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Jingdong book

你不该输在情绪上

你不该输在情绪上

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Editer Recommend

◎10节情绪管理课程
送给偶尔涌现负能量,无法管理自己情绪的人;
送给那些一直在努力,却一直原地踏步的人。
管理自己的情绪,成就高情商。
◎有时你是不是也这样:
聚会时,再热闹的氛围也无法掩饰自己因为某件事而低落的心情,最后不欢而散;
考试结束,只因一个小错误,就认为自己全盘皆输,不停地抱怨,最后“赶走”了朋友;
下班后,因为工作上的小问题,回家挑三拣四、大发雷霆,导致家庭不和睦。
20岁被情绪左右行为,是青涩;30岁被情绪左右行为,是情绪管理能力差。
◎这是本任何时候打开都不晚的情绪管理图书
如果你习惯了抱怨、习惯了忧郁、习惯了被情绪牵着走,那你就会忘记初心、忘记自己曾经的志向。
学会管理情绪,即使情绪很低落,也不要皱眉,想想爱你的人是如何着迷于你的笑容。

Content Description

有时会无意识的意气用事,出口不逊、伤人伤己怎么办?

生活中的哪些问题时常影响情绪?

如何管理情绪,成就高情商?

怎么让思维理性化,摆脱情绪问题?

人人都懂大道理,却难以控制小情绪。情绪虽小,但力量巨大。

……

无论工作生活,都要管理好自己的情绪,善用理性化思维,提高情商数值。不成功,不是因为懂得少;想不到,往往是因为缺乏情绪管理能力。

本书通过10节情绪管理课程,将理论与案例相结合,从认识情绪、控制情绪、管理情绪、改变情绪等方面,讲述如何认清、了解各类情绪,告诉人们管理好自己的情绪,成就高情商。


Author Description

李世强(笔名:木子),自由撰稿人,80后新锐作者。游走世界,看遍各国人文、动态,以独特的视角解读不同的人生。曾从事图书编辑,互联网企业主编,互联网培训师等工作。专注于情绪、人格与人际交往等心理学领域研究数十年,颇有建树。
现已出版:《幽默沟通技巧:在任何场合说服任何人》《曾国藩:魔力不倒翁的生存寓言》《激发潜能的心理暗示》《现在你受的苦,必将照亮未来的每一步》《见字如面:重温书信里的时光和记忆》《遗失的古国》等十余部作品。

Comments

情绪作为支配大多数人行为的思想,已经变得尤为重要。进入21世纪,有关情绪的论文、书籍日益增多。我有幸通过该书详尽的观点、案例,了解情绪对自身行为的控制及影响。
——夏朵

当我们关注社会现象时,这本书提醒我们关注自己的情绪;当我们情绪失控时,这本书提醒我们及时掌控情绪。
——叶荷新

该书帮助我认清情绪对自身的影响,引导我正视负面情绪带来的创伤。作者不仅提供了控制情绪的方法,还着重分析了负面情绪的成因。该书无疑是一本情绪使用指南。
——庄晓

Catalogue

前言
上篇 了解情绪,就赢得人生
Part 1让阳光照进生活:快乐的人生源自每天的好情绪
Part 2在我的地盘听我的:有效控制不良情绪
Part 3成为自己人生的“摆渡人”:我的情绪我做主
Part 4别把简单的问题复杂化: 为情绪统统做个减法
Part 5心境决定心情:训练情绪,让它更加理性化
下篇 了解情绪,才能改变情绪
Part 6低落时不妨笑一笑:放下负担,放下忧郁的情绪
Part 7没有抱怨,快乐才会常伴:身上充满怨气,生活会越来越幽怨
Part 8没有攀比就没有烦恼:别生活在别人的世界中
Part 9想要的越多失去的越多: 贪婪是个无底洞,永远都是欲壑难填
Part 10勇于尝试才能迈向成功:战胜懦弱,站上自己的人生巅峰

