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Jingdong book

朋友还是敌人儿童社交的爱与痛

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Jingdong book

朋友还是敌人儿童社交的爱与痛

Name: 朋友还是敌人 儿童社交的爱与痛
Brand: Jingdong book
SKU: 4113048541
Price: 32.52 USD
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朋友能够帮助儿童拓宽视野，分享欢乐和秘密，陪伴他们一路向前，走向更加宽广的世界。但是朋友也会在背后说坏话、会背叛，会欺负和排挤他们。在《朋友还是敌人儿童社交的爱与痛》中，作者团队阐释了从出生到青春期这段时期，友谊在儿童生活中扮演的至关重要但少为人知的角色。
随着孩子们长大，他们之间的友谊会变得更加复杂，层次丰富，但也更加情绪化，既包含异乎寻常的亲密，又常常显现出令人困惑的冷酷。
《朋友还是敌人儿童社交的爱与痛》真实地还原了儿童时期人际关系的戏剧性，旨在带领父母深入理解社交行为的动机和意义。

Author Description

迈克尔·汤普森博士

杰出的心理学家，咨询师，专长为儿童和家庭问题。在美国各地超过700所学校承担过心理咨询师和辅导师的工作，有与儿童和青少年沟通和解决实际问题的丰富经验。

出版的《培养高情商男孩》连续76个月登顶《纽约时报》畅销书排行榜亲子教育榜。

凯瑟琳·奥尼尔·格雷斯

《独立学校》杂志前编辑，出版过多本非虚构类童书，在《华盛顿邮报》开设专栏，为年轻读者撰写健康及心理类文章。

劳伦斯·科恩博士

美国心理学家，专长为儿童游戏、游戏治疗和亲子关系。著有美国国家亲子出版奖金奖书籍《游戏力：笑声，激活孩子天性中的合作与勇气》、畅销家庭教育书籍《游戏力2：轻推，帮孩子战胜童年焦虑》、《亲子打闹游戏的艺术》

Comments

《斯波克育儿经》以来又一本关于如何养育健康孩子的敏锐又实用的指导书。这本书向读者描述了儿童的社交生活，以及家长、老师和学校应该在其中扮演的角色。

——《出版人周刊》

研究儿童发展，分为三个范畴：生理发展、认知发展、社会化和情绪发展。本书讨论的儿童的社交生活，属于儿童发展的社会化范畴。国内有个有意思的现象，很多学龄前儿童都在上各种辅导班。父母很关心认知发展，就是自己的孩子聪明不聪明。但是，我是收到很多妈妈的咨询，几乎没有一个人认为自己的孩子在认知上有问题，都是说孩子胆小、脾气倔、要赢怕输等等。也就是说，真正困扰他们的是孩子的社会化发展。然而问题是，社会化发展，不能通过培训、刷题等方式强化训练出来。社会化发展要让孩子在生活里，自己去经历，去体验，慢慢发展。

本书非常容易读，里面有很多具体的故事和案例，有研究来做观点的支持。书中强调父母和孩子的关系，分析了不同年龄段孩子的社交特点，也分析了在不同社交场景下孩子的交往特点。父母从本书里了解儿童的社会化发展，回顾和反思自己的一些经历，并启发自己在孩子的社交方面可能有哪些帮助。

——陈忻，康涅狄格大学心理学博士，美国儿童研究协会会员。畅销书《养育的选择》作者。

朋友，是孩子迈向独立很重要的标志，他们开始有自己的社交圈，随之而来的是欣喜和困惑，甚至是成长的阵痛，“妈妈，她不喜欢我”；“妈妈，她欺负我”；父母的引导回复也会形成孩子的社交态度。

这本书把孩子每个阶段遇到的社交问题用真实的案例呈现，让父母更好地了解孩子行为背后的原因，帮助父母更好地理解孩子、认识孩子的社交需求，同时也帮助孩子在人际关系中更有自信，找到做自己的力量。

