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Jingdong book

港爸大战虎妈妈

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Jingdong book

港爸大战虎妈妈

Name: 港爸大战虎妈妈
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 3113014561
Price: 23.96 USD
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港爸港妈，实不易为！我们都期望子女成龙成凤，不过如何教育、如何引导，煞费思量。教养儿女的善法，似乎未有定式，亦难有定论，父母可以做的是：尽本分、尽责任、尽自己最大的努力！
虎妈妈教子成功，惹得做了十几年港爸的林广辉校长心痒，二话不说立即提笔，以其既为校长又为父亲的双重身份，总结两面经验，写下这本《港爸大战虎妈妈》。

Content Description

虎妈妈教子成功，惹得做了十几年港爸的林广辉校长心痒，二话不说立即提笔，以其既为校长又为父亲的双重身份，总结两面经验，写下这本《港爸大战虎妈妈》。
林校长不让虎妈妈专美，也把自己教子的实际经验，融汇各种亲子理论，分析美国、中国内地、中国香港三种家教方式的优劣，加入九型人格等沟通理论、生活化的实例等，让家长能更针对性地看清自家孩子的特性，运用更有效的亲子技巧，与子女多沟通，与子女一起成长。
林家有子初长成，其子林泽铭是出版过8本长篇小说的中学生作家，港爸是校长和家长。父子合作，相得益彰。
《港爸大战虎妈妈》与其儿子写的《港孩有话对您说》一书配套，与孩子就共同的话题各自抒发所思所感，各自成书。港孩港爸两本书相互呼应，构思非常新颖、独到。

Catalogue

第1章从《虎妈的战歌》一书说起
1．1 中国传统式父母、港爸港妈及美式家长在教育子女方面的比较
1．2 虎妈管教法行得通吗？
1．3 假如子女是SEN
1．4 学琴的思考
1．5 一切都是平衡

