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Jingdong book

外公家书

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外公家书

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★外公在大学做了几十年老师,教的是师范专业,可以说是“老师的老师”。他讲课时,大人、小孩都能听得津津有味。如果有亲友的小孩子成绩不好,经他指点几次后,升学考试就拿高分。
★外公教育孩子其实很“狡猾”,他很懂得儿童心理,总是把自己摆在跟孩子同样的位置来交流。他不会在一开始就灌输理念,其教育方式一直都是渗透式的,循循善诱的,如涓涓清泉,让孩子不自觉地就学到了东西,整个过程孩子还特别高兴,认为这些都是自己的成果。
★很少有人能像外公一样把与孩子相处的每一时候自然化为开心课堂,他特别善于抓住教育孩子的时机。比如,要教孩子学习担当责任,在带孩子过马路时,他会在信里写“外公年纪大了,你要拉着外公的手,保护外公安全过马路。”这样孩子就会感到很光荣、很自豪,孩子自然就会说:“外公你眼神不好,我拉着你的手安全。”……慢慢地,孩子学会了怎么处理跟长辈的感情,怎么跟朋友相处……

★在当前应试教育压力大的教育环境下,如果家长能在孩子学前期采用《外公家书》里的“渗透式”“随缘式”等教育方法,孩子上学后各方面可能就会让家长极大地省心,骄傲。事实上,书中经过这种“家书式”教育的外孙煊煊,在家里,在上幼儿园和小学期间,一直在同龄孩子中都成长得很开心,优秀得很自然。

Content Description

对于学龄前的小孩子来说,家长们其实有很多方法来让他们开心成长,但外公为什么独独选择用书信和古典诗词来还原生活场景的方式教育孩子呢?其实,外公用心良苦。
从孩子三岁开始,一直到上小学,外公这一写竟写了三年。不要小看这一千来封信,在孩子3岁到6岁这段发蒙期里,这些信不仅教会了孩子学习的方法,还让孩子亲近自然、珍惜亲情、懂得孝道,认识了自我价值,学到了很多学校里学不到的东西……,重要的是,孩子知道了从日常生活的点点滴滴中,如何感受人生的美好与快乐。这对他正式进入小学及其后的过程中打下了坚实的学习基础,提供了强大的心理正能量,以至优秀得特别自然。
教育孩子不是一件简单的事,外公教育孩子真的很“狡猾”!

Author Description

陈允斌,知名饮食养生作家,国家高级公共营养师,致力推广中华传统的健康饮食方式,是生活食疗养生的倡导者。

Catalogue

孩子三岁
刚开始给孩子写信主要是让他开心:先开心,再识字
孩子开心,识字才快 :如何让三岁左右的孩子主动识字、背书
家里人出远门之前,为什么要教孩子说“祝您一路平安”
让孩子开心的事,写在纸条上给他看,比直接说效果更好
让孩子知道你是他的好朋友,他就听话了
“看多长却迟”:渗透式教育方法最灵
对古诗,只要读了就行,读多了,孩子自然就理解了
如果孩子感觉亲人们都很爱他,他就会自信满满
……
孩子四岁
如何让孩子明白“你是我们生命的延续”这个道理
如何让孩子喜欢自己和家人的名字
如何让小孩子喜欢吃杂粮
如何教孩子孝顺长辈
用“戴高帽子”的方法让孩子吃饭不挑食
如何培养孩子的反应能力
平时老表扬孩子勇敢,遇到打预防针等事时孩子就不害怕
……
孩子五岁
以大好人来介绍雷锋,这样对小孩来讲就可以了
教孩子知道做什么能让妈妈很开心
让孩子知道有些事不值得去在意
尊重孩子的“善变”
如何让小孩子学会守纪律
如何教孩子学会给长辈惊喜
春天来了,尽量“骗”孩子出门多走点路
让孩子知道什么是“寻找春天”
……
孩子六岁
如何培养孩子勇于尝新的开放心态
生梨伤脾胃,家长可以把梨煮熟了给孩子吃
大人也会犯错误,错了不要抵赖,认错就行了,小孩也是一样
告诉孩子:人都有缺点,改了就好
有时候,孩子犯了小错误不能批评,反而应该奖励
时间过得真快!不知不觉,孩子能看信了,是个文化人了
希望就要升为小学生的孩子以后能编更好听的故事给我听
……

