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Jingdong book

送给家长的心灵鸡汤

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送给家长的心灵鸡汤

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我有一双爱的眼睛……
我始终认为所有的孩子
都是好孩子,他们身上
有很多棒的地方,只是
有的没被别人发现。
Content Description

说话,看似是一件很简单的事情。跟朋友,你可以洋洋洒洒、谈霏玉屑;跟同事,你可以谈辞如云、攀今揽古。但是,跟孩子讲话,则是一门艺术。你知道哪些话孩子乐意听、哪些话不该对孩子说吗?
《送给家长的心灵鸡汤》中,列举了一些发生在日常生活中的常见案例。每个案例的后面,还有送给家长们的心灵鸡汤——家长教育孩子的技巧。每一位家长都可以针对自己孩子的特点,采取相应的家庭教育方式,使自己的孩子能够健康发展,拥有一个美好的未来。
Author Description

田玉芹,女,山东平度人。从事小学班主任工作三十年,平度市骨干教师,平度市少先队优秀辅导员,曾获得平度市优质课比赛一等奖,多篇论文获地市级奖励,一篇论文在省级刊物上发表。

代黎明,女,1968年出生,祖籍山东平度。从事初中教学工作二十余年,中学一级教师,平度市学科带头人,先后有十余篇论文获地市级以上奖励,三篇沦文在省级以上刊物上发表。
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话题一 对孩子提要求时,不能说的话
(一)只要你听话,你要什么都可以
(二)只要不吃亏,付出点代价没什么
(三)你再这么做,看我怎么处罚你
(四)你这样做能对得起我们吗
(五)作业写不完就不要吃饭
(六)就当妈妈求你了
(七)不吃饭就不许看球赛
(八)你也学学人家
(九)你再跟学习差的小朋友玩,就打断你的腿
(十)听我的,没错

话题二 孩子学习成绩不好时,不能说的话
(一)学习不好,长大就得捡垃圾
(二)你这辈子算是完了
(三)你就不能把心思用在学习上
(四)你真没出息
(五)你真是笨死了
(六)你脑子进水了吗
(七)你让我丢尽了脸
(八)看你怎么过你爸这一关
(九)你怎么这么不争气

话题三 孩子取得成绩时,不能说的话
(一)想要什么,我们给你买
(二)你怎么总是考不过人家
(三)就凭你
(四)只要学习好就行,其他什么也不用管
(五)你早这样不就好了吗
(六)你可真容易满足
(七)你咋净帮倒忙
(八)木头脑袋也能开窍
(九)这也叫成绩

话题四 教育孩子,应该做到哪些方面
(一)讲究原则,该说“不”时就说“不”
(二)举起表扬的旗帜,不给孩子贴反面标签
(三)让孩子养成集中精力学习的习惯
(四)家长应正确对待分数
(五)让孩子享有选择权
(六)停止唠叨,帮助孩子度过逆反期
(七)帮助孩子克服以自我为中心
(八)鼓励孩子交朋友
(九)用一颗平常心赏识孩子
(十)鼓励,是孩子成长的法宝
Book Abstract

(二)只要不吃亏,付出点代价没什么
嘉嘉,活泼好动,思维活跃,肯吃苦,在学校里劳动可是一把好手。但他无心学习,做事无持续性,自我约束力较差,爱惹是生非,常常因为自制力差而与小朋友发生摩擦,甚至跟小朋友打架。
周末,爸爸带着嘉嘉去公园放风筝。嘉嘉那股高兴劲啊就甭提了,他一边跑一边放线,时刻观察风筝的动向,风筝越飞越高。爸爸也充满爱意地看着他,时不时地向他喊话,让他放线或者收线。
正当嘉嘉玩得高兴的时候,一个大一点的男孩也过来放风筝。但是由于风向的问题,他的风筝还没有飞高就掉了下来。说来也巧,他的风筝线跟嘉嘉的风筝线缠到了一起。那个大一点的男孩用力拽了一下,没有拽开。嘉嘉的风筝也受到了影响,就赶紧收线,想把两个风筝的线分开。大男孩见自己的风筝没法起飞,还跟嘉嘉的风筝缠到了一起,心里很生气。他跑到嘉嘉跟前,二话没说,骂骂咧咧地把嘉嘉打倒在地,使劲地要把两个风筝分开,最后见两个风筝实在是扯不开,竟然一赌气把两个风筝都毁掉了。
嘉嘉本来挨了打心里就很委屈,又看到自己的风筝被毁掉了,哭着到爸爸跟前去告状。爸爸听了之后,感觉孩子受了这么大的侮辱,吃了这么大的亏,心里相当窝火,就气呼呼地对嘉嘉说:“他毁了你的风筝,还打了你,这不是明摆着欺负人吗?你怎么不打他?只要不吃亏,付出什么代价都可以!看你这副没本事的样子,还有脸回来跟我告状!”说着,爸爸风风火火地来到那个大男孩跟前,先是一顿大骂,然后竟然动起手来,打了那个孩子几个耳光。
大男孩哭着走了。不一会儿,大男孩的父母也奔了过来,双方大人吵闹起来,又一场战争爆发了…一
现实生活中,孩子之间有纠纷是常见的事。家长都心疼自己的孩子,总怕孩子在外面被人欺负,怕孩子吃亏,而家长又不可能时时跟随在孩子身边。在某些家长看来,做人不能太老实,老实人容易被人欺负,容易吃亏。经常有家长这样教育孩子:如果有人欺负自己,就要以牙还牙,不能吃半点亏,不要在别人面前表现出自己的软弱,被人打了就会被人看不起。只要不吃亏,付出什么代价都可以。这是对孩子多大的误导啊!
故事中,两个孩子因为放风筝而引起纠纷,爸爸见到自己的孩子吃了亏,受了别人的欺负,便向那个大男孩大打出手,为孩子“报仇”。另一方的家长也毫不示弱,结果因为一件小事引起了双方家长的一场“战争”。其实,如果孩子的打架行为发生在正常交往范畴中且并不严重,家长就不应过多干涉,这有利于提高孩子的协调能力和社会交往能力。孩子自己能解决的问题,应尽量让孩子自己解决。孩子自己解决不了,求助于父母,父母切莫简单处理,武断对待,或不问青红皂白打骂自己的孩子或别人的孩子,片面地说打架不好。父母应该首先处理孩子的情绪,然后弄清楚打架的原因,让孩子有正确的是非观。如果是自己孩子不对,父母应明确指出孩子的不对之处,并进行教育,还应该让孩子向对方赔礼道歉,指导孩子道歉时应注意礼貌用语。假如是对方不对,父母也应指导孩子,学会正确处理问题。
在日常生活中,因为孩子之间玩游戏打闹,最后大人也“参战”,导致冲突升级,造成严重后果的例子并不罕见。这种处理问题的方式,只能是火上浇油。孩子今天争吵完,过两天又嘻嘻哈哈地一块玩去了,而大人吵起架来,如果没有理智的一方,就会越打仇恨越深。
……

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