Book Abstract

◎你自己的想法,不要轻易受情绪摆布
你是否也有过这样的经历:考试前焦虑不安、坐卧不宁?被老师父母批评后容易自暴自弃?和朋友争吵后,上街乱逛,并买一堆多余的东西泄愤呢?
偶尔有这样的情绪不要紧,如果经常这样,你可就得注意了!因为不知不觉中,你已经成了“情绪”的奴隶,陷入情绪的泥淖而无法自拔。所以,一旦心情不好,你就“不得不”坐立不安、“不得不”旷工、“不得不”乱花钱、“不得不”酗酒滋事。
就让我们来管理自己的情绪吧。心平气和地对待一切事物,这样,我们的情绪才会保持在一种良好的状态下。如果我们为别人带来风雨、忧郁、黑暗和悲观,那么,他们也会报之以风雨、忧郁、黑暗和悲观。相反,如果我们为别人带来欢乐、喜悦、光明和笑声,他们也会报之以欢乐、喜悦、光明和笑声。如果我们在学会控制自己的情绪的同时,还能体察别人的情绪变化,那么,我们更容易使自己保持好心情。
每人心中都有一把“快乐的钥匙”,我们却常在不知不觉中把这把钥匙交给别人来掌管。一位销售员抱怨道:“我活得很不快乐,因为我经常碰到糟糕的客户。”这位销售员把快乐的钥匙放到了客户手里。一位职员说:“我的老板很苛刻,我很生气!”这位职员把快乐的钥匙交到了老板手中。而一个成熟的人会握住自己快乐的钥匙,他不期待别人使他快乐,反而能将快乐与幸福带给别人。
弱者任思绪控制行为,强者让行为控制思绪。正如奥格·曼狄诺所说:“学会掌握情绪,做情绪的主人,是人生前行的关键。”
马琴力曾是美国副总统。一天,一个议员带着几个人冲进了他的办公室,对他做出的一个决定表示抗议。议员开口就用很难听的话咒骂马琴力,马琴力却异常平静,一点儿也不动怒,耐心地听着他发泄怒气。
等他们一个个说得筋疲力尽后,马琴力才用温和的口气问:“现在你们觉得好些了吗?”然后,马琴力开始向他们解释自己为什么要做那项决定。总统平和的态度,使那个议员脸红了,他意识到自己的观点的确站不住脚。
如果马琴力总统在议员粗暴地指责他时竭力地解释,那只会导致一场更激烈的争吵。但凡有负面情绪,最根本的原因都是心底感觉不如意。通常能正确处理负面情绪的人,都会将不如意的事看作路上的一个小水洼,有时泥水溅在脚上,皱皱眉也就过去了。喜欢愤怒的人不同,他们的水洼里全是汽油,一点就着,不但烧得自己面目全非,而且定要殃及旁人,让旁人跟着不好过。等到他们冷静下来,发现脾气发得狠了,话说得重了,才想去道歉。但受害者委屈也受了,气也生了,心里有了裂痕,哪有那么容易弥补?
怒气伤身,发怒会使人血液中的毒素增加,导致皮肤问题,加速大脑衰老,还容易使甲状腺失调,胃、肝、心脏都会受到影响,至于“气得肺炸”,更说明怒火会让肺换气过度,危害健康。克制怒气不只是为了人际关系的和谐,更是为了自己有一个健康的身体、悠闲的心态,才能保证生命的质量。
古代,有位将军动不动就发脾气,他甚至曾在朝堂之上顶撞过皇上,因为他劳苦功高,别人都让他三分,但他的仇敌越来越多,将军也渐渐感到有压力。
这一天,将军走进国内最大的寺院,请那里的高僧给他提意见。一开始,将军的言语里还有些责怪自己的意思,后来,他越说越烦躁,最后他说:“我就这么个脾气,江山易改,禀性难移,要我改?怎么改?”高僧问:“既然天生就有的东西,那拿出来给我看看,如果拿不出来,为什么改不了?”
将军听到这话有些生气,不客气地说:“你们这些高僧都喜欢诡辩!”法师说:“贫僧的话如果是诡辩,那将军的仇敌们对皇上说的也许‘诡’上数倍,到时将军该如何分辩、如何自处?人们说戒急用忍,不是委屈自己,而是为了周全,将军难道不明白这个道理?”
将军并非不明白“戒急用忍”的道理,正是因为明白,他才会进入佛寺。可是,脾气不是说改就能改,将军想得到的,是更加实用的建议。乱发脾气常常坏大事,给自己招惹不必要的麻烦。但火气上来的时候,常常不知道如何“熄火”。脾气毕竟是一种情绪,还是一种不易压制的激烈情绪。
克制怒气的方法并不难,在你想生气的时候,先攥紧拳头,倒数三秒。三秒过后,告诉自己:“三秒都忍住了,再忍一下。”忍过三十秒、三分钟,这气也就消了一大半,至少不会以最剧烈的形式发出来。只有耐得住性子,才能保证你做出的判断是理智的,你决定的行为是妥帖的。若任由自己发脾气,得到的只有敌视和仇恨,所以,凡事能忍则忍。
忍耐是一种美德,但无条件、无限制地忍耐却是一种懦弱,有时候甚至会憋坏自己,让心灵变得阴暗。有智慧的人知道什么时候需要发泄,在原则问题上,他们掷地有声;在重大失误面前,他们临阵不乱,对责任人严惩不贷;看到不公事件,他们讨伐指责,更知道及时帮助那些有需要的人。怒气不是不可以发,但要保证这火烧得有根有据,更要知道范围,星火燎原虽然壮观,却可能导致大灾。那些恰当的火光,才能保证自己的明亮,同时让人看到人性的光亮。
……

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