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Jingdong book

男孩有个性父母这样教最好

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男孩有个性父母这样教最好

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摸不透孩子的人格,不能因材施教,许多父母在教育孩子时只能跟着感觉走,结果越来越糊涂,越来越迷惘。为了做到这一点,编者们海阔、依然在西方管理心理学理论的基础上,大量融入了这些年培训教学、一线调研的91个真实案例。本书通过剖析案例,演绎和推理出了一套简单易懂的方法和理论,既能解决普遍性问题,也兼顾了一些父母提出的个性化问题,是一种阅读不累、使用不难的通俗教育理论。

Content Description

有鲜明个性的男孩子,不见得受家人欢迎。他们显得与众不同,父母却总会在他们面前束手无策,甚至愤怒头疼。是打压限制,磨掉孩子的个性,还是扬长避短,力求让孩子与众不同,成长为独特的人?庸才还是人才,天使还是魔鬼,往往由你的教育智慧决定。
本书将改变你对个性男孩的根本看法!作者以西方现代心理学理论为蓝本,结合自身多年的教育智慧和亲子培训经验,全新阐述13种男孩的人格类型以及行为特性,归纳出简单有效的测评方法,并提出人人都能活学活用的个性化教育方法,尤其是针对每种个性的教育口诀,更是教育焦虑家庭的锦囊妙计。
阅读本书你一定会迅速抓住自己孩子的核心人格特质,慧眼洞察他们的真实想法,认清他们的性格优劣势,并精准找到提高他们情商、学习能力、人际交往能力的方法和策略,让孩子快乐、健康地成长。从现在起,你的孩子离天才只有一步之遥!

