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法国妈妈育儿经精华实践版

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★《纽约时报》畅销书榜、美国亚马逊书店第一名图书《法国妈妈育儿经》作者最新力作!
★无论是在美国、英国还是在中国,法国妈妈的育儿方法已经得到了普遍的认可,法式育儿正在流行!
★本书的100个育儿方法明晰、简单、易实现,符合速度时代父母的需求,是一本简单易操作的育儿实践手册。
Content Description

《法国妈妈育儿经精华实践版》是畅销书《法国妈妈育儿经》作者的最新力作,是《法国妈妈育儿经》的智慧精华。
内容分为10部分,包括睡眠、饮食、纪律和母爱等内容,针对不同方面罗列了100个育儿的方法。这些方法语言精炼,简单易操作,能够在速度时代给辛苦的父母提供最快捷最简单而实用的指导。
以下几条是对书中内容简明扼要的展示:
·不要借你伴侣的衬衫来穿
·让蔬菜成为孩子的第一道食物
·教会孩子4 个神奇的词语:请、谢谢、你好、再见
·放慢你的响应时间
·你可以比你不开心的孩子更开心
Author Description

帕梅拉·德鲁克曼(Pamela Druckerman),专栏作家,曾任美国《华尔街日报》记者。文章散见于《纽约时报》、《华盛顿邮报》,杂志《嘉人》(Marie Claire)等。曾著有畅销书《外遇不用翻译》(Lust in Translation),被译成8 种语言发行。《法国妈妈育儿经》(Bringing up Bébé)一上市即售出:英国、德国、意大利、丹麦、瑞典、芬兰等18国版权。现居住在巴黎。
Catalogue

序言
第一章 烤箱里的羊角面包
是孕妇就有担心。毕竟,孕妇是在“造人”,尽管其中有些人甚至连晚饭都不会做。我们觉得,我们必须掂量所吃的每一口食物对肚子里的孩子是不是最好的。所有的这些担心让人感觉并不好受,但这些担心又并非毫无意义。我们在发出这样的信号:为了未出世的孩子,我们愿意牺牲一切。

第二章 每个宝贝都是爱因斯坦
法国人认为,婴儿并不是“无助的小水滴”。他们把刚刚出生的婴儿看成是一个个小小的理性人,这些“小人儿们”可以听懂我们说的话,也具备了学习能力(当温柔地、以他们的节奏去教的时候)。

第三章 睡吧,宝贝
在法国,有一则这样的悖论:法国婴儿们在三四个月大,甚至更小的时候就可以整夜安睡。但他们的父母也不会让他们连续哭几个小时。如果你相信小宝宝们是有学习能力的,那么你就应该教给他们一些东西。其中一项可以尽早教给他们的就是如何睡觉。

第四章 宝贝美食家
想象一下,有这样一个星球,一家人在一起用餐时氛围愉悦,孩子们和父母享受着相同的美食,也很少会发胖。这个星球就是法国。但罗马并不是一天建成的。法国父母们会不遗余力地手把手教孩子如何好好吃饭,一天至少要付出4次努力。

第五章 欲速则不达
很多人都把孩子的童年时期看作一次马拉松赛跑的开始,比赛的终点就是顺利进入大学(胜利者会去常春藤盟校)。法国父母也同样希望他们的孩子成功。但是他们可能不会用马拉松这个比喻。

第六章 等一下
法国人的家庭生活通常都很平静的一个原因是父母们经常强调要有耐心。他们不会把等待作为孩子与生俱来(或者天生就没有)的一种能力,其他相关的能力也是,比如处理挫折和延迟满足感的能力。

第七章 做你自己
当一个法国妈妈过多地干涉孩子的时候,会有人说:“让孩子过他自己的生活!”法国父母会为孩子做很多事,但是他们并不准备给孩子扫清所有障碍,无论是身体上的还是情绪上的。他们把孩子当成一个个独立的个体,随着年龄的增长,这些独立的人能自己应对更多挑战。

第八章 做回女人
法国人的观点是,你生命中的任一部分——成为妻子、雇员或者妈妈——都不应该让其他
的部分黯然失色。即使是最有奉献精神的妈妈,也应该要把她的一部分精力和热情投入到孩子之外的其他事情上。

第九章 重建夫妻亲密关系
在孩子3个月左右的时候,父母们应该给两人的亲密关系留出一些空间。关于这件事,并没有固定的时间表。没人认为他们可以把孩子扔在一边直接跳上去巴厘岛的飞机。这更多是一种全新的平衡,他们需要在找到平衡的过程中再一次了解亲密关系的样子——身体上和情感上的,在家里找到作为夫妻的二人空间。

第十章 要学会说“不”
法国有一句育儿口号:“由我做决定(我拥有绝对的决定权)。”父母们会说出——甚至偶尔喊出这句话来提醒大家,谁是决定权的拥有者,或者将局势扭转到他们想要的方向。说出来就是让它得到强化(尝试说一次,甚至用法语也可以,你会感觉到自己的腰杆挺得更直了)。

