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Jingdong book

诸般不美好,皆可温柔相待

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★台湾知名作家及节目主持人吴淡如,享有“台湾畅销书天后”的美誉。

★完美女性作家吴淡如暖心力作,分享亲身经历,让你做个温柔的人,不勉强自己,也不附和他人,拥有一颗柔软心,

面对一切不美好。

★蔡康永、张小娴、小S强烈推荐作家!蔡康永评价她“从不扮高深,痛快做自己”。

★著名手绘插画师王云飞全彩四色唯美插图,全彩四色印刷+免费赠送精美明信片!


Content Description

一路走来,看遍各种人间风景的你, 什么时候才听得见自己心中的声音?走自己的路? 当你把好好对待自己的权利牢牢抓在手上,再也没有人能勉强你!

畅销书天后吴淡如暖心分享:从今天开始,走自己的路,过自己的人生, 听从自己内心的声音。不勉強自己、不附和他人,做一个温柔的人,拥有一颗柔软心,温柔面对生命中的诸多不美好。


Author Description

吴淡如,台湾知名作家及节目主持人。有“台湾畅销书天后”的美誉。

台大法律系学士,中文研究所、EMBA双硕士。吴淡如多才多艺、兴趣广泛,写作、主持、理财、创业各方面都有非常好的成绩。跳舞、学摄影、到全世界各地旅行,多彩多姿的生活也令人艳羡。著有《吴淡如超人气说话术》、《每一次相遇都是奇迹》、《嫁给谁都幸福》、《时间管理幸福学》、《爱情,不是得到就是学到》、《乖女孩没糖吃》等书。


Catalogue

目录

PART 1

不为什么伟大目标,只是努力做好自己


002 / 不为什么伟大目标,只是努力做好自己

013 / 活下去,是卑微又伟大的愿望

022 / 做一点实实在在的小事

031 / 人生不管选择哪条路,都要看脸色

043 / 最好的爱情大都势均力敌

052 / 生活需要我们真实地面对

063 / 听从自己内心的声音

070 / 给自己的人生一个Happy Ending


PART 2

静下来,听自己的声音


082 / 难,才值得梦想

090 / 有些事,再忙也要做

097 / 静下来,听自己的声音

107 / 不要一直拿别人来跟自己比

117 / 该逃就逃,是人生美好的自由

126 / 不管什么样的困境,总是可以找到出路

134 / 斗争无所不在

144 / 你到底是谁,你知道吗



PART 3

用自己的节奏过生活


156 / 你值得过得更好

165 / 至少,不用再为爱那么混乱

172 / 人生没有进步就是一种退步

180 / 真正的爱,是且行且珍惜

187 / 一切都有它的意义

194 / 找难点的事做,过舒服的生活

204 / 用自己的节奏过生活

213 / 莫以赌对论英雄

222 / 如何活得更好


Book Abstract

听从自己内心的声音

似乎是大作家莫言说的:“我只对两种人负责,生我的人,我生的人。”

除此之外,谁真的能恒久地把谁放在第一位?

让我引述一对夫妻的私密对话:

夜半无人私语时,老公撒娇:“我觉得女儿要你做什么,你都没怨言,我要你做什么,你都……”

“这是当然的呀。”妻子说,“因为她是我心中第一位,你是第二位。”

“噢,我还是第二位呀。”老公说,“我以为,你把自己摆在第二位,我是第三位呢。”

“这,”妻子轻拍老公的头,笑了,“我刚刚的意思是,如果只列你跟孩子,你是第二位。如果加上我自己嘛,你——最好——不要——再——问下去!”

这个故事是男人在聊天时引述的,他半开玩笑地说:“看我在家中多么没有地位,我老婆回答得真绝呀,我家还有一猫一狗,万一都列进来,我恐怕还是敬陪末座。”

“所以叫你不要没事做比较啊。”在一旁听他说话的太太又轻拍了他的头,像抚摸着一只小狗说,“乖,你最爱吃的波士顿派来了。”

他其实是个好老公,真心欣赏妻子的利落爽朗,只是有时会哀哀叫个几声。

“女人会为男人牺牲的时代已经过去了。”他苦笑着说。

“不然呢,那我问你,如果将来你女儿以男人为天,把那男人放在第一位,言必称老公,事事看老公脸色,那你觉得开心吗?”

“怎么会开心,男人是什么东西!我们辛辛苦苦养大宝贝女儿是用来为他服务的吗?”

“这就对了!所以,不要太在乎自己重不重要,好不好?”我说。


把男人放第一位?别开玩笑了。

这样的女人真的所剩无几。那些口里爱讲“老公是我的天(天哪),孩子是我的地”的女性,通常也只是在强调自己很重视家庭而已(就我观察,口里会这样说的女人,性格还都真的强悍得要命)。

重视家庭,也不见得要忽视自己,让自己趴到地上去,谁踩都不要紧。没这回事!