——Jessica, 微信公众号：大J小D，畅销书《和美国儿科医生学育儿》、《和美国幼儿园老师学早教》的作者

Catalogue

推荐序/尹建莉

让孩子在人际关系中获得爱，远离痛

译者序/钟煜

在儿童社交的汪洋中，看清前路

前言

第一章生日聚会之邀

第二章家庭的重要性：稳固的依附关系在友谊诞生之初扮演的角色

第三章孩子与游戏：成长之旅

第四章当孩子有了最好的朋友

第五章深处丛林：群体在儿童生活中的力量

第六章最坏的敌人：儿童社交生活中的阴暗面

第七章仍在继续：孩子们如何应对朋友间的冲突、背叛与和解

第八章性别游戏的规则：生物学与友谊

第九章从相互讨厌到约会

第十章跨越差异

第十一章学校能做些什么

第十二章家长能做些什么

Book Abstract

老师和家长每天都会目睹儿童交往的各种场景。我们看到被孤立的孩子独自站在一边，听到自己的孩子在车里说别人的坏话，也看到孩子们多么思念朋友。我们也会翻出自己与社交有关的童年回忆，其中有欢乐也有痛苦。但这些回忆并非都能指导我们如何帮助自己的孩子。实际上，往往正是中学时代留下的社交伤痕，让我们在不必担心时却过度焦虑，在该有所行动时却徘徊不前;当孩子们其实已经在以最好的方式成长、适应和调节的时候，我们却反复纠结于他们所描述的痛苦。

当孩子们互相伤害对方的感情，彼此戏弄和背叛时，几乎没有几个成年人能够理解个中缘由。难道仅仅因为他们是“坏”孩子吗?为什么很难阻止他们拉帮结派和排挤某人?为什么有的孩子很难交到朋友?为什么有的孩子很容易受欢迎?为什么有的孩子只要有一两个朋友就心满意足了，完全不在意自己是不是受大家欢迎，而对另一些孩子来说，“受欢迎”却成了天大的事?我希望读完本书后，你能为上述问题，以及其他相关的棘手问题找到答案。

本书也致力于为老师和家长提供实用的方法，帮助解决孩子之间棘手的社交冲突。如果你是一位老师，读过本书后你应该能够判断出班里是否存在残酷或危险的情况，也应该能够知道一个被孤立的孩子是否需要你出面干预。如果你是一位家长，读完本书后你应该可以回答每位家长每天都在问的这个问题——我的孩子一切都好吗?本书将教会你判断孩子的社交生活是一帆风顺，还是面临危险和需要帮助。

Introduction

如果孩子在家庭关系中没有得到充分的滋养，那么与其他儿童的友谊可以 “弥补未曾得到满足的情感需求”，并且“友谊能够滋养孩子的灵魂”。但如何让孩子在学校里获得朋友，家长把孩子送进了学校，孩子在学校里到底经历了些什么，却不是每个家长都能了解到的。本书用大量的实例详细展现了儿童关系的各种细节，尤其是校园“小群体”，这有助于家长理解孩子某些不可思议的行为方式，了解儿童社会的某些“隐秘地带”，知道在学校这个看似祥和美好、风平浪静的地方，却经常暗流汹涌、充满危险。家长只有了解到这些，才能更好地理解孩子、帮助孩子。当孩子在同伴关系中遇到问题时，很多家长会显得异常焦虑;同时，对于社交本身，家长和孩子在认识上也经常会有分歧。作者一方面强调要关注孩子的表现，另一方面也提醒这些家长，问题的根源可能是自己的童年曾遭遇了类似的创伤。所以要放下对孩子的过度担心，相信孩子能应付绝大部分的问题，并且天生拥有像伤口自愈那样的自我修复能力。比如，“一个孩子应该有多少个朋友，这并没有所谓的魔法数字，所以只要孩子没有表现出郁郁寡欢或被孤立，家长就无须担心。”类似的既有高度又不失开阔的观点随处可见。所以本书不但对发展儿童社交能力有益，也能在精神上给家长以支持，更有利于家长的自我疗愈和自我完善。

本书的主要读者可能是家长，对学校管理者也有很好的参考价值。特别是本书较深入地探讨了校园欺凌现象，并给出了家长和学校应该如何应对的相关建议。

希望本书为儿童带来更多人际关系上的福祉。祝福每一个孩子和他们的家长!

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Jingdong book

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朋友还是敌人 儿童社交的爱与痛

朋友还是敌人儿童社交的爱与痛