Author Description

依然,作家、自由撰稿人、儿童心理教育研究专家。曾任《圣龙天使》、《中国民办教育》、《黑龙江晨报》等报刊、杂志儿童教育专栏作家。

Catalogue

序一 可雕琢成美玉的顽石
序二 如果你身边有这样一个男孩

第1章 才智超群、急躁毛糙——机智型男孩
你的孩子急躁毛糙吗
“机智型”男孩的才智超群
培养方法:沉住气,才能笑到最后
实战演练

第2章 勇敢坚强、莽撞武断——神勇型男孩
你的孩子莽撞武断吗
“神勇型”男孩的勇敢坚强
培养方法:不莽撞,才是真勇敢
实战演练

第3章 大智大勇、亲和力差——洒脱型男孩
你的孩子缺少亲和力吗
“洒脱型”男孩的大智大勇
培养方法:有真感情,才有大智慧
实战演练

第4章 才气过人、骄傲浮躁——才干型男孩
你的孩子容易骄傲浮躁吗
“才干型”男孩的才气过人
培养方法:才华需要好心情来滋养
实战演练

第5章 善良仁爱、爱慕虚荣——仁爱型男孩
你的孩子爱慕虚荣吗
“仁爱型”男孩的善良仁爱
培养方法:帮孩子找回自己的真性情
实战演练

第6章 坚韧顽强、倔强固执——坚韧型男孩
你的孩子倔强固执吗
“坚韧型”男孩的坚韧顽强
培养方法:学会变通,内心才能更强大
实战演练

第7章 平和机智、敏感多疑——亲和型男孩
你的孩子敏感多疑吗
“亲和型”男孩的平和机智
培养方法:不处处给自己设限,才会飞得更高
实战演练

第8章 善于交际、不思进取——阳光型男孩
你的孩子不思进取吗
“阳光型”男孩的善于交际
培养方法:好人缘不是万能药
实战演练

第9章 踏实质朴、思想消极——实干型男孩
你的孩子思想消极吗
“实干型”男孩的踏实质朴
培养方法:只有实干还不够,学会巧干才会赢
实战演练

第10章 忠诚义气、软弱依赖——忠诚型男孩
你的孩子软弱依赖吗
“忠诚型”男孩的忠诚义气
培养方法:帮孩子划清忠诚与依赖间的界限
实战演练

第11章 缜密睿智、任性散漫——缜密型男孩
你的孩子任性散漫吗
“缜密型”男孩的缜密睿智
培养方法:不破坏规矩,接受规矩的约束
实战演练

第12章 智慧勇猛、思想激进——智慧型男孩
你的孩子思想激进吗
“智慧型”男孩的智慧勇猛
培养方法:成功重要,获得成功的手段更重要
实战演练

第13章 足智多谋、心机过重——韬略型男孩
你的孩子心机过重吗
“韬略型”男孩的足智多谋
培养方法:学会放下,才能活得快乐
实战演练
Book Abstract

培养方法:不莽撞,才是真勇敢在理解力、包容心、表达力这三个方面,需要对神勇型人格男孩进行强化训练。因为他们总是执著地模仿着心目中的偶像,对世事人情缺乏必要的洞察力,容易变得不接地气。如果不进行长时间的心灵修炼,长大后,很容易出现一些致命性的问题。
1.教育口诀一:从现在开始,理解一些人情世故美国动画片《狮子王》取材于莎士比亚的《哈姆雷特》,主人公辛巴因为战胜了自己人格当中的弱点,所以化蛹为蝶,战胜了强敌。但编导没有把影片做成一个简单的复仇故事,而是细腻地描写了一个神勇型人格男孩的心智修炼过程,有许多地方都值得神勇型人格男孩的父母三思和借鉴。
在该片中,小狮子辛巴因为禁不住诱惑,两次被叔叔刀疤欺骗,叔叔刀疤借机害死了辛巴的父亲,夺走了王位。这与神勇型人格男孩做事鲁莽、不爱思考的人格特点是有极大关系的。
引人深思的是,一直到长大,辛巴都没有弄明白,虽然他对父亲的死有责任,但并不是自己害死了父亲。直至与儿时的玩伴娜娜相恋后,在对方的开导下,辛巴才慢慢解开心结。由此可以看出,辛巴在感情上还是比较粗糙的,更缺乏对世事人情的理性思考。
神勇型人格男孩的父母,在孩子遇到麻烦后,一定要细心总结,结合发生过的实例,教会他们如何理性思考,冷静客观地解决所遇到的问题。
同时,还要让神勇型人格男孩从小树立这样一种观念:一个男人,并不是不犯错或很少犯错就有魅力,就是英雄。成长也是有代价的,在从男孩变成男人的过程中,犯错是不可避免的,如果自己能用心思考,这些错就会成为自己迈向成功的台阶。
小时候,我家里的经济条件十分不好。母亲多病,一直无法上班;爸爸所在的公司效益不好,也赚不了多少钱。可家里人特别宠爱我,不想让我知道家里的经济状况,所以总是尽可能满足我所有的花销要求,还特别奢侈地让我去少年宫学习踢足球。
记得那时,母亲从来不吃菜里的肉,总是夹给我,还说她不爱吃肉,吃了后胃会不舒服;母亲总是穿着那几件很旧、颜色很深的衣服,在给我买衣服时。
我让她也买几件,她却总是说,她为人低调,不喜欢颜色鲜艳的衣服……我从没有细心想过母亲的话,总以为她是“实话实说”。所以那时,我花钱总是大手大脚的,从不知节俭。
我大学毕业那年,母亲突然去世了。临终前,母亲对我说,她心里很不安,尽管她很节俭,可还有8000元的欠款没还上……此时,我才忽然了解了家里的实际情况,理解了母亲的艰辛与苦痛。
——某民办大学学生董建在这个案例中,因为注意力完全集中到自己的爱好当中,董建根本不理解父母的艰辛,不但没替父母分忧,反而给家里增添了经济负担。
在董建的父母看来,不应让孩子知道家里的困难,否则孩子心里会有压力,影响他的健康成长。但他们没想到,神勇型人格男孩长大后,也是很难自然理解家人内心感受的,甚至会因过于在意自己的面子,而变得“无情无义”。
对于坚强的神勇型人格男孩来说,父母一定要有针对性地对他们实行强化教育,让他们理解世事人情。当他们知道父母生活的艰辛后,不但不会变得消极,反而会变得更勇敢、更懂事。
2.教育口诀二:对反感人物,要有包容心在我国的历史名将中,关羽就是典型的神勇型人格。他最值得后人尊敬的就是其忠义品格。这个义不仅体现在对待亲朋上,也体现在对待反感人物上。
赤壁之战中,关羽活捉并放走了曹操。本来,从理性的角度分析,放走曹操(刘备的主要政治、军事敌手),是不忠于刘备事业的表现,会危及事业和自身的生命。因为在这以前,他在诸葛亮面前签下了“军令状”,完不成任务是要砍脑袋的;而俘虏了曹操则是忠于刘备事业的表现,肯定能得到升迁和厚赏。
关羽觉得,曹操当年俘虏了他,不但不杀他,反而封官加爵,对他有厚恩。所以他认为:有恩自然报。但是,只要报过一次,也就不再欠对方人情了。关羽提出,当年他已经替曹操斩过袁绍的大将颜良与文丑,解了白马之围,已算报过恩了。但是曹操认为:除了白马之围外关羽还欠他一个人情——关羽在出逃之时,过五关斩了自己六员大将,而自己并没有派人去追赶,这笔恩情关羽还没有报答。
关羽听后便毅然冒着生命危险放过曹操的残兵败将,求得恩义的平衡。
时至今日,当代人之所以如此崇尚关羽的品格,将他奉为神明,很重要的一点就是其对反感人物的包容心。这一点,对神勇型男孩来说极为重要,因为只有具备这一素质,他们才能很好地融入社会,而不是成为孤胆英雄。
我上小学的时候,短跑成绩特别好,在市里的各种田径比赛中,得过好多次冠军。当时,我很想做职业运动员。有一年,学校田径队让我和另外3个孩子一起练习4×100米接力这个项目,希望我能为学校增添荣誉。可没练几天,我就泄气了——另3个男孩的成绩太差了,而且训练后,又没什么大的改进。
当时我特别想放弃,高教练劝我说:“因为天资不同,他们是无法跑得像你那么快的。只要大家尽力了,无论结果怎样,这件事情都很有意义,你不要太在意奖励和荣誉。”
……
Introduction