不服气?

不然你回到那个女人都自认为是油麻菜籽命的三十年前呀。大概在一九七○年后出生的人,因为经济改善、教育提升与少子化的影响,多半的家庭中不管是男是女,每个人都是父母视作宝贝带大的。

在台湾,五年级(一九六○年)之后的女生,已经都很懂得对自己好一点了。

虽然,懂归懂,在真正落实对自己好上面,理想与现实还有一段距离。对自己好在我们心中变成商业广告用语,成为在购物时大开杀戒的理由。

主妇们更常用此语自勉:“老公气我,我就花钱来消气!”

对自己好,绝对不只这样。花钱的确能犒赏自己,不过,成就感很短暂。

我对自己很好。有了孩子之后,她在我的人生中占了非常重要的角色,我开始把“一定要安全”列为前提。这让我不能再像以前那样随心所欲,要去战乱国家就去,去南极探险也行……还好,四十岁之前,所有五花八门的梦想已实现不少。

不再没头没脑地冒险,然而,态度没变:我还是对自己很好。

我是自己唯一的生财工具,是自己最好的朋友,是自己的主人。那么,我为什么要对自己不好?

而且人生很短。有许多时候,我们受制于环境,受制于经济,受制于别人的脸色。当一切枷锁渐渐失去禁锢的能力时,为什么要对自己不好?

人生总有要牺牲或退让的部分,但是,这一点,如人饮水自知就好,不要辛苦自己给别人看。

不要让自己沦为没有功劳也有苦劳的人,因为苦劳绝对不能兑换功劳。

做了退休后也可以安枕无忧的理财规划(做规划的前提当然是你年轻时得努力一点,有些智能型的老本)之后,我开始更加去芜存菁地挑选工作。年轻的时候,能做的就做,现在,是有兴趣或有成就感的才做。

我这样说,自认为还在“折腰”的人可能一时觉得不太高兴。不过,我可是奋斗过半辈子的呀,所以现在才能理直气壮地为自己真的想做的事情奋斗下去。

我仍然去旅行,随便你觉得我是否自私。除了家庭旅行,我更爱单独旅行。把一切处理妥当之后,开个小差,排出假期,去旅行,要舍得孩子的呼唤一周。

虽然因为孩子幼小,我想她,我的旅行变得很短,不再像年轻时候一出国就从南极到北极,不知道什么时候会回来。不过,没有关系,算是不无小补。

我不能放弃一个人的旅行——从年轻时开始,那就是我犒赏自己非常有效的方法。

一个人旅行,还是小小冒险,但我非常享受。

不必没事提这提那地闲聊(可能和我是动口赚取生活所需有关,我休假时非常不喜欢说话)。

可以拿起尘封很久的相机拍照。

可以专心吃顿饭(这在有了孩子之后变得非常奢侈)。

可以在星空下小酌,对影成三人。

可以边走路边唱歌。

可以看别人怎么布置店面,想象他如何完成梦想。

可以自在地逛美术馆,静静地欣赏。

可以不必维持含笑的表情——因为没人认出我(没表情在本地很危险,有人会说你臭脸,其实荧幕上的人又不是假人,怎么可能保持着一贯的甜美亲切笑容逛街?偏偏现在会拍到你的镜头无所不在)。

可以弹性决定行程,万一迷路了没人怪你,不必一直有责任感。

我一向主张以自我为中心,虽然这句话常常是被用来批评别人的。

请容我重新诠释以自我为中心:人生很短,你本来就有权利按照自己内心的声音而活。

我相信,当一个人躲开了喧哗,剩下自己,与自然的风光和景色对话的时候,才会听到自己最纯净的愿望。

以自我为中心有什么问题?如果在这世界上,我们连自己的感觉也不能感觉,那么,我们怎么可能对别人体贴?

但是我们也要明白,世界并非绕着我们运转,不管再怎么成功,也没有人会真正听我们使唤。

我,很重要,但也没有那么重要。我可以离开原来的生活轨道,也可以被遗忘。

年轻的时候,我并不懂得听自己的声音,大多数时候听着许多杂音借以生活,太在乎自己的各种纷乱感觉,太在意别人对自己的看法,所以活得紧张,不时陷入琐琐碎碎的忧郁情绪中。

年纪增长最好的礼物,就是知道什么声音该听,什么声音是杂音。

渐渐懂得找出对自己好的方法,开开心心,继续带着发自内心的微笑,牵着自己所爱的人的手往前走。

有时,也记得放开一下。


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Brand Jingdong book
Brand Origin China

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