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Jingdong book

从一般到优秀

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心理学教授方刚引领孩子个性化自由发展
突破影视教育功利枷锁
宠爱育儿理念挖掘平凡少年非凡创造力
宠爱教育,不是简单溺爱,而是基于理解的理性呵护
对于孩子,父母必须:
尽可能地疼爱、抚慰;
尽可能满足他提出的所有要求;
尽可能不批评,必须批评的时候要紧跟着表扬几句;
尽可能让他自由地行动,对他想做的事,在不伤害他自身的前提下不加任何限制;
尽可能避免打骂,实在气急时打骂了,事后要向他道歉和解释。
宠爱教育是欣赏和鼓励。由此长大的孩子,是自信和上进的
读者群体明确,针对关注孩子教育问题的家长,受众广泛。
与市场大部分同类书籍宣扬的理念不同,提出作者独创的“宠爱育儿理念”,能给予广大父母一次全新的思考机会。
从作者亲身经历出发,温馨感人,生动活泼,很多事例具有很强的育儿启迪作用,能引发家长们的共鸣。

Content Description

《从一般到优秀》记录了自己的孩子从出生到小学毕业12年间的成长经历,也记录了作为一位父亲在教育孩子的亲身实践中,大胆探索反传统教育模式的心路历程。全书通过一个个成长小故事,引导父母一起思考关于快乐、成长、亲情和爱的教育。
Author Description

方刚,中国人民大学社会学博士,北京林业大学性与性别研究所所长,联合国秘书长“联合起来制止针对妇女暴力运动男性领导人网络”成员,出版著作50余部,与子女教育有关的如《宠爱孩子》《开放的性教育:影响孩子一生的性教育》等。
Catalogue

自序 宠爱孩子,就让他做“中等生”吧!

第一章 大于负一,小于等于零
做一个快乐、智慧的女性主义者
为什么生你
爸爸的理想和痴想
希望你是女孩儿
教养
读什么书
如何做学生
性问题
打猎去?
布老虎
你将是“精神贵族”
与你告别
温馨絮语

第二章 大于零,小于等于一
成长印迹
襁褓里的孙子
做一个男性解放主义者
男人这个性别
名字的寓意
游戏无模式
“好爸爸”
想哭就哭
抛弃性别歧视
卸掉期望的重轭
孩子带来的启示
妻子想生男孩儿
产房外的表情
布娃娃
儿子的婴儿期教育
温馨絮语

第三章 大于一,小于等于二
成长印迹
把菜刀当玩具
使劲儿地娇宠他
“我们爱你”
温馨絮语

第四章 大于二,小于等于三
成长印迹
入托前后
不开启的贺卡
老奶奶的承诺
批评名著
赞美他
协商
一大于二
“贵族幼儿园”
准备好了再做父母
男孩子的第二次“断乳”
“这叫阴茎,你也有呀”
和孙子一起玩
温馨絮语

第五章 大于三,小于等于四
成长印迹
“大饼”与“讨厌鬼”
死亡话题
自由地涂画
和孩子玩
漆黑的晚上
宠爱教育
儿子的“谎言”
一位网友的质疑
防盗门与小号
带谁去旅游
妻子写的故事(2则)
“漂亮的小熊”
儿子的消费经
温馨絮语

第六章 大于四,小于等于五
成长印迹
儿子与书
你幸福了吗
与儿子同眠
鼓励的作用
学习维权
告诉我,但不要打我
睡前游戏
“非典”时期的快乐爸爸
心永远悬着
我喜欢你
“学生银行”事件的“另类观点”
裸女玻璃门与儿子的性教育
温馨絮语

第七章 大于五,小于等于六
成长印迹
重视任何一点点“反常”
把不喜欢的事变成游戏
孩子不会“捣乱”
一次闲聊中的理念熏陶
压岁钱与权利
“虚荣心”也值得鼓励
小小年纪的维权意识
不要误解孩子
他只会问到这里
与陌生人相遇
“父幼月”
老小孩儿和小小孩儿
别拿孩子撒气
我们的教育理念错了吗?
“打人”事件
比较三个幼儿园的“资质”
两位母亲教育理念的冲突
妈妈写给儿子的信
在幼儿园最后一周的故事
亲子之情可以治病
温馨絮语
奶奶的温馨絮语

第八章 大于六,小于等于七
成长印迹
混乱的一天
全身心和孩子玩
第一次犯错误
自己做决定
小标兵
漫画大师的签名
“妈妈爱……”
信任
退伙事件
没有私家车
分床195涵养196惭愧
温馨絮语

第九章 大于七,小于等于八
成长印迹
挨批
惩罚与奖励
美术老师
头破了
头又破了
“两面派”
控制不住
暴露法
担忧的心
尊重
一点进步
摘梨
自我记录
故事大王的诞生
“劳技中心”的收获
教训
我的航海舰队
冬天哪儿去了
我的悔过
温馨絮语

第十章 大于八,小于等于九
成长印迹
渐入主流
儿子要评“三好”
爸爸去台湾
寄希望于孩子
“退化”
自我记录
等爸爸回家
爸爸的礼物
哥哥来了
爸爸真烦人
数学日记
愿意长大的我
同学生病了
香山拾瓶子的老人
温馨絮语