序一可雕琢成美玉的顽石艾德是我的好朋友,他是美国人,在渣打银行北京分行做高管。艾德家有两个男孩:老大叫卡林,10岁;老二叫杰森,8岁。
在刚认识艾德的时候,大家见面一聊到自己的孩子,他就抑制不住自己激动的心情,总是赞叹不已。在他眼里,两个孩子都是绝世奇才:老大卡林是发明天才,老二杰森则是运动天才。
不久,我们去他家做客,见到了卡林和杰森,可这两个小家伙的表现却让我们大跌眼镜。
那天,我们到了艾德家后,老大卡林正在客厅里修理新做的航模,结果不知怎么没控制好,航模突然自己启动了,在客厅里横冲直撞,把客厅里好多东西都撞坏了,还撞到和我一起来的朋友钟伟身上。最终,卡林的航模也撞坏了。
艾德的妻子让卡林给钟伟道歉,可卡林一口咬定自己不是故意的,坚决不道歉。
让我们没想到的是,艾德不但不责罚孩子,还安慰孩子不要难过,要继续努力,适出更好的航模。
老二杰森的表现就更让我们难以接受了:小家伙贪玩,不爱学习,前一阵子在学校和同学打闹时摔伤了,在家休养了半个多月。可伤好后,他依然不愿意去上学,一个人躲在家里玩篮球,使得学校的老师不得不来家里做工作。
对此,艾德一点也不在意,他说自己只引导但不批评孩子,让孩子自己慢慢想通。
钟伟是个特别心直口快的人,他不客气地批评艾德说:“你这两个孩子太有个性了,都是你娇惯的!”艾德反驳说:“有个性就是男孩子最大的优点呀!当然这些个性当中,一定会包含许多缺点。这不要紧,父母一方面要努力引导,另一方面还要努力理解和包容,最终顽石一定能变成美玉。”见我们不说话,艾德又解释道:“我到中国后,一直在研究你们的文化。我记得史书《礼记。学记》中有这样一段话,叫‘玉不琢,不成器;人不学,不知道’。玉在没有雕琢之前,特别平常、不值钱,你们中国人把它叫作‘顽石’。
但顽石已具备了美玉的基本品质和灵性,你们的神话传说中,认为它们是用来补天的,叫‘五彩灵石’或‘补天顽石’。有个性的男孩就是顽石,只要父母雕琢有方,因材施教,他们都能成为最珍贵的美玉!”那天,艾德的话对我触动很大。长期以来,在我们的亲子教育中,一直对有个性的男孩心存偏见,总觉得他们天生是淘孩子、问题孩子,而忽略了他们身上闪光点的挖掘和培养。这样,最终的教育结果是,孩子虽然变得听话乖顺了,可他们身上独有的个性魅力也被扼杀了,长大后,孩子会变成一个平庸的、没有个性与创造力的“老油条”。
这种教育的结果是十分可怕的,已越来越显现出它的弊端:孩子高分低能,大学毕业后,实战能力、沟通能力、人际协调能力都不佳,无法变成创造型人才,只会抄袭模仿……通过阅读本书,希望更多的中国家长能重视这个问题,学会对个性男孩实施个性化的培养策略,把孩子身上的闪光点全部挖掘出来,让这些被称为“顽石”的个性男孩,都能成为“稀世珍宝”。

