡，毕业于汉城艺术大学文艺创作系。1985年，以中篇小说《冬季寓言》入选《文艺中央》新人文学奖，从此开始文学创作活动。主要作品有小说集《直到江水流淌》《风琴的位置》《吃土豆的人》《钟声》《草莓地》等，长篇小说有《深深的忧伤》《单人房》《火车七点出发》《紫罗兰》《李真》《妈妈，你在哪里？》《哪里传来找我的电话铃声》等，散文集有《美丽的树荫》《睡吧，我的忧伤》等。曾获韩国日报文学奖、当代青年艺术家奖、现代文学奖、万海文学奖、东仁文学奖、21世纪文学奖、李箱文学奖、吴永寿文学奖等。2012年，凭借《妈妈，你在哪里？》获得第五届英仕曼亚洲文学奖。

Comments

申京淑在创作《妈妈，你在哪里？》时心里充满了忏悔，这也是我们每个人的忏悔，也是读者放不下本书的理由。
——《京乡新闻》

写给大地上所有母亲的心曲，让每个读者热泪盈眶。
——《韩国日报》

《妈妈，你在哪里？》帮我们找回遗忘已久的妈妈。
——《韩民族报》

这是在依赖母亲同时又推开母亲的我们自己的故事。这是令人心痛的故事，给犹然未晚的人以大警醒，给悔之已晚的人以大安慰。
——李笛（韩国大众音乐家，《指纹猎人》作者）

《妈妈，你在哪里？》是申京淑的全部作品中最不容置疑的成功之作，更是当今时代濒临灭种的珍贵小说。
——白乐晴（文学评论家，首尔大学名誉教授）

小说朴素真实、感人至深，将深植于韩国文化内核的深度家庭关系刻画得真实可感。小说家庭气息浓郁，会引发全球阅读热潮。我爱这本书。
——加里·施特恩加特（美国作家，《爱在长生不老时》作者）