第2章中国文化中的管教精粹
2．1 因材施教
2．2 全人教育德育为先
2．3 重视内在自省
2．4 依礼而行
2．5 身教模范

第3章管教方法何处寻
3．1 管教模式
3．2 谈惩罚
3．3 谈赞赏
3．4 谈自我观
3．5 谈归因
3．6 谈成功教育
3．7 谈自证预言

第4章管教难题
4．1 打游戏机风云
4．2 Hea精的处理
4．3 心不在焉
4．4 谈情说爱
4．5 理财教育

第5章为父母之道
5．1 开明权威型
5．2 做个有感染力的家长
5．3 应用九型人格理论
结语

Book Abstract

第一条“不准在别人家中过夜”还算说得通。规限子女不能夜归，禁止子女在别人家中留宿，既顾及子女安全，亦预防子女结交不良分子，沾染不当行为，有一定的合理性。不过，连朋友聚会也不准参与，却有点矫枉过正、不合情理。虎妈的用意是要令两个女儿有更多时间专注在学业和音乐方面，但是禁止女儿的其他活动，是否表示女儿无须任何正常、正当的社交生活？
第二条“不准参加朋友聚会”显得守旧而不近人情。家长不应禁止子女与朋友交往，而是要教懂子女善于择友，让子女明白“近朱者赤，近墨者黑”的道理，有能力分辨益友和损友， “无友不如己者”，从同侪中自我改进，更是现时港孩需具备的能力。
“五育”中有谓“群育”，亦即下一代需要学习与人相处的技巧，学习在团体中待人接物的方法，这是全人教育必须具备的元素之一。况且，从朋俦中也可以相互学习、促进成长，所谓“三人行，必有我师焉，择其善者而从之，择其不善者而改之”，学习别人长处，弥补自己不足，与人交往，其实也是一种学习，不能视为浪费时间。此外，未来子女就业的发展，更需依仗社交网络的建立，自我孤立及独善其身实在不合时宜。
第三、四及六条有关话剧及课外活动的看法，是对子女参与课外活动的规限。明显地，虎妈对课外活动的挑选很功利化，她认为只有音乐，并只限于钢琴、小提琴才是有意义、具深度和能培养精湛技巧的活动，其他如打鼓、敲击乐都非高尚乐器，难登大雅之堂，而戏剧也无意义，徒在排练上浪费时间，没大用处。
问题是：子女参与活动的目的是什么？这与港爸港妈不同。港爸港妈则贪多务得，期望子女身怀十八般武艺，样样皆能。事实上，课内外活动皆无分高尚与低下，任何有益身心、配合孩童特质发展的都是好活动。
音乐、体育、艺术、语文、武术、写作、制服团队等不同类型的活动，都有助开展孩童的潜能，音乐天分欠佳的可参与体育活动，体质孱弱的可发展艺术项目，艺术细胞不足的可加人社会服务团队，各适其适，各展所长。千万不要把活动看得太沉重，一定要与升学挂钩、要与未来前途挂钩。
第五条“不准看电视或玩电脑游戏”，对港爸港妈而言，如果确能施行，一定拍手赞好。不少港孩成了电视精、计算机痴，枉花不少时间，荒废学业，令家长们担心不已。虎妈这条规则，一定赢取不少人心。不过，中国古语有谓“过犹不及”，钟摆切忌由一极端去至另一极端，合理的操控胜过一律禁止，父母的职责是要教导子女懂得自控，要令孩子能自我控制事物而非由他物所控， “君子役物小人役于物”，这是更高层次的自律，长远来说比虎妈的高压禁止更有效果。
第七及八条是强调学业的重要性，而且要求极高，每科要取第一名，不可低于A。虎妈对女儿的功课甚为看重，她要求“家课答案要查核三次”，不认识的单字要查考，并要把解释一字不漏地背出来。虎妈认为肯努力，便会有好表现、好成绩。
在香港，绝大部分的港爸港妈都看重子女的学业表现，毕竟，学业成绩是升学、就业的重要凭据，要升大学、要取得学位，就是在成绩上胜于他人。于是，家长尽情催谷，想方设法要令子女在公开试上夺取佳绩，补习社大行其道，这无疑是目前香港的实况。不过，虎妈要求“只能第一”、“只能摘A”，是否有点过态？对子女所造成的压力（当然不是动力）是否太大？不要忘记，一山还有一山高，稍一失手，沦为第二，也非“世界末日”！还记得多年前台湾一名大学生，从小学到中学，年年考第一，某次大学考试位列第三，便承受不了，于是自寻短见。此类悲剧，实在不愿多见。其实，所谓“人比人，比死人”。我们可否教导子女跟他们自己比较，以超越自我作为挑战，家长无须将标准定为 “第一”，只要是合理、是高而可达的期望就可以了！
观乎现今社会发展趋势，虎妈只看重学业成绩，事实上也未能满足社会对未来一代的要求。时代急速转变，单靠一纸学历已不能立足于现今社会，目前雇主所重视的是雇员的能力，包括思考能力、批判能力、解难能力、与人相处的能力，单靠读书而获取高成绩的学生，只会成为“高分低能”的产品，被雇主遗弃。Thomas L．Friedman《世界是平的》（The World is Flat）一书，已清晰指出，随着全球一体化，世界已被“抹平”，新一代面对更大的冲击和挑战，需要提高自我的竞争力。虎妈单是催谷女儿的学业成绩，却忽略其他能力的发展，并不符合现今社会的发展需求。
……

Introduction

港爸港妈，实不易为！我们都期望子女成龙成凤，不过如何教育、如何引导，煞费思量。教养儿女的善法，似乎未有定式，亦难有定论，父母可以做的是：尽本分、尽责任、尽自己最大的努力！
自己作为港爸的十多年岁月，未尽圆足之处着实不少，如果时光可以倒流，有些地方应该可以做得更多、做得更好。知易行难，家长之困，正在于此。感幸的是：在儿子成长的路途上，自问悉力以赴，于心无憾。港孩现象，备受关注。这次能与儿子林泽铭就共同的话题各自抒发所思所感，各自付梓成书[我的是这本《港爸大战虎妈妈》，他的是《港孩告白》（简体版书名为《港孩有话对您说》）]，实在是难得的机会与机缘，也是难得的亲子经历。
曾几何时有过这样的念头：将当年临睡前为龟兔赛跑与儿子一同构想的一百个结局，撰拟成《新编龟兔赛跑100则》，只可惜，写了几篇，便无疾而终。感谢明窗出版社Nancy编辑的构思和督促（不断催稿），实现了我这个未达成的愿望。
上阵不离父子兵，可惜泽铭不喜踢球，要在球场上我俩并肩作战，机会甚微；但能在写作道路上，父子“合作”，港孩港爸相互呼应，确是一桩期待已久的乐事。
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