Book Abstract

★序一 一张白纸,好画最新最美的图画
给孩子写信本是无心之举。我们家里有个信箱,我经常带着孩子一起去拿信,他每次都问:“这是谁的信呢?”我说是爸爸、妈妈……的信。有一天,他突然问:“外公,我为什么没有信?”
就这样,我开始给煊煊写信,然后放在信箱里面,每天让煊煊打开找,他拿到信时开心得不得了:“我的信哪!”,然后,他会拿着信念给家里其他人听,家里人也开心,给他竖个大拇指,鼓励他一下;有时候小朋友来了,煊煊也念给他们听,那些小朋友家长觉得这是个很好的教育方法,很喜欢,也经常夸奖他。这样一来,孩子的积极性也上来了,识字越来越多,而且每天都有期待。因为他感觉自己跟大人一样平等了,被人重视了,有人专门写信给他,还写“张奕煊小先生收”。
实际上,我并没有打算为外孙做一个很刻意的教育计划,当时的想法就是让孩子开心,不去阻碍他天性的发展,而且还能认字,因为教孩子一个一个地专门认枯燥的字没意思,还不如让他认得信里的每句话,认真感受日常生活中的美好的点点滴滴。
现在,很多家长成天主张要让孩子开心,但却不知道从什么途径来进行,我觉得给孩子写信这种方式是促进孩子开心成长的一个方便的办法,还能开启孩子的智慧。
比如,如何教孩子学习担当责任,我就在信里写“外公年纪大了,你要拉着外公的手,保护外公安全过马路。”孩子就会感到很光荣、很自豪,他说:“外公你眼神不好,我拉着你的手安全。”……慢慢地,孩子学会了怎么处理跟长辈的关系,怎么跟朋友相处……学到了好多在学校学不到的东西。
我认为,在孩子是一篇白纸的时候,学过的东西往往能深深地烙在上面,甚至终生不忘。
还有,怎么让孩子去了解中国的文化很重要,其实这些文化都凝聚在包罗万象的诗词里。诗词是润物细无声的,孩子天天读这些诗词,自然知道怎么去孝顺家长——“谁言寸草心,报得三春晖”,不需要大人再去说教。说教往往是无效的,反而通过诗词去渗透更好。在教孩子读诗词的过程中,我们家长也能学到很多,因为有一些东西我也不见得懂,为了教小孩,我也要去查一下工具书,不能讲错了。
我有个很深的印象,一次在给孩子写信时,我无意中把“丢三落四”写成了“丢三拉四”,女儿就赶紧给我纠正。我说:“幸亏你提醒我,万一就这样教他,他记住了可就麻烦了!” 孩子的记性很好,你讲错的话,他一辈子都记得。
另外,我觉得孩子就让他自然地成长,不要一开始就给他很大的压力,不要求他一定要达到一个什么样的高度。我曾经和有些家长也谈过,位置越高的人不见得越幸福。
我们就是很自然地教孩子,比如教古诗词,就是从最简单的开始,先教最简单好记的,他念得也开心,念了以后还可以和其他小朋友交流。我们从来没有规定孩子今天不背出来就要怎么样。
我认为,兴趣比什么都重要,人一辈子就应该做自己感兴趣的事情。不要强迫孩子做他不喜欢的事情。
现在回顾那些养育两个女儿和教外孙的时光,我很开心,更觉得是一种双赢。
希望看到这本书的家长们也在养育孩子们的过程中双赢,永远开开心心!
外公
2015年4月16日于北京

★序二 工夫在诗外
我的父亲在大学做了几十年老师,教的是师范专业,可以说是“老师的老师”。我年少时就读的学校,校长也是他的学生。他讲课生动有趣,大人、小孩都能听得津津有味。亲友的小孩子成绩不好,父亲给指点几次,升学考试就拿高分。
孩子们都愿意听他的话。他很懂得儿童心理,总是把自己摆在跟他们同样的位置来交流。煊煊小的时候,也认为自己最好的朋友就是外公。
父亲一开始给煊煊写信的时候,大家都觉得这只是他们祖孙之间的一个小游戏。孩子每天打开信箱找自己的信,很开心。渐渐地,我感觉这些信越读越有味道,就开始有意识地把信收集起来保存。从煊煊三岁开始,一直到上小学,我父亲这一写竟写了三年。每天一封信,一共写了一千多封。这些信教会了孩子学习的方法,教他亲近自然、珍惜亲情、懂得孝道,认识自我价值……最重要的是,引导孩子从日常生活的点点滴滴中,感受人生的美好与快乐。
九年过去了,外公的家书还在继续,只不过收信人换成了我的小外甥南南——我妹妹的孩子,而外公的信也有了更现代化的形式。我们建了一个小小的微信群,叫作“南南的信箱”。外公每天通过微信给南南写信,信后附上一首歌曲,有时候还配上自己拍的照片或是小视频,家里每个人都能看到。这个信箱不仅给南南带来了每天的期待和快乐,也让分离三地的一家人可以随时分享各自的生活,就像依然住在一起……亲情更浓了。
记得小时候,母亲告诉我一句古人的话:“汝果欲学诗,工夫在诗外。”我一遍又一遍地重读父亲的书信,想起了这句话,越来越懂得他的良苦用心。一千多封信,字字句句,贯穿始终的是“让孩子快乐”的初心。这正是“工夫在诗外”。我深深地体会到:无论是什么教育,必须能给孩子带来快乐,唯其如此,才可以称之为真正的成功。
陈允斌
2015年5月于北京

Introduction

我母亲对我说过,爱孙子胜过爱儿子,有了外孙张奕煊后,我才真正懂了。
我和煊煊手拉手玩时,三岁多的煊煊问:“爸爸妈妈都有信,怎么我没有?”
于是,当外公的我给他写了第一封信:“煊煊:你好!外公写”
我和煊煊一起一遍又一遍地读这封信,两人都很开心。
信写了一封又一封,亲情越来越浓,煊煊认识的字自然也越来越多了,也越来越懂事了……全家人都很开心。

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Brand Jingdong book
Brand Origin China

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Jingdong book