Catalogue

读者评论
第一章没有人知道
第二章对不起，亨哲
第三章我，回来了
第四章另一个女人
尾声蔷薇念珠
作家的话

Book Abstract

我从美国回来去妈妈家的时候，妈妈送给我一棵刚刚有膝盖那么高的小柿子树。我去妈妈家收拾自己的东西。妈妈倒在仓库里，那里堆放着我的煤气灶、冰箱和餐桌。妈妈伸展四肢躺在那里。平时喂养的小猫围坐在妈妈身边。我慌忙摇晃妈妈，妈妈似乎清醒过来了，艰难地睁开眼睛，冲我笑了。我的小女儿回来了！妈妈说她没事。现在回想起来，当时妈妈已经昏迷不醒，却仍然坚持说自己没事。她说她走进仓库，想找点儿东西喂小猫。我放在家里的东西，妈妈保存得完好无损。就连去美国之前留给妈妈用的橡胶手套也原封不动地放在仓库里。祭祀的时候需要用便携式煤气灶，妈妈犹豫了很久，最后还是没有用。为什么不用呢？我问。妈妈说，我想等你回来的时候，原封不动地交给你。
东西都装上车的时候，妈妈从酱缸台上拿来一棵柿子树，神情歉疚地递给我。树根还带着泥土，包在塑料袋里。看过我新家的院子之后，妈妈特意给我买了这棵柿子树。说实话，我本不想带。那么小，什么时候能结柿子啊。虽然家里有院子，但那毕竟不是自己的房子，我担心有人会干涉种树的事，甚至觉得有些麻烦。妈妈看透了我的心思，说道：
——很快就会结柿子的。七十年也只在转眼间。
我还是不想带，妈妈又对我说：
——等我死了，你在摘柿子的时候可以想起我。
妈妈动不动就说等我死了……从很久以前，这句话就是妈妈的武器。每当子女不顺她心意的时候，这句话就成为妈妈唯一的武器。不知从何时开始，只要稍不如意，妈妈就说，那就等我死了再做。我带着不知是死是活的柿子树回了家，就像妈妈嘱咐的那样，按照妈妈做的标记埋下了树根。后来，妈妈来首尔的时候，说柿子树和围墙贴得太紧了，让我等到春天再挪个地方。春天刚到，妈妈就问我有没有给柿子树挪挪位置。明明没挪，我却告诉妈妈说，是的，已经挪了。秋天妈妈再来的时候，骂我太懒，叮嘱我明年春天务必要挪柿子树。妈妈所指的正是我打算有钱以后买下这座房子用来种大树的位置。我从来没想过要把这棵只有三四根树枝，高不及腰的小树种在那儿。我还是回答说，好的。春天到了，妈妈隔三差五就打电话问我，挪了没有。我说，等天气再暖和点儿。姐姐，我昨天才背着孩子，坐出租车到西五陵买了肥料。我在妈妈说的地方挖了坑，把柿子树挪了过去。妈妈送我的柿子树被我紧贴围墙种下了，却从来没有反省，昨天挪柿子树的时候才恍然大悟。刚拿来时，柿子树根别提有多轻了，我甚至怀疑它能不能在地下扎根。但是昨天挪动柿子树的时候，我发现它的根已经深深扎进了地里。即使土壤贫瘠，它也努力扎根，顽强存活，这样的生命力让我为之惊叹。妈妈送给我那么小的柿子树，是不是想让我看它的根深叶茂？若想收获果实，就要精心照料。也许只是因为妈妈没钱买大树吧。我第一次对那棵柿子树产生了感情。这棵树真的能结出丰硕的果实吗？现在，怀疑消失了。我想起妈妈说过的话，等我死了，你在摘柿子的时候可以想起我。姐姐上次让我说说只有我自己知道的关于妈妈的事情。我说我不了解妈妈，只知道妈妈失踪了。现在也还是这样，尤其是不了解妈妈的力量究竟来自何方。你想想，妈妈做过的事情恐怕普通人做不了。那些看似无能为力的事情，妈妈全都做到了。然而在这个过程中，妈妈被彻底掏空了，最后变成了连自己孩子的家都找不到的人。妈妈丢了，而我每天还是要给孩子们做饭、喂饭、梳头，送他们上学，不能到处寻找妈妈。我感觉自己好陌生。姐姐说我不同于当今的年轻妈妈，很特别。姐姐，尽管我不能全盘否认，然而我确实做不到像妈妈那样。自从妈妈失踪以后，我常常这样想。我在妈妈眼里是个好女儿吗？我对自己的孩子能像妈妈对我那样吗？我只知道，我不能像妈妈那样。我做不到。我给孩子喂饭的时候常常不耐烦，感觉是孩子束缚住了我的脚步。有时甚至会产生被拖累的想法。我很爱我的孩子，也为此感慨，常常感到无比新奇，这些孩子真是我生的吗？但是，我不可能像妈妈那样把自己的全部人生奉献给子女。看似我也可以为孩子们付出全部，然而我绝对做不到像妈妈那样。我希望老三快点儿长大。我常常觉得人生因为孩子而停滞了。等老三再长大些，我想把他送到托儿所，或者请人帮忙照顾，而我去做我的事业。是的，我也有我的人生。每当意识到自己有这种念头的时候，我就会想起妈妈。妈妈是怎么做到的呢？我真的感觉自己不了解妈妈。假如妈妈一心只为我们是迫不得已，可是我们怎么也会觉得妈妈从出生就注定是当妈妈的人呢？我也做了妈妈，却依然有那么多梦想。我记得自己的童年时光，记得我的少女时代和青春年华，然而为什么会觉得妈妈天生就该做妈妈呢？妈妈没有机会去实现自己的梦想，手里握着时代交给她的最糟糕的牌，她不得不独自对抗贫穷、悲伤，而且必须取胜。尽管这样，妈妈还是尽其所能地全身心奉献自己。我为什么从来没有考虑过妈妈的梦想呢？
……

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