第十一章 大于九,小于等于十
成长印迹
阅读的潜力
心灵之桥
劣质巧克力
多能说呀
求您了……
和孩子一起旅游
旧词新解
自我记录
我的老师
我们的“自留地”
我收获了学习方法
月到中秋
和奶奶在一起
我爱迪迦??奥特曼
胡同游
冰上游戏
压岁钱
我病了
春游
搭纸塔
心手相连度六一
温馨絮语

第十二章 大于十,小于等于十一
成长印迹
儿子教会我游泳
AA制聚餐
上课外班
拼图的启示
当上中队委
谈人生
单纯
滑轱辘鞋
实习老师
树枝爱好者
做家务
性别教育
自我记录
我的爸爸
我和长辈比童年
打雪仗
校园的成长
妈妈的爱
职业体验
“专家”
六一演出
温馨絮语

第十三章 大于十一,小于等于十二
成长印迹
谁的错
师生角色
矛盾
“新怀疑主义”
循环日记
对儿子发火
不会宠坏
放弃奥数课
露台上的男孩
浸泡英语
男孩子的游戏
H1N1来了
“食物联合国”
绯闻
冲冠一怒为孩子
家长各有苦心事
我和儿子的对话
抗争的结局
胜利的战斗
零用钱
儿子的恶作剧
想象分别
给后代的告诫
温馨絮语
Book Abstract

《从一般到优秀》:
如果我的方法尚待商榷的话,我想“百合醉了”的父亲至少可以这样做:一方面肯定孩子的上进心与对荣誉的追求,另一方面告诉她,真的努力去做,就一定会受到老师的表扬。同时含蓄地暗示孩子,即使是完全出于好意而说“不存在的事情”,也不是一种值得称赞的行为。
不要担心孩子不理解你的暗示,他们的内心像雨后的天空一样洁净,他们都是小精灵,心里什么都明白。成人总是过低估价孩子,同时又过高估价自己。
不当场揭穿孩子的小把戏,是为了不伤害他们的自尊心与进取心,但是,这并不意味着以后无条件地鼓励他的小把戏。应该将他表现出的上进心在适当的时候以适当的方式进行引导。
“百合醉了”的父亲的强行压制行为,推行了一种家长制的权威,这是不利于孩子从小树立民主精神的。同时也说明,传统教育注重表象、注重结果,而不是关心人内心的成长;同时传统教育本质上是以成人的眼光看世界、看孩子。而现代教育理念是以孩子的视角看孩子,它注重的是人性的自由成长,而不是成人世界规范的维护。
从另一个角度看,不许孩子说谎本身并不符合成人世界规范,因为成人们一直在说谎,为什么孩子却不能说呢?
对自己一套对孩子一套,这便是成人的虚伪,本质在于太小看孩子们了。
防盗门与小号
未做父母的人,永远也不可能真正理解做父母的心情。
我主要写作两性关系的书,常有读者找来咨询一些婚姻困境之类的问题。儿子出生之前,遇到处于离婚边缘的夫妻,我做出是否离婚的建议时,孩子只是一个次要的参考因素。我当时常说的话是:维持很糟的婚姻并不一定比结束这婚姻对孩子的影响更好。
但是,儿子出生之后,再遇到类似的咨询者,我则将孩子作为一个重要的考虑因素了。
有两件事,发生在十多年前,原本早已淡忘了,但是儿子出生后,我们却时常清晰地回忆起来,并感到很内疚。
一件发生在我和妻子结婚不久,邻家的夫妻刚生了小孩子,夏天热,我们便整天开着单元房门,单元防盗门质量不好,必须使劲儿撞才能关上,所以每次进出家的时候防盗门都要弄出很大的响声。紧随这响声的,便是婴儿的啼哭。但少不更事的我们什么都没有意识到。直到有一天,邻家的年轻母亲对我们说:孩子睡觉多,关门时常吵醒他,麻烦您留意小声些。
但习惯已然养成,转天出门时,我又使劲地摔上了防盗门,于是,婴儿的哭声与母亲心疼的劝慰声接着响起……
10年后,儿子出生了,当儿子被各种噪音从睡梦中惊醒大哭的时候,我就会想起邻家的婴儿,感到无比羞愧。另一件事发生在我和妻子到北京后最早住的一幢高层里,也是通常开窗睡觉的夏天。我早晨喜欢睡懒觉,而每个周末的早晨,7点多钟,总会被楼上某层传来的一阵吹奏小号的声音吵醒。一天,被吵醒的我终于气恼地推开窗户,冲着外面大吼了一通。此前,那周末的小号声在全天会多次响起,而我发过脾气后,不仅早晨听不到小号声,任何时候都听不到了。我感到很欣慰。
一天晚上,我和妻子下楼散步,无意间注意到,在马路边沿上坐着一对母女,女儿正认真地吹着小号……儿子3岁半的时候,主动要求弹奏电子琴,这时,我便会想起那坐在马路边的母女,于是,一丝愧疚再次涌上心头……
……

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Brand Jingdong book
Brand Origin China

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