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Brand Jingdong book
Brand Origin China

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    Standard Shipping is $5.99 (Excluding Alaska & Hawaii). Free on orders of $49 or more.

    Local Express is $5.99 (Available in Parts of CA, NJ, MA & PA). Free on orders of $49 or more.

    2-Day Express (Includes Alaska & Hawaii) starts at $19.99.

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Yami Cross-store Free Shipping over $69
Yami 30-days Return

Yami-China FC

Yami has a consolidation warehouse in China which collects multiple sellers’ packages and combines to one order. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to your door. Cross-store free shipping over $69.

Return Policy

You may return products within 30 days upon receiving the products. Sellers take responsibilities for any wrong shipment or missing items. Packing needs to be unopened for any other than quality issues return. We promise to pack carefully, but because goods are taking long journey to destinations, simple damages to packaging may occur. Any damages not causing internal goods quality problems are not allowed to return. If you open the package and any quality problem is found, please contact customer service within three days after receipt of goods.

Shipping Information

Yami Consolidation Service Shipping Fee $9.99(Free shipping over $69)

Sellers in China will ship their orders within 1-2 business days once the order is placed. Packages are sent to our consolidation warehouse in China and combined there. Our Yami consolidation warehouse will directly ship the packages to you via UPS. The average time for UPS to ship from China to the United States is about 10 working days and it can be traced using the tracking number. Due to the pandemic, the delivery time may be delayed by about 5 days. The package needs to be signed by the guest. If the receipt is not signed, the customer shall bear the risk of loss of the package.

Sold by JD@CHINA

Service Guarantee

Free shipping over 69
Genuine guarantee

Shipping

Yami Consolidated Shipping $9.99(Free shipping over $69)


Seller will ship the orders within 1-2 business days. The logistics time limit is expected to be 7-15 working days. In case of customs clearance, the delivery time will be extended by 3-7 days. The final receipt date is subject to the information of the postal company.

Yami Points information

All items are excluding from any promotion or points events on Yamibuy.com

Return Policy

You may return product within 30 days upon receiving the product. Items returned must be new in it's original packing, including the original invoice for the purchase. Customer return product at their own expense.

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About the brand

Jingdong book

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About the brand

Jingdong book