巴黎托儿所的美味食谱
巴黎托儿所一周午餐食谱
致谢

Book Abstract

第三章 睡吧,宝贝
在法国,有一则这样的悖论:法国婴儿们在三四个月大,甚至更小的时候就可以整夜安睡。但他们的父母也不会让他们连续哭几个小时。
这并不是巧合,也不是神话,更不是给孩子牛奶里加白兰地的结果。如果你相信小宝宝们是有学习能力的,那么你就应该教给他们一些东西。其中一项可以尽早教给他们的就是如何睡觉。
18.了解睡眠规律
你的宝宝是独一无二的,是可爱的,也许有一天会被一所高校的表演艺术专业所接收,也无疑会出现一部记录他一生的传记片。在这部传记片里,逐渐老去的格温妮丝??帕特洛扮演了你的角色,也就是那年老但依旧迷人的母亲。然而,如同法国父母所知道的那样,你自己的孩子也是受科学规律所支配的。其中一条规律就是,所有健康的婴儿,包括你自己的宝宝,睡眠周期都是短暂的。在每个睡眠周期结束时,宝宝们通常会醒来,然后哭一会儿。
延长睡眠时间的关键是让宝宝学会独立地从一个睡眠周期过渡到下一个睡眠周期。他需要在醒来后能够迅速进入下一个周期,而不需要有人打断这个过渡将他抱起来。成年人——除了失眠患者和更年期的人之外——每天晚上也都会有同样的经历。
将睡眠周期连接起来是一种技能。极少数幸运的宝宝有这种与生俱来的本领,大多数需要通过练习才能掌握。
19.婴儿睡觉时并不安静
在睡觉的时候,小婴儿们都会发出各种各样的声音。即使他们会哼哼唧唧的,或像交警一样挥舞手臂,也并不表明他们醒了。如果你在他们发出声响的时候冲进他们的房间,或者把他们抱起来,就会真的把他们吵醒。
20.“暂停一下”
我们知道,婴儿们学习在睡眠周期之间独立过渡时经常会哭闹。我们也知道他们可能会在睡眠状态下弄出点动静,就像一只生气的青蛙。因此,从婴儿几周大开始,当他晚上哭闹时,你在过去安抚之前得“暂停一下”。
你需要等等看,这一次宝宝是不是能取得突破性进展,不需要其他人帮忙,可以自己进入下一个睡眠周期。如果你立即冲进房间把他抱起来,他就失去了学会这个本领的机会。
也许宝宝还没有准备好独自面对睡眠过渡期。但如果不停一下,你就不会知道他究竟有没有准备好,宝宝自己也不会知道。他还以为每个周期结束后,只有你把他抱起来再放回去之后,他才能再次入睡。立刻冲进去可能让你感觉自己是一个认真尽责的家长,但实际上你把宝宝当成了“无助的小水滴”, 认为他还没有准备好学习和成长。 同时,婴儿也可能只是在睡觉的时候发出了声响。但如果你立马进去把他抱起来, 你可能——尽管你的初衷是好的——会把他吵醒。
停顿不用太长。一些法国父母会等待5分钟左右,其他人等的时间或长或短,但他们都不会让宝宝一直哭。如果等待几分钟之后,宝宝仍然在哭,他们会推断宝宝真的有需要,然后把他抱起来。
21.将孩子调整到睡眠状态
“暂停一下”是教孩子如何睡觉的必要非充分条件。法国人认为,给孩子设定就寝时间的基调时,也需要有一种“仪式”。白天的时候,即使孩子只是在打盹,也要让他在光亮的地方待着。通过给他洗澡、换睡衣、唱摇篮曲,以及最直接的道“晚安”的方式提示孩子,夜晚的休息时间快到了。一旦他安静、放松下来,尽管仍旧醒着,也要把他放在黑暗的房间里。在入睡之前,共享温馨时刻。当你觉得即使他离开你那么一小段时间也完全没问题的时候,就离开他,让他安心入睡吧。
22.尝试“谈话疗法”
为什么要跟其他人谈论你的孩子如何睡觉而不是跟孩子自己呢?告诉他现在是睡觉时间,告诉他家人都需要休息,告诉他在你进来看他前你会先等几分钟,因为你想要他自己再次入睡。告诉他,当他不再在凌晨3点醒来的时候,对每个家庭成员——包括他自己来说都是件多么美好的事情。一本法国育儿书说,当婴儿第一次安睡一整夜后,他的父母应该向他表达自己有多么开心和自豪。这样做也会帮助婴儿巩固这项新学到的能力。
23.好的睡眠对孩子很重要
法国父母教宝宝怎么睡好觉不仅是为了自己,更是为了孩子的健康成长。有研究就表明:一个睡不好的孩子可能会表现得多动和急躁,在学习和记忆力方面也成问题,还会制造更多“小事故”。(就我个人的观察,缺觉的妈妈也是这样的。)
对宝宝们来说,睡觉还有另外一个重要的意义:学习睡觉也是在学习怎样融入这个家庭。最终,宝宝们都需要去适应其他家庭成员的生活节奏。3个月——这个年龄的法国婴儿能睡整夜觉了——正好是法国妈妈们结束产假的时候,也是很多妈妈需要睡个好觉,为即将开始的工作养精蓄锐的时候。
24.不要期望所有的方法都能立即奏效
因为你的期望很有可能会落空。但要坚持,并坚定地相信你的宝宝能够,就像法国人常说的,“搞定他的夜晚”。还要把这种信心传递给你的宝宝。(会有用的!)相信如果你坚持温柔耐心地教他如何睡个好觉,那么他最终真的能学会——通常就在你自己因为缺觉而快要抓狂的时候。
25.如果错失了“暂停一下”的机会, 就让孩子哭个够
在婴儿出生后最初的4个月里,“暂停一下”这种温和的睡眠教授法是最有效的。如果父母错过了这个年龄段,法国专家一般建议采用让孩子哭个够的方式,在你过去安抚他之前,先让他哭一段时间。但也要和孩子解释这样做的原因。一般几个晚上后,你的睡眠教授法就会